Desperately Seeking Veronica Mars
by Kerstae
Summary: AU Season 1. How can you hate a girl who doesn't even have any memory of who she is? This is Logan Echolls biggest problem. For Veronica Mars... its trying to track down the identity of the guy who killed the girl who every one keeps telling her was her best friend... and how to navigate the fact that her dead friends boyfriend is one of the only things she can remember?
1. Chapter 1

It hadn't started out any differently than any other day in the existence of Logan Echolls at Neptune High School. His life had become the same Groundhog Day reality of one more day living without Lilly Kane and the agony that came with it. One more day spent missing the love of his life, and being stuck in a school with the girl he blamed for betraying him and helping to create the circumstances that led to Lilly's death.

 _Lilly Kane… gone because of a kiss…_

Veronica Mars. They used to be friends, a long time ago.

The daughter of the former Sheriff Keith Mars, the man who allowed the crime scene video of Lilly's body to be stolen from the Evidence locker at the Sheriff's Department and be spread all over the internet. It was a cruel twist of Irony that the same technology that had made her families fortune, was the same technology that had sent the video streaming Viral around the internet.

Lilly and Veronica had been best friends. She had been the girlfriend of Lilly's brother, Duncan Kane for most of junior and sophomore year while he had been dating Lilly… but then most 09ers at Neptune knew this story.

The murder of Lilly Kane and her traitorous best friend who stabbed her grieving ex-boyfriend in the back and sided with her father in his attempt to ruin the Kane family until he was ousted as Sheriff. The thought of what his friend Duncan and the Kane family had had to endure as the world and its tabloids speculated on the images of the worst moment of their lives had solidified his resolve to get back at Keith Mars the only way available. By punishing Veronica for her fathers mistakes. She had abandoned him… abandoned Duncan in their hour of need… she deserved whatever he could throw at her.

Logan could still remember that day in the school library as if it was yesterday and not almost a year ago. It had been the morning that he had seen the video of her body for the first time, before it had become engrained in his nightmares.

"Does your father still think that Lilly's father did this?" he had demanded as Veronica had stood in front of him. "That's my girlfriend…" he had pleaded but she never said anything. "Your Friend… Duncan's sister… Your dad is destroying the Kane family…."

 _Help me Veronica… you have to help me to stop this…._

"What's the matter with you people huh? What's the matter with you?" he had accused her.

He had come to her for her help, he had thought that she would understand that they had to get her dad to look for Lilly's real killer.. to back off punishing her grieving parents, to go public and stand with the Kane's in a press conference if they had to, he would have been with her every step of the way, he'd talked to his mother about inviting Lianne and Veronica to stay with them for a few days if they'd had to. Duncan had been disappearing slowly every day and he was worried that he wasn't going to come back, he'd needed her help.

Veronica had said nothing… she'd told him to go to hell.

His abusive father, A-list Hollywood Movie Star Aaron Echolls had even been nice to him in those first few months since Lilly's death… yet one of his best friends… someone he had loved and trusted… hadn't been there for him at all. She'd sided with her Dad after her parents had split up and they had had to sell their house… she worked for him in his new business Mars Investigations, siding with him over all of Neptune and Logan hated her for that… whatever she had done to make Duncan break up with her, had meant he was trying to navigate this grief alone while she ran off around the school playing Nancy Drew and he was trying to pick up the pieces of his best friend after the murder of his sister.

They had slowly become enemies, Abel Koontz had been arrested 6 weeks after Lilly's death, and she hadn't even apologised for being wrong. He hadn't been able to contain his anger after losing Lilly and Duncan's slow descent into a shell that walked and talked like Duncan, but no one was home, so Logan had begun to take his frustrations by lashing out at her.

 _If she'd just admit her father had been wrong…. He could have forgiven her… he still missed her…_

Then to add insult to injury, she had started treating Logan like he was personally responsible for every little thing that had gone wrong in her life… it wasn't his fault most of their classmates were assholes… but they became sworn rivals after that. His friend was gone… her preppy school look had given way to the rebellious, DM boot clad, combat jeans preferring, leather jacket wearing teenage sleuth of Neptune High.

There was no getting her back now… especially after she had hidden that bong in his locker and gotten him suspended. She had looked at him in satisfaction and gave him a smug happy grin. He'd smashed the headlights in on her car later that same afternoon, only for her pal Weevil Navarro to give him yet another beating. His father had beaten him repeatedly for three days because of her "delightful" little prank.

A small part of him was relieved that he wouldn't have to spend time with Imposter Duncan this afternoon, it was becoming increasingly harder to watch, the Lilly Kane Fountain Memorial was coming up in a few weeks and it was dredging up a lot of unwanted memories.

Not to mention Veronica Mars had just transferred into his Newspaper class yesterday… one of the few places that he could actually spend some proper time with his best friend, as Editor of the Navigator, it was one of the few activities where Duncan could become absorbed completely and be himself for a few short hours. _Now she was right there… was there nowhere that she considered sacred?_

"Tell the truth Veronica… did you sign up for Newspaper class so you could be around Duncan?" he teased, flashing his eyebrows at her.

"No… I did it so I could be closer to you" she flirted sarcastically and gave him a sweet smile.

Dick Casablanca's had let the air down in Veronica's tires again and Logan had to admit, watching the petite blond work up a sweat as she tried to change her tires always gave him a guilty thrill. He'd always thought she was hot and there was something about their little verbal dance that made him realise that physical attraction and emotional attraction don't always go hand-in-hand and there was no denying the chemistry that lingered when they argued with each other.

Curiosity he supposed, Lilly had always been a gossip so he knew Veronica had heard a lot about him during their time dating, and he had been her inexperienced boyfriend's best friend, so he had heard plenty about their little escapades... enough to fuel his imagination. _She joined Newspaper Class to be closer to him? If only…_

She was the only other person in the world who known the Lilly he had lost, the only left who understood this heartbreak as deeply as he did.

Weevil Navarro, his housekeeper's grandson was currently on litter duty and being held on suspicion of fraud for stealing one of his mothers, Lynn Echolls credit cards. Weevil was currently on clean up duty off the i5.

"Seriously how hard is it to find good help these days?" Logan had mused to his girlfriend Caitlin Ford as she sat perched on her desk, preening herself.

"What did you do about your housekeeper situation?" Caitlin asked.

"We had to let her go… if you can't trust your domestics… you can't feel safe in your own home" he had mused, running a hand along her leg.

"Did you know that 98% of all Identity Fraud is committed by _RELATIVES_ of the victim?" Veronica had accused him, looking directly at Logan. "That's an interesting fact… at least I think so" she said as he had crossed his arms over his chest. _She was accusing him of stealing from his own mother?_

She had meant more to him than anyone; the four of them had been family… now she treated him like the worst kind of jackass.

He'd been furious so he had arranged for a series of little _mishaps_ for her the following day. Orange soda in her locker, a few bumps into her to knock over her books and the old flat tires when he knew she had to rush off for a journalism assignment for the Navigator… although truthfully, these little moments were one of the only things that made him feel alive anymore. _He hated it… but he still cared what she thought._

He had just been walking past her familiar black convertible parked in the space opposite the school bus to admire his handy work and get rewarded by seeing her glaring at him as he walked back to his car.

"Bummer" he mused, looking at the flat.

 _No taking surf competition pictures in Gold Coast today bitch._

Veronica glared at him, he had done this on purpose she was just about to open her mouth and say something when the nausea over powered her and the ground came up to meet her.

It wasn't until after Logan had turned around to walk over and meet his girlfriend Caitlin that he heard a loud thud and that new kid Troy Vandergraf rushed to something behind him.

"Oh My God!" Troy exclaimed as he dragged his sweat shirt off and several other students looked over in concern. "Hey somebody get some help!"

Logan turned to see what all the fuss was about and then he saw the blood pooling in her blond hair… Veronica lay on the concrete convulsing and foaming slightly at the mouth. She must have hit her head on the bonnet of the silver car parked beside hers as she fell?

"Veronica?" Logan called, dropping his bag and crouching down beside them.

"You know her?" Troy asked as he tried his best to steady the tremors as she jerked around on the floor… then all of a sudden she went limp.

"Veronica?" he asked, trying to keep the rising panic out of his voice.

The cut on the side of her head… it looked so much like that video scene of Lilly… the blood was warm in his hand and his pulse was racing.

 _No No No…._

"Alright, everyone step back" Mr Sanders called, the school's football coach and he picked her up to carry her towards the nurses office.

"Logan!" Duncan gasped as he ran up to him. "What happened?"

"That blond girl you were telling me about… your ex? She just collapsed and started having some kind of seizure" Troy told him.

"A seizure?" Duncan repeated as he visibly paled but his tone sounded hollow.

"Should have known she was bit damaged" Caitlin said snidely as she handed Logan a make-up remover wipe to clean the blood off his hands. Logan felt sick.

Duncan turned to Logan and gave her a cold glare before following Mr Sanders to see if Veronica was okay and Troy followed.

"Can we get going now?" she asked him pouting while Logan picked up his school bag again and looked at the flat tire. _Had she over-exerted herself?_

"I should go check in on Duncan" Logan told her quietly before he headed back inside the school building.

"What did you do this time man?" Duncan demanded angrily as he paced the corridor outside the nurse's office.

"Nothing… I just turned around and there she was…" Logan replied defensively.

"Is Veronica okay?" Meg Manning asked as she clutched her books.

"No one knows yet" Troy told her quietly. _Who the hell was this guy anyway?_

"I do believe the final bell has rang Students" Mr Clemmons told them as he approached the nurses office.

"We are here to check on Veronica" Duncan informed him eagerly.

"Ms Mars is going to be seen to the paramedics very shortly" Mr Clemmons reassured them.

 _Paramedics?_

"Is she alright?" Wallace Fennel asked as he approached from the administration office. Logan looked at the African American student carefully, he was about the only person he ever saw her talk to these days.

"Hard to say for sure, there's some bleeding and she's coming around slowly but we still need to get her checked out" Mr Sanders told them as he came out of the room.

"Can anyone tell me what happened?" Mr Clemmons asked.

"She was just standing there getting something out of her trunk and then she collapsed, started convulsing on the floor" Troy told him.

"Mr Sanders, do what you can to try and get a hold of Keith Mars" Mr Clemmons asked.

"I'll get her file" Wallace said eagerly as he turned back towards the administration office.

"Mr Clemmons the paramedics have arrived" the school receptionist called as she escorted them towards the nurse's office.

"She's right in here" Nurse Jackie called but all Logan could see was the bottoms of Veronica's shoes from where he stood in the hallway.

"I'm going to get Casey to leave me home" Caitlin complained as she stood with her slender arms folded over her chest and glared at Logan.

"That's a good idea…" Logan said quietly. He'd never seen Duncan so animated, he was sweating and pacing around the corridor, it was about 10 minutes later before the lead paramedic called Mr Clemmons into the nurses office.

They spoke in a hushed tone and Logan strained to hear anything at all whatever it was he told him, Mr Clemmons looked visibly distressed by the news and stared at the petite blond girl who was sitting on the end of examination bed while Nurse Jackie cleaned the wound on her head.

 _What was going on?_

"Can we see her?" Duncan pleaded.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible" Mr Sanders declined.

"Why not?" Meg asked.

"Ms Mars needs to go for further examination" he explained as the third Paramedic wheeled in a stretcher. Logan was starting to get really worried now. He shouldn't care.. but he couldn't help it… watching them strap an unsteady Veronica Mars onto the little stretcher was freaking him out and the little audience followed the paramedics as they wheeled her outside towards the ambulance.

 _How badly was she hurt?_

"Mr Clemmons?" Keith Mars called as he raced down the car park as he arrived out of breath and Logan frowned.

"They are taking her to Neptune General Memorial" Mr Clemmons explained.

"Honey… honey are you okay?" Keith said softly as he approached his daughters side. "You hit your head, do you feel okay?" he asked again concern beginning to furrow his eyebrows as she regarded him cautiously.

Logan ran his hand through his hair as he watched from over Duncan's shoulder as Veronica shrank back a little on the stretcher, she looked a little frightened.

 _Frightened of her father?_

Her blue eyes surveyed her surroundings helplessly, she hadn't really spoken since she woke up but as her father reached for her hand she pulled it back in fear. Logan exchanged a quick glance with Duncan.

"Veronica, sweetheart… is everything alright?" Keith asked softly, confused.

She glanced around the crowd again and wrapped her arms around herself.

"Whose Veronica?" she asked shyly.


	2. Chapter 2

"According to Tad's his mom said it's like a complete blank slate" Pam said as she sipped on her smoothie. "It's like someone just wiped the hard drive in her head… and poof!" she said dramatically as she made a little explosion hand gesture.

"Do they know if she will ever get her memory back?" Meg asked as her boyfriend Cole looped his arms around her waist and joined them.

"They don't know… they don't really know what caused it" Pam explained.

"Well if someone had cut my hair like that… I'd like to forget that too" Madison said snidely.

"So… they don't know if it was the fall or the seizure?" Cole probed.

"Like anyone cares… finally it's bye-bye bitch" Caitlin complained.

"You don't think it's even a little sad?" Kimmy asked in shock. "I mean… I know she wasn't the most popular but that's like just being erased or something…"

"Well good riddance" Caitlin sighed and picked up her fork to begin eating her salad.

Logan couldn't listen anymore so he got out of his seat and headed back towards his locker but she didn't follow. It had been four days since Veronica had collapsed in the parking lot and so far the only thing he had been able to piece together was that she had amnesia. Retrograde amnesia. She couldn't remember anything from before she had passed out.

He wasn't sure why the thought that she couldn't remember anything felt like she had just died or something. Was this going to last?

 _She was the only one… The only other person who knew Lilly like he did… and now she couldn't remember?_

Logan passed by the administration office and saw that kid Wallace filing away some attendance slips before he approached him cautiously.

"Hey.. it's Wallace right?" he asked.

"I got nothing to say to you man" Wallace told him coldly.

"I.. I know you've been to see her… I was just…" Logan spluttered.

"Just wondering when she would be around for you to smash her headlights in again?" Wallace growled protectively.

 _Okay… I deserved that…_ Logan thought.

"No… I was just wondering if it was true…" he asked as Wallace glared at him.

"That she can't remember who she is? Or Was?" Wallace snarled defensively.

"Yeah…" he confirmed quietly.

"You'd love that wouldn't you? Finally get her out of your hair for good" Wallace accused him coldly.

Logan supposed he could understand how someone new to the situation could think that about him, hell it's what Caitlin had been blathering about at lunch, but the truth was… Logan was desperate for her to recover.

"Look there's a lot to this you don't understand…" Logan tried to explain.

"I understand that she lost her best friend and then you decided to make her life a living hell ever since… I am not telling you anymore… but I will say this… when she gets back… if you mess with her… you and I will be having a conversation" Wallace warned him before picking up the file in his hand and walking into the back office.

Duncan had been off school for the last few days, his father had called him away to go on some family trip to visit his aunt, Logan figured the sight of a petite blond girl who he loved with a horrible gushing head wound had triggered something for him, so he wasn't surprised by the news. The Kane's treated Duncan like he was 6 years old sometimes; Celeste probably wanted him at home where he could rest. Logan just wished he'd answer the phone.

"Dude… waves later look doable, you in?" Dick asked as he approached his locker.

"I don't know if I am feeling up for it today" Logan admitted.

"All the more reason you should come… get your head outta your ass" Dick reasoned.

How could Logan expect Dick to understand that all this stuff with Veronica was making him feel like he had just lost Lilly all over again?

"Probably, but my dad's still pissed about that missing credit card… there's been more charges this week, so I should probably just head home" Logan told him.

"Didn't that Weevil guy confess?" Beaver asked.

"Yeah.. but then there were more charges, so they are looking at it again" Logan sighed.

 _I wonder how long until my Dad thinks it was me…_

Logan wandered into the Newspaper class and looked at the empty seat where Veronica had been only days before.

 _"I did it so I could be closer to you…."_

Now it wouldn't matter where she would sit because everyone would be a stranger. The thought that everything about his fiery verbal sparring partner being gone... made him inexplicably sad.

She had betrayed him… she'd turned her back on him… what did it matter to him if he never saw her blue eyes glaring at him the same way again? If that beautiful mind never held the same maddening, frustrating, remarkable girl he'd grown to admire as much as he loathed?

 _Shouldn't he feel relieved that finally Keith Mars knows how it feels to lose his daughter?_

That last thought made Logan feel sick. He recalled how wide-eyed and frightened Veronica had been when she finally looked around the school car park.

"Whose Veronica?" she had asked shyly.

"You are sweetheart…" Keith had told her.

"But… who are you?" she had asked then looked around in confusion.

 _She didn't remember anything…_

How could he hate a girl who didn't know what she had done wrong?

"You okay?" Ms Dent asked as she walked into the classroom to find him staring at the empty chair.

"Yes, sorry.. I was just thinking" Logan smiled weakly before he turned and logged in to his computer.

"She's being released later today, I think she will be back in school by the middle of next week. The doctors are keen to help her get back into familiar surroundings as soon as possible to try and assist in her recovery" Ms Dent explained gently.

 _Familiar surroundings… in Neptune High?_

"Ms James is eager to talk to anyone who might need additional help processing anything as a result? It is rather scary… we can only be thankful that it hadn't happened while she was driving. It's a strange day when a flat tire could actually have almost saved your life" Ms Dent offered and Logan gave her shy glance. Most of the faculty knew what was going on with the bullying in Neptune High, but there wasn't much they could do without proof.

Logan didn't say anything, he just nodded a little as he got out of his chair and walked down the corridor to the counsellors office.

"Mr Echolls… is everything alright?" Ms James asked as she saw him sitting in the chair outside her office.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Logan sniffed as he wiped away the first tear.


	3. Chapter 3

One of the only things that Veronica Mars didn't mind about being in the strange little two bedroom apartment with the man people were telling her was her father was the eager 3 year old pit-bull called Backup who had followed her protectively around her new surroundings.

Somehow he made her feel safer, and at least… _dogs wouldn't lie to you right?_

He had been very excited to see her come home and she took that as a good omen for being in this new place. Keith Mars was a kind man, and she felt guilty about the way his brown eyes held such sadness when he looked at her. She wished she could remember something more about him but it was like everything she wanted to know was hidden behind an impenetrable frosted glass inside her mind and she could only make out impressions or shapes of something but when her mind tried to grasp hold of it… it was gone.

She remembered the MRI's, the doctors and the nursing staff from the hospital, she could remember random things, like how to make tea and what things were called… like table and apple but then there was this blockage… and there was nothing.

No information about who she was. Or had been.

Veronica looked at the photographs on her bedroom wall at the random smiling faces but if it wasn't for the mirror in the bathroom, she wouldn't have been able to identify her own.

"Are you hungry?" Keith asked her quietly as he watched her examining the clothes in her wardrobe.

Her stomach growled and she nodded politely, settling on choosing a small pink hoodie and he turned to walk out of the room.

"Uh… Keith? Sorry… I mean, Dad.. could I get a glass of water?" Veronica asked shyly.

"Of course" he smiled, and his face had that sad look again. She knew it wasn't supposed to be there, but she didn't know how to be His Veronica. Right now… she had a puzzle to solve. Everything about this life she found herself in was a mystery, and she had no leads.

She had been found passed out at school and there was only one thing she could recall before she had woken up in that Nurse's office at Neptune High.

A feeling… and a name… and as she looked at the pictures of her and another girl standing beside two boys she got the sense that she didn't want to dig too deeply into this memory.

"You could join me in the living room if you want…? or you could eat here… it's okay if you do" Keith said quietly as he brought her a small sandwich and a glass of water.

"Would it be okay if I just stayed in here?" she asked regretfully but she could tell he was disappointed. She hated making him feel this way… she knew she should feel closer to him… he was her father, but he felt like a stranger.

"Sure… it's probably best you get settled in" he nodded.

She barely knew him at all.

She reached into her small bag and lifted out her painkillers, the throbbing ache in her head was still there, and the stitches were carefully hidden under her ponytail.

"Can I ask you something?" she asked timidly.

"Of course, Honey… you can ask me anything you want" he said as he came in and sat down on the bed. Keith had been trying to keep his movements reserved, small, always careful not to invade too much of her space. His body language was always non-threatening she observed.

"These photographs… did I take them?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

She had been told by Wallace that she was on her way to do some photography for her school newspaper the afternoon before she collapsed. Before that wall in her memory came down.

"Yes… yes you love taking photographs… here's your camera" Keith smiled, he was excited by this development and he went into the hallway and returned with a large heavy black camera with an expensive lens, he handed it to her and she played briefly with the settings, zooming in and out. It felt familiar but then so did the taste of sugar in her coffee. This was frustrating.

"And these people… I know them well?" she asked as she showed him the picture of the group of them in formal wear. Something in his expression darkened.

"These are some of the people from your school… but we can talk about that another time… let's just focus on getting you settled home first" he smiled awkwardly and took the picture out of her hand.

 _He was keeping something from her._ Something bad was attached to this memory, and as she looked at the smiling happy faces, she dreaded to think what it could be.

"Meg will be with you today, so if you have any concerns or any questions… she will help you" Ms James the guidance counsellor assured Veronica as she held the small class schedule in her hands.

Part of her worried that they were rushing this too fast, there were more people in the hall ways here than she had seen in the entire two weeks she had been at home, but Keith had had to work today, and Wallace had promised to take care of her. The other students kept looking at her and whispering amongst themselves, she guessed it had something to do with that story that Wallace had told her about how she was the best friend of a girl who had been murdered last year?

 _Was this place ever going to feel more normal? Was this life she had woke up to find herself in ever going to feel like hers?_

"I promise, I won't let anything bad happen" Meg assured her.

There was some whistling from down the corridor and some boys began to sing in a little chorus as they passed.

 _"Is it all in that pretty little head of yours? What goes on in that place in the dark? Well I used to know a girl and I would have sworn that her name was Veronica. Well she used to have a carefree mind of her own and a delicate look in her eye, These days I'm afraid she's not even sure if her name is Veronica"_

Before they erupted into a fit of sniggering and Meg turned to glare at them.

"Very funny Dick!" she snarled.

"Oh come on… it's just a little fun" he retorted.

"Let's go" she said as she wrapped her arm through Veronica's and guided her towards her first class.

"Dude… you missed it" Dick chuckled as he slipped into his seat in Mr Wu's biology class.

"Missed what?" Logan asked, distracted, he was tired. This missing credit card case was making him lose sleep, an argument had erupted between his adopted sister Trina and his mother last night as she had accused her of being the one to steal the credit card.

"Mars… she's back" Dick grinned. "Did you know there's a song about a chick called Veronica who loses her mind?"

"She's here?" Logan queried as his head shot to glance over at Wallace's empty seat.

"Yeah, she's with Meg" Dick told him. "And it's weird… she's all quiet like a freshmen"

"Did they tell you if you will get your memories back?" Meg asked carefully as she sat in the seat next to her at the lunch table later that afternoon.

"They don't know.. they said I might recalls older memories first, and then more recent memories, but that with injuries like this.. sometimes they are never recovered" Veronica told her quietly.

"I'm sorry" Meg smiled, giving her that same pitying look that most people had worn around her lately.

"Why? It's not your fault… and from what I hear… there's some memories I probably don't want back" Veronica admitted.

Lilly Kane, the girl in the picture… The girl who was murdered.

 _Why would she want to remember something like that?_

Meg cast a nervous glance over at Duncan Kane and Veronica followed her gaze, one of the boys from the photo she had been carrying in her pocket. He had been staring at her for the last few lessons, like he wanted to come over and talk to her but couldn't quite figure out what to say.

"Everyone is walking on egg shells and it's driving me a little crazy" Veronica confessed as she opened up her yoghurt. It was just the two of them, Wallace was working in the administration office today.

"I can't imagine what this is like…" Meg sympathized.

"Like I've been dropped off onto an alien planet where everyone has been studying me for years but I barely know the language…" Veronica told her.

"So do you not remember anything?" Meg probed softly.

"Just… a thought… I don't know even know if it means anything… or who it is" Veronica began quietly.

"Well… if you want… I could try and help you figure it out?" Meg offered as she reached out and gripped Veronicas hand.

"There's a phrase keeps popping up sometimes… from before the world went black and I woke up… you know…" she smiled shyly making a small _poof_ hand gesture "was thinking… I miss you Logan" Veronica told her.

"Logan?" Meg asked as she shot her eyes towards the table across the food court.

"Yeah… it's about the only thing I can remember" Veronica confirmed.


	4. Chapter 4

Logan watched as Duncan kept casting little glances in Veronica and Meg's direction, it reminded him of the few weeks before he had finally asked her out the first time during their Junior year, it seemed like the Imposter Duncan had been replaced by Stalker Duncan.

"Her hair isn't going to get any less blond if you continue to stare at it" Logan told him quietly as he picked up a slice of pepperoni pizza.

"I just…" Duncan sighed.

"I know" Logan told him. _You just want to go and check she's okay._

For some reason, the prospect of getting to start over from scratch with Veronica had been all Duncan had been talking about the last few days. No baggage from when they had been dating, no awkwardness. They should just reach out and ask Keith Mars if they could help to bring her out of her shell a little.

He had seemed determined to assist in her recovery, he knew that Duncan had tried to visit her in the hospital before Celeste Kane had freaked out and ordered him to come home.

"Well.. I guess that is what they call inevitable huh?" Logan said as he noticed Meg looking over in their direction.

 _History repeating itself… even with a brain injury… Veronica seeks out Duncan._

"The cops pulled me over last night" Duncan said, changing the subject.

"Yeah? Your Superman Cape too bright?" Logan laughed.

"No… there was an outstanding speeding ticket… Lilly's" he said quietly.

"Man.. you would think they would have better systems to stop stuff like that from happening" Logan complained.

"Dad sorted it, they were going to impound the car" Duncan explained as he reached for his cola.

"At least it's sort though right?" Logan comforted him, and he didn't notice as Meg slowly approached the table.

"Hey… Logan can I talk to you?" she asked nervously.

"Me?" he frowned, casting a quick glance over at the table where Veronica was sitting making small talk with Cole Gleason, Meg's boyfriend.

"Yeah… it's important" she nodded.

 _Was she really going to get him involved in this little dance between Veronica and Duncan?_

"Alright… shoot, what's on your mind?" he asked as he put down his pizza and turned to face her. Meg looked around the small table and saw Duncan, Troy and Beaver looking at their little exchange with interest.

"Not here" Meg told him. Logan cast a quick glance over at his girlfriend Caitlin who was laughing with Madison Sinclair and Pam over some article in a magazine and sighed, pointing for her to lead the way.

"What's going on?" Logan asked they walked to the quiet corner beside the vending machine.

"She remembers you" Meg declared.

"What?" Logan choked. _Veronica remembers me?_

"Well not you exactly… but your name… she said it's like the last thing she remembers before..." Meg explained.

"I was probably the last person she saw before she passed out…" he said dismissively, trying to swallow the lump in his throat and to not analyse why the thought suddenly made his heart race. "It doesn't mean anything…"

"She said that she thought she missed you… and I was just thinking… if maybe you could spend some time with her… that it could… I dunno… might help trigger something?" Meg asked.

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea… it's not exactly like we have gotten along recently…" he said shaking his head.

"Nothing else has worked Logan" Meg pleaded.

"You have any idea the kind of memories that could bring up?" Logan retorted angrily.

"Surely any memory is better than nothing…" Meg snapped back. "Or are you worried that you might actually recall you gave a damn about her once?"

"I owe her nothing" Logan told her firmly before turning and storming off towards the boys locker room. It wasn't until he got inside and splashed some cold water on his face that he could quell the anxious breaths and he could look at his shaking hands. If he dwelled on it too long, he could almost still feel the blood on his fingers from when he had cradled her head in his hands.

 _She said that she thought she missed you… Surely any memory is better than nothing…_

What did that even mean?

Didn't Meg even realize what she was asking? Veronica didn't remember Lilly… she was free from all the agony that came from losing her… the more Logan had thought about it… the more he had been thinking that maybe she was better off this way…

 _If he'd cared about Veronica at all… wouldn't he have wanted her to be free from that?_

It wasn't until he found Veronica sitting alone in the computer lab later on that afternoon with something in her hand that he had had a chance to see her up close and personal since the seizure. They regarded each other awkwardly at first and she gave him a shy smile before tucking a strand of her blond hair behind her ear. She might have remembered his name... but she didn't recognise him.

She looked so different… she was dressed in a soft green t shirt and baby blue jeans with a cream jacket. Her usual DM boots were now small green pumps and she wasn't carrying her usual large brown satchel. It was just a small white shoulder bag. She didn't slouch confidently in her seat and glare at him, she barely even moved at all, her arms folded tightly to herself.

"You alone?" he asked, glancing around the room. _Surely they shouldn't have just left her on her own like this?_

"Oh uh… Wally has just gone to get my computer login reset" she smiled quietly.

"Oh.." he grinned. "I'm guessing you are having a bit of bother recalling the last one" he joked sarcastically.

"Just a bit" she laughed shyly. "But I did remember how to tie my own shoes… so you know… priorities"

Logan smiled a little.

"I'm Veronica.." she greeted him. "Though you probably already know that…"

"Yeah…" he sighed.

 _He had promised himself he wasn't going to get involved after that conversation with Meg earlier… but she just looked so lost._

"I'm Logan" he told her finally.


	5. Chapter 5

Her pale blue eyes widened and her hopeful expression twisted something inside his chest.

Where was the usual glare that called him out on his bullshit?

"Don't go reading too much into that… Meg told me you might be remembering some stuff… but we aren't friends… we don't even like each other anymore" Logan explained quickly and he watched as disappointment filled her eyes.

Why was he even talking to her?

Because Lilly would have wanted him to…

"What the hell did I tell you?" Wallace growled as he came back into the room. "I told you to leave her alone" he warned as he stood protectively over her shoulder and glared at him.

"Don't worry… I was just leaving" Logan told him as he picked up his bag and left the room again. In truth he was glad to get away from her… there had been nothing… nothing of the Veronica he knew in those girls eyes and he was trying to fight the lump forming in his throat.

Was she really just… gone?

If anyone would be able to get through to her it would be Duncan Kane.

Veronica looked at Wallace in surprise and her heart sank as Logan cast one last look at her over his shoulder, his brown eyes were unreadable.

"He was only saying hello" Veronica told him.

"Yeah well the last time I saw him say hello… he was using a crowbar to smash the headlights in on your car" Wallace explained as he handed her the small piece of paper with her login details. "He's Neptune Highs own personal psychotic jackass… those are your words, not mine"

Veronica frowned as she tried to absorb that information and form some kind of connection with the guy she had just met.

"We don't even like each other anymore"

"Why doesn't he like me?" Veronica asked finally, she barely knew him… but the rejection stung.

"He's Lilly Kane's Boyfriend" Wallace explained.

And I was her best friend….

Dinner that evening with Keith Mars was interesting; he was busy telling her stories about their various family trips and about the Mars Investigations Office clients, and how he had hired someone in temporarily to take her place as receptionist until she was feeling more up to it.

She was relieved to be back in familiar surroundings with less people, Meg was great and Wallace had always been around ever since she got out of the hospital… but the lessons were overwhelming, the teachers were sympathetic but she was just starting to realize just how much she had lost.

Home life was getting easier, they had found a little rhythm, but there were still moments that caught her father off guard. She wanted to get better for him… but the consultant Dr Sorrell still had no idea what had happened, or if it was going to happen again. Just to be sure, Veronica had started a small journal this time.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Day One at Neptune High… judgement is still out. I feel like the nice shiny new toy at the moment which wouldn't be so bad if I felt like I could trust most of these people. I wish I could remember something else… something helpful._

 _Met Logan today… apparently his dad is a movie star, I talked Keith {Dad} into renting a few of his movies, Breaking Point… it was okay. I can see where he gets those brown eyes from… there's just something really familiar about him…_

 _Keith finally trusts me to remember my way home unsupervised, so I got to walk Backup all by myself earlier. Yay for Milestones!_

 _I finally got around to googling Lilly Kane's name… there was quite a lot of press coverage… and turns out Keith used to be Sheriff of Neptune…. I really should stop digging into this. It's raising too many questions and there was a video link popped up… crime scene footage? Some things are just better forgotten. Going to a basketball game tomorrow night with Meg and Cole to support Wallace._

 _Bring on the normal… hopefully it will start feeling that way soon?_

Caitlin sat on Logan's lap in the back of his car nibbling his ear while she slid his hands under her shirt. It was date night but so far they weren't at the movie's like he had originally planned.

"You are a million miles away" she complained as she sat back up.

"Sorry pumpkin…" Logan relented and gave her a weak smile. Honestly sex was the last thing on his mind.

"You are gonna be… take me home" she instructed as she climbed off his lap and crossed her arms.

"We could actually go to the movie?" Logan suggested.

"Why? You can sit and stare off into space right here for free" she pouted.

"I'm just tired" Logan sighed.

"You have been tired for about two weeks now" she complained, her pale blue eyes flashing at him angrily.

"It's this missing credit card… my dad's going nuts… the whole house is…" Logan excused.

That and worrying about Veronica…

"Fine… but you are making this up to me" Caitlin demanded as she climbed back into his lap.

"Don't I always?" Logan laughed as he kissed her and she lifted her dress to straddle him. The sex was brief and hurried but it seemed to leave her placated and she went home content, but it wasn't long before Logan let his thoughts drift back to Veronica.

"Maybe if you spend some time with her it could help Trigger something?"

He hadn't told Duncan about his little revelation with Meg earlier today, but he had seen first-hand how broken hearted he had seemed when he had attempted to talk to Veronica the following morning in Newspaper class only to meet the same reaction that Logan himself had experienced in the computer lab the evening before.

It was like someone had completely wiped everything from her memory.

"You knew she had amnesia man" Logan reasoned with Duncan as he stood quietly beside his Locker.

"Yeah… but you would think that there's some stuff… that you couldn't forget" Duncan sighed.

You mean, how could she forget you if she loved you?

"It's still early day's man… give it time" Logan said, patting him on the back.


	6. Chapter 6

"This kind of injury involves many regions of the brain, including the frontal, temporal and parietal lobes. Damage or disease in these areas can result in varying degrees of memory loss" Dr Angelica Sorrell explained quietly as they sat in her third floor office of the Neptune Sacred Heart Hospital in the Neurology Department.

"So do we know what's caused it?" Keith asked cautiously as he looped his hand around Veronica's, but she felt more like she was holding her father's hand rather than him holding hers. He was the one that was waiting to get news if he was going to get back something he had lost.

Veronica didn't remember any of it… so had she really lost anything?

"Your daughter suffered from what we like to refer to as a non-epileptic seizure, thankfully there is no family history of epilepsy. A better name for them is 'functional seizures', usually these on their own do not cause any real long lasting damage, but coupled with the head trauma as seen here to the parietal lobes and the recent swelling, which thankfully has reduced significantly, we have to be on the lookout for other secondary symptoms like abnormal electrical discharges or blood pressure in order to prevent this from happening again" Dr Sorrell informed him and Veronica watched as the worry of another seizure occurring made him tighten his grip on her hand.

"And what about the memories.. will I be getting anything back?" Veronica asked quickly.

"We will be sending you to a specialist. My colleague Dr Jeremiah Holtz is a specialist in neurological issues, Dementia and Alzheimer's for instance. People with more-severe forms of amnesia may require direct assistance from family, friends or professional caregivers. You are incredibly lucky" she assured them. Keith Mars started to sob quietly. "I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but I have seen patients who had to be confined to wheelchairs after seizures like this, or suffered severe hearing loss" Dr Sorrell added.

"Good time to do the lottery then huh?" Veronica smiled as she held her father's hand tighter.

"Mr Echolls" Ms James said in surprise as she returned from her lunch. "This is the second time I have seen you outside my office voluntarily in about two weeks… would you like to come inside?" she said as she held the door open.

Logan nodded and picked up his belongings and followed her inside, setting his bag down onto the floor beside his chair.

"How can I help you Logan?" Ms James said as she sat down at her desk opposite him.

"I don't know Becky… I'm not even sure what I'm still doing here…" he admitted quietly.

"It's Ms James… now do mean in my office… or at the school?" Ms James asked carefully.

"Both" he sighed. _Living in general…_

"Last time you were here, you were very upset" she observed.

"Yeah" he replied but he wasn't looking at her.

"You said it's like she's abandoned you again… and she's the only one who knew what you were going through" Ms James prompted him. "You never told me who _She_ is… are you ready to talk about that some more?"

"It's not Lilly if that's what you are thinking" Logan told her.

"Veronica Mars… of course…" Ms James sighed. "It seems like her recent medical issues have affected you in quite a profound way…"

"It's like she's dead too" Logan sobbed and he watched as the counsellors hazel eyes softened in sympathy. "I spoke to her again today… and there's just nothing…"

"What's happening to the Mars family is unfortunate Logan… but Veronica is still here" she reassured him.

"Not the Veronica I knew… the one who remembers…" he sniffed.

"Not the one who knew Lilly" Ms James nodded slowly in understanding.

"I mean… even when I was mad at her… at least she was still there… there was still someone…" Logan explained.

"Someone who understood what you were going through" Ms James said as she passed him a tissue.

"Yeah… and now it's like she's screwing with me all over again…" Logan told her.

"Why would you say that?" Ms James probed.

"Because she wasn't around the first time I needed her… and now she's not around at all…" he said blowing his nose.

"You feel like her injury has made her abandon you?" the school counsellor said softly.

"It's like losing another piece of Lilly all over again" Logan lamented.

"There is still the possibility that her memories could be recovered…" Ms James comforted him.

"Veronica was my friend too… and when I look at her now… there's just this stranger" he said dismissively, shaking his head.

 _He'd never felt more alone…_

"How do you think she must be feeling?" Ms James asked carefully. "I know you are worried that you have lost another piece of Lilly, Logan…"

"She remembers me…" Logan admitted finally.

"Veronica?" Ms James said in surprise.

"Not all the history… I mean… she couldn't have picked me out of a line up until I told her who I was… but she remembers something" he explained.

"And this upsets you?" she probed.

"If she was going to remember something… couldn't it have been something important?" Logan asked.

 _Like Lilly…_

"Have you considered that for Veronica… maybe she did remember something that she thought was important?" Ms James replied.

Logan slumped back in his chair frustrated and didn't reply.

 _If I'd ever been important to Veronica… then surely we still would have been friends?_

Wallace slid into the seat opposite Veronica at the Mars dinner table and picked up a bread roll.

"I love this Gumbo Mr Mars" he smiled.

"It's one of Veronica's favourites" Keith said politely as he put down the pot and handed Veronica her bowl.

"If it wasn't before, it definitely is now" she joked. "I still think you are taking liberties… there's no way that I never dipped my fries into a milkshake" she accused him as she picked up the tabasco sauce and put a few drops into her food.

"It never ceases to surprise me how you do that…" Keith breathed slowly.

"Hmm?" Wallace said as he gave her father a puzzled expression.

"Preferences… even with no memories… it seems she still doesn't think my cooking can go uncorrected" he laughed.

"This.." she said pointing at the pot on the stove. "is like baby food… I need's me some spice!"

"Game time is up in fifteen" Wallace reminded them.

"I still doubt I was ever really _that_ into basketball…" Veronica said raising an eyebrow.

"Then maybe let's teach you some new habits Supafly" he winked.


	7. Chapter 7

It was Saturday when Meg Manning and Veronica were in the Neptune North Street Mall shopping and Logan spotted them as his girlfriend Caitlin and Pam dragged him into yet another purse store, and his pulse immediately started to race. Their paths hadn't really crossed since his little conversation yesterday in Ms James' office. It seemed even when she wasn't herself, Veronica could still get under his skin somehow and, even with the repetitive thoughts of how he was going to try and navigate this new version of her… he hadn't been expecting to see her until Monday when he was planning to be accidentally-on-purpose in the same vicinity.

It was odd to be watching her like this… she was smiling and laughing at something that Meg's sister Lizzie had said. She looked just as she had before, but there was none of that hostility, none of that tough edge to her posture and she blushed when their eyes connected as she caught him staring at her.

 _Brave New Veronica…_

Logan gave her a small wave and she smiled back shyly, tucking her hair behind her ear, she did that a lot recently he noted, always on the same side where she had hit her head.

"Ugh… I can't be having a fashion crisis right now, my schedule is full!" Caitlin complained as she looked through the rails of scarfs.

"Can't say I didn't warn you... we should have just driven up to Beverly Hills… there's never anything in here" Pam agreed.

"You really have no idea who I am do you?" Rick Pickett snarled as he stood in front of Veronica angrily.

"You'd think the confused look and blank stare would have answered that for you.." she replied sarcastically.

"Just leave her alone…" Meg said as she tried to push him away.

"I don't care what your excuses are… your dad is going to pay for what he did to my family" Rick snarled and Veronica backed away from the infuriated sales assistant.

"Pay? I don't even know who you are…" she said glancing over her shoulder as he backed her up against the wall.

"That has got to be the lamest pick up line in existence" Logan snapped as he hauled Rick backwards and shoved him away from the three girls. Where was Wallace?

"Encase you needed a little help… that's the ladies way of saying she's not interested so why don't you go do a stock check or something?" he added angrily as he tried to ignore the obvious look of relief on Veronica's face.

 _He'd have done this for any girl…._

"This isn't over…" Rick warned her as he glared at Logan and stormed off towards the other side of the store.

"No.. its Done" Logan threatened.

"Thanks Logan" Meg sighed as she wrapped an arm protectively around Veronica and he gave her a quick once over. The old Veronica just would have used her Taser to subdue the jackass.

"You any idea what that was about?" he asked. Not that he should be surprised if they didn't… the Mars family were quite adept at making enemies.

"What was all what about?" Veronica joked quietly and Logan raised an eyebrow at her.

 _Amnesia jokes… really?_

"No idea… he just came up and started threatening her" Lizzie told him as she clutched the small bundle of sweaters in her hand.

"Ah… Logan?" Caitlin called from the entrance and he turned to see her standing there with her hand on her hips expectantly and he gave Meg and Veronica a quick glance before waving goodbye as he joined his girlfriend again. "What the hell was that?" she demanded.

"I thought you loved it when I got all John Wayne" Logan retorted.

"That's not what an apology sounds like" she told him.

"Funny… that's not what I was going for" Logan replied as he began to head towards the food court.

"I am getting really sick of this Obsession" she accused him.

"Obsession?" he asked as he turned around to glare at her.

"Yeah, your one man mission to colonize Mars" she snarled. "You are _MY_ boyfriend" she said possessively.

"Oh well that's a shame… I told them we would save them a seat" he retorted.

"Not at our table!" she snapped.

"Don't sound so disappointed… someone might think you don't like me" he joked.

"Well frankly Logan… Lately I don't" Caitlin told him as she glared.

"Excuse me?" Logan spluttered in surprise.

"Actually, I won't. I'm sick of it…" she snarled. "You alienate everyone who cares about you and I am tired of trying to hold your attention when all you do is give into your little Veronica Mars infatuation"

"Yea? Then why do you bother?" he spat back angrily.

"I'm not… not anymore" she said simply before pivoting on her heel and walking away with her hips swaying as Pam fell into step beside her.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Scented candles are burning, relaxing bath time music was on the Youtube playlist and I have just finished girly-ing it up with Meg and her sister Lizzie today. I think I am appropriately scented like raspberries and vanilla and my hair is now silkier and bouncy. I've also gotten a wardrobe overhaul… those band t-shirts don't really mean anything when you can't remember the bands but in other news we finally tracked down someone who can unlock my computer today… anticipating the secrets it can reveal tomorrow when Cindy "Mac" Mackenzie finally gets it back to me._

 _I attempted to bake something today, the Boston cream pie did not go well but Keith was very sweet about it anyway. I really have to start calling him dad… Wallace has started acting a little strange the last few days since we went to the movies, Meg thinks it's because he might be developing a crush. I really hope that's not the case. He's one of the few people I know here._

 _Although… speaking of crushes. I think I might have one on Logan Echolls… but that would be messy and complicated._

 _I'm not sure if it's because I might like him after what he did in the Mall today or if it's because being around him is the only time I don't feel completely out of place. I guess I could ask Dr Jeremiah Holtz tomorrow when I go for my first session? Hypnotherapy… if that's anything like the aroma therapy oils that Meg has burning in my Scentsy burner that might not be so bad._

Veronica finished making her daily journal entry and unplugged the small scentsy device and called Backup to cuddle up beside her on the bed. From what she had been able to piece together from the other 09ers at school and her little chats with Duncan Kane, things between her and Logan had gone sour just after Lilly's murder, but no one could quite explain to her why. She always caught his gaze lingering on her but he wouldn't speak to her.

Which was a shame, because a part of her was sure he was the clue she needed to start piecing things back together again.


	8. Chapter 8

"You missed lunch again" Logan accused Duncan as he entered the Newspaper office.

"No, you missed lunch" Duncan corrected as he slid into the seat beside him. "We were all there"

"Come on… we both know she wasn't there" Logan said bitterly.

"You make it sounds like she's gone. Maybe if you joined us you'd see that she's still the same person" Duncan told him. "She's just.."

"Not the same person" Logan told him. _She's like the girl you fell for… she's not the one who was Lilly's best friend… she doesn't even remember she should be missing Lilly…_

"I thought you hated the old Veronica" Duncan told him coldly before he picked up his notebook and went to sit at another desk.

 _I did… and I miss her._

 _How could someone just not be there anymore?_

"It sounds to me like you are grieving" Ms James told him quietly. "Are you sure this doesn't have anything to do with the Lilly Kane Fountain dedication coming up?" she probed.

"That or that suddenly Duncan's decided to stop behaving like a zombie… it's like he's completely forgotten everything her father did…" Logan said angrily, these little sessions with Ms James were becoming more and more frequent and he couldn't understand why.

"Maybe he's just trying not to punish this new Veronica with thing's she can't remember?" Ms James suggested.

"Like that changes anything" he scoffed.

"Doesn't that kind of change everything? This is a new opportunity for you as well Logan… it's a chance to let go" she offered.

 _I don't want to let go… I want her back…_

"Attachment serves two basic functions. First, attachment ensures the individuals remain in the proximity of the caregivers to procure resources for survival and protection. Second, attachment "quality programs" the brain" Dr Holtz explained.

"But if it's for… say a person… after something like this… does that mean something in particular?" Veronica asked shyly.

 _As in… why do I feel so compelled to get to know Logan Echolls?_

"It's possible that stronger emotions could have left a deeper impression leaving you feeling more closely bonded to certain individuals… shared trauma's for instance" he said softly.

"Like the murder of a loved one?" she asked and noted that Keith Mars winced a little.

"Yes" he confirmed.

"But I've been through all the pictures and videos…. I have no memories of Lilly Kane" Veronica assured him.

"That you are aware of… those could resurface with time" Dr Holtz told her. "So recovered memory therapy generally is applied to such methods as hypnosis, age regression, drug-assisted interviewing and guided visualization… we just need to start some introductory sessions, and see where it goes from there" he smiled.

Veronica had been developing a habit of trying to suck in as much information about each moment around her as possible, Dr Jeremiah Holtz had a thick accent, and grey eyes, they were made even more striking by the salt and pepper colouring in his hair.

"We have determined that you have no problems sustaining the retention of new memories, that is a very good sign" he assured them. "The ultimate challenge we face is that although the CT scan showed no obvious signs of prolonged damage, and none of the other cognitive processes seemed to be affected, it is the untangling those real from fake memories which could take some time"

"Cognitive processes, you mean all those tests and tasks she was taking?" Keith asked.

"Yes, for all intents and purposes, she is still in many ways the exact same individual" he told him.

"It's just like someone hit a bit of a reset switch?" Veronica suggested.

"You would be the best person to judge that… it is just unfortunate that there aren't more people around who could help you to confirm what you might uncover" Dr Holtz said sadly.

 _Yeah…. Pity there wasn't someone who was like a best friend who knew all my secrets who could help give me back the greatest hits…. Veronica thought as she thumbed the picture of the four of them at homecoming dance._

Maybe she did have a reason to be missing Lilly Kane.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _If you ever want to experiment with drugs but don't want the long term side effects, I recommend hypnotherapy with Dr Jeremiah Elijah Holtz, of Neptune's Sacred Heart Hospital. You want erratic crazy images of weightlessness, discomfort and the taste of salt and lime… your limbs refusing to respond and waking up screaming…? He's your man._

 _I'm guessing it didn't go well because he took dad outside and there were all these awkward questions about potential histories of assault from the psychologist._

 _Recovered Memory Therapy?_

 _Fun fun fun._

Veronica smiled weakly as Keith Mars handed her a small hot chocolate and they settled down to watch an ocean exploration documentary. She really wished there was a different way to get her memories back, because if this was the start of it? She really didn't want them back at all.


	9. Chapter 9

"You forget your way to class?" Logan joked as he found Veronica sitting by herself outside the Lilly Kane Memorial Fountain site, it wasn't finished yet but the letters could be seen clearly. He'd just finished a phone call with his mother informing him that Chardo Navarro had just been arrested for the theft of the identity fraud of the credit card. Veronica was alone, it was a rare moment, just the two of them.

"Do I come here often?" she retorted sarcastically, before she looked over her shoulder at him and her demeanour changed. "Amnesia humour… sorry" her blue eyes looked away nervously.

"Really? I couldn't quite recall.." he replied as he swallowed hard. _Since when did Veronica Mars ever say sorry?_

"I had a really good one once…. Or was that twice?" she smiled as he slid into the seat beside her. "I can't remember if that's supposed to be funny" she added as she turned to regard him carefully. Weevil had confirmed Wallace's story about the whole headlights incident on the beach, but then she'd heard a story from Dick Casablanca's about how she pulled a prank and gotten him suspended?

"Well at least you didn't forget your terrible sense of humour" he sighed.

"Couldn't quite seize onto that one" she joked and he raised his eyebrows again. "Sorry…" she repeated as she fiddle with something in her hands, being around him seemed to put her on edge.

 _Again with the apologizing?_

"Is that..?" Logan asked as he looked at the photograph she was holding.

"I don't know" she admitted as she placed it onto the table.

"This was homecoming" Logan said as he inhaled deeply and picked it up, the edges of it looked like it had been refolded several times.

 _What was she doing with this?_

"I was just trying to remember… something.." she told him, frustration in her tone. "I'm not sure I want to… but it just feels, wrong… to not know anything about her… after what happened… she doesn't deserve to be forgotten like that"

Logan looked at the four smiling faces in the picture, there were so young here.

 _Neither did you…_

"Yeah, well good luck with that" Logan replied as he slid the picture back towards her and stood up to leave. _Talking to this Imposter Veronica was a mistake._

"I'm only asking because no one else will tell me anything" she pleaded. "Why are we like this? Why won't you talk to me?"

It was true, most of the other 09ers had embraced Veronica back into their little clique but he hadn't made any effort to get to see her if he didn't have to.

"Because I have nothing to say to you… it wouldn't matter any way… the girl I'm angry with? She's not you… she's gone" Logan declared coldly.

"No I am not!" Veronica said angrily as she stood up. "I am right here… and the only thing that feels familiar in this entire upside down world I'm in where my best friends dead and my dad's some kind of conspiracy nutcase, is _you_!" her blue eyes felt like they were pouring themselves into him.

"Familiar… familiar how?" he demanded. _Familiar like you abandoned me?_

"I can't put it into words… it's just a feeling.." she told him.

"So you have _feelings_ for me?" he snorted and laughed as he turned to walk away.

"Kind of… yes" Veronica confessed and Logan felt like she had just slapped him.

"You should get to class" Logan told her finally as he turned and headed towards his car.

 _This was just great… freaking perfect… he was grieving the loss of his friend and this pod-person was developing feelings for him? Kind of…_

What did he care that she was suddenly trying to remember Lilly?

 _She's trying to remember…_

Logan pulled down the glovebox and took out the small leather book he kept there. It was the one he stored his favourite photographs in, he kept it close encase his dad decided to go off on one and he needed to get out of the house.

She'd just yelled at him…

 _"I am right here… and the only thing that feels familiar… is you!"_

Familiar could mean a lot of things…

So why did the thought make him feel like he was having a panic attack?

Lilly's smiling face looked up from the photograph like she was taunting him.

"What kind of feeling?" Logan demanded as he cornered Veronica as she was walking with Meg Manning to her car for her ride home.

"What?" Meg asked but Logan ignored her.

"Describe it to me" he demanded.

"I-I can't" Veronica told him.

 _She had no point of reference for what it was… she had no experience of anything similar…_

"Then try harder" he ordered as he backed her up against the car window.

"Logan… I think you should back up a little" Meg told him.

"You want me to tell you something? You want to know why we don't talk?" he said as his brown eyes flashed angrily at her.

Veronica nodded slowly, her submissive blue eyes were wide.

"You abandoned your friends when they needed you… that's the kind of person you are" he said coldly.

"Logan that's enough!" Meg shouted at him.

"Don't worry… I'm done" he replied calmly as he turned and walked away again.

"Did I abandon my friends?" Veronica asked her father while they sat at dinner that evening in the small two bedroom apartment in Sunset Crescent Apartments.

"No honey… no. I think certain individuals think that you did, but everything that happened… it was a rough time for all of you" Keith told her simply.

Mac delivered her laptop into school the following morning, with all the passwords changed and the hard-drive was backed up. Wallace was currently in the administration office with Meg, seems that weirdness she had been sensing was that Wallace had a little crush on Meg, the two had been doing an awkward little dance ever since it was discovered that Cole had cheated on her with Shelley Pomoroy a few weeks ago.

"Thanks for this" Veronica smiled as she placed it safely into her locker.

"It's no problem… your new password is Amnesia123, just so you don't forget" Mac smiled.

"I'll have to remember that one" Veronica giggled, but stopped as she noticed Logan wandering down the corridor ahead of them. "Thanks again Max, I'll have to catch you later"

"It's Mac" she corrected.

"I know" Veronica said as she winked.

"Memory humorous!" Mac giggled.

Logan was on his way to Physics when the blond petite Imposter Veronica grabbed him painfully by the arm and dragged him into the girls bathroom.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"This" Veronica declared before she grabbed his shirt and pulled his mouth towards hers and kissed him.


	10. Chapter 10

Veronica's lips brushed against his and at that first deliberate touch Logan felt a shiver run through his body, her kiss wasn't hesitant, it was hungry and eager. Electricity snapped through the air between them and his hands that moved to her shoulders to push her away found themselves pulling her body gently yet purposefully towards him, one buried in her blond hair and the other on her lower back as her arms wrapped themselves around his neck. He felt like he was suddenly gripped by a fever as he tasted her.

 _What had happened to that outrage, the indignation and anger that had kept that safe wall between them?_

The magnetic pull he was feeling towards her was more than just a chemical reaction of some teenager not in control of his hormones. The anger and the hurt that had driven them apart, that had made him lash out had only been a barrier to help him deny this subconscious need to have her in his life and this connection he felt hummed through his body. Something about the feel of her in his arms just felt so _right_. His hands on her felt like they belonged there.

 _The heat of her was so close… but it's not her…._

The feel of her fingers caressing his neck as she explored his mouth knocked down his confused protesting thoughts like dominoes and he move like a streak of lightening, turning them both to press her against the wall behind them, groaning as she flicked her tongue against his.

 _What were they doing?_

He cupped her face and deepened their kiss and she whimpered a little in response, her body shivered a little and he pulled back panting and the look of unguarded desire in her eyes almost devoured him. He ran his hand down to her hip and tried to calm the erratic beat of his pulse.

 _This is wrong… the old Veronica never would have done this… she didn't look at him this way…_

The absence of all things Veronica had been tearing him apart and their small little interlude from reality was starting to fade as he took notice of their surroundings and he took his hands away from her, stepping back. Weeks of trying to avoid anything Veronica related and now he didn't want to take his hands off her.

 _She didn't know what she was doing… this is taking advantage… She's confused…_

His brown eyes searched hers and she could see the war of different emotions battling for dominance as she breathed heavily.

"I didn't have words… for that feeling… so…" she told him finally as she backed away from the wall.

 _So she thought she'd show him?_

His mind was still racing and before he could respond she turned and walked back out of the bathroom. The disappointment and relief he felt at the same time made him think he was certifiable. His body ached for her to come back and finish what they had started… _what had they started?_

Logan spent the rest of the day feeling like he was going to go insane. _Had she somehow gotten him confused with Duncan? There was no denying the obvious wires crossed in her brain…_ His friend had been so excited about the prospect of getting Veronica back in their lives, this would crush him.

He felt guilty, outraged and frustrated. _She was Lilly's best friend…_

 _Not that she could exactly remember that part…_

She'd dragged him into the girls bathroom… that was something the teenage sleuth had used to do with people all the time when she was working on a case. The longer he thought about it, the angrier he became. It wasn't her fault, he knew that, but part of it felt like the Old Veronica had just found yet another way to screw around with him.

Veronica had barely looked in his direction since their little encounter and that somehow made it worse. It was enough to make him want to pull his hair out in frustration. Dick hadn't noticed that he had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout their surfing that afternoon. Surfing the breakers out in Nereids Point with the cold sea water had been exactly what he had needed to clear his head a little, and the high winds had certainly helped him to cool down. He'd been lost in his own thoughts until he was packing his board into the back of his car when he saw Veronica walking her dog along the beach.

 _Who the hell did she think she was?_

"You can't just do shit like that" he scolded her as he walked up to her.

"You weren't complaining" she said nonchalantly but she barely even looked at him.

"I'm serious" he told her as those rich brown eyes almost stared her into the ground.

"You wanted answers… I gave them to you" Veronica told him, unrepentant as she moved Backup around a small sandcastle and walked away.

"And what you forgot how to use words?" he snorted sarcastically. "Having memory problems doesn't give you an excuse to be a bitch!"

"Someone's testy… look, you got your answer now you can go back to your fabulous life and I can go back to trying to salvage what I can get back of mine" her ice-blue eyes finally glaring at him. Veronica felt embarrassed enough about her wanton lack of impulse control earlier at school, she wasn't even sure what had possessed her.

 _Really?_

"You think this is funny?" he demanded. "We were never like that…"

"Okay, I get this is complicated…" she relented.

 _Kissing my dead girlfriend's best friend is just complicated?_

"Complicated? Did it ever occur to you that I might miss _her_?" he told her angrily.

 _That seeing you running around with the face of a girl I loved might be too hard to deal with right now? That your little attempt at a trip down memory lane might be screwing with my head?_

" **Her** … you keep saying that like I'm not…" Veronica frowned.

"You aren't" Logan snapped.

Something inside her chest broke, didn't he understand that she was trying to be? That for the first time since she'd woken up in that nurses office being in his arms had felt like the first place she had felt certain of?

"Well then earlier shouldn't matter" she replied coldly before storming off down the beach away from him.


	11. Chapter 11

_Dear Diary,_

 _I am starting to think the idea of putting my face on a milk carton is not going to solve this case. Keith Mars is a private detective, a sleuth… he makes his living out of tracking down bail jumpers, cheating spouses and finding missing persons. Pity I can't hire him to find my missing memories._

 _I've been staring at my computer for about an hour. I finally have a password, there's all kinds of secrets waiting to be discovered in there. So why is it freaking me out? Why can't I just login and go on a little scavenger hunt to unlock the Mysteries of the Veronica who was? But if I am going to get to the bottom of it, I better get my ass in gear._

 _I've got another session with Dr Holtz next week and if it turns out anything like the last one… I don't want to go. I've been having bad dreams since our first session but we aren't sure if the memories are real and frankly the not knowing is starting to piss me off._

 _I'm starting to figure out why the old me had problems with Logan Echolls, for a guy with that face he sure is a jerk. I'm pretty sure the only reason that kiss is still tumbling around in this broken brain of mine is because it's the only one I can actually remember._

 _No other reason._

Veronica finally put her nerves aside and opened her laptop, she had waited until her father had to work late in the office with his new receptionist/intern Daisy.

Why was pressing the letters into her keyboard making her so anxious?

 _Encase you don't like what you find…_

Her email account was a random cache of photographs and various documents referring to cases that she had no points of reference for.

 _Note to self… keep better records._

The music playlists were mostly indie rock and pop, electro rock and pop, synth pop, shoegaze-y stuff and the photographs ranged from beautiful artistic shots to random license plates and people going about their extra marital nocturnal lives.

She clicked onto a track called The Moments I'm Missing by an artist called Nina Nesbitt, it's like the words felt like her own private joke. She looked through the photographs but a lot of it felt like she might as well have been looking at pictures in a magazine for all the connection she could feel to their content. Even the ones where she was obviously enamoured during her relationship with Duncan Kane and the two of them were wrapped up in one another's arms. It wasn't until she got to the various video files of her and Lilly dancing around her bedroom that she could get a sense of the kind of friendship that they must have had. It was strange to see her but having no recollection of being there.

Lilly had been so full of life, she had this explosive energy, it was easy to see why Neptune missed her and the world felt so much darker without her. She was cheeky and full of sass, how you can go wrong with a hot blonde with gigantic blue eyes?

That's when she found it, hidden in a subfolder labelled baking recipes.

Lilly Kane Murder Investigation.

What was this?

"Dude, I am impressed!" Dick Casablanca's declared as he watched Logan return from his motel room to the beach bar outside where Casey Gant and Troy Vandergraf were waiting. "That girl was so hot I am amazed you didn't have to use tongs to remove her panties" he joked.

"Tijuana was a great idea!" Troy agreed as he passed Logan a beer.

"What can I say? Sometimes you just gotta get out of Neptune" Logan replied simply as he wiped the lip gloss from his mouth and sipped his drink. A weekend away from home was exactly what the doctor had ordered.

Clarita the lovely senorita he had just spent the last hour with had been pleasant company, and she had certainly helped him to get a certain petite blond fellow Neptune High Pirate off his mind… at least for a while.

"It's a shame DK couldn't make it" Troy commented.

"His parents are going up to the Napa house for a few days, they took him along" Logan told him simply.

 _Plus it's the memorial fountain dedication next week, so they want some alone time as a family._

"You sure he's not getting way laid by Veronica?" Dick joked sarcastically.

"Sorry guys but if I had the chance to be way laid by a chick that hot… I'd be making sure she couldn't ever forget me" Troy winked.

"Wow… that lasted like three seconds… you guys sure know how to ruin a guy's night" Logan complained as he drowned the last of his beer and headed off towards the bar again.

"What's his problem?" Troy asked.

"He's not the biggest Veronica fan" Casey explained.

"Yeah I got that the day he introduced her as Trampy McBitch… but I mean come on… the poor girl doesn't even remember half that shit anymore" Troy scoffed.

"I say Hotness is Hotness but it's best to just let this one go Dude" Dick advised him as Casey went off to check if Logan was alright.

He wasn't and he knew it. He missed the old Veronica… he couldn't stop missing her even though he was struggling to accept how attracted he was to the possibility of starting over with none of the baggage between them.

Hadn't part of him wanted something like this? That he could just erase the drama between them and have her back in his life?

Except it wasn't her. He wanted that conflict… he craved that verbal sparring and their little rivalry… he wanted her calling him on his bullshit and her witty remarks. He wanted her in pain like he was because then there was someone else out there who understood what he was going through…

He wasn't alone.


	12. Chapter 12

"You don't think Abel Koontz killed Lilly Kane" Veronica declared as she walked into the small kitchen as Keith Mars stood pouring himself a coffee. It was a statement of fact, not a question.

"It doesn't matter what I think" he sighed.

"How can it not matter? The guy is on death row" she asked incredulously.

"I had really wished that we wouldn't have to get around to discussing this… especially not now when you might finally have a chance…" he said softly.

"A chance to what?" she questioned, folding her arms over her chest.

"A chance to become a normal teenage girl again… I thought it was like the only good thing to come out of all this mess…" Keith confessed sadly.

"Normal?" she spluttered. "We were still investigating Lilly's murder… how can I go back to normal when I know something like that?"

"I used to think that solving the case was the key to our happiness, solve the case and your mother comes home, solve the case and my reputation is restored, solve the case and you could have your life back" he told her as he sat down on the seat at the table.

"And now?" she asked.

"Now I think we just have to make the best of our here and now" Keith told her quietly. "Abel Koontz has already fired his public defender, he's ready to die… this town doesn't care what I think"

"I do" Veronica replied.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _One way or another… the old me wanted to solve this case._

 _I just have to remember how._

 _Spent most of Sunday going through the old newspaper clippings from the time around Lilly Kane's murder. Seems that most of Neptune thought dad was obsessed with trying to pin this on Jake Kane but that press conference video seemed like a father who had genuinely just lost his daughter…one good thing about all this not having any preconceptions of people is that I seem to have a pretty good knack for telling when someone is lying to me. I guess that's what happens when you have to keep judging it something is real or pretend._

 _Jake Kane was telling the truth when he said he didn't kill his daughter but there was something he was covering up, otherwise a professional like dad wouldn't have smelled blood in the water. He wouldn't have risked destroying his home life, losing his house and ruining his marriage over nothing… He'd found something to convince him the Kane's were involved but he wouldn't tell me. Isn't it bad enough I can't remember now he's keeping things from me?_

 _I finally made myself watch that crime scene video. Wallace tells me I was there in person the night her body was discovered, I can almost feel the metallic taste on my tongue._

 _Someone erased Lilly Kane from existence, the split the left side of her skull right open._

 _Logan Echolls might think that both of the girls in that homecoming picture are dead, but one of them is still here… and she's going to find out the truth._

"Morning Supafly! What can I do for you?" Wallace asked as she strolled into the administration office early on Monday.

"I was wondering… could you get me a copy of Lilly Kane's permanent file for me?" she asked quietly and he regarded her strangely. His entire face lit up like she'd just told him she'd told him his favourite basketball team had just won the championship.

"Yeah" he replied, grinning.

"What?" she asked as he stared at her.

"Nothing… just thought I'd lost you there for a minute" he smiled.

She didn't sit with Duncan and the other 09ers that lunch period; she went to the library where she could read through the files that Wallace had given her in peace. She started compiling a list of all the people who were involved in Lilly's life, she began by checking through the yearbooks of people Lilly had known associations with, right up from kindergarten to the clubs and activities she was in until the day she was murdered.

Veronica was confused to find out she used to be Pep Squad, she had trouble imaging herself running around with all that School Spirit. She would have to start finding out more about who was still involved in Lilly's life… who would have had motive to want to hurt her, but she couldn't just stop here. According to the NYPD blue and Law and Order shows she had seen, murder that violent was 95% usually done by someone with close ties to the victim.

That gash on her head? That was a crime of passion… so who could have gotten that close to become passionate about Lilly Kane?

There were resources of course that she could use that would easily give her all this information… compiled by professionals at the helpful Balboa County Sheriffs Department, and Veronica knew her dad.

There is no way a guy got that involved in a murder investigation to the point his wife left him because of the obsession without him keeping copies of the police reports and the medical files someplace close by. There had to be stuff he had stashed somewhere… stuff she needed to find.

"Hello Mars Investigations, how can we help?" a woman's voice asked politely.

"Daisy! Hi.. it's Veronica… is my dad there?" she asked. Her father's intern wasn't that much older than she was, a second year criminology student at Hearst, between her undergrad placement with Cliff McCormack and helping out Keith Mars while Veronica 'recovered' she hadn't been in the office for too long but that could work to her advantage.

"Ummm no… he's heading out of town to get that Runner from Arizona" Daisy replied. "Didn't he call you?"

"Not yet… but since I got you on the phone… How do you feel about grabbing some dinner tonight?" Veronica asked.

"I was going to get some take out and do the rest of the filing… but you are welcome to come down and hang if you want?" Daisy offered.

"I'll bring desert" she smiled.

If there was one thing Daisy would know that she had forgotten… it would be the combination to that ancient safe in her dad's office.


	13. Chapter 13

His parents had been furious when they found out about his little weekend away from home, unfortunately his A-list movie star father Aaron Echolls' latest filming project had had to wrap a little earlier than intended and both he and his mother had returned home early from Chicago to find that Logan was in Mexico and not at home. He'd been shifting uncomfortably in his chair most of the afternoon from the bruises on his ribs. He was pretty sure that he was going to be grounded and that the Homecoming dance next week was not going to happen. Their patience was starting to ware off, there's only so many get out of jail free cards he was going to get over grieving Lilly his father had told him angrily.

The announcement on the schools video system about the dedication of the Lilly Kane memorial fountain that weekend was still weighing on his mind.

"You hit the rocks again?" Duncan observed and he just nodded.

"How was the Napa house?" Logan asked as he stashed his stuff in his bag.

"Aunt Katrina's dog just had puppies… and then I get stuck with THIS" he sighed as he picked the small box out of his locker.

"Video's of Lilly?" Logan asked.

"My mother thought it would be nice to have a tribute video for the dedication ceremony this Friday… they want it to be made by someone who knew her" Duncan explained, but his expression was far away.

"She wanted you to do it?" he questioned gently.

"No my dad did" Duncan told him.

"You want me to do it man? You know I'm great with this kind of stuff…" Logan offered and he saw the conflict in Duncan, he didn't want to do this.

"Come on, let me do it… I wanna do it" Logan assured him and he watched as Duncan sighed in relief.

"Thanks man" he smiled weakly.

"It's not a problem" Logan said as he took the small box of tapes.

The small box of videos made him inexplicably sad… the entire sum of a life, the only things left in the world with the sound of her voice… all the memories trapped inside… but at least the Kane's had these he supposed, at least there were still glimpses of the girl he loved on the screen.

The other one had just vanished and he wasn't sure he would ever see her again.

He was excused from his classes for the next few days by Mr Clemmons but he was invited by Ms James to have another talk if he needed to because of the 'emotional distress the content of the tribute video may cause'

"Hello Logan" Ms James smiled as he came by her office.

"Hey Ms James" he replied simply as he sat down in his usual seat.

"I was just about to make some tea, would you like some?" she offered and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Did I cross the border? Should I be expecting scones?" he joked.

"No… it's just around the time that I usually take my lunch" she smiled. "What can I do for you?"

"You said if I needed to talk…" he explained quietly.

"Certainly.. what is on your mind?" she asked politely.

"Lilly… I haven't been able to get her out of my head lately" he admitted.

"Are you still having the dreams?" Ms James asked gently.

The dreams… the ones where she was screaming at him for not saving Veronica? The ones where it was him who kept finding her body over and over again?

"Not as much now" he lied. "It's just… there's nothing left of either of them. Those videos… there's nothing of the Real Lilly in them, the one I loved… and there's nothing of the Veronica I know left in that girl" he exclaimed angrily. "I mean… the real Veronica certainly wouldn't have kissed me like that.." the words were out before he had realized what he had said.

"Veronica kissed you?" Ms James said in surprise.

"No.. that's what I am saying… _Veronica_ didn't kiss me… that Changeling that everyone calls Veronica and walks and talks like her… kissed me, but that's not her" he ranted.

"You think Veronica is a Changeling?" Ms James asked carefully.

"Not an actual.. changeling… I just mean… she's not the girl I remember" he corrected.

 _Great now he sounded like a crazy person…_

"It sounds to me like you are having a lot of trouble accepting the loss of who you thought they were… but there are many sides to a person Logan… sometimes we just have to learn to accept people for who they are and not who we wish they were" she offered.

 _Didn't she understand? He missed who he KNEW they were… all the rest was just… gone…._

"Where's the fan club?" Logan snorted sarcastically as he slid into his seat beside Madison Sinclair, one of the only few people he spent much time around these days as he waited for her boyfriend Dick to come over with the Chinese delivery.

"Nowhere, Goldilocks has decided that only the chairs in the Library fit Just Right today" she said snidely. Madison hated Veronica, even the new and improved version.

He hadn't spoken to her since Friday afternoon on the beach and inwardly he cursed himself as he made his excuses and left the table. Even when he hated her there was something about her that was like catnip, he just couldn't stay away.

Maybe he was just haunted? So many versions of the girls he knew were getting lost that he just had to be near whatever part of them was left? Maybe he just wanted to _feel_ something?

He was barely near the same table as her when he overheard the tail end of her phone conversation.

"How do you feel about grabbing dinner tonight?" she flirted smiling.

"I'll bring dessert" she added finally before hanging up.

He saw red, his tongue was a weapon and it was locked and loaded.

"Hot date?" he said angrily. _Since when would this have bothered him?_

"Logan?" she jumped, startled as she quickly shut her notebook and slid the papers in front of her into her bag. "How long have you been standing there?" she asked nervously.

"Long enough" he snapped before he turned around to leave.

"It's my dad's assistant" she called out and it seemed to calm him a little. "Did you want something?"

"I've just been thinking.." he exhaled as he leaned back against the bookshelf.

"Did it hurt?" she retorted sarcastically and he frowned at her.

"I was thinking that… I might not have the old you back... but it might be nice to get to know you all over again…" he sighed, before his brown eyes met hers.

 _"did it ever occur to you that I might miss **her**?"_

"That's probably not a good idea" she said shaking her head.

"Why not?" he replied, annoyance clear in his tone.

"Because I am trying to get some clarity and all I can offer at the moment is bits and pieces… and being around you is likely to confuse things" she told him shakily.

 _Was she serious?_

"So you go off on me about not wanting to be near you… then you kiss me and when I tell you I want to try and get to know you again… you don't want me around?" Logan asked angrily.

He could finally understand why some storms were named after people… she could destroy him in the worst way possible. He rolled his eyes and turned to go.

"I am sick of this!" she snapped. "If you have issues Logan, you go and see a shrink! Hot and cold… hot and cold… I have enough problems of my own without worrying about your ego! You aren't the only person who lost something!" she exclaimed, her breathing was ragged now and several other people had stopped what they were doing to look in their direction. Noticing their little audience she grabbed her bag and stormed out of the room.

"You can't just keep running away from me when you don't like what I have to say" he told her as he followed her.

"Yeah? Watch me" she said sarcastically.

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her around until she was pressed against the row of lockers beside them as he captured her mouth with his. He had to relieve the tension that had been bubbling up inside him ever since he'd felt something akin to jealousy at the thought of her arranging a date. The kiss had been quick and impulsive and he wanted to press her against the lockers and grab those slim hips in his hands and hold her against his body. She resisted at first, then her mouth opened against his and her arms went around his neck while she stood on her tiptoes.

The bell rang and he pulled away breathing heavily as other students began to filter into the hallway but his eyes never left hers. The rest of the passers-by were oblivious to their stolen moment and she finally slipped away down the corridor away from him.

 _Why was he being so reckless?_


	14. Chapter 14

""I'm gonna drive you home" Logan declared as he stood beside Meg's car as school let out and Veronica felt her heart pause for several beats. What was it about being around this particular guy that got her into such a flutter?

 _She might not be the same Veronica… but he wanted her to be around…_

"I'm not going home" Veronica told him, her eyes were so wide they wanted to water.

"Well then I'll drive you wherever, we need to talk" he said persistently and she regarded him carefully. His honey brown eyes were locked on her and she knew from his expression that he wouldn't relent; he'd probably carry her to his car if she refused.

 _He needed to know exactly what these feelings are…_

Veronica cast a look at Meg who was watching the little exchange and nodded.

"You sure?" she asked.

"Yeah… I'm sure Logan can keep his hands to himself" Veronica replied before adjusting her backpack over her shoulder and walking towards the yellow SUV.

 _I wouldn't bet on it though…_

"I'm sorry…" he said earnestly when they got his car and the admission took her by surprise. "About earlier"

"So that's not a regular thing you do when you argue with someone?" she asked but nothing in her body or her brain was working this second as he stood so close to her.

"As a rule… no" he admitted.

 _Not until I couldn't stop thinking about those lips…_ he thought distractedly.

What was he doing? Getting alone into his car with her? _He really was going crazy…_

"Somehow that is not comforting" she told him calmly but her pulse was racing.

Logan stepped closer to her and Veronica could feel the heat of his body, her skin prickled in anticipation as he reached forwards and opened the car door behind her.

"Do you know where I am going to take you?" he asked huskily.

 _Anywhere?_

"Ummm Mars Investigations?" she answered quietly a his hand grazed her hip and her breathing quickened.

"You have to stop looking at me like that" he whispered as his fingers traced the small exposed bit of skin between her t shirt and jeans.

 _Misplaced priorities… she was wanting his warm hands on her body but she had a murder to solve…._

He was sizing her up, his brown eyes lingered their gaze over her face, her body like he was truly appreciating everything in front of him for the first time. Her body reacted and it felt like muscle memory, like an imprint and her over excited hormones just wouldn't calm down.

"Then stop staring…" she retorted as their breaths intermingled.

Logan wanted to cup her face and kiss her again but he couldn't they needed to talk this through.

"Get in the car" he told her simply and stepped back.

"Okay" Veronica replied as she reached behind her and closed the passenger side door and walked to the rear door climbed into the back seat. "You coming?" she asked finally.

 _The two of them alone… in the back seat of his car?_

"Only when the situation calls for it." He answered as he ran his hand through his hair. "Do you even know what are you doing?" _Do you even understand what you are asking?_

"My dads office is only 10 minutes from here, and I am not having you yell at me while you are driving… you want to talk… get in and we can talk" she reasoned.

 _Plus there's less prying eyes back here…_

"I wasn't going to yell" he argued and she raised her eyebrows. "So what we can't talk in the front?"

"You want to sit in the front?" she asked. Grateful to have his piercing eyes off her face for a moment, Veronica watched as he thought about how to answer her question.

"No" he sighed. _What was he thinking?_

Veronica slid over and he climbed into the back seat with her. He watched as she bit her lip nervously, hugging her arms across her chest while she looked at him.

 _It had been almost a year since Lilly's murder… and he had dated… but he'd never truly wanted something since then… until now.._

Logan was about to give into the impulse as he reached over cupping her face… he was about to kiss her when she floored him with her next question.

"Do you think Abel Koontz killed Lilly?" she asked quickly.

Hadn't this been the only good part about her lack of memory… that this argument between them was over?

"This again?" he sighed as he slumped back down into the seat.

 _History repeating itself…_

"So that is why we stopped speaking before.." she commented quietly.

"That's part of it" he said as he glared out the window. Suddenly the back of the car was too small a space to be trapped with her.

"Then explain it to me…" she pleaded.

"Explain it?" he asked incredulously as he looked back into her expressive blue eyes.

"Your version… tell me" she asked. "I need to know why…"

 _Why did I lose you the first time?_

"You never told me… I asked you to help me convince your dad that Jake Kane was innocent… and you told me to go to Hell" Logan told her.

"You said I abandoned my friends" Veronica sighed.

"Yeah… I did" Logan agreed.

"We must have been pretty close…" she said quietly.

"We used to be" he told her.

"I'm sorry Logan… for not being here for you… after everything" Veronica told him sincerely as she interlaced her fingers with his.

"Meg told me that the last thing you remember before you passed out… was that you missed me" he asked carefully as he looked her in the eyes finally.

"That and a feeling" she nodded.

"You got a name for it yet?" he asked.

"Heartbroken?" she suggested and she watched as a tear fell from his brown eyes.

"Mine too" he whispered as he pulled her over to his side of the car to straddle him as their lips collided.


	15. Chapter 15

(Song for this Scene – Dodie – Sick of Losing Soulmates)

Something in his chest shifted, he could feel it release like he'd just let go of this weight he hadn't known he was carrying and Logan pulled Veronica tighter to his body, her lips as hungry as his as they kissed each other.

 _She was sorry… all that anger he'd felt evaporated… he'd been heartbroken for so long…_

This lust was in a league unlike anything he'd experienced before and he gasped as her mouth moved to trail kisses down his neck. The feel of her so hot and eager in his arms was overwhelming and he could feel the warmth of her as the weight of her petite pressed against him as he felt himself stiffening uncomfortably, he ached for her.

 _He'd been so lonely…_

He pulled her mouth back to his and they continued their feverish explorations and he ran his hands along her thighs and squeezed her ass, his thumbs slipped into the belt loops in her jeans, holding her in place. He didn't trust himself not to run his hands under her shirt and try to start undressing her.

Veronica moaned happily and gripped onto Logan's shoulders for support as he began to kiss along her collarbone and up to her neck. She was dizzy from his kisses. She felt spellbound, lost in the sensations of how good his masculine body felt pressed against hers, he wanted her. It felt like a fire that was drawing them together and he almost came undone when she looked at him with that blatant arousal blazing in her blue eyes.

 _"I'm sorry Logan… for not being here for you…."_

Hadn't he spent countless nights dreaming that she would say that to him over the last year? If Logan had been completely honest with himself. He'd always been jealous of Duncan, he'd seen the way Veronica had looked at him, he'd seen how they been with one another… the sheer certainty of that adoration and complete simplicity of it. Lilly had liked to play games… she always made him doubt her feelings… she'd toy with him until he felt like he was going insane… she kept him jealous and on edge because it had thrilled her to be wanted… chased… being with her was like trying to surf a violent sea, didn't matter how skilled you navigated that wave… she'd find a way to tear you up. Veronica love had always seemed like the eye of the storm but Duncan never had to worry if her feelings were real. He'd always known where he stood with her and when he'd broken it off, Logan had thought he was crazy. He'd have given anything to really be wanted and belong to someone like that… to be important to someone.

 _God she feels so good…_

He nibbled on her ear, running his hands along her back and she began to tremble, whimpering, perhaps the advantage was unfair. Duncan had talked about her preferences with him once before when they had been getting pretty hammered and this one detail had stuck out, she had an erogenous zone just behind her ear and kissing it would make her all floaty and turn her on.

 _What was he doing…? Duncan was his best friend…_

Logan felt her fingers tighten around his shoulders imagining how much better they would feel if her nails were digging into his back and he were kissing her with her petite body clenched around him, the thought almost did him in and he broke away panting.

"I can't…" he gasped.

"Why?" she protested, her blue eyes begging him to continue.

"I don't want to take advantage…" he sighed.

"You aren't… I want this too" she assured him.

"You think you do.. but …" he trailed off as she brushed a kiss along his jaw and captured his lips again.

 _But you don't know everything…_

"Relax Logan… I'm not expecting a marriage proposal" she teased and she instinctively pressed her hips to his again.

"Then what are you expecting exactly?" he asked as he breathed heavily, his brown eyes pouring into her like liquid chocolate.

"A ride…" she whispered in his ear as her hand trailed down his torso and he felt his pulse racing. Logan felt his breath catch in his throat as she reached her hand down between them. "to my dad's office" she said picking up the keys and jingled them.

"Go to homecoming with me" he told her quickly and she looked at him in surprise the dance was next week and the words were out before he even realized what that would mean.

"Ummm… I already have a date" she replied quietly.

 _She was sitting in the back seat of his car straddling him… and she was dating someone else?_

"With who?" he asked carefully.

"Troy Vandergraf? He asked me this morning… it's just a friends thing…" Veronica explained. "I'm sorry…" she said softly as she looked at the disappointment on his face.

"It's fine…" he said casually.

 _No it wasn't…_ he felt strangely competitive… possessive

"Duncan said you didn't like school dances… not since…" Veronica continued.

"I don't" he admitted.

 _But I'd go with you…._

"We should probably talk about this…" she suggested as she cupped his face and kissed him.

"Probably" he agreed as he twisted in his seat and laid her down onto the backseat beneath him, the weight of his body pressing against her as their lusty, pleasure-bent hungry explorations continued until he had to pull himself away, fighting for control. He wanted to hold her closer… until they were naked, spent and satisfied.

"Poor Troy" she sighed biting her lower lip that was slightly swollen from his kisses. "He's going to have to get himself another date…" and she watched as Logan broke out into a happy grin. "I think that's the first time you've ever smiled at me" she observed.

"No it isn't" he replied as he kissed her forehead, tucking a few strands of her ruffled blond hair behind her ear.

 _What was he doing? He should know better than this…_

He was an animal, acting on his baser instincts. The pleasure principle. He was making some very self-destructive choices right now and he was dragging her down with him, but he knew he didn't want this to be temporary.


	16. Chapter 16

The Mars Investigations Office was a small repurposed studio of what used to be ministerial apartments that had been bought over by a development firm for commercial use when the residential area became less favourable after the wealth distribution of its congregation went from a healthy diverse populous to a town without the middle class. The have not's had slowly watched the 03 side of town slip from family neighbourhoods into a seedy strip mall. Or at least, that's how Keith Mars had explained it to Veronica.

The legacy from this ministerial background was the stained glass windows and impressive views, what had once been prime real estate was now under threat from demolition if it hadn't been for the several small businesses determined to scrap out a living for their families. Daisy Blossom, her father's intern, was in the small office kitchen when Veronica arrived and the radio was cranked up blaring out Eagle-eyed Cherry – Save Tonight.

"I got us some Lamb madras and Vegetarian Balti from Babylon Gardens" Daisy smiled as Veronica finally arrived at the office.

"Anyone ever tell you that you look like Tristin Mays?" Veronica smiled as she saw Daisy pull her long black hair into a messy bun.

"Only nearly every time a guy tries to hit on me" she laughed.

"I brought us some ice-cream and chocolate sauce" Veronica told her as she put the small bag into the fridge.

"I've been thinking about ice-cream all day… the air-conditioning unit in here broke this afternoon, of course now it's starting to get cold… so you can't really win" she smiled as she pulled out a few plates.

"How are you settling in?" Veronica asked quietly as she walked over to the small air-conditioning unit. Running her hands around the edges, flicked a switch and gave it a small tap on the right hand side, it jolted a little and a small hum of warm air began to flow out.

"Huh…" Daisy mused. "Guess there's a knack to that thing after all" handing Veronica a fork.

"I don't know how I knew that" she smiled back.

"Memory is a funny thing" Daisy told her as she returned to the other seat at the desk with some sodas. "I assume that's why you came down?" she asked softly.

"Yeah… I just wanted to be in familiar surroundings… without the pressure… try and see if it could trigger something" Veronica agreed.

 _…and get into the safe._

"Yeah I know what you mean… your dad is great… but he does seem a tad…" Daisy commented.

"Overprotective?" she suggested.

"Yeah" and the two exchanged a small smile. "Well, you picked a good night.. because I was for going down to the basement to drag that old radiator up if that heater hadn't been working" Daisy joked.

The two girls ate their food and exchanged stories of Keith Mars and Daisy showed her around the office a little more. Parts of it came to her instinctually and she even took over the phone for a little while, noting down the relevant systems and passwords for future sleuthing on her own at home.

"So you are studying criminology?" Veronica asked as she washed the small plates in the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm a forensics major" Daisy confirmed. "I know… I don't look like someone who would be spending their time in a lab coat" she joked.

"How did you get involved with Cliff?" Veronica asked.

"My roommate's Mom and Cliffy used to have a _thing_ a few years ago" she explained as she dried the coffee cups and put them back in the cupboard. There wasn't a lot of space in the small kitchen, so it had to be kept clean. "He's cool… a bit… eccentric but I got into some trouble with campus police a few months back and he helped me out"

"He's good at that" Veronica smiled before she passed her the final plate. "Can I ask a random question?"

"Tattoos are a bad idea before College and I am not telling you where I got mine" Daisy joked.

"It's more a crime question" Veronica admitted.

"Okay… you thinking about breaking the law?" she asked.

"No… I was just wondering about Crimes of Passion" Veronica told her. "How you could tell from like evidence.."

"Like from a crime scene?" Daisy said raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah" Veronica prompted.

"I guess… it's because it feels more extreme? Like someone went beyond what was necessary… it feels personal?" Daisy explained uncomfortably.

"Like blunt force trauma to the head and smashing in someone's skull?" Veronica asked.

"Is this about your friend?" Daisy sighed and the radio switched to play What I Am by Edie Blackwell.

"I've just been thinking about it, my school has a memorial this Friday.. I'm just trying to understand why it happened" Veronica admitted.

"Maybe somethings are best forgotten" Daisy advised.

"Could you let it go?" Veronica asked simply.

"Probably not" Daisy smiled.

"There's a case file in my dad's safe.." Veronica said quietly, her blue eyes boring into Daisy's.

"And you want to have a look" Daisy sighed.

"I just… would feel better knowing all the facts" Veronica told her, her tone was pleading.

Daisy looked at the petite blond in front of her and hung her head in defeat. She knew what it was like to be unable to let a mystery go, her high school boyfriend Gustavio Toomes had gone missing after a rivalry with the Fitzpatrick's during their senior year and his body had never been found. It was part of what had drawn Daisy to the forensics field in the first place, trying to track down any possible trace… and if she couldn't trying to get the proof to help someone else get justice.

"You aren't going to let this go are you?" Daisy commented and she shook her head. "Okay… but I wasn't involved in this" she relented and the two girls went to office safe and Daisy left her alone to review the files.

She took photographs of the relevant documents and they put them back.

Daisy lingered over the last picture of Lilly Kane's body and Veronica regarded her carefully.

"Whoever did this… they were close like a lover…. but it was more than just personal… this was rage… desperate" she said before handing the photo back to Veronica and wrapping her arms around herself.

The words made Veronica shudder.

 _They were close like a lover… like say a boyfriend?_


	17. Chapter 17

Dinner at the Echolls family house was usually a solo affair, except for the days that his father wanted to boast about his latest project or talk about the newest press worthy event he was planning. Logan sat quietly eating the linguini that Nadia Alonso the families personal chef had dutifully prepared for him instead of the Bouillabaisse that his mother and father were having. Thankfully his adopted sister Trina was still in Santa Monaco, California working on a small role for an independent Lions Gate Entertainment project, it was a straight to DVD affair but at least it got her out of the house.

"How was school son?" Aaron Echolls enquired as he smiled at Logan.

"Informative" Logan retorted. "The whiteboards were remarkable."

"Well I've booked our rooms for the San Diego Whale Watching Exhibition Cruise, so we leave Thursday next week" Lynn announced and Logan looked at his mother, he'd forgotten about the trip.

"The Homecoming dance is next Friday" he replied quietly.

"Since when do you care about school functions?" his father asked as he sipped his wine, frowning.

"I-I usually don't but…" Logan sputtered as his pulse quickened.

"But?" Aaron insisted, suspicion clear in his tone.

"How silly of me! Of course sweetheart… if you have a date, that's great!" Lynn smiled her brown eyes widened in surprise, she seemed genuinely pleased by the news.

"Do you?" his father asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah… it's just a friend but… I was going to go…" he said shyly.

"Who is the lucky girl?" his mother asked as she sipped on her wine.

"Veronica" Logan admitted and he felt his skin tingle at the memory of her laying beneath him earlier.

"Oh honey! That's wonderful… I am so happy you two are friends again" Lynn smiled happily

"Yeah, it's been a long time" Logan agreed.

"Well... just don't have to get driven home in the back of a police car like last time" Aaron warned him.

"Don't worry… Mr Mars is big on responsibility… he will be expecting her home at a decent hour" Logan told him.

"Smart man" his father sighed before he poured himself another glass.

Logan stared at the two of them quietly eating their meals in silence, his parents had been happy for almost twenty years… then they met each other.

Sleep didn't come easily that night, he kept feeling the ghost of Veronica's lips touching his, the taste of her in his mouth, he had the scent of her perfume on his shirt, their little make out session earlier had left an imprint in his mind that wasn't going away. He ached wanting to feel her body beneath him, to have those slim legs wrapped around him.

He was playing with fire and he knew it, Duncan would find out about their date soon… was he getting Veronica back only to lose his best friend?

 _Since when did he have so much trouble keeping his hands off of her?_

He wasn't mad at her anymore and part of him felt like a limb was missing when she wasn't there even though it seemed even this newer version of Veronica still had a tendency to have them bite each other's heads off on occasion.

 _There's a fine line between love and hate._

The thought that he might be falling for her twisted like a knot in his gut… how could he be doing this to Lilly? He still had to finish that memorial tribute video... Wasn't it bad enough he had failed to protect her? Now he was fooling around with her best friend?

 _Dear Diary,_

 _First of all… Indian food followed by almost two pints of ice-cream is a terrible idea. The files I managed to get out of dad's office about the Lilly Kane case seem to have filled in a lot of the timeline, according to the police records, the Kane's all have alibi's for the time of the murder… so does Logan, which is a relief, it would certainly make homecoming a bit awkward._

 _I'm pretty sure locking lips with your best friends murderer breaks the Girl Code that Meg keeps mentioning. Which would be bad… since we can't seem to keep our hands off of each other. He looks at me with those eyes and I feel like I am going to come undone, there's these shivers up and down my spine. It feels electric._

 _I've managed to sort of work my way around those systems Daisy was showing me, background checks etc, insurance information… I'm not sure what it's going to be useful for but it seems I'm starting to pick up little bits like muscle memory or something. I have my next session with Dr Holtz tomorrow afternoon for some more RMT. Fun times but maybe I can ask about how I knew about that heater thing earlier?_

 _Weevil Navarro is also mentioned… but I don't know why unless he was considered a person of interest? Dad still isn't home and I have been studying up on this whole witness interrogation stuff… seems people tend to remember things of significance, like where they were when JFK was shot and things like that… so maybe tomorrow I can use this fountain dedication to ask some questions about the day Lilly Kane was murdered and compare notes with what the police records tell me?_

 _I still don't know why someone like Abel Koontz would confess to something he didn't do… it makes no sense!_

Veronica opened up her laptop and started to google common reasons that people would lie… Sex, Power and Money seemed to be pretty popular. He wasn't getting any sexy time in the big house… at least not the kind a lifelong heterosexual guy would want, and death row was not going to make you very powerful… which left Money, but what good was all that money if you weren't going to be around to spend it? The anonymous tip led law enforcement to search the home of Abel Koontz, an ex-employee of Kane Software, but the reward money was never collected. No one was that good a person.

She wanted to believe that Keith Mars was right… to have faith that there was more to this obsession that seemed to have consumed her life before she'd lost her memories, but so far, she hadn't found any evidence to prove that Lilly's death was anything more than what they said.

Start at the source… that seemed to be the way to go… when you tied yourself in knots… go back to the beginning… and this all began with Lilly Kane.

Veronica opened up the Private Eye systems on her computer and imputed her details and began to cross off everything on her small list of information she already had as it appeared on the screen. Then she found it, unpaid parking tickets and a moving violation in Lilly Kane's name dated October 3rd… the day she had died.

How had these not been in her father's files?

But of course… why would they be? Who was going to run an insurance check on a dead girl after her alleged murderer had confessed?

How could she get a copy of that ticket?


	18. Chapter 18

"Morning Wallace" Veronica smiled as she entered the Neptune High School parking lot, carrying the small box of Homecoming Sweetheart Pins she had made the night before, there was a plan and she needed his help.

"Wow… you drove yourself to school today?" he exclaimed in surprise as he saw her familiar black convertible parked up beside the school bus.

"Yeah, my dad took me out over the weekend and he's pretty happy that I know my way around now… at least enough to trust letting me out of the house. If I didn't have my appointment this afternoon and he wasn't working, I don't think he would have let me though" she explained as they fell into step beside each other.

"That's right… brain training, how's that going?" he asked cautiously.

"Frustrating… I wish it was as simple as I put an Out of my Mind, back in 5 minutes sign up.. but I just let mine wander and it didn't come back" she joked.

"I wish you would forget how to make those Amnesia jokes" he laughed.

"You say that like you are suffering Sodapop" she joked and she watched as his expression changed. "What?"

"You just called me Sodapop…" Wallace told her.

"So?" she frowned.

"You used to do that all the time" he said raising his eyebrows at her.

"Yeah… little things like that have been happening recently" she admitted.

"Little things… like what?" he prompted.

"Like knowing how to make my dad's coffee without being told? Fixing the heater in the office… and there was some stuff I remembered in class… just little things" she told him.

"It's a start" he smiled.

"Yeah… so you better watch out encase you lose your Basketball buddy" she grinned and froze as she caught Logan's smouldering stare trained on her from across the parking lot. She'd been dreaming last of their time together in the back of his car yesterday and a blush crept up into her cheeks.

"Never gonna happen Supafly… I saw you cheering!" he laughed.

"You mean you saw _Meg_ cheering… in her uniform…" Veronica teased.

"Oh come on! What are we on Gilmore Girls?" he complained.

"You should just ask her…." Veronica told him.

"To Homecoming? I ain't no 09er… you seen the kind of guys I have to compete with" He protested as Veronica placed the box of pins into her locker and fumbled with the small spy bugs in her handbag.

"And yet... she spends all our gym sessions talking about how great you look in your basketball outfit" Veronica teased.

"That's playing dirty" he said.

"And how great you look running around the court…" she giggled.

"Girl, you are teasing me!" Wallace groaned.

"What big strong arms you have… all the better to whisk me away to the dance!" she smiled dramatically. "Be brave Wallace… make a move" she winked before walking off towards Mac and Meg who were waiting for her.

"What was all that about?" Mac giggled.

"Life coaching…" she said conspiratorially. "Hey can I ask you guys a favour?"

"Sure" Mac and Meg replied in unison.

"I found a video tape at home… of Lilly, my dad says it's from Homecoming last year… since I can't remember having been there.. I was curious. Is there something around here that might fit this so I could watch it?" Veronica explained holding up the small video cassette.

"I think the AV club has a camcorder that would work" Meg said as she examined the small tape.

"I think there's equipment in the Media lab to turn it digital… but it's on loan for this week" Mac explained. "But I am sure whoever is using it won't mind helping you out"

"Cool" she smiled as they headed into class.

Veronica scanned the halls for her intended targets for today. She had to be strategic about this, it couldn't look like she was digging... hence the video. Get everyone nostalgic, play on the whole brain injury thing.

Weevil Navarro, leader of the schools PCH motorcycle gang.

Duncan Kane and the school's soccer team from last year.

Cassidy and Dick Casablanca's and a few of the other 09ers.

They had information she wanted and didn't have... and who better to get them talking than the most self-absorbed Gossip Queens of Neptune high?

"Hey Madison" Veronica smiled as she slipped into the seat beside her in Mr Rooks history class.

"Hi" she replied coldly before she shifted seats and went to sit beside Pam and Dick. Student's in Neptune High tended to move in a similar fashion to those animals on the documentaries her father made her watch. Each group had it's own little ecosystem, and she was going to infiltrate them one way or another… the first phase. Observation, then tagging, with the occasional catch and release.

"Veronica… I've set up the equipment for your video in the computer lab" Mac smiled as she approached her at the lunch table.

"Thanks Mac" she smiled gratefully.

"Video file?" Troy asked curiously.

"Just an old tape I found…" Veronica replied quietly as she cast a nervous glance at Duncan. Apparently she'd been his date to Homecoming last year; she dreaded to think what she would find.

"Yeah? Anything good?" Natalie asked, she was vice chair on the school student council.

"Not sure yet" she answered as she played with her salad.

"Well if it's the winning lottery numbers, I want in" Troy flirted, for someone she had told she wasn't going to the dance with, he had taken the news very well.

"How are the dedication ceremony preparations coming?" Veronica asked Natalie. "Anything I can do to help?" she offered.

"You could come by home economics after school and help with the baking if you want?" Natalie beamed.

"Sure" Veronica smiled.

"I'll see you guys later" Duncan said quietly before he left and went back inside the school building.

"Is everything okay?" she asked Troy.

"He's just a little preoccupied with the whole dedication" he explained.

"It must be awful… anniversaries are hard" Meg sighed.

"Part of me is just glad I can't remember" Veronica declared.

"Yeah? I wish I could… I have never seen my mom so upset" Natalie told her. "She's the one who organised the car wash fundraiser the day Lilly was murdered"

"Wasn't that at Ryan's dads place?" Meg asked.

"Yea" she nodded.

"What was at Ryan's dad's place?" Cassidy Casablanca's asked as he slid into the seat next to Mac at the table and smiled shyly as he took a piece of pizza.

"The car wash the day Lilly was killed" Troy told him and Cassidy shifted uncomfortably.

"Do we have to talk about this at the table?" May asked.

"It's hard to believe it's almost been a year" Natalie sighed. "It feels like yesterday I was just in getting my pedicure with Kimmy and Alicia when we got the call"

"It's just so awful" May agreed.

"I can't remember what I was doing" Veronica joked.

"You are lucky" Natalie assured her.

"Weren't you there though?" May asked her.

"Amnesia, remember?" Dick joked as he joined them at the table. "Weren't she where?"

"At the Kane's the night Lilly Kane was murdered" Natalie explained.

"So I hear… I was in Mexico with Logan and Beaves" he said loudly as he took the unopened soda that was sitting in front of Cassidy and stole one of his fries.

"Come on.." Cassidy complained as his older brother took his drink.

"Trust me though… that is not something that you _want_ to remember" May told Veronica earnestly.


	19. Chapter 19

"It's all set up in here" Mac told Veronica as she led her into the small computer lab before she headed off to her next class. She should have been heading to the Phys Ed but she wanted to get a look at what was on this tape and to go over some of her notes in peace before she joined Natalie and Pam after school.

Dick and Cassidy Casablanca's had confirmed the information she had found out about Logan and she felt relieved, she just had to figure out how to get close enough to Weevil to ask about why the Sheriff's Department had been so interested in talking to him during the murder investigation.

 _Maybe there was something in his permanent file?_

"Come on Mom, how many braless years do I have left?" Lilly giggled from the screen as she pranced around in a very revealing gold sparkling dress and Veronica smiled sadly as the images of their homecoming night filled the screen, they didn't ever seem to make it to the dance.

"Ok I have never… gone skinny dipping" Veronica declared and she watched as the younger version of herself sipped her champagne.

"What are you doing?" Logan demanded as he stood over her shoulder.

"Logan.." she said in surprise.

"I said… what are you doing?" he repeated, an angry edge to his voice as his eyes remained entranced by the screen.

"Watching…" Veronica explained as she pointed at the small cassette tape.

"Where did you get this?" he asked as he watched the couples on the screen kissed, his arms wrapped around Lilly.

"I found it.. at home…" she said quietly. "I'm sorry.." Veronica told him as she stood up to see the hurt expression in his eyes.

"Who let you in here?" he demanded.

"The door was open… I asked Mr Clemmons…" she explained but something in his body language told her that it was just best to end the conversation as soon as possible.

"Get out…" he told her firmly.

 _Lilly…_

"Logan… I'm sorry.." Veronica said softly as she stepped forwards to hug him.

"Just leave… please.. just go…" he said backing away from her and she sighed, picking up her bag and turned and left.

He wanted to go after her and apologize but he was immobilized by the smiling face of his dead girlfriend on the screen... of the sight of Veronica and Duncan kissing on the beach… of the memories of that night reaching into his chest and crushing him. Logan had been looking at images of Lilly for the last two days, but this was the first time he had seen something that truly captured her essence… and the absence of her swallowed him… but Veronica wouldn't understand this… she had no connection to these memories.

 _I was an ass… I'm sorry. L_

Veronica found the note in her locker after 7th period.

Logan was planning to speak to her after school, he had overreacted. He wanted to return her video, they hadn't shared any of the same classes this afternoon but when he left he couldn't find her car in the school parking lot.

Dr Holtz office was chilly despite the blazing sun outside and Veronica slouched in her chair while she waited for him to come back with her latest scans and blood results.

"Dr Carrengton tells me that you think you are having some recall" he said as he took up his seat.

"Just some small things" Veronica confirmed.

"This is good news… has there been anything new in your routine that you can think of may be prompting these occurrences?" he asked.

"Not really" Veronica replied. "Is there anything that could be triggering these?"

 _Anything other than possibly making out with Logan Echolls?_

"Episodes like this, according to your latest scan could be the result of brain chemistry.. we are noticing some elevated levels of vasopressin and dopamine" he explained as he looked at her chart.

"So can we treat it?" she asked.

"I would be reluctant at this stage to artificially interfere, but it could be a good strategy for in a few months from now if they don't occur again" Dr Holtz assured her. "Shall we begin?"

"Can we skip the hypnosis?" Veronica asked. "I've been having trouble sleeping since the last time" she admitted.

"Of course... have you been experiencing any other symptoms? Flashbacks?" he asked.

"No" she lied.

"Well then, continue taking the Clobazam and Frisium and we will see you next week" Dr Holtz smiled as he handed her the prescription.

Veronica arrived back at the school about forty minutes after the final bell, just as the school student council meeting finished for the day and she was greeted by Natalie and Kimmy.

"You want to grab the last boxes?" Natalie asked as she pointed at the small boxes that the arts and crafts department had contributed.

"Sure" Veronica smiled and followed them towards the home economics kitchens.

They spent the next two hours mixing up cake batter and making snickerdoodles and cookies for the Homecoming fundraiser, it was a fun afternoon and they chatted about their dates and where to buy their dresses. They also shared some of their stories from where various students had been during the day of Lilly Kane's murder.

"So I hear you turned down Troy Vandergraff?" Natalie asked.

"I've decided to go with a friend instead" she smiled. "Or at least I had… I'm not sure if it's still on… I don't even have a dress yet"

"Well we will have to fix that!" May exclaimed, her red curls bobbing around her cute heart shaped face as she fixed her green eyes on Veronica with determination.

"I hear Pam Dalton is going with Duncan Kane" Madison Sinclair announced loudly and glanced in Veronica's direction.

"Actually I think he was going with Faith Schultz" Natalie corrected.

"Oh…" she replied snidely before she carried another tray of spirit cookies into the other room where the other cheerleaders were helping to pack them into the boxes.

"I'm sorry if she bothered you" Natalie apologized to Veronica.

"It doesn't bother me" she smiled genuinely.

"No? Good! Now about this dress of yours…" May declared as she began to make arrangements to meet Veronica the following afternoon to go shopping with her along with Natalie and Meg.


	20. Chapter 20

The small Homecoming Pins were placed in the administration office and most of the student body were buying them for their intended dates, a select few had some special properties in the form of small bugs that would transmit wirelessly to a receiver stashed in the schools trophy case for the next few days. An unsuspecting Daisy had helped Veronica to set them up and she had used some Youtube tutorials to create some of her own low tech versions to hide in the pins.

"I am denying all knowledge of this" Wallace declared.

"All knowledge of what?" Veronica asked innocently as she smiled and handed him the list of students who needed the bugs.

She had found a fake ID of a driver's license with Lilly Kane's name on it but her photograph tucked into a book in her bedroom the night before and it gave her an idea, she could use it to try and get a copy of that unpaid parking ticket. Best to wait until she could figure out who in the Sheriff's department knew her real identity… the weekend perhaps?

Keith Mars had seemed genuinely excited that his daughter was going to be spending the afternoon dress shopping with some friends 'like a regular teenage girl' although, Veronica would much rather have been trying to figure out ways to get more information on Eli "Weevil" Navarro.

The note Logan had left in her locker yesterday had been a start, but she wasn't ready to speak to him yet. He was right… they needed to talk about whatever this thing was between them. She might feel certain things around him, but she didn't really know him very well and one thing was for sure. She wasn't going to allow anyone to treat her like that.

"Hey" Logan said as he finally caught up to her outside their Newspaper class later that morning.

"Hi" Veronica said reluctantly, not quite looking at him as she crossed her arms across her chest when he blocked her path.

"I'm sorry" he apologized earnestly his brown eyes searching her face. "That video caught me off guard…" he explained quietly.

"You could have said something… instead you just…" she rasped in disbelief as she turned to walk into class but he grabbed her arm and she glared at him.

"I know.." he sighed and held out the small tape and a disk.

"What's…?" she asked as took the disk and her blue eyes finally met his.

"A digital copy of the video… I hope you don't mind that I used a few of the clips for Lilly's Tribute video" he answered quietly. It was unexpected and the gesture caught her off-guard.

"Thank you" she replied as she slipped it into her bag along with the cassette tape.

"I really am sorry…" he repeated. _I behaved like a total jackass…_

"It's okay, I understand…" she nodded.

 _She couldn't really but he'd had no right to take it out on her._

"The Memorial is tomorrow and it's just dragging up a lot of stuff" he admitted and the exhausted slump in his shoulders softened her anger. Veronica didn't say anything she just stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled him closer to her and just held him for a moment.

"You okay?" Veronica asked finally.

"Are we?" he asked carefully.

"We better be because I have a very eager May McConnell wanting to go shopping for Homecoming dresses" she jested, trying to break the tension.

"If you still want to go…" he replied his brown eyes staring into hers.

 _I know I screwed up but please say yes…._

"Yeah… we can talk about it later" she agreed as she stepped away from him and walked into class.

Logan sighed in relief as he watched the petite blond turn and head to her desk in the Navigator journalism office.

"Hey Man" Duncan said as he sat down in the seat next to Logan's.

"Hey…" Logan replied. "I finished the video"

"Cool, thanks" Duncan sighed in relief as he took the small disk from him.

"Celeste will love it" Logan told him. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" he said as he turned to face him.

"Not here… after school?" Logan replied.

"Yeah… come by my place after final bell?" Duncan offered.

"Okay.." he agreed.

 _How exactly do you tell your best friend that you want to date his ex?_


	21. Chapter 21

Veronica was running through his mind during most of the rest of his classes as Logan weighed up the pros and cons of a relationship with her. It had been approximately six weeks since this new version of her had been in his life and he felt like a pawn in some cosmic game. He'd been so bitter for the longest time and the way she looked at him still felt too good to be real, she was so tender with him and he was unable to resist it. Those blue eyes were like comets and they were going to bury him deep in this love he felt growing for her. The worst of him didn't want to.

 _He was scrambling for some kind of answer to this conflict._

That anger he had felt during this last year had left him with an ignorant sense of safety, he had lost that part of himself when Lilly had died, he had been sure of it. Now he was watching the crumbling walls of defence descend around him. That guarded stance hadn't developed overnight. It was long process born of disappointment and her betrayal; it was a wound that got stronger every time it healed from being ripped back open. He'd been so afraid to let someone back in, so afraid someone else would leave.

 _But she had always been here…_

She'd caught him off guard with that kiss and now he just wanted to belong to her.

Logan knew what it was to really fall in love with someone. It wasn't frivolous or lustful. Although he did crave her physically in a way that made him feel like he was going to lose control when she was around. It wasn't selfish. It was real. It was real because Veronica, and only Veronica, was worth that free-fall into the unknown… and the way she made him feel… he knew she'd catch him… they'd catch each other.

Veronica had always been a drug for him… when he had her attention the world had colours again, even when all they did was snarl at one another… he felt more alive doing that than he did doing just about anything else, it felt really cliché but it was the only way he could describe it.

They didn't have the most healthy start… he knew that… but that didn't mean that they couldn't build something from that struggle. He still didn't know what had possessed him to ask her to the homecoming dance… he still missed the way she used to be with her quips and her sassy attitude, but if their arguments recently proved anything, that side of her wasn't entirely gone.

The drive to Duncan's house had been one of the longest in his life and Logan was almost going to back out. He hated this house… Lilly had died here. Especially after he had seen that video of the four of them yesterday, it all felt rawer somehow. The Dedication Ceremony felt like they had been speaking about commissioning it a few weeks ago and now it was a year later and it was being unveiled.

 _Duncan had been so in love with Veronica then…_

Duncan had moved on, so it seemed… he had even started a polite friendship with this newer Veronica and he had invited Faith Schultz to Homecoming… surely he wouldn't be too mad at him for asking her out?

"Hey Man, I was just in the yard if you wanna come out back?" Duncan smiled as he opened the door to the Kane family estate.

"Actually… could we talk out here?" Logan asked nervously as he stood in the doorway.

"Is everything okay?" Duncan asked, concern furrowing his brows.

"I hope so… Jurys still out on that part" Logan replied as he paced anxiously.

"Well get it out dude, what's the matter?" Duncan questioned as he crossed his arms and stared at Logan curiously. Then genuine worry in Duncan's eyes made him feel ill.

"I'm still trying to figure out how to ask this… I just wanna make sure it's cool with you…" Logan swallowed, unable to look at him.

"Then just… breathe…" Duncan assured him.

Logan inhaled deeply and finally looked his friend in the eye.

"You know… I've not really dated… like really dated since…" he exhaled nervously.

"Since Lilly" Duncan commented quietly.

"Yeah… well… I've sort of gotten involved with someone… and…" Logan admitted apprehensively.

 _Why was getting these words out so much harder when Duncan looked at him like he was happy at that revelation?_

"Logan… it's been a year… I think it's okay if you let go" Duncan promised. "Lilly would have wanted you to be happy"

The words twisted in his gut. He felt wretched _… would he still be saying that when he found out who she was?_

"You taking her to Homecoming?" Duncan asked.

"I was planning on it… and its kinda weird but… I just wanted to run it by you…" Logan gulped.

"Man.. come on I am sure she will say yes!" Duncan laughed. "I haven't seen you this nervous since junior high when you asked out Lilly!"

"It's Veronica" he blurted finally.

"What?" Duncan bellowed.

"The girl its…" he repeated.

"I heard you the first time… what the hell Logan?" Duncan interrupted angrily.

"I wasn't planning on it…" Logan tried to explain.

"What you figured she's got some memory problems and you'd make your move before she remembers she hates you?" Duncan spat as his blue eyes flashed furiously at him.

"It's not like that…" Logan implored him as he ran his hand through his brown hair.

"Not like you asking me if it's okay you date my ex-girlfriend?" Duncan snarled. "She's in recovery… what the hell is wrong with you?"

 _The criticism sliced through him… Duncan was like his brother… he was his best friend…_

"I care about her…" Logan protested weakly.

"No you are infatuated with her… obsessed… you have been for a while, don't think I haven't noticed" Duncan accused him.

 _Obsessed… hadn't Caitlin accused him of the exact same thing when she dumped him a month ago?_

"Yeah well if you knew why didn't you say anything?" he demanded.

"Because I knew in a million years she'd never look at you!" Duncan snapped and Logan felt like he had punched him in the gut. It was true… the old Veronica probably never would have given him the time of day. "You wanted my permission to date my ex? Fine.. you don't have it"

 _Was he serious?_

"I wasn't asking permission" Logan informed him.

"Weren't you?" Duncan argued. "Because when you said you wanted to make sure it was cool with me… it sounded a lot like it!"

"You broke it off a year ago… how could this bother you?" Logan exclaimed. "You're dating Faith!"

"Because I know who you are Logan!" Duncan complained. "Maybe that was okay when you were an okay guy when you were dating Lilly… she could handle you…"

 _Duncan Kane had been his best friend since kindergarten.. how could he think so little of him?_

"What now I need to be handled?" he demanded.

"You need to stop acting like a jackass and drop this!" Duncan told him firmly.

 _A Jackass?_

"She can make up her own mind" Logan snapped. "She's already said yes!"

 _In fact, she can barely keep her hands off me…_

"Don't think for one second that if she were herself… that she would be agreeing to anything" Duncan said as he squared up to him. "Now get away from my house" he growled before he stormed away and slammed the front door.


	22. Chapter 22

_Dear Diary,_

 _It turns out shopping for Homecoming dresses doesn't actually involve a movie montage moment where all the girls get together and put on a fashion show even though we did spend a ridiculous amount of time in the changing rooms. I am beginning to think that all this retail therapy is just really not my thing, it is a good way to get into the 09er's heads though. Sparkly dresses sliding over hips actually equals loose lips… it's like they can't do two things at the same time. Invasion of the bubble heads! Makes recon pretty easy, and I got my dress sorted._

 _I'm relieved though that this aversion to shopping isn't just me.. Mac looked as uncomfortable as I did. They aren't all bad. May is actually rather sweet, she helped me accessorize. Apparently fuchsia is not my friend and that navy colour that dominates my wardrobe washes out my skin tone? Note to self… must get more sunlight. Coming from the Scots-Irish red-head girl… maybe I should take her advice?_

 _Natalie Leon is going with Casey Gant, the girl definitely belongs working for the UN but she lacks the confidence at the moment, she's been so nice to me I really hope some of this independent girl power vibe that Meg has rubs off on her._

 _Speaking of Meg… wing-woman points are up to eleven! Wallace asked her out at Lunch… not sure if that's going to be awkward but I am glad he finally made a move._

 _The bugs are out there now, so I will get some answers back in a few days._

Keith Mars was out on a stake out tonight and Veronica had eaten dinner at the Neptune North Street Mall with Mac and Meg was in the middle of her calculus homework when the door knocked. Glancing at the small clock on her desk she noted it was 8.35pm.

 _Was it Wallace?_ She hadn't been expecting anyone, he'd told her he was going to be working at the Sac-n-Pac tonight.

"Easy boy" she soothed Backup as he barked at the door as she left her bedroom.

"Hi" Logan said anxiously.

"Hey…" she replied as she shooed the excited dog away from her leg.

"Can we talk?" he asked, he had been compelled to see her ever since he had gotten into his car and left Duncan's house.

"Sure… although if it's about Homecoming… I've just spent the last two hours being dragged around looking at uncomfortable strappy shoes in an assortment of colours so I _will_ be pissed if you have come here to cancel" she joked as she closed the door and stepped outside onto the small balcony.

He took her by surprise when he reached out and cupped her face, pulling her closer for a kiss, it was urgent and lingering, and something in the way he held her against him made her knees go weak. Swoon was the only word she could think of to describe it.

"Wow… if that's how you usually have conversations… can we get chatty more often?" she purred as she gripped onto his shirt. _He smelled so good._

"I just need to know that you really want this…" Logan told her. "I know you aren't exactly... the old you who might not have considered this got deleted… I don't want to be pressuring you…"

"Logan… I feel more myself when I am with you than I do just about anywhere" she declared as she kissed him again. "The rest of it is like a puzzle, and each piece held knowledge, historic facts, or personal memory; sometimes when doing a giant puzzle, you have to take breaks putting it together see the important areas you need to solve next… I don't feel like I need to figure this part out"

 _Everywhere else in her life she had seemed to be only discovering more that she had forgotten, with Logan she didn't feel that way._

Her words seemed to soothe something inside him and he kissed her again, his arms around her waist as he pressed her against the door.

"Good… because I really care about you Veronica" he whispered his brown eyes gazed deeply into hers and she felt her pulse quicken.

"I care about you too Logan" she told him as she felt his hands around her hips.

"Then have dinner with me" Logan breathed softly… he'd go to dinner with her first… let her make up her mind for herself… then if she still really wanted to.. he'd take her to Homecoming.

"I-I have homework…." she replied mesmerized by his lips, she wanted to feel them on hers again. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer was than their last make out session in his car.

"Saturday…" he said as those lips spread into a flirtatious grin. "Go on a real date with me… that way if you change your mind you can still go to the dance with someone else" Veronica couldn't help but wonder if Logan's heart was beating as fast as hers, or if he was feeling anything akin to the hot fire of desire that had settled in her belly.

"Okay.." she agreed.

"I'll pick you up at 7pm?" he asked as he pulled her closer and kissed her forehead.

Veronica nodded silently and watched as Logan released her, turned and left.

"Hello?" Daisy answered as she picked up the phone.

"Hey… it's me… what does one wear on a date?" Veronica asked.

 _Dear Diary_

 _Hot guy showing up unexpectedly at your door and kissing the hell out of you? Makes it impossible to focus on any Maths that doesn't involve subtracting your clothes._


	23. Chapter 23

"I am the last person you probably want to ask for dating advice" Daisy joked during Veronica's lunch period when she had snuck off campus to avoid all the festivities for the Lilly Kane Memorial Fountain. The 09er clique had been tormenting her earlier about the tragedy of her memory loss and telling her all these stories about parties they'd been to. It had gotten a little overwhelming so she had decided to take the receiver out of the trophy case and bring it into the Mars Investigations office for Daisy to download.

"How can _you_ have trouble dating?" Veronica exclaimed.

This little friendship of theirs was fun… Daisy was a very cynical chatty person and a treasure trove of random possible answers to hypothetical questions. _Like say Abel Koontz would take a pay off if he was going to end up on death row?_ The only trouble was… she was fixated today on hearing more about this impending date.

"Hot girls always have trouble dating.." she replied as she handed Veronica a small coffee. "This is my gift to the office!" Daisy told her as she pointed at the small espresso machine.

"A _real_ coffee maker?" Veronica asked.

"My room-mate moved out last week to go live with her boyfriend, and Cadence my other room-mate moved in her girlfriend, who had one twice the size of this one, so I donated it" she explained.

"I can practise for my future as a barista if I don't get my grades up for this Kane scholarship" Veronica joked.

"How's that going?" Daisy questioned as she sipped on her own Mocha.

"I have a few make up exams based from the more recent stuff" Veronica told her.

"I still can't believe they expect you to take tests" Daisy shook her head in disgust.

"Teaching… a profession for sadists everywhere" Veronica quipped.

"So who is this guy you are dating?" she asked.

"My dead best friends ex-boyfriend" Veronica replied. "This does not get back to my dad!"

Daisy made a lips sealed motion.

"And I thought waking up in bed beside Sheriff Lamb was a problem" Daisy whistled.

"You woke up in bed beside Sheriff Lamb?" Veronica exclaimed in horror.

She'd only met the Sheriff a handful of times but he was a total arrogant jerk. Albeit a handsome, self-absorbed arrogant jerk.

"Tequila… salsa music… need I say more?" Daisy sighed.

"How did you ever meet Lamb?" Veronica asked incredulously.

"I met Leo… super cute deputy who has a band… they had a party… Cadence was invited along because she's a basest who knows their drummer… the rest is soaked in whiskey and my missing favourite shoe" Daisy elaborated. "The follies of youth…"

"Didn't they bust the party?" Veronica asked.

"I'm 22" Daisy winked as she handed Veronica back the receiver. "Files are all downloaded; I put them in the mp3 player under Neptune 1-14"

"Thank you…." Veronica said gratefully.

"No… thank you" Daisy smiled as she picked up her choux pastry. "It's a good thing you caught me, I'm heading out early this afternoon" she admitted.

"Going on the Lamb?" Veronica teased.

"Ha! No! I'm running a class down at the Half Moon Dojo… Martial Arts class, one of my students has a competition coming up" Daisy explained as she made a silly karate chop motion.

"Cool" Veronica said as she slipped the small mp3 player into her coat pocket.

"So about this date… you have any idea where he is taking you?" Daisy asked.

"Nope… should I?" she replied.

"Probably… but if he is in high school… chances are you can rule out needing a cocktail dress" Daisy smiled.

"This is going to be my first date, since.." she said pointing at her head.

"Ah… ok, well… just because he buys you dinner doesn't mean you owe him anything… carry cab fare in your purse and always keep your phone charged up" Daisy told her firmly. "And always tell someone where you are going and when you expect to be back"

"Should I carry my taser in my purse too?" Veronica laughed.

"Pepper spray usually does the job too.." Daisy answered seriously.

"You aren't kidding" Veronica sobered.

"Nope… and always keep an eye on your drink" Daisy told her firmly.

"Does College make you that paranoid?" Veronica gulped.

"Nope… being a woman does" she replied.

The Memorial Dedication set up was well underway when Logan finally crossed paths with Duncan after lunch. He found him playing with the television they had set up.

"Logan…" Duncan called as he jumped off the stage.

"I really don't need another pep talk man… not today…" Logan said dismissively as he continued walking away. He wasn't in the mood for another confrontation.

"I'm sorry" Duncan told him.

"Yeah? For which part?" Logan replied coldly, turning around to face his friend.

"I just don't want you guys to make a mistake…" Duncan sighed.

"Because the thought that there could be some kind of happiness for a jackass like me at the end of all of this is just too horrible to consider?" Logan said.

"I want you both to be happy" Duncan relented.

"Just not with each other… I get it" Logan sighed.

"It's Veronica…" Duncan implored him.

"I know… exactly…" Logan told him as he finally broke eye contact.

"Just… don't hurt her" Duncan offered before he turned back to the display screen.

 _I wasn't ever planning on it…_

This was as close as they would probably get to a resolution on the topic Logan thought sadly before the first few images of the Lilly video began their test viewing.

Most of the students at Neptune High showed up that night at the Lilly Kane Fountain Dedication, Veronica did her best to take as many photos of the crowd as possible as they reacted to the video of Lilly Kane on the big screen…. It wasn't until she was reviewing them on her computer later when she got home that she found the ones of Weevil Navarro crying…

 _Why would a tough biker gang leader be crying over a rich popular girl…. Unless they had been involved romantically at one point?_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Okay… so I think Lilly and Weevil might have had a relationship at some point… but that doesn't mean he's involved. According to my dads police records, he was on community service at the time of the murder._

 _I've been listening to the recordings of the other 09ers… seems the old me had quite the reputation… people wear a thousand faces. Nothing incriminating yet, I'll have to check out the other receiver tomorrow, maybe plant a few bugs in the girls locker room?_

 _I'm going down to the Sheriff's Office tomorrow to pick up that unpaid parking ticket of Lilly Kane's, see if it has any new leads… then I have a date with Logan. I'm not sure which one has me more nervous… committing Identity fraud or going on a date._

 _Stay tuned… for all I know… tomorrow's update will be getting made from a prison cell._


	24. Chapter 24

_Dear Diary,_

 _According to Google there are about 62,300,000 results available in 0.60 seconds on what counts as a cute first date outfit… so far…. I have raided my wardrobe several times and decided quite definitively that this skill is not one I can't remember how to do right now… which really isn't helpful and looking through Pinterest like Meg suggested… just leaves me even more confused. The only practical advice I have gotten so far was from Wallace, avoid wearing anything with buttons if I don't want to be undressed on my first date ever. (at least as far as I can remember)_

Veronica looked over the things in her wardrobe again and settled on a pair of white converse, blue jeans and a green tank top. She would stop by the Neptune North Street Mall on her way home from the Sheriffs Department, she tucked the Lilly Kane ID into her back pocket.

"Hey Honey" Keith Mars smiled as she entered the small living room and he stood in the kitchenette.

"Morning Dad" she smiled as she picked up her bag and pulled out her car keys. "I'm heading out.. do we need anything?" she asked as she stroked Backup behind the ear. He had begun wagging his tail with interest at the sound of her car keys.

"Some milk and ketchup probably" he replied as he bit into his toast.

"Okay" she agreed and kissed him on the cheek before she grabbed her jacket from over the back of the chair and left.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The trouble with trying to infiltrate the wonderful Balboa County Sheriffs Department without noticed by people you know with Amnesia… is that you don't know exactly who you used to know._

Thankfully the receptionist in the Sheriffs public affairs desk didn't seem to recognise her.

"Hi, Can I help you?" Emma asked as she greeted the petite blond girl.

"Hey… I am here to get a copy of my unpaid parking ticket?" Veronica replied as she handed over the fake ID and smiled. Eyes wide, look friendly… focus on me and not the ID.

"Do you have the registration?" Emma enquired.

"Uh yeah.. it's right here" Veronica said as she held out the post-it note she had written Lilly and Duncan's registration on yesterday.

"Thanks" Emma smiled as she went off to the computer in the other room to print it out.

"What are you doing here?" Sheriff Lamb asked as he bit into his apple and eyed her suspiciously.

"Just here to pay off a ticket" she replied calmly.

"Uh huh…" he said sceptically. "What are you really doing here?"

"Not working for my father if that's what you are implying…" Veronica said as she stared back at him.

"I'm onto you" he said cryptically.

"Word is you have ON my dad's new assistant" she teased and his face visibly reddened.

"I don't know what you are talking about" he said as adjusted his tie.

"Daisy says hi" Veronica smiled.

"Don't you have homework or something to be doing?" he complained before he turned and walked to his office.

 _Whew… that was close…_

"I'm afraid there's no wiggle room on this one" Emma smiled regretfully as she handed Veronica the copy of the ticket.

"I'll mail in the payment… thanks!" Veronica said quickly as she took the page and her ID as she headed out of the building.

"Goodbye Ms Kane!" Emma said cheerily.

Veronica sat in shock as she looked through the time stamp on the automated traffic ticket and looked through the coroner's report… the time of death was off by about 3 hours. Keith Mars had been right all along, there really was something off about the circumstances surrounding Lilly Kane's murder, and suddenly… none of the Kane's had alibi's that held up.

Neither did Weevil Navarro.

There had to be something more she was missing, she had to go through those files again. She had to go back even further… get the arrest reports for Abel Koontz, go through the footage of the news reports from around that time… to try and jog her memory.

 _"High on Life Veronica Mars… I've got a secret a good one"_

She wasn't sure where the words had come from but as she looked at the photograph of Lilly Kane smiling on the last day of her life driving without a care in her car towards her death, Veronica felt certain that she knew that the voice belonged to Lilly Kane. It had been the first time that she felt that stab of loss, the first concrete connection to this case and the life that had been cruelly taken too soon and she felt the tears running down her face.

Veronica didn't mention the new evidence she uncovered to Keith Mars, somehow she got the sense that mentioning her investigation would only worry him and he'd make her stop. She couldn't do that now, she knew that. She was getting close to something, she could feel it. Maybe that's why her shopping trip to the Mall felt more like she was choosing her weapons, to capture a predator she couldn't remain the prey… someone in Neptune knew something. She would have to find them… she had isolated herself the first time, perhaps now she had their trust she could hunt smarter.

She returned from the afternoon run with Backup and took a shower, something in her resolve was hardening, she could feel it. Lilly's killer had a year-long head start… but that just meant they felt safe, they would be sloppy now, they felt safe.

They couldn't be more wrong.


	25. Chapter 25

(Song for this scene Anthem Lights – Love you like the movies)

Logan double checked his appearance before he left the car and felt his heart racing as he walked up the stairs to collect Veronica. He was bursting with anticipation, he was nervous, he had been over-analysing tonight all day. He really hoped she would enjoy his date night idea and that it wouldn't just turn out to be a total disaster. If he hadn't been planning to drive he could've used a little bit of liquid courage right about now.

"Hello Logan" Keith Mars said as he greeted him at the door.

"Mr Mars" he smiled nervously. Her father wasn't the tallest man, about 5 ft 9 inches but the 35 years of being on the police force as Sheriff and his reputation of being Neptune's number one Private Investigator gave him a formidable presence, even if Logan did tower over him at 6ft.

Keith Mars was not a man to underestimate; he was stocky and muscled and had a glare that demanded respect. He was also the most important person in Veronica's life, even after the amnesia, so Logan wanted to get off on the right foot.

"Veronica… sweetheart, your friend is here" Keith called out but he never stopped glaring at Logan. "I expect her home no later than 10.30pm" he warned.

"Yes sir" Logan promised.

"I think we could stretch that to 11pm" Veronica teased as she kissed her father on the cheek.

"Alright... but I'm just a phone call away if you need anything" he told her as he surveyed Logan.

"So is Daisy" she smiled before she pet the brown pitbull and stepped outside onto the porch, closing the door behind them.

Logan stared in awe at the petite blond in front of him, she wore tall black boots over dark blue skinny jeans, with a pale pink button up blouse and a black jacket.

 _God I am already trying to figure out how to take all of this off of her…_

"Hi" he smiled as his brown eyes drank her in.

"Hey" she grinned back, _score one for Wallace and Daisy… wear something you can feel sexy and confident in._

"Uh… these are for you" he said timidly as he handed her small bouquet looking object.

Veronica raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"A bouquet of kitchen utensils?" she frowned as she unwrapped the fabric on the outside of it. "And an apron?" she asked as she looked at him in confusion.

"I uh… thought we might try a cooking class tonight… we could make each other dinner… there's this little Italian place just opened up on the Neptune Plaza near the Boardwalk… they do these couples lessons.." Logan explained nervously. "Mine are in the car… but if you'd rather we go someplace else… we can…"

"A cooking class?" she repeated incredulously.

"Yeah… it was that or a Trivia night… but I figured since I'm mostly a Mac-n-Cheese kind of guy when the family chef isn't around and you've pretty much forgotten how… it might be fun…" he smiled back.

 _We can learn together… I don't care what we are doing as long as you are here…_

Veronica was genuinely impressed; it was so unexpected and thoughtful, and it made her feel more relaxed...

"That sounds perfect" she smiled, her blue eyes sparkled with warmth at him and Logan felt the tension release as he reached out and took her hand.

"Alright.. let's go" he replied nervously.

 _Keep your hands to yourself Echolls… just breathe…_ Logan reminded himself as he opened the car door. Being this close to his back seat made it a struggle not to pull her to his body and kiss her again.

The Aroma Grove was a new Italian run family business that he had heard about from Nadia Alonso his families personal chef, there were couples classes on every weekend and he really hoped this went well. The ridiculous apron's he'd picked up he hoped would distract from his complete lack of experience in the kitchen.

"Mr Good Lookin' is Cookin' huh?" she smiled as she stared at his apron.

"Hey, it was either this or 'I turn Grills on'" he joked.

"Classy, Sassy and a bit Smart Assy? Wow.. I am amazed and a little impressed… you refrained from getting the one that makes it looked like I'm in sexy underwear" she teased as she put on her own apron.

"Yeah… I don't need the extra temptation" Logan admitted as he stared as she pulled her blond hair up into a messy bun.

"Okay everyone… tonight we are going to be making a few simple dishes, Panzenella for starters, this is a Tuscan bread salad followed by Chicken Cacciatore and Grapefruit Zabaglione over Mixed Berries for dessert" Anselma Padovano the instructor told them.

"We will be working in teams of 4, so some of our more experienced class members will be joining some of our new faces… if anyone has any questions or concerns please raise your hands" she smiled.

"Hello, I am Mage and this is my husband Daniel" an older woman in her 50's said as they approached the counter where Logan and Veronica were sorting through a small basket of vegetables.

"Veronica.. and this is Logan" she smiled as she shook her hand.

"Have you been to a class like this before?" Daniel asked politely.

"Uh.. no.. it's our first time" Logan said nervously.

"Well, don't worry.. Mage will keep you right" he smiled back.

The class was fun, although they had spent most of it feeding each other the ingredients by the time they were finished so they weren't very hungry by the time the group all sat down together to eat their meals when they were finished, they just sat across from one another stealing glances as the others in their class shared stories. Mage and Daniel Hartnett were regulars at the Murano restaurant cooking class in San Diego but they were spending a few weeks in Neptune for their holidays.

They had seemed very interested in passing on relationship advice when they found out that this was a first date.

"You should keep a man who knows his way around the kitchen" Mage had winked and Logan was amused when Veronica blushed nervously.

 _She looked so damn kissable as she focused on her work in the kitchen_.

Being around her was just… so easy… so comfortable...

"I had a great time" Veronica smiled as they left the restaurant and carried the small leftovers Tupperware box in her hands.

"It's not over yet" Logan grinned as he glanced at his watch. "It's only 9.47pm… I still got some time"

"Okay.. what did you have in mind?" Veronica laughed.

They went to Java the Hut for some hot chocolates to go along the Neptune Plaza Pier and left the Tupperware box in his car while he grabbed a small basket from his trunk and he walked her down to the beach. The hot chocolate kept her hands warm as they walked along the sand, it was a little cold and the sky looked like it had exploded with stars as the moonlight danced off the water. The smell of the salt and sand filled the air as they made their way towards a large ring of driftwood seats near a large fire pit.

"They have these beach fires you can rent out… I got us one for an hour" he explained as he pulled out a bag of marshmallows and chocolate sauce. "You probably don't remember this… but S'mores and chocolate sauce is one of your favourite things" he told her shyly as he lit up the small bonfire and joined her under the large blanket that he pulled from the basket and sat beside her, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her closer.

Veronica moaned softly as he kissed her deep and slow, his mouth tasted of chocolate, she put her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

"I think you just found one of my new favourite things" she whispered as he cupped her face and his brown eyes looked like they were ablaze as the fire danced in them. "Being here with you…"

"Yeah? You taste like marshmallows" he teased as he lifted a s'more stick and popped a chocolate covered melting marshmallow in her mouth.

Logan couldn't quite explain the lightness he felt while he watched her giggle as she tried to stop the giant marshmallow in her mouth from falling out, the emotions building inside him made him feel like his heart was on a whole different planet…

 _I am completely smitten…_

He couldn't find a language to describe these feelings, not even poetry could explain them. Logan wanted to lay her back in the sand and explore every part of her… he wanted to stay there under the stars with her in his arms. The sounds she made when he kissed her neck were so unbearably arousing.. he was hot for her...

"I have to get you home" he rasped, his voice was husky as he forced his hands to stop playing with the buttons on her pink blouse. His heart was pounding in his chest as her blue eyes gazed into his.

 _God it would be so easy to undress her right here in the sand… the thought almost did him in._

Leaving her back to her house that night had been torment, he ached for her.

"Goodnight Logan" she said as she kissed him on the cheek and went up to her apartment.

Logan couldn't sleep that night, he just on the sun lounger in his garden that night under the stars with the blanket wrapped around him. He knew for certain now… he was in love with Veronica Mars… and maybe just maybe… she felt the same way about him too.

 _"I think you just found one of my new favourite things… being with you…"_

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Tonight had been completely unexpected... If there was such a thing as a perfect night I never want to forget… it was tonight._

 _Logan Echolls… you are stealing my heart._


	26. Chapter 26

Veronica was working in her father's office with Daisy the rest of the weekend, and the previous evening they had actually done their own stake out at the Camelott Motel snapping pictures of Oliver Ravendale, Tech App Mogul who as it turned out was not screwing his personal secretary Imogen Somerhalder under the nose of his very suspicious wife Kelly, he was actually spending the evening with her brother.

 _People were screwed up._

"So he took you to a cooking class?" Daisy asked as she passed Veronica the box of potato chips.

"Yep" Veronica smiled.

"That's cute… I can't remember the last time a guy cooked for me" Daisy complained. "What did you guys end up making?"

 _Not sweet sweet love…_

"Italian.. it's my favourite" Veronica told her.

 _It had been perfect._

"That's where he has an advantage… sneaky" Daisy replied.

"Sneaky how?" Veronica asked.

"Well he knows everything about you…" she explained.

"Yeah… I guess he does…" Veronica replied before she took snaps of the two men kissing goodbye before they got into their cars. "Got the money shot"

"Alright… let's get you home before you turn into a Pumpkin" Daisy told her as she started the engine.

"Should I be worried that Logan has this big advantage?" Veronica asked before she got out of the car at her apartments.

"Nope.. from what you have told me… this guy is besotted" Daisy smiled. "They don't go to all that kind of effort unless they really like you"

 _Dear Diary,_

 _How can you really tell if the hot guy who keeps kissing you really likes you? Stupid brain…_

 _I finally got the chance to talk to Daisy about Abel Koontz… seems we both agree that a man on death row would have no need for a large sum of money unless he's leaving it behind for someone._

 _I'm going to run his financials… see if he had any debts and go to the City Births, Deaths and Marriage Registry… see if Abel Koontz has any family members. It's the only reason I could see that someone would put themselves in this position. Like I said… people are screwed up._

 _Lethal injection is a horrible way to go… why would a man.. even a poor man be willing to throw his life away? Unless… his life is already slipping away. I need to get a hold of his medical records… I need to find a way to hack into the prison medical database._

 _Good thing I happen to know Neptune High Schools very own rebel Hacktivist… I wonder how Mac feels about doing some recreational sleuthing?_

 _I'm waiting on the press footage of the Abel Koontz arrest and the press interviews he gave from behind bars three months ago when they were talking to him about refusing his public defenders advice about making his appeals._

 _I really want to talk to dad about this, but there's not enough evidence yet and I am onto something.. I can feel it._

Logan had tried his best to play it cool and give Veronica the rest of the weekend to herself, he was driving himself crazy just thinking about her lips, of her petite body against his masculine chest as they had huddled together under the stars beside that fire. He felt like a drug addict, he wanted to be there again.

"Ms James?" Logan said politely as he knocked on her door.

"Logan.. welcome, come on in" she smiled.

"I'm not really here for a session… I just came to give you this" he smiled as he handed her a small potted plant.

"A White Dendrobium Orchid" she gasped in surprise. "I used to have one of these in my office when I was a TA in college" she told him as she picked up the small plant.

"It's just to say thanks… for all your help… and to brighten the place up a bit" he said shyly.

"I take it things are better between you and Veronica?" Ms James enquired gently.

"Yeah… we are going to Homecoming on Friday" he smiled happily before he turned and left the room.

"Dude you have to check this out…" Dick told him as he pulled up his phone and showed him a video of a surfer throwing his board and a baited fishing line off a bridge in Australia to snare a shark and jumping over into the water.

"That guy is crazy!" Logan laughed.

"There's this guy was going to try this out on Ocean Beach Pier in San Diego this weekend… we should go and check it out!" Dick exclaimed.

"It's Homecoming Friday man" Logan reminded him.

"So? Your folks aren't home" Dick laughed.

"Yeah… but I'm going" he smiled before he turned around and picked his chemistry notebook out of his locker.

"But you don't have a tux.." Dick said confused. "Or a date…." he called after him.

Logan said nothing, he just grinned before he turned and headed off to his next class.

"Hummingbird Creations, how can we help?" the florist shop assistant answered.

"Hi… could I custom order a corsage for pick up on Friday morning please?" Logan asked as he looked over at Veronica as she chatted with Wallace at her usual lunch table.

"Sure… do you want to use our app and we can deliver it to you when it's complete?" she answered politely.

"That sounds perfect" he smiled as she glanced over at him, a small smile spreading over her lips and he felt his heart skip a beat…

 _That's called arrhythmia… she's going to be the death of you…_

He just had to go and get fitted for that tux after school tonight, that shy way she looked away from him and the colour creeping into her cheeks made his heart flutter… he wasn't done falling.

"You didn't come have lunch with us.. is everything Okay?" Pam asked.

"Yeah… everythings fine" he answered as he completed his order and put his phone back into his pocket.

"So… Caitlin said it's alright if you want to ask her to Homecoming" Kimmy told him as the two girls stood in almost identical outfits. Suddenly the two of them reminded them from the minor characters in Mean Girls, they were plastic… and empty… how hadn't he seen it before?

"I'm already going with someone… but tell Caitlin I said Hi" Logan smiled contentedly before he left them gaping at him and walked away.

"Did you two cook up some love potion or something in that class?" Wallace complained as he caught Veronica staring at Logan. Again. "I'm trying to eat my lunch… all these moon eyes is making me nauseous" he scolded.

"Like the ones you have been giving Meg all morning?" Veronica teased, she had seen the way Wallace had been sneaking glimpses at the blond cheerleader as she stood in the small booth by the entrance to the food court and sold the boxes of cakes and spirit boxes that the student council had made the previous week.

"I have a twinkle… the girl is _fine_ … you have a whole inferno going in there" Wallace told her simply.

"Her dress is chiffon pink by the way" Veronica smiled as she picked up a French fry and skimmed through the copy of the permanent file for Weevil Navarro he had gotten for her that morning.

"Meaning?" he asked as his brows furrowed.

"Meaning it's a white rose corsage" she explained.

"See? This is why I keep you around Supafly" he joked.


	27. Chapter 27

"Skip last period with me" Logan said as he wrapped his arms around Veronica's waist the following afternoon as she stopped by the vending machine to get herself a soda, mulling over her options. "You prefer these ones" he said pointing at the option for Sunkist Orange soda and kissing her on the neck.

 _Who'd have thought his little Veronica obsession could come in useful?_

"You want me to skip class?" Veronica smiled as she pressed the selection for the one he had suggested. He wasn't sure why her trust in his recommendation made him feel so pleased, but it did.

"Yes… I want to steal you away for the afternoon" he confessed as she picked up her drink and turned around to look up at him.

 _Come on… be bad with me… I've missed you…_

"I have a make-up test today. It's for government class" she admitted as she curled her arms around his hips and hugged him closer.

"Okay… what about after?" he asked his brown eyes pleaded.

Veronica had been planning on visiting the records room at the Balboa County Births, Deaths and Marriages registry that afternoon.

"I have a few errands to run…" she told him sadly, and Veronica could tell that he was disappointed.

 _Was she really busy… or just making excuses not to see him?_

"Tomorrow though… my dad's on a stake out if you want to come over and watch a movie?" she suggested.

"Yeah.. that sounds like fun" he grinned as he traced his thumb along her lower lip before tilting her chin upwards and kissing her slowly.

 _She made it so damn hard to behave…_

Veronica completed her final make up exam and was relieved when she was told that she cleared it high enough to stay on the honour roll for the Kane scholarship. She wasn't so relieved to discover that she would have to file paperwork to request the marriage and genealogy documents she was looking for and it was going to take a week for them to be delivered, but it was a start.

The Neptune Sacred Heart Outpatients Clinic had rescheduled her appointment with Dr Holtz for the following week, so that was a small mercy. The late afternoon sun was still blazing as she was walking Backup along the beach before dinner when she caught sight of Dick Casablanca's and Logan surfing but he was too far out to see her.

Dear Diary,

 _Aloha abs._

 _I have to admit… surfers are pretty hot… salty kisses… tanned, it's like pasty isn't even in his vocabulary… and all that paddling out again and again does magical things to his biceps. At least if I've forgotten how to swim he can come out and scoop me back up again. Is there anything sexier than a man who knows how to handle himself in the wild?_

 _Lesser beings mistakenly confuse sexy talk with double entendres. But I can't seem to stop the mental suggestive language and childish puns. Like these:_

 _1._ _Pull out_

 _2._ _Rubber up_

 _3._ _Wax job_

 _4._ _Strap on_

 _5._ _Tube riding_

 _6._ _Sweet spot_

 _7._ _Stroke_

 _8._ _Pumping_

 _9._ _Re-entry_

 _It certainly doesn't help that Logan Echolls is really sexy close-up._

"I have to work a case this weekend in Los Angeles" Keith Mars told her as he passed her a bread roll.

"Okay…" Veronica replied as she handed him a bowl of Chupe soup. "You gonna put the screws to him?" she joked in a 1950s Dick Tracy impression.

"He's gonna sing like a canary" her dad joked back in a fake accent.

"Why did the Sheriff's department question Weevil over Lilly's murder?" Veronica asked finally.

"I thought we weren't going to discuss the case anymore?" he answered as he put down the bread roll in his hand and broke eye contact.

"We aren't, we are discussing Weevil" Veronica reasoned.

"All I know sweetie is that they were involved" Keith informed her. "Enough for the school to consider him a person of interest… but there is no way the Kane's went to all the trouble of covering up Lilly's murder for someone like Weevil"

"How do you know it was the Kane's?" she asked.

"Because Clarence Weidman the Kane's head of security made the anonymous call that got Abel Koontz arrested" Keith told her. "I just can't prove it"

Logan picked up a few sodas and a few of those cook on the stove popcorns in the Sac-n-Pac and noticed Wallace was working behind the counter. Picking up a few packs of Gum and a copy of Surf Life he put his basket onto the counter.

"Hey" he smiled awkwardly; this was Veronica's best friend.

"Hi" Wallace replied and Logan watched as he began to ring up the contents of the basket and began bagging them up.

"Listen… Wallace… I don't know your plans for the dance on Friday, but I'm getting a Limo, if you and Meg want to join us… that would probably make things easier and put Veronica's mind at ease… if you wanted" Logan offered.

Duncan Kane and Faith Schultz were planning on going with Troy Vandergraf and Tammy Forrester, sharing with his best friend while he took his ex to Homecoming dance would just have been too awkward for all involved. Besides… this would be a great chance to get to know her friend.

"I think Meg was going to be organizing something with May and Lizzie her sister and their boyfriends but I'll run it by her…" Wallace told him. "Thanks"

"Cool.. well uh.. let Veronica know and we can arrange it from there" Logan smiled faintly as he paid for his stuff and left.

"Hey" Veronica greeted him warmly as she opened the door to the small two bedroom apartment.

"Hello" he said as he kissed her.

 _This was tempting fate… her bedroom was just thirty feet away from them…_

"I brought popcorn" he told her as he offered up the bag of stuff he had picked up from the Sac-n-Pac. The 3 year old pitbull piqued his head up in interest at the sound of the bag as he lay curled up on the striped armchair in the corner.

"Cool… I picked up a few movies for us… so you can pick" she smiled.

"Warm Bodies? Big Trouble in Little China? Chasing Maverick?" He laughed.

"I didn't really know what kind you like" she admitted.

"I like anything that lets me cuddle up on the couch with you" he confessed and pulled her closer.

 _He really was playing with fire…_

"So… what do you want..?" she asked quietly. _You…_

"Warm bodies?" he suggested.

"Okay" she smiled and bent over to put the DVD in while he went to get a bowl for their popcorn…

 _Yep… he was definitely playing with fire…_


	28. Chapter 28

Logan had thrown himself almost fully clothed into his swimming pool the night he had come home from Veronica's house, the only _Warm Body_ he had been able to focus on had been the one resting her head against his chest. His whole body felt alive when she was near him, the popcorn fight she had started had left her panting and eager beneath him again, it had taken all of his strength just to go home.

That look she kept giving him was driving him crazy. It had almost been a week since their first date and he found himself wanting to be with her almost all the time. Maybe he was obsessed.

 _No you idiot… you are in love with her…_

He almost couldn't believe that just a few months ago he had been hatching plans with Dick Casablanca's to get back at her for leaving that bong in his locker.

He hadn't felt this way about someone in a long time. He had always been this way… falling in love with Lilly Kane had enveloped him before he'd realised what was happening. There was no timeline that love had to follow; Logan knew that when it just happens, it happens. He wanted to dive straight in, and display his feelings on his sleeve. He was trying to hold back… Duncan's words still hung in the back of his mind.

He had doubts… but then she'd kiss him or smile at him and it all melted away…

 _"Hi this is Logan with today's inspirational message:_

 _"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult." — Seneca"_

Logan listened to his voicemail as he got ready for his Homecoming dance, the corsage had been delivered this morning and was waiting in the fridge.

"Hi Honey" His mother's voice called. "Have a great time tonight… we just saw the most beautiful mother and her calf… see you in four days, I love you"

 _Like he really needed to be reminded that his house was going to be blissfully empty for the next few days._

He'd been resisting the urge to invite Veronica over since his parents had left on their whale watching cruise yesterday morning.

 _Love you too, L_

He sent the text and checked the time, he was really nervous.

He'd never actually done this part… Lilly hadn't been interested in going to the dance.. that night the four of them had just driven around in the limo and spent the night on the beach. She hadn't been interest in the traditions or the dancing or the romance… he was.

The limo would be picking Meg and Wallace up first in the next hour and then collecting him so he could get Veronica. Her father, former Sheriff Keith Mars was in Los Angeles for an embezzlement case… Veronica's house would also be empty. The thought was sending his hormones into overdrive. She _touched_ something deep inside him, a part of him that had been buried when he lost Lilly. Part of him that only she could reach.

"Do one thing every day that scares you Echolls" he told himself as he adjusted his bow tie.

Son of two A List celebrities and red carpet appearances since he was about 3 years old, you would think that putting on formal wear would be like his own personal coat of armour.. if anything this just made him more nervous. He felt more himself when he was in a pair of trainers, jeans and his favourite coral sweat shirt.

"Leap and the net will appear." He breathed as he tried to calm his nerves.

He picked up the small corsage and waited by the door as he saw the headlights of the Limo appear, carrying the bottle of champagne in his hand, he took another deep breath.

"Show time"

Veronica wore a full length strapless teal silk dress and her hair was pulled back into a beautiful braided updo with loose blond curls. She looked like a sea nymph, the dress hugged her curves he wanted to run his heart pounded in his chest as she smiled from the door as she clutched her small silver purse. Her blue eyes were going to drown him.

"Hey there" she said shyly.

"Hi" Logan replied, unable to tear his eyes away. "You look beautiful" he whispered in reverence.

"You too, handsome" she smiled as she stepped forwards, her small silver heels made her a little nervous. She wasn't that used to wearing something that made her feel so unsteady, or was it just seeing him in a Tux that made her so weak in the knees?

She quickly glanced at Backup's water bowl to make sure he would be okay before she left.

"Here" Logan said as he handed her the small corsage, it was like a small bracelet made out of pale purple flowers.

"Are these?" she asked in surprise.

"Forget me nots" he chuckled. "Yeah…" he said as he blushed a little.

 _It was cheesy… so cheesy but really sweet…_

"I love it" she smiled as she handed it to him to put on her wrist.

 _And I love you…_ the words had almost slipped from his tongue as he held out his hand for her to join him outside.

Meg wore a full length black dress with a white bow and a black satin ruffle detail, and Wallace wore a similar tux to Logan's, the gym itself had been transformed into a mini star filled sky and one half was filled with dining tables while the other had the large dancefloor filled with swaying couples.

They posed for their photographs as they entered and handed over their tickets to Kimmy and Pam who glowered at Logan, no doubt Caitlin would be around somewhere with Madison Sinclair but he didn't care. The only eyes that bothered him were those of his best friend Duncan Kane who gave them a strange conflicted look before he turned away and headed to the refreshments table with Faith.

Veronica gave Meg a quizzical look at the change in her attire when they entered the girls bathroom.

"Sometimes the right one is worth going that little bit extra for" she winked before they returned to their dates.

"Do you want a drink?" he asked nervously and Veronica shook her head, she took him by the hand and led him to the dance floor as Etta James – At Last began to play and he slipped his arms around her waist, holding her against him and she put hers around his neck.

"I've never done this part before either" he confessed as he swayed with her in his arms.

"You've never danced with a hot guy?" she quipped.

"I can't take my eyes off you" he admitted smiling, his brown eyes melting into hers.

"So don't" she whispered as she stood up on her tip toes and captured his lips.

Veronica's feet were sore by the time the final song of the evening was playing, James TW – Please keep loving me was finishing they finally left the dance floor.

"Cole and Becca are having an after party at their house if you want to come along?" Meg asked as she stood wrapped up in Wallace's embrace outside the school entrance.

"I am definitely up for that" Wallace grinned.

"I don't know… I am kinda tired" Veronica said reluctantly.

"Well, we can grab a ride with Lizzie and Ryan if you want to head home" Meg smiled.

"Okay" Veronica replied as Logan wrapped his jacket around her shoulders.

"You sure?" Logan said quietly as Wallace and Meg left them to go and find her sister.

 _I don't want you to go…_

"Take me home" she told him as she curled her arms around his waist.

"Sure…" he sighed, disappointed and she smiled at him.

"Take me _home_ Logan..." she repeated as she let her eyes reinforce the full meaning of that request. Sometimes the right one was worth going that little bit extra for.

There were a lot of things that could kill a man… the look in her eyes was one of them… she wanted to come home _with_ him…


	29. Chapter 29

***Rated M... not advised to be read in public... or aloud unless you are in private ;)***

(Songs for this Scene Hooverphonic – Mad about you & Air – Sexy Boy & Groove Theory –Tell me & Portishead – Roads ) *** Do pick one, it helps to set la mood ;) ***

Logan had always undressed Veronica with his eyes, well her and almost every other reasonably attractive female he came across but tonight she was the only one he couldn't tear his eyes away from. The teal silk dress molded sleekly to every part of her body, her warm skin was so close to his fingertips all evening. Veronica was almost held motionless by that smile, shivery anticipation swept through her veins, a need like she had never known kindled within her.

 _Did she really understand what she was asking? Did she mean she wanted him, or was he just jumping to the conclusion that he hoped for?_

He'd always felt some fuse blow sky high when he saw her, always went out of his way to plague her and have her focus all of her attention on him. Now she was looking at him like he was the only other person in the world… and she wanted to rip his clothes off.

It seemed too good to be true, was it? Was she just acting on impulse?

Hesitantly she whispered "Do you want..?"

"Yes" he said bracing her face in his hands as he kissed her slow and deep, it grew rough and a little desperate, ending when he braced his thumbs alongside her mouth and forced himself away, his gaze was hot, his voice was gruff. "I want…"

 _He hadn't wanted someone as much since he had lost Lilly…_

Urgency overtook him as they stumbled kissing sideways into the entry foyer to the Echolls family home, on a direct path to his bedroom.

 _Was he sure about this? Damn yes he was sure!_

Logan was about to discuss it with her as he turned and sat onto the edge of his bed but he was rendered speechless as Veronica pulled her hair out of its updo and the blond curls cascaded around her shoulders. His jacket lay discarded on the floor and he swallowed hard as he watched her slowly unzip the silk evening dress and she let it slid down her body, over her hips and she stepped free of it.

 _This is going to be the best night of my life…_

There was absolutely no denying how attracted he was to her, but the sight of her approaching Logan wearing nothing but silk black panties and those silver strappy heels ignited an insatiable need in him. He wanted to tear them off her with his teeth.

 _There wasn't anything adorable or cute about her right now… she was sexy as hell._

She stood in front of him and reached for his bow tie, opening it with a sense of urgency, but knowing she had all the time in the world. This was going to be hands and mouths and bodies with no real destination or motive. Mesmerized Logan put his hands on her slender hips and kissed her stomach, drawing her closer until she climbed into his lap and his mouth explored her skin, along her breasts up to her collarbone until he found her lips and he lay backwards onto the mattress as they continued kissing and her hands made quick work of the buttons on his shirt.

 _Oh God her kisses were making him so lightheaded…._

She was so naked and he still had too many clothes on… it was torture, he was so hard, her warmth was pressed against him. He gripped her ass, pulled her against him and spun them both until she lay on her back beneath him. Shrugging off his shirt and kissing her again, his hands ran down her body, his fingertips claiming every new piece of skin, creating a roadmap where he wanted to put his mouth next.

Her heart was racing when Logan broke away from their kissing and his brown eyes watched hers intently as he lowered his hand past her naval and slipped into the black silk fabric and his fingers glided over the very core of her, her eyes widened at the unexpected pleasure of that sensation and her gasp seemed to have reassured him because he captured her mouth with his again and his fingers brushed against her intimately again. His touch felt like a double espresso of coffee, it woke up some dormant part of her… and it was starving for more of his body on hers. She craved all of him, she ran her hands over his masculine chiselled torso and moaned as he glided two fingers inside of her, encouraged he began a come hither motion with his fingers and threw her head back breathless.

Logan felt his heart swell with emotion as she lay beside him lost in rapture, their eyes having a wordless conversation, he rubbed his thumb against her clitoris and she cried out again.

 _She's so wet and responsive, if she's like this now…_

Veronica felt an uninhibited release of control as she gripped the bedsheets and tried to ride the building sensations as he played, it felt like electric dominoes falling down all over her skin, she could feel the build-up of tension and arched back and as her toes curled, almost like a clenching feeling. Just when she felt like she couldn't take it anymore, suddenly all that tension is released and pulsed throughout her body and Logan's mouth came crashing back onto hers while she fluttered around his fingers.

There was no conflict in him now…

 _The Old Veronica.. the New Veronica? She was His Veronica… and he loved her._

If he had thought she was beautiful before… she was magnificent now, he could almost see the fireworks he knew she would be feeling in her blue eyes when she buried her fingers in his hair and kissed him as she panted, her hips still writhing against his palm. Her lips spread into a happy grin and she pushed him away from her, as she reached for his belt and pulled it free, her blond hair fell in loose curls around her face, she looked like an angel. He stood back from the edge of the bed as she prompt herself up and looked at him wantonly, biting her lip playfully.

 _Am I dreaming this?_

He stood back from the edge of the bed as he gripped her panties and slid them down over her hips, running his hands up her calves, along down her slender thighs and parted her legs.

"I'm not done with you yet" he warned her huskily as he knelt down to kiss her stomach and down past her naval before he glided his tongue against her clitoris and he held onto her hips as she cried out in surprise, he didn't relent, he teased her with his mouth, gently nibbling and suckling until she almost screamed as the roller-coaster ride of feelings fired every nerve-ending until she felt like she was falling off a cliff into a pile of tingling ecstasy.

She came again and he watched her whole body shaking, she wouldn't be able to stand up for a few minutes so he slipped her feet out of the silver strappy heels and discarded them on the floor and he walked to the bathroom to get some condoms from his medicine cabinet. When he returned he saw she'd moved herself up towards the pillows with the duvet thrown back and grinning at him as she crooked a finger at him in a come here motion.

"Echolls…" she purred.

 _Like I'd be going anywhere else…_ he mused.

Logan couldn't take his eyes off her as opened his trousers and pulled himself free of his boxers, and he could see her drink him in with her baby blue eyes. His desire was evident for her to see and he put the condom on before joining her in the bed, crawling along the length of her body and grabbing her legs behind the knees as he lowered himself until their bodies synced up but not quite together yet.

"Veronica…" he whispered as he tenderly cupped her face and kissed her, his brown eyes focused on her reaction carefully as he pressed his hips forwards and filled her slowly, shuddering as her warmth clenched around him tightly.

 _Oh God she felt so good…_

He began a steady rhythm as he trust in and out of her and she playful nibbled his lower lip, gradually increasing his pace as she kissed him purposefully and began to move her hips in time with him, her hands gripping his ass. Her eyes devoured him and she bit her lip, pushing him away when he got very close to losing control so she could spin them until he was beneath her and she climbed on top, burying his hard shaft in her petite body as she rode him at a gallop as their pulses raced and he cried out her name, his hands on her hips, controlling the movements, they continued this energetic pace until she came, shaking above him unable to move. Logan held her against him and turned them back over so he could increase the motion. He needed to possess her, his hands hungrily caressed her breasts and cupped her face between kisses. The look in his gaze made Veronica feel like he was passing the core of his soul to her and she felt her eyes welling a little as their bodies collided, this was no ordinary love… she could recognise that, being with him made the rest of the world fall away.

 _Like I'm finally at the centre of the universe where everything begins and ends all at the same time…_

She felt like she was home, his lips, his body... he was always meant to be hers and she was his...

Logan groaned helplessly and buried his head against her shoulder as her body gripped him tighter and sweat beaded his forehead, the sensations were going to make him lose control, her petite body beneath him, her hands on his skin, the taste of her in his mouth. They had driven him to the precipice several times but he held back, he didn't want to stop, he wanted to make the moment last.

 _They were lovers now…_

This surpassed any dream he had ever had about the two of them together, there was no line between them now, they ended and began in the same place, right here. He braced his hands against her hips as he continued to pounded more eagerly into her and was rewarded by her gasping in pleasure, her eyes widened in surprise, she was going to come again… this time with him. He was done trying to hold out… He kissed her and delved in deeper, driving them towards the edge and she called out his name as he released himself while she pulsed around him in lingering waves. It was his most intense and earth shattering climax and couldn't have felt any closer to her as he did right now.

 _They had barely spoken since they had left the dance, their bodies had done all the talking…_

Then it came, that familiar moment of clarity, like he seeing things clearly for the first time. This love was irrevocable, and wanted nothing more than to protect her, to make her happy, to be with her, to be hers. He never wanted to lose the way he felt when she looked at him like this… this peace.

Her blue eyes sparkled as they stayed locked with his as he lay down on the mattress, opposite her.

 _He wanted to tell her how he felt… but were words really necessary? Tonight had been so powerful… so cosmic… so binding… he didn't want to pressure her too much… her love would come in time…_

"Thank you for an amazing time." she said sleepily as her fingers entwined with his and she gave him a long slow kiss before turning and guided his arms around her until she was spooned, naked curled against him and he held her tighter. He could spend his whole life right here. He smiled happily in response.

 _I would do this every night if I could…_

Satisfied, content, their breaths slowed until they finally drifted off to sleep.


	30. Chapter 30

(Song for this Scene – Two Feet – I feel like I'm drowning)

The first inklings that she wasn't alone was the feel of someone else warmth curled around her like a second skin and Veronica only became aware of the strong arm holding her when she tried to sit up and it cuddled her closer. She ground her teeth against the brain fog, the sudden nausea that flipped her stomach as she tried to untangle herself from the body next to her.

 _She was naked… and so was this other person…_

She opened her eyes and felt a well of panic when she didn't recognise anything in the room she was in. Confused and disorientated, her body felt eagerly aware of the man curled beside her… intimately so.

 _This can't be happening to me again…_

Veronica felt her eyes well with tears as she began shaking, feeling the unseen stranger shift and kiss her shoulder. He moaned happily against her ear. She was paralysed, where were her clothes? She didn't want to turn around. She wanted try to get out of bed without disturbing the other person until she could figure out what was going on.

The fog in her brain was freaking her out she didn't even have a vague recollection, her head was pounding and it felt like her temples were throbbing, she was dizzy. She didn't feel hungover… and that sour taste from the last time she had woken up from being drugged at Shelley's party wasn't in her mouth.

This was something else, she was unable to remember the past 24 hours, everything was hazy.. maybe it was longer? She was hyperaware of the masculine hand between her breasts, holding her against his chest. She took a deep breath and tried to control the urge to scream. She knew she'd had sex, something inside her felt warmer and swollen, sensitive, stretched, her hips ached a little from where her legs had been spread, it wasn't soreness, but she felt a little fatigued.

She feel how snuggly the unconscious amorous stranger was, summoning up her courage she steeled herself. Veronica gripped one of the fitted bedsheets that was coiled around her leg and pulled it around her body as she removed the arm from around her and slid out of the bed, chancing casting a brief glance over her shoulder she almost yelped in shock.

 _Logan? Logan Echolls?_

Her eyes darted around the room; it was beginning to look more familiar now the décor had changed a lot over the last year but a quick glance out the window… she was at the Echolls estate.

 _What was she doing here? In bed of all places?! With LOGAN!_

She looked around frantically for her clothes, the only thing she could find was a black pair of panties and a teal silk evening dress… in her size?

 _What was going on? Where are my clothes?_

 _Oh God… How much time was missing?_

Veronica tried to piece together the last things she could remember to try and stifle the rising panic attack threatening to send the floor up to meet her. Painfully aware of how compromised her position now was, she pulled on the black underwear and buttoned the white shirt she found on the floor.

 _Where was her phone?_

She grabbed the small silver clutch bag and frantically looked at the date. December 9th 2017.

This had to be a mistake… the last thing she remembered was… a case… her dad and Cliff McCormack had been working on a case involving another student at her school… Weevil… and a missing credit card?

That had been in early October..

She didn't have her car keys… _how did she get here?_

Veronica crept into the bathroom and closed the door over, trying desperately to call home.

 _Come on… Come on… Dad pick up…._

No one answered and her dad's cell phone went straight through to his do not disturb message like it did when he was on a stake out.

"Veronica?" Logan's voice called out sleepily, his tone was warm, and the way he said her name sounded so… intimate... so _familiar_ … like the way someone might call out for their lover.

She took notice of her bed ruffled unkempt blond hair and her swollen lips… she looked like a woman who had just spent the night having sex. She heard him get out of the bed and clamped her hand over her mouth to prevent the sob from escaping but she couldn't stop the first few tears.

 _What was she doing here?_

 _Had this been an after party? That dress… Had they been to a Premiere with his dad? Was this a case?_

She searched through the silver clutch again and found a photograph of the two of them standing together smiling… Homecoming?

 _This didn't make any sense… the last time she'd woken up like this… had been after Shelley's party… when someone had…_

"Veronica?" he asked again. "Everything okay?"

The question made her want to cry out loud hysterical.

 _No… everything was so far beyond okay…_

She bit her lip and opened the bathroom door to see him standing in pair of sweatpants, an appreciative lopsided grin as he saw her standing in the doorway in his shirt.

 _Okay.. this morning she looked adorable_ Logan thought.

"Hey" he smiled cheerfully.

She didn't say anything at first, she just averted his gaze and it was then the first notion of disaster spiralled through him, not a full blown realization, just a bizarre deduction of something too terrible to entertain. It was in the way she held her arms across her chest protectively… had she been crying?

"Veronica?" he asked tenderly as he stepped forwards.

"What am I doing here?" she choked.

Her words took him by surprise, like a pit-bull going for his throat.

"What do you mean?" he replied confused at first but that's when he noticed what was wrong… her eyes were full of distrust and suspicion… that warm look in her eyes from last night was gone…

That's when the Earth fell off its Axis… it was like a glacial wall between them now… she was staring at him like the Old Veronica used to.

"I mean…. Why did I wake up bed… with _you_?" she demanded.

 _No… No… No… she didn't forget…_

"Veronica…" he said desperately stepping forwards.

 _She had to remember… this couldn't be happening to him again…._

"Don't touch me!" she yelped and backed away from him towards the bedroom door.

 _Don't… touch..?_

"Wait… we need to talk…" he told her. "W-what's going on…?"

 _Veronica please… last night had been everything… she couldn't have forgotten.._

"What's going on is that apparently this nightmare I'm having where I woke up naked and alone in a bedroom with you is reality…" Veronica told him coldly. "How did I get here?"

 _Nightmare I'm having?_

"Homecoming… we went together… Veronica…" he pleaded. "You don't remember me?"

"I remember you just fine... you're Logan Echolls… Neptune High Schools own personal obligatory psychotic jackass… what I want to know is… how did I get _here_?" she snapped, anger was easier to grasp onto than the helplessness she was feeling.

"You don't remember…" he said faintly and he looked like she had punched the wind right out of him. "You've been having… memory problems lately…" he tried to explain through lump forming in his throat.

"Really! You think so?!" she scoffed defensively, _why did he keep looking at her like that?_

"Look… you wanted to be here…" he assured her desperately.

 _Please remember Veronica… look at me…_

"Whaat?" She asked in disbelief. "Did I develop memory problems or did I lose my damn mind?" she exclaimed angrily.

"It wasn't like that…" he croaked.

"I'd like to be able to agree with you but I'm a little fuzzy on the details!" she snapped. "So what.. you waited until I couldn't remember what an asshole you are before you made your move?"

"No… I love you… we are dating…" he begged. "Call Daisy… call Wallace or Meg…"

"Daisy?" she asked. "We _are_ dating?"

Veronica felt sick again… how much time was gone? Her head was pounding and nothing he was saying was making any sense…

"Your dad's assistant… Please... one of them can confirm what I'm saying…" he pleaded.

"Really? They all know I spent the night having sex with you?" she demanded as she stepped back from him again, and the nausea came back when she noticed the discarded condoms on the floor.

 _She had to remember… if she'd just let him touch her… she had to remember last night…_

"Not that part.." he admitted "but they can tell you that we are seeing each other"

His brown eyes looked so earnest… he believed what he was telling her.

"Please Veronica…" he choked, his eyes were welling with tears. "We should get you checked out… call your dad…"

"I did… he isn't answering" she told him.

 _She'd already tried to leave?_

"He's in LA…" Logan explained as something in his chest twisted in pain.

"And your parents?" she asked finally, there's no way they were here with all this yelling going on.

"San Diego" he elaborated.

"And my car?" she added, pursing her lips.

"We took a Limo" he told her quietly.

 _Of course they did.. because there was absolutely no other way to make her feel more trapped right now than she already did…_

"Then a cab it is…" she said as she hugged her dress tighter to herself. _Where were her shoes?_

"Can we figure this out? Veronica… you need to go to a hospital…" he said, worry was all over his face.

"I _need_ to get away from _you_ … and to go home" she scolded him.

The words sliced through him.

"Did I bring anything else?" she sighed helplessly while she held the dress in her hands, scanning the room for her shoes. _She needed to alone… she needed space to breathe.. to process to think…_

"No… last night wasn't planned…" he told her.

"Like that makes me feel so much better…" she said as the first tear escaped her eyes and he felt like she had slapped him when he tried to put his arms around her again and she backed away.

"I'll get you something of Trina's" he said quietly as he motioned for her to let him past and she nodded gratefully stepping aside.

It wasn't until he got into his sister bedroom that he buried his head in his hands and cried.

 _She was gone… last night… erased… she was herself again it seemed.._

"Because I knew in a million years she'd never look at you!" Duncan had snapped… and he'd been right.

 _Why had he believed even for a second that it might be otherwise?_


	31. Chapter 31

"I still don't know why I'd have ended up going to Homecoming with _you_ " Veronica exclaimed as she sat in the Echolls family kitchen with the cold cup of black coffee in front of her. "What I lost my memories and suddenly it's bygones?" she asked coldly as she put the picture of the two of them back onto the table.

 _He had hated her… he'd tried to get her to turn on her father… he had abandoned her… why would she have forgiven him?_

"It didn't happen overnight…" Logan said quietly pacing as they waited for her father's assistant to come and pick her up. _How could all of this have gone so wrong? Last night had been perfect…_

"No… apparently it takes… what 8 weeks?" she quipped sarcastically. She was freaking out… there were holes in her memory… there was truth to what he was saying, the photograph was right there… she just couldn't break through that wall… had her father found out about her investigation into Lilly's death?

"Do you think it was easy what happened to you?" he snapped. "You just weren't you anymore… you were just gone… and then you told me I was the only thing you could remember… and I missed you… we set aside our differences.."

 _"I'm sorry Logan… for not being here for you… after everything"_

He had been a fool to think this could have lasted. She would barely look at him, she sat dressed in a pair of Trina's workout bottoms and one of his hoodies.

"You really don't remember anything?" he asked hopelessly and she shook her head no. He wanted to reach out and touch her, pull her to him, kiss her…

 _There had to be some trace… some echo of what they had shared still in there somewhere._

"Veronica?" Daisy called as she entered the hallway.

"Here" she answered as she stood up and saw a tall slender Latina girl in dark skinny jeans, a biker jacket and an Iron Maiden t-shirt enter. She didn't recognise her either but she seemed to know her.

"I've called your dad, he's on his way back. Dr Sorrell is waiting for us at Neptune Sacred Heart Hospital, they need to get you in for some tests… so I'm going to drive you, and in a little while Cliff is going to come by" Daisy explained.

Veronica cast a quick glance at Logan who was watching her carefully, she didn't really know this girl, but anywhere was better than being stuck here under his gaze.

"Wallace is going to meet us there… come Oublio, let's get you out of here" she said handing Veronica the small Blue bag that she usually kept in the office of her clothes for emergencies… like the time the 09er girls hid all of her stuff in the Janitors closet mop bucket and she had to get her dad to bring her spares.

"Okay… sounds good, thanks" she said putting the bag over her shoulder and walking out towards the car.

"She's going to be alright" Daisy assured Logan who'd felt like his knees were going to buckle at the agony of her just walking away without so much as a goodbye. "She keeps a journal… I'll make sure she reads it" she promised.

Her father was back by the time the CT test was completed and eventually She was sent to visit the consultant, Dr Jeremiah Holtz, he seemed rather intrigued by her secondary symptoms. She ran her fingers over the small scar tissue behind her left ear, it felt strange.

"As you have been made aware you were first diagnosed with retrograde amnesia as a result of a mild seizure, during which you sustained a head injury. You have been undergoing treatment for that as we have been waiting for the cranial swelling to subside, the swelling itself seemed to have created a total loss of all memories prior to the incident on 17th October 2017. You had been reporting some minor incidents of recall… We have run several tests and what we have got is a single-photon-emission computerized tomography scan, or a SPECT scan, which revealed a profound lack of blood flow to the right temple and frontal lobes of the brain where it is believed that long-term memory is stored. Your recent _activity_ has triggered a separate event called _transient global amnesia_ TGA. It's sudden but temporary memory loss following some strenuous or stressful event" he explained.

"Strenuous… like for example…." She said shyly. _Vigorous sex with Logan Echolls?_

"Sex-induced memory loss it is thought to be a temporary thing but because it comes on suddenly and causes complete memory loss, it can be worrying for those who experience it… in your case as the lack of blood flow to the right temple and frontal lobes of the brain were causing your memory blockages, this TGA may resulted from the deactivation of the brain's temporal lobes or thalamus which is the part of the brain that serves as a centre for the relay of sensory information. Causing a sort of recalibration… a clean wipe" Dr Holtz told her simply.

"My brain has been recalibrated?" Veronica asked.

"In a manner of speaking yes… we still don't know the long term effects but your blood results show the gonadocorticoids and gonadal steroids in your blood stream seem to have improved neurological functionality. In most cases, the amnesia is anterograde, meaning people have trouble forming new memories. Sometimes, people also experience transient retrograde amnesia, forgetting some portion of their previous memories. You seem to have suffered a bit of both of these phenomena" He elaborated.

"So I've gotten the old ones back… but I can't recall the new ones now?" she summarised. _Like the ones where apparently Logan Echolls has fallen in love with me?_

"For the moment, it would appear so… but those could return in time also" Dr Holtz explained.

"Is there a risk of another seizure?" she asked.

"Not as long as you continue to take your medication" he told her.

"We will see you both back here next week" Dr Sorrell told Keith and Veronica as they stood outside the office.

"Thank you Doctor" Keith told her. "Are you okay sweetheart?"

"Yeah… I just wanna go home and cuddle up with the only sane member left in the Mars family" she told him.

"Backup drinks out of the toilet…" Keith joked. "I'm just saying…"

"Let's go home dad" she said giving him a big hug and he was grateful she couldn't see the relief on his face… his baby was back again.


	32. Chapter 32

(Song for this Scene - Etham - Better Now)

Logan Echolls felt numb, perhaps his heart needed more time to accept what his mind already knew? It was over.

 _Don't fall in love… fall off a bridge, it hurts less._

"There are plenty of ways to die but only love can kill you and keep you alive to feel it" he mumbled to himself as he picked up his tuxedo jacket, and then he found them, the corsage of forget me nots tucked safely into the pocket.

 _She had been right here… they'd made love… they'd connected… that had been real…_

Veronica didn't remember their time together, how was that possible?

 _"So what.. you waited until I couldn't remember what an asshole you are before you made your move?"_

Is that what he had done? He'd always felt something for her.

 _"I can't…" he'd gasped as she had straddled him during their make out session in his car._

 _"Why?" she protested, her blue eyes begging him to continue._

 _"I don't want to take advantage…" he sighed._

 _"You aren't… I want this too" Veronica assured him_

He hadn't imagined that… their date? Her arms around his neck while she danced with him under the tin foil stars at Homecoming? The moon had split apart and those stars were crumpled now.

She hadn't replied to his texts asking if she was okay... Ghosts of their night together started to filter into his mind.

 _"Echolls…" she'd called to him as she had sat naked against the pillows with the duvet thrown back and grinning at him as she crooked a finger at him in a come here motion._

 _"Having memory problems doesn't give you an excuse to be a bitch!" he had yelled at her that day on the beach after she had first kissed him._

Even Caitlin had seen right through his feelings for Veronica when he hadn't been ready to accept them himself. _"You alienate everyone who cares about you and I am tired of trying to hold your attention when all you do is give into your little Veronica Mars infatuation"_

Logan had allowed himself to believe that her feelings for him had been real… but hadn't he been told all along that she was in recovery?

 _"She's in recovery… what the hell is wrong with you? You are infatuated with her… obsessed… you have been for a while, don't think I haven't noticed" Duncan had accused him_.

It felt like all the criticism and voices were screaming in his head all at once, but none of it compared to the memory of her standing here in his bedroom, that glacial wall in her blue eyes.

 _"Don't touch me!" she had yelped and backed away from him towards the bedroom door._

Logan headed to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of scotch. He was too sober for all of this.

 _"Thank you for an amazing time." she had smiled sleepily and her fingers entwined with his and she had fallen asleep satisfied, content spooned, naked curled against him and he held her all night._

He sobbed as he struggled with getting the bottle open.

She didn't remember any of it… the first girl he'd fallen in love with since Lilly had been murdered… now what was he supposed to do?

 _He was in love with her… they'd spent the night together… for a single moment he had felt like the universe wasn't out to crush him… she wasn't going to be easy to forget.._

Her father's assistant had said that she kept a journal… would that help? He hoped so…

It was a cruel irony all the hours he had spent with Ms James crying because the felt like this Veronica was lost to him forever… now he had her… he wanted His Veronica back…

She had abandoned him again… only this time there was no explanation… now he really would have to deal with seeing the face of girl he loved walking around with no recollection that she ever cared about him that way at all. He had been so afraid of getting attached to her… and she probably wouldn't think he was even worth an explanation…

What was he meant to do now? Ignore her? Let her pretend he didn't exist?

It wasn't supposed to end like this.


	33. Chapter 33

Veronica didn't sleep at all on Saturday night when she got home from the hospital, instead she sat curled at her computer after successfully cracking her new password with Cindy "Mac" MacKenzies help. She had blushed when she'd googled the _transient global amnesia_ Dr Holtz had told her about.

 _According to Google.. Mind Blowing Sex was actually a thing. It wouldn't have happened unless it had been mind-bending, earth shattering sex..._

 _With Logan Echolls..._

The last 8 weeks weren't completely missing, but she just got fragments of random events…

a basketball game with Wallace…

Lunch with Natalie and Meg…

Rick Pickett shouting at her in the Mall?

But most of it felt like it had happened to someone else. Nothing about Logan, except the physical reminders of last night… it didn't hurt, she just felt different, oddly _relaxed_. They'd been _together_ … and she could still feel the intimate _awareness_ of that coupling.

 _At least we were safe..._

Her father's new assistant Daisy was very nice to her on the way to the Neptune Sacred Heart Hospital in a concerned big sister kind of way, but she did confirm Logan's story. They _had_ been dating and her consultant had explained that the sex-induced whatever it was.. had brought back her memories by kind of rebooting her sensory neural pathways or something?

 _God I don't even want to think about the medical bills from this... not to mention the job we lost out on when he had to come back early from L.A._

"All thanks to Logan and his magical penis" Veronica muttered sarcastically.

What was she supposed to do with this information? One minute she's stressing out about having to spend the afternoon alone with Duncan Kane, her first love… and now…?

 _Logan was Lilly's boyfriend… Duncan's best friend… her enemy… he's going to want to know what happened... how the hell do I explain that?_

"You wanted to be here… I love you… we are dating…" he had begged.

Now that the initial panic had subsided she was stuck replaying this morning in her head, he had been distraught… was she just to supposed to forgive the last year of hell he had put her through?

 _Are you okay? L_

She ignored the text, she couldn't deal with him right now. What was she supposed to say? Did they keep dating? Were they broken up? Were they ever even really together if she couldn't remember it?

 _Why am I dealing with relationship drama for a relationship I was never in?_

That had been some Other Veronica. Some other girl who didn't remember Lilly Kane but continued to try and solve her murder… seems even with no memories intuition was still her superpower…

Some other girl who had gone to Homecoming with "Hottest kiss of her life" Logan Echolls… some other girl who had wrote this journal…

 _I like me better..._

If her powers of deduction were even half of what they had previously been, it seemed like the trend was the more time she had spent with Logan.. the more of her memories had been coming back.

 _Sucks for Logan._

"Settling back in okay honey?" Keith asked as he brought her a cup of hot chocolate.

"It's 3am, what are you still doing up?" Veronica queried as she stretched in her chair.

"I could say the same thing to you" he replied.

"Nothing like waking up with no memory to make you fear the Sandman" she quipped as she took the cup gratefully and smelled the warm liquid chocolate.

"You can't avoid sleep forever" he warned, concern in his hazel eyes.

"I know… I'm just trying to figure out… where I go from here" she sighed.

 _How much of Lilly's murder investigation had she discovered but now forgotten?_

 _How could she step into the 09er friendly shoes of a girl who'd built a life without all of her mistrust?_

 _How do I deal with a lovesick Logan?_

 _How would she deal with an angry Logan who knew what it was like to have had sex with her?_

"Dr Sorrell is sure that the recent tests show that the risk of another seizure are very low… as for everything else… just take it one day at a time. _Everybody_ else will just have to accept those terms" he reassured her.

 _Everybody… meaning Logan._

"Thanks dad" she said as he gave her a quick hug.

Sunday morning she surveyed the contents of her wardrobe, despairingly it seemed that Other Veronica had hidden away most of her favourite band t-shirts… and her DM's had been shoved into the back of her wardrobe. There were a lot of new items in there too… things like she had used to wear when she was with Lilly. They would be her camouflage.

"Hey Wallace" she smiled as he arrived at her house later that afternoon.

"Hi Supafly" he smiled weakly as he pulled her into a fierce hug. "You gotta stop doing this…"

"Working on it" she quipped quietly, she was moved, he had been a really good friend.

"Hey Mr Mars" Wallace said as he came in and handed him the small grocery bag.

"Hi Wallace" he smiled.

Gumbo and Game Night. Apparently in the last 8 weeks or so this had become a kind of ritual between the three of them.

"You do know I'm a baseball fan right?" Veronica joked.

"Sheesh… there was less complaining out of you when you couldn't remember you weren't a super basketball fan yet" Wallace joked.

"Yet?" she laughed.

"Oh Honey…" Keith pouted as he pulled out a small San Diego Sails basketball jersey with Mars written on the back.

"No!" she gasped in horror.

 _They'd turned her into one of those tacky jersey wearing screaming at the tv super fans?_

"Yes Mars!" Wallace giggled as he tapped her in the head with a large foam finger.

"No way…." She protested.

"Oh come on Honey.. Embrace it….." her dad laughed as he tugged the jersey over her head.

"My vengeance will be fast and swift" she warned as she tugged her arms into it and watched as Wallace settled up onto the sofa with a bowl of gumbo and her dad joined them.

Gumbo and Basketball she could live with.

If only she didn't have to face whatever changes were coming when she got to school tomorrow.


	34. Chapter 34

(Song for this scene SYML - Where's my love?)

Neptune High School had a problem with mistaken identity today, most of the 09ers and other students had been oddly cheerful to see her today, everyone except Weevil and the other PCHers. She was actually amazed she hadn't ended up getting crowned Homecoming Queen Veronica given the bizarro world she had found herself. Nope that honour had gone to Faith Schultz… and Duncan Kane.

Homecoming King and Queen.

She was still dwelling on it when she was interrupted by one very bubbly redhead in a green dress.

"Morning Veronica" May McConnell chirped.

"Hi…" she smiled politely.

According to Captains Log Other Veronica... they were friends now… sort of.

"Did you have a good time on Friday?" she asked.

"Yeah… it was the best" Veronica smiled awkwardly as she did her best to keep walking from her LeBaron parked in the usual spot. Getting her dad to agree to allow her to drive herself this morning had been harder than she thought.

 _What was the protocol here?_

"Well you missed a great after party, but we are having another baking session for the Christmas fundraiser next weekend, if you want to join us?" she offered.

 _Baking session? May was on the student council… and the fundraising committee…_

"Sounds great… email me the details and I'll check" Veronica smiled in faux enthusiasm but her companion didn't seem to notice.

"Excellent, well have an amazing day and I'll see you at lunch" she chirped again before she headed off towards the rest of the group of student council trustees. Natalie waved to her and she returned the gesture awkwardly.

 _How the hell was someone so upbeat at this ungodly hour of the morning without an IV drip of coffee? Invasion of the Bubbleheads indeed._

She had a meeting with Vice Principal Clemmons before her first class to discuss the changing medical issues, and the relapse of the amnesia… about her amnesia. Would this ever get straightened out? Thinking about it made her head hurt.

"You okay?" Meg asked as she saw Veronica leaning against her locker and rubbing her temples.

"Yeah.. just trying to untangle the mess of me that's threatening to unravel in my head" she quipped. "It's good to see you"

"When Wallace told me what had happened… do they know if it's going to happen again?" she asked, concern flooding her big blue eyes.

"No seizures, as for… I don't know…" Veronica told her quietly. She wasn't exactly sure _how_ much of the details about her recent return from the realms of oblivion had been shared.

She knew from the diary that Meg and Wallace were dating now and that Meg had been a really good friend to her when she had needed it. But she wasn't even sure how much of the details of how the _recalibration_ had happened her own father knew… although he was a brilliant private detective, it wouldn't be hard to guess what had happened alone on an overnight stay at the Echolls family home between two teenagers who were seeing each other.

The thought of it still made her a little ill. There was no guide book for how to navigate this stuff… there was only her.

Meg looked at her with that same sad expression that Daisy had given her when she'd picked her up to take her to the hospital. _Was everyone suddenly Team Logan now?_

"Maybe I should just have gone to that after party?" she joked.

 _Then I wouldn't have to be dealing with this and Logan Echolls wouldn't be looking at me like that right now._ Veronica thought bitterly as she looked down the corridor and saw the stomach churning expression of hope in his eyes.

 _I'm not ready to deal with this right now…_

"Have you talked to him?" Meg asked softly.

"Nope… and I've got to go and see Mr Clemmons so I'll catch you later" Veronica smiled weakly as she put her bag quickly into her locker and bolted towards the Vice Principals office.

 _He hadn't hurt her… but being close to him right now was too much…_

Logan felt like his knees were going to buckle when he saw Veronica cast a quick glance over her shoulder at him before she took off in the other direction.

 _Please talk to me…_

She hadn't replied to his texts. Wallace hadn't been working at the Sac-N-Pac last night. He'd called the Mars Investigations office and her father had told him to give her time to settle at home so he hadn't bothered her. He hadn't been able to sleep… he missed her.

 _He was going out of his mind…_

This was the first time he had seen her since she had practically ran from his kitchen after their night together, and she wouldn't even slow down long enough to tell him she was okay.

 _Had she read the journal?_

Logan felt like he couldn't breathe, he could feel his heart shatter right there in the corridor. She hadn't even had to say a single word to shred his inside apart. This feeling was wretched, he could feel this tearing his heart into bits, but he still wanted to pick up every single piece and offer it back to her.

He had fallen in love with her… and he wasn't going to survive the landing.

"Dude! You coming? We got a quiz!" Dick called as he headed towards Mr Wu's biology class.

"Yeah" he sighed before he turned to get his own books from his locker.

"We see no reason to have you resit your make up exams, so those credits will be added to your record, and the faculty will be told to just give you finals quiz based on the learning prior to your more recent memory trouble" Mr Clemmons had told her.

 _At least she hadn't lost her place with the Kane Scholarship._

"In light of your recent medical issues, it has been advised that you perhaps attend some counselling sessions with Ms James to assess how you are coping and give you the support that you need" Mr Clemmons informed her.

"That won't be necessary, I am okay" Veronica told him.

"Unfortunately, it is more of a _requirement_ in this instance" he said sympathetically.

 _You mean to cover your asses…_

"Of course. I'll get right on it" Veronica agreed.

 _If by right on it you mean spend the entire hour just staring blankly at her not talking until you decide to stop wasting all of our times…._

Logan had drifted numbly through most of his classes, unable to remove the recurring thoughts of the scent of her hair, the taste of her mouth, the touch of her skin, the feeling of her writhing beneath him as her eyes widened when she came and he filled her, holding her protectively in his arms… she was more than his lover… she was his other half… how was he supposed to keep moving forward? He couldn't save her... he couldn't bring her back...

 _He couldn't drown the memories… they knew how to swim._

 _He wished they'd never met... if he'd never laid eyes on her... then he'd never have fallen in love with her..._

"Madison's ordering from that Thai place if you want something?" Dick offered as they wandered into the food court.

"Nah man I'm good" Logan said glumly.

He was hoping to see Veronica, maybe get a chance to talk to her, his eyes scanned the tables for that familiar blond hair and he felt like he had just been smacked by a wrecking ball.

She was there, sitting with Wallace and Meg… staring across the table laughing, her eyes were smiling… right at Duncan Kane.

 _I think I just found Hell…_


	35. Chapter 35

The diary had mentioned that there was another receiver for the Homecoming pin bugs in the trophy case, she would have to collect it this afternoon. At least she had kept a record of her movements, there were documents to be picked up this Wednesday regarding Abel Koontz family tree.

 _What had she been looking for?_

Most of her classes felt a little like she had been dropped off in the middle of play and she didn't know any of the lines, there was even a word for the feeling.

 _Depaysement, taking someone out of their own familiar world and putting them into a new one._

Homework was going to be big on her list of things to catch up on. Thankfully Daisy was around to pick up the slack in the office while she dealt with being down the rabbit hole.

Veronica switched her ipod music player to Natalia Kills – Wonderland and slipped her headphones in as she sat in the library and did her best to quiet the questions in her head. At least here in the back quiet rooms she was alone, she could gather her thoughts. Plot some moves ahead.

She had sat with Natalie, May, Wallace, Meg and Duncan at lunch today, whatever attraction she'd had for Duncan was just gone… she might as well have been looking at her brother. She had missed seeing him smile.

The rest of the pretending to be civil with the rest of the 09ers was really starting to grate on her, she was finding it difficult to bury the hatchet with people who had bullied and mocked her for a year. They had broken the wrong parts of her, they had forgotten that she had claws, who she was and who she had become in order to survive were very different things. Whoever had killed Lilly Kane had fashioned her into a weapon, they had left her damaged, and damaged people were dangerous because they knew how to survive.

 _What was she going to do about Logan? She couldn't avoid him forever…_

She should have been in Physical Education right now, but the schools nurse had recommended that she be excused for the next few weeks until any danger of a relapse could be fully investigated by the medical team. Newspaper class was in one hour.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Tonight had been completely unexpected... If there was such a thing as a perfect night I never want to forget… it was tonight._

 _Logan Echolls… you are stealing my heart._

Except she had forgotten, it was her voice, her words but nowhere did she mention anything about their reconciliation, just that she had been falling for Logan.. that he'd been the only thing she had felt that had stayed familiar after her seizure.

Veronica felt like she had just taken a quick break in the middle of watching a movie and come back just in time to have completely missed the most crucial parts.

 _How was the psychotic jackass who'd let down her tires the same person who'd looked so heartbroken in the corridor today?_

Why was the way he felt her burden?

 _I am not who I was…_

This wasn't a Disney movie… a kiss wasn't going to fix this. She didn't want them to have to spend the next however long reading into every word they said to each other. She was sorry he was hurting. She couldn't imagine what he must be feeling right now.

 _Cut him loose… it's not fair to lead him on…_

They hadn't even discussed if they were still dating, although that probably could have happened had she answered one of the several texts he had sent her over the last two days.

 _Trouble usually finds me…_

The truth is, her tongue was a weapon, and right now she'd felt so on edge and up in the air, she didn't trust herself not to say the wrong thing. If those memories didn't come back, which the jury was still out on whether or not that's what she wanted… then loving her was going to ruin his life. Once she made that first step, she couldn't take it back. Veronica honestly didn't know how he would react. Lilly had told her about the aftermath of their many break-ups… he was relentless. When he fell for someone, it was intense, it was always an on/off game.

 _What if he wanted to keep dating?_

 _They'd already slept together, he knew her in the biblical sense… what if he expected that again?_

 _What if she didn't want to keep dating and he used that against her?_

It was all such a mess.

Logan Echolls, was a womanizer, a liar, a trouble maker. He slept around and he had made her life miserable… he was Lilly's boyfriend.

 _Did she want to keep dating?_

She could remember the feel of him curled around her like a second skin, his arms holding her protectively as she slept, that sleepy unconscious kiss on her shoulder. The _absence_ of where his body had locked together with hers..

Some twisted part of her missed that… it ached… and she was trying her best to ignore it.

She owed him an explanation. She knew it.

 _Library, 5 minutes. V_

She sent the text and prayed that she knew what she was doing.


	36. Chapter 36

(Song for this Scene Julia Michaels – Worst in Me & Sam Tinnesz – Hold on for your life)

Veronica didn't know why she was so anxious, just because they'd had an incredible night of sex that she couldn't remember didn't mean that he suddenly had some kind of power over her. His claim that they had been dating had taken her by surprise that morning, that and the nightmare of waking up again looking for her underwear with memories missing. She wasn't even sure what this little chat was going to be about. She just knew they had to talk this out.

Logan wasn't sure why he was putting himself through this as he left study hall to go to the library… he was desperate for answers, but he already knew all he needed to know. The look in her eyes on Saturday morning had shown no love there… she'd been like a trapped deer, she couldn't have gotten away from him quick enough.

 _She still wanted Duncan._

Had always wanted Duncan… he'd always known it, but instead he had preferred to indulge himself in the gratifying possibility that she had secretly wanted him too. He'd always imagined that she would taste like heaven, now he knew.

 _One night with her would never be enough._

Veronica was sitting focused on her AP English textbook in the small alcove at the back of the library when he found her. This was torture, she was right here; he could see her, touch her… only she no longer looked at him like he was someone worth seeing. He felt a rupture deep inside him from where she should be.

 _Okay Logan… go and talk to her, staring at her like this is just being weird…_

She felt his presence almost like a physical touch, sensing his gaze on her, she visibly stiffened a little, taking out her headphones and brushing her skirt, she took a deep breath and walked towards him. A tingling awareness flowed through her as she ran her gaze over his tall and muscular athletic physique, it was like he went on forever. Heat crept into her cheeks. The sheer brawn of him, riveting and utterly unavoidable was the realization that Logan Echolls was a spectacularly beautiful product of nature. They had been intimately familiar with each other, he'd been deep inside her, and she could still remember the morning after the feel of him, the strength in those arms when they'd held her. She had to tell him… she had to explain, she owed him that much. She didn't want to be responsible for leaving him wondering with no explanation to the unanswered questions, no matter how awkward they were… she didn't want to cause him pain the way Duncan had hurt her… gone with no reason why.

"Gotta say, I was surprised to hear from you, I was starting to think you'd forgotten I existed" he quipped and watched as she bit her lip guiltily.

"Sorry, it's been a lot…" Veronica apologised, she'd hoped he would be a little less hurt looking, the Logan she remembered was much quicker to go on the defensive-or even on the attack-than look for ways to compromise and cooperate, this new lovesick Logan was something she hadn't been prepared for. "I needed time to process"

"Yeah, I know" Logan sighed "I was worried"

 _You could have at least texted… you never called me back… you would have if I'd been Duncan.._

"Well, I'm sure you can excuse me as you are aware, you giving a shit is a pretty new development for me" she reasoned. "I mean… for me.. a few weeks ago you were smashing the headlights in on my car"

 _She really doesn't remember…_

"Lately we've gotten… closer." he replied as he put his hands in his pockets to stifle the urge to pull her to him. It was strange, after their recent time together that he felt that he needed to physically restrain himself from touching her. He studied the emotions cascading through her beautiful blue eyes as she allowed that knowledge to sink in.

 _A lot closer…_

"Yeah, I realize that and I'm sorry… I just… didn't know how to talk to you" Veronica admitted, keeping a careful distance from him.

 _They had been naked together… had this entire romance that she knew nothing about… how could she deal with that?_

"You could've started with hello?" he uttered as his brown eyes bore into hers. "Look this is hard for me too…" he confessed stepping forwards. He just wanted to put his arms around her but she hadn't moved any closer since he had entered the room. "I'm in love with you Veronica…"

"Yeah, I was afraid you were going to say something like that" she swallowed, her blue eyes broke away from his. They were both hard wired to fight, to be argumentative by nature, but Veronica hoped that if she chose her words carefully she could maybe avoid it.

 _Afraid? God please don't shut me out again…_

"Do they even know what happened?" he asked his voice was thick with emotion.

 _Why is this happening to us?_

"The Doctors have a pretty good idea…" she told him cautiously. _How was she supposed to explain to him that their night together had erased the girl he loved?_

"And?" he prompted, his brown eyes were searching her face as he leaned back and sat on the edge of the table a few feet from her. Inching closer…

"It's like my brain has reset itself to before the seizure… so all that time in between is… lost" she explained.

 _It was just what he had been afraid of… please let this be temporary…_

"Do they know why?" he asked.

"Yeah, and you aren't going to like it" she said biting her lip.

Logan swallowed hard as the dread knotted in his stomach, and looked at her as she wrapped her arms around herself. Why wouldn't she _look_ at him?

 _Why was he suddenly very sure he was going to regret asking this?_

"I'm not?" he commented.

"It was That Night when we… it altered the brain chemistry and it uninstalled the switch back to factory settings" she blushed as she wished the ground would open up and swallow her. "And POOF!"

 _Bon voyage?_

"You mean… we did this?" he croaked.

 _No… No… No…. the night he'd made love to her had cost him the girl he loved? **He** had done this?_

"Yes" she confirmed as she watched him bury his hands in his hair.

"Is it permanent? Will those memories come back?" he asked as he stood up to face her.

 _If he had known, he never would have taken her to bed, never would have gotten hooked on making love to her._

"I don't know… nobody sure" Veronica told him. _Why couldn't he just go and find some other girl who wasn't going to hurt him?_ She thought helplessly.

"You kept a journal… wouldn't that help?" he suggested. He was grasping at straws now and he knew it.

 _You have to remember something…_

"I've read it… a few times now… I'm sorry Logan…" she said as his eyes welled up with tears. "I get now that, Homecoming was something that happened when I was in a certain frame of mind… but I'm not who I was… I don't.. recall those feelings. I wish I could… maybe if I knew more about… about our reconciliation I could bridge that gap? It still doesn't make sense to me."

 _How could I have forgiven you for throwing me away like that… for hurting me like you did over the past year? How much do you know about my investigation into Lilly's murder?_

"Everything was so good between us.." he breathed desperately. "What do you need right now?" _What can I do? How can I help fix this?_

"Space?" Veronica suggested. "More information?"

"Please Veronica… don't shut me out… "Logan pleaded. "You said… that you missed me… even from before… I'm your boyfriend… we don't have to go back to the way things were…"

 _You can find your way back to me… Don't let us end this way… I can't go back to that…_

"I don't want that either" she admitted. "I'm just trying to be honest… I do care about you Logan… Just not.."

 _Not like that… but you did before… it had been real… Don't leave me… try to come back… I need you…_

"Then why can't we try?" Logan asked. "Spend time with me… I'm going crazy not seeing you… maybe it will trigger something?" his voice was rough. He was so close to her he could almost cup her face, the warmth of him was radiating against her skin. She'd never seen this side of him before… it was overwhelming and the look in his eyes was intense. Desperate. Could it be that easy? Spend some more time with him and maybe it would all come back? Is that what she wanted?

"I still don't know how I could forgive you Logan… none of this feels real… I'm still waiting for someone to tell me that I'm just delirious and this is all some cruel prank… I mean you **_hated_** me… we were friends and I ** _needed_** you… and you just shut me out and left me ** _alone_**! You ** _hurt_** me… How could you do that?" Veronica sobbed. _The Logan she knew was narcissistic and mean… who was this person?_

"I'm here… come back to me…" he told her as he cupped her face and kissed her passionately.

 _Please come back… love me… don't be gone…_

"It doesn't work that way" she said gasping as she broke away from his mouth and stepping backwards, her mind reeling from the unexpected power of that kiss.

"I can't lose you.." he breathed. "Just tell me how to fix this… just tell me… what do you want me to do?"

 _Why wouldn't she just let him hold her?_

"I just don't know how to forgive you" she cried.

"Forgive me?" he lamented. _What was she talking about?_

"You put me through Hell Logan… you blamed me for Lilly…" Veronica exclaimed in despair _. How could he think that she could just ignore all of this? The graffiti on the walls… the bullying… the taunting?_

"You abandoned me… I was hurting…" he sobbed. _Surely they had already gotten over this? Surely that journal should have explained how much they'd missed each other? I know I was a jackass before… please forgive me…_

His words ignited something in her. _Exactly what had he led her to believe before so he could get her into bed with him? She should have known…_

"I abandoned ** _you_**? You tried to force me to **_choose_** between my father and the people tearing him down!" she snapped, her blue eyes flashing at him angrily.

 _No… they weren't going down this road again…._

"This again? Abel Koontz killed Lilly… your dad was wrong… how many times do we have to have this same argument? You agreed with me…." He pleaded. "Surely if you just took a step back…"

 _If she just took a step back and analysed it with fresh eyes like last time?_

"We gotta stop before we say something we regret" she warned him as she glared.

 _No… he couldn't stop now… she had to hear him out…_

"It's too late to go back now… I thought you'd finally have come to your senses…" he begged. "If you'd just calm down… I want to talk to you about Us"

 _I'm borderline obsessed with you… please don't ask me to let go.. I can't…_

"I'm so stupid… I should've known… thanks.. for making this easy" she scoffed as she turned from him and shoved her book into her bag. He felt something twist in his chest. "This isn't going to work.."

"Wait… It can work…" he pleaded. "Veronica… please…"

 _Was she saying it was over? Couldn't she see what she was doing to him? Come on baby… it's us.. you have to remember…_

"Go to Hell Logan" she snapped picking up her bag and walking past him. He hadn't changed at all…

"Would you just hear me out?" he asked as he tried to catch hold of her hand.

 _No… No… No…. History was repeating itself… they'd had this conversation in this very library before…_

"What more do you want? I was willing to hear you out, but now I've heard enough" she told him coldly and pulled her hand away from his reach. "This was a mistake." She had wanted to give him a chance… and he'd shown his true colours, again.

"A mistake? Please just give me a chance…" he choked.

"Why would I do that? I finally just got my sanity back" Veronica answered before she tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear. _They brought out the worst in each other… how could this ever work between them?_

 _Her Sanity?_

"Are you breaking up with me? There's something between us… even if you don't quite recognise it right now in this moment that you're acting like a bitch.. I know you feel it" he told her.

 _He'd felt it in that kiss before she pulled away…You are Mine.._

"This is who you made me when you cast me away…. there's plenty of other bimbos out there for you… just leave me alone" she muttered and left him standing there.

Logan tried to stop himself from chasing after the woman he'd just scared off with his smart mouth, he'd known better than to bring up her dad, he'd just lost all perspective, all trace of common sense when she looked at him with those sultry distrustful blue eyes.

 _He couldn't breathe… she was going to stop trying?_

 _He was nothing to her…_


	37. Chapter 37

_(song for this scene – NF- Paralysed)_

 _"There's something between us… even if you don't quite recognise it right now in this moment that you're acting like a bitch.. I know you feel it" Logan had told her._

Veronica's mind kept running through the highlights of their confrontation in the library. History had just repeated itself, the Other Veronica had apparently been smart enough to keep her investigation hidden but she hadn't known enough about the pranks and the torment that Logan had caused in the year since Lilly's death. She'd had a blank slate, a blind spot for the boy who had been the only thing familiar for her… and he had used that to twist the truth by trying to make her believe the story that everybody else knew.

 _Sheriff Mars had been wrong. That her father had deserved to be ousted from office and that Veronica had stabbed all her friends in the back. Lies…_

 _"I'm in **love** with you Veronica…"_

No, he was in love with a Bubble head, a bimbo version of herself who had been too naïve to know any better because she had never had experience of what a jackass he had been. She was furious with him, he thought that sentiment had blinded her to the truth about her father.

 _"I thought you'd finally come to your senses"_

He couldn't be more wrong… he'd been the one to abandon _her_ … she knew the truth and she would prove it once and for all. They had all underestimated the Mars family, they were going to regret that oversight.

 _Hottest Kiss of my Life Logan Echolls_ had shown his true colours… as much as that kiss had brought a rush of _something_ that she didn't want to think about… they weren't going to be able to bridge this conflict. Not now. This is just who they were, a product of loss and grief… and the only language they spoke was anger and retribution. She didn't know how he was going to retaliate when the novelty of his little infatuation wore off.

 _Hell hath no fury like a Logan scorned…_

He hadn't shown up for Newspaper class and she had been relieved, he probably still wanted to talk and she was trying very unsubtly to avoid it. Her article assignment made her wince, it twas almost the season to wish it wasn't the season. How could it be so close to Christmas already?

Duncan noticed her grimace and chuckled silently.

Maybe now Duncan was talking to her again she could get him to run interference with Logan? She needed some breathing space. The other 09ers had started to notice the friction between her and Logan, apparently their little romance at the dance on Friday had muddied the waters with Caitlin Ford and her little plastic posse. She had been glaring at Veronica ever since she had entered the classroom. Last thing she had remembered, Logan and Caitlin had been dating… she was sure that whatever had gone down during that particular break up would be burning up tumblr, facebook and the twitterverse. She'd love to see the Snapchats circulating about her now…

 _"A mistake? Please just give me a chance…"_

 _Sorry Logan, I'm bitter and complicated… it's one of my charms._

He'd had the combination for months, ever since that bong prank of hers but he had never used it before now.

 _If I can't be happy… at least I can be drunk… she wouldn't even hear him out…_

Logan had decided to enjoy a little happy hour all by his lonesome after the argument in the library. He knew he shouldn't be doing this although his moral compass was as broken with his heart right now. Breaking into Veronica's locker… there would be consequences, he knew that. He was fairly hammered now but he would have to be quick before Journalism class let out.

 _Let's get drunk and make mistakes… blame it on the alcohol… but sometimes when you are drunk, you can see better…_

He wasn't getting drunk for the hell of it, he was getting drunk to numb the hell out of it.

 _There was a special place in Hell for Veronica… The Throne._

"I wanna get so drunk I never remember **you** again.." he muttered bitterly as he twisted the combination. "In fact… I'll probably get drunk until I don't know where **_I_** am"

 _She had broken him... they didn't work... not now... he wanted her to fight for them... he **loved** her... and it was going to crack his soul apart..._

His parents were home tonight… he would spend the night in a hotel tonight to avoid his dad. He'd suffered enough for one day, he could take the beating tomorrow.

 _He needed to get wasted and be alone… he couldn't go back to his bedroom… not with the sounds of her still echoing in his head and the scent of her in his bedsheets…_

 _"I was afraid you would say something like that"_

All he knew is that she had put her bag into the locker to keep her belongings away from Caitlin and Pam's five finger discount before she'd headed to class with Duncan.

 _"This was a mistake"_

That Diary didn't belong to this Veronica... it belonged to His Veronica… and it was the only thing he had left of her. Not that he even knew what to look for, he'd never seen it. Logan just knew he needed to read those words… he had to have some piece of them… there had to be _something_ in there to help him get her memories of what they had shared together back.. some clue…

Some proof that the love they'd shared had been real…

 _"I abandoned **you**?"_

 _He wished he couldn't feel anything..._

He rummaged through the brown satchel until he came across a small green leather notebook.

 _Gotcha._

It wasn't until she got back to her locker during her bathroom break with the receiver from the trophy case that she realised that her Diary was missing and all she found was a note instead.

 _All you need to remember is that you hurt me. L_


	38. Chapter 38

_"Hi this is Logan with today's inspirational message:_

 _Forgetting is a risky strategy for living. Memory is essential to us. It is DNA. We need to remember, and we need to imagine. That's why we have books, writing, fiction. - Romesh Gunesekera"_

"Damn it!" Veronica swore, crumpling up the note and shoving it into her pocket as she took her bag. He had taken her journal and now he wouldn't pick up the phone.

 _Where are you Logan? Of all the shit to pull, her freaking **diary**?_

She didn't return to class, she searched the car park for his arrogantly yellow T Bird but it wasn't there. She had to find him, quickly.

 _This could ruin the entire investigation…_

Luckily, she had a few little tricks up her sleeve that could help her to narrow the search. She was a teenage detective… gadgets and all.

Daisy was her father's office with a couple in their late 50s when she arrived so Veronica went straight for the good stuff, her fathers cell phone tracker which had cost hundreds of dollars and her trusty lock-pick and the tablet for the cctv licence plate tracker. If she'd had more time she would try calling her dad's friend at the Echolls family bank to track if any charges had been made on his atm or credit cards.

She was still searching the Private Eye database to find out the registration number of Logan's car when Daisy and the clients finished up.

"Well I have your details Mr Hartnett, we will do our best to keep you informed as much as we can… hopefully we will get your belongings back" Daisy smiled as she escorted the gentleman and his wife into the main reception area.

"Veronica?" the older woman asked as she stood smiling in front of the desk where Veronica was using her laptop. She looked at her as if they had met before, bewildered Veronica nodded and gave her a shy smile. She was a short, middle class curvy woman in a cream trouser suit with green eyes and dark curly hair but she didn't seem familiar, Veronica couldn't place her.

"Daniel sweetie, it's Veronica… you remember? From The Aroma Grove!" Mage told him as she smiled warmly to the taller African American man with her. "It is so nice to see a familiar face!"

 _The Aroma Grove?_

"Ah yes! Hello dear!" He smiled and Daisy gave them a confused smile.

"Hello" Veronica replied politely.

"How is Logan?" Mage asked.

 _They knew Logan?_

"You know Veronica?" Daisy asked, sensing her discomfort and Veronica was silently grateful. "She is Mr Mars' daughter"

"Oh yes.. we met Veronica here before… although our last meeting was under much better circumstances, we were at a cooking class down on the boardwalk" Mage explained fondly to Daisy.

"Are you here for a case?" Veronica asked as she tried to piece together where in the diary she had read about a cooking class with Logan, getting up from her chair to stand politely beside Daisy. It was a little disconcerting how out of the loop she felt right now, she couldn't imagine what it must have been like those first few weeks having to deal with _everything_ being gone.

"Terrible business… it's ruining our trip… our Hotel room at the Neptune Grand was robbed, and the Sheriff's Department has been less than useless" Daniel complained.

"Sheriff Lamb is not the most helpful" Daisy said quietly.

"The lady in reception recommended we come and see your father, there's been a string of incidents lately… my favourite necklace was taken.. right out of the safe!" Mage told her sorrowfully.

"That's awful" Veronica said, her blue eyes softening in sympathy. "I am sure my father will do all he can"

"Awk it was so lovely to see you again dear, we were just thinking about the two of you last night, weren't we sweetie?" Mage smiled as she glanced over her shoulder at her husband. "I feel much better now, this was a nice surprise after such a horrible morning… do tell Logan we said hello" she smiled.

"I will…" Veronica agreed as the petite woman pulled her forwards into an unexpected friendly hug. The sweet smell of jasmine and soap that had a familiarity that too her back to a hard to access memory, the taste of tomatoes and grapefruit came back to her. She felt a flicker of something… a recollection… a little dizzy Veronica broke away from their hug and stood back against the wall.

"Thanks for your details, we will be in touch" Daisy told them politely and the couple made their goodbyes.

"Nice to see you again" Veronica called.

"Are you okay?" Daisy asked, her eyes were flooded with worry.

"Yeah… I just need to sit down a minute" Veronica agreed. "I've met them before…" she said as Daisy gave her a glass of water.

"The Aroma Grove… I think that's were Logan took you on your first date" Daisy explained. "You don't look so well… should I call your dad?"

"No! I'm fine… I just haven't really eaten anything today" Veronica dismissed as Daisy looked at the clock.

"You're out of school early… are you sure you don't want me to call your dad?" she checked.

"Positive, I only stopped by to get something… I'm going to head home now" Veronica assured her.

 _Right after I track down Logan Echolls and that Diary…_

"Do you at least want me to drive you?" she asked.

"No.. thank you, I'll be fine" she promised. "The dizziness is already starting to pass"

"Fine… but eat something" Daisy told her as she handed her a small candy bar. "And you aren't going anywhere before I see you devour that" she scolded her.

Veronica took the small candy bar and reached into her bag to take the tablets that Dr Holtz had given her. The pain in her temples had subsided to a dull throb… she could recall being in a strange kitchen… then it was the smell of smoke and salt… the diary hadn't given too many details of that night so she didn't understand what it all meant.

 _Maybe she could ask Logan when she finally found him before she tasered his klepto ass?_


	39. Chapter 39

"Three missed calls… what do you want Evil Veronica?" Logan mumbled drunkenly as he lay back onto his bed in the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel as he stared at his phone. She certainly wasn't _His Veronica_ … the one he'd danced with, the one he had made love to, the one he'd fallen asleep with nestled beside him. No... This Veronica was the wicked witch who had come and replaced his beautiful girlfriend in the middle of the night.

 _Wicked witch? Evil Bitch? Yep… you are now drunk Logan…_

God he wanted her back. How could this hurt so damn much? This had been the first time he'd risked caring for anyone since Lilly had been murdered.

"You want **_this_** huh?" he mused to himself as he held the small green leather notebook in his hand.

 _Of course she did, why else would she even bother to try and contact him? It's not like she loves me…_

He hadn't been able to work up the courage to read it yet, but the pages smelled of her perfume. The one she'd wore that night of Homecoming when she'd been wearing that teal silk dress and he'd pressed her against his body…

 _Why_ _was this happening to him?_

He'd left his mother a quick message earlier telling her that he was staying with Duncan, since his friend still seemed to be pissed at him over taking Veronica to Homecoming, he figured it was as safe an alibi as any.

She still sided with her dad… she hadn't forgiven him for their falling out, and she wasn't sorry she had abandoned him. Lilly was gone… and now so was she.

 _Did he really want to read the thoughts of the girl who had fallen in love with him and stolen his heart when he knew he'd lost her?_

If he closed his eyes he could almost see her straddling him and feel her lips against his… he'd never known that just kissing a woman could make him feel so damn near delirious. She had seduced him… now he couldn't get her off his mind.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _As part of my recommended recovery, the lovely Dr Sorrell says I should start a journal… so hey, its me, Veronica, Veronica Mars, and here is the first day of my life. My new life, because I can't remember the old one... just this endless panic attack, like I'm drowning and this constant overwhelming fear that something terrible is about to happen, like my old life is coming after me and no one knows how to fix it._

 _I wish I knew what was wrong with me, Dr Sorrell assures me that feelings aren't like memories, you can't just pull them out of a file, or a photograph, they have to be earned, so this "personal ownership" I don't feel over all these things Keith Mars and Wallace Fennell keep showing me doesn't mean that I won't be able to get those feelings back eventually. It's like this is all a game, and I haven't been told what the rules are._

 _She has advised me that I shouldn't try and spend all my energy trying to dissect who I was, because if dwell too much then I'll never be free to live as the person I am now… and that I can't pretend to be someone that I am not, someone who that they think I should be, but who I am right now is terrified, I'm always terrified. I never wanted any of this, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm broken._

 _I don't know why everyone is just so scared to say it, I am… I'm fractured, and there's this piece missing… and I have to find it, I have to find Logan… it feels like he's the only safe space and I know when I find him that it should all start with him… there has to be a reason why he's the only thing that didn't disappear._

Logan ran his fingers over the words, he hadn't ever really considered in those first few weeks what it must have been like for her to wake up so scared, and he'd avoided her.

 _"If she was going to remember something… couldn't it have been something important?" Logan had asked Ms James._

 _"Have you considered that for Veronica… maybe she did remember something that she thought was important?" Ms James had told him._

The journal continued like that for a few pages as he watched her try and piece things together, she grew more confident and sarcastic as time went on, she'd thought he was a jerk at times but there was always this need to get to know him…

 _Although… speaking of crushes. I think I might have one on Logan Echolls… but that would be messy and complicated._

Then she started to dig to try and figure out why Logan wasn't in her life anymore, why Keith Mars had lost his job as Sheriff… there was the trouble she had with the Recovered Memory Therapy… _an assault?_

It was hard to dislike Keith Mars when you saw him through his daughters eyes, when he could read about the kind of father he was… Logan had never had anything like that.

 _How could he ever had expected her to give him up? Even if he had been wrong…_

Then he got to the part when Veronica had started to look into Lilly's death to discover what had happened… he wasn't sure if he should continue, he didn't want to have to see her experience that loss all over again.

 _I finally made myself watch that crime scene video. Wallace tells me I was there in person the night her body was discovered, I can almost feel the metallic taste on my tongue._

 _Someone erased Lilly Kane from existence, the split the left side of her skull right open._

 _Logan Echolls might think that both of the girls in that homecoming picture are dead, but one of them is still here… and she's going to find out the truth._

 _I still don't know why someone like Abel Koontz would confess to something he didn't do… it makes no sense!_

Logan felt like someone had just poured cold water over him, he'd always assumed that Veronica's complete faith that the Sheriff's Department had arrested the wrong man had been because she had been blinded by misplaced sentiment for her father… but here she'd had no such ties... she couldn't remember them… no preconceptions… and she had still drawn the same conclusions?

He'd started to sober when he got to the parts when she had begun to collect evidence.

 _So I think Lilly and Weevil might have had a relationship at some point…_

He had been right… Lilly had been seeing someone else. He hadn't been crazy.

 _Weevil?_

His head was spinning and then he got to the part about their first date.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Tonight had been completely unexpected... If there was such a thing as a perfect night I never want to forget… it was tonight. Logan Echolls… you are stealing my heart._

She **had** loved him…

How could Veronica have read this journal and still have rejected him today? But then Logan realised the truth… it was because she'd always known something he'd assumed was a lie, Lilly's murder was being covered up. _He'd been wrong._

Who had killed Lilly Kane?


	40. Chapter 40

Veronica finally tracked Logan Echolls cell phone down to the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel, the main competition of the more popular Neptune Grand.

"Hi this is Logan with today's inspirational message…"

 _God she hated that answering machine._

She couldn't stop the impatience winding in her stomach as she waited for the elevator to go to his floor. Kasey "with K" from reception had told her that he was on the fifth floor, she was surprised he hadn't chosen the penthouse until she realised that the hotel had a large balcony with a bar in the middle of it over looking Nereids Point along Dog Beach.

 _Figures Logan would select the floor closest to the nearest beer tap._

She had to pass by several slot machines and casino table, but there was still no sign of him.

 _Perhaps he was actually in his room?_

Wherever he was, she had to diffuse this time bomb before it blew up and she lost the element of surprise. The Kane's wouldn't allow her to keep digging into this if they really had been involved in covering up Lilly's murder. She didn't want to think about the measures they would take to keep that secret, they'd already destroyed her father's life. She didn't doubt that they would be beyond taking one.

Room 523.

She pounded on the door a few minutes and heard someone stumble around inside before they opened the door. It had taken her longer to get here than she had intended, and she had no idea how much of it he'd be able to read before she got to him.

 _She was just going to get the journal and leave. She didn't need to justify her investigation to anyone._

There he was, Logan was standing with his shirt and shoes off with his eyes red and puffy. Poised to give him a piece of her mind, she had expected him to make some kind of smart assed comment or to close the door in her face, instead he yanked her forwards and pulled her into a fierce hug, his muscled arms lifting her up from the floor, the spicy offerings of his whiskey, the musky scent of his aftershave mixed with that smell of the ocean that her journal had mentioned.

 _So familiar…_

"Logan?" she squeaked as he picked her up and carried her inside, kicking the door closed behind them. His smell penetrated her nostrils, overpowering her mind which started to conjure fiery images of the brush of his skin against hers, their bodies colliding together… it was happening again… like in the office earlier. She was feeling dizzy again.

"We need to talk" he told her firmly as he turned to pick up the journal from the bed but she grabbed his arm to steady herself.

 _Weakness threatening to pull her down into the blackness again._

"Veronica?" he asked before his arms rushed around her, holding her up.

"I need to sit down" she gasped. Images were exploding in her head, her heartbeat was erratic and she clung to him as he carried her to the bed.

"Veronica? What's wrong?" he asked, his hands cupping her face, brown eyes wide with worry as he sat down beside her.

Logan stared at the petite blond in front of him as he tried not to panic, surveying her face. Was this another seizure?

 _No… No… No… you can't do this to me again…_

Her eyes widened a little and she looked at him a little dazed. What was happening? Why wouldn't she answer him?

"Veronica… talk to me!" he pleaded as she traced her thumb along his lower lip.

"Marshmallows?" she asked quietly as she frowned a little, the memory of smoke and salt was making its way through the haze.

 _Oh no… should he call someone? What was going on?_

"We had S'mores on the beach?" she breathed softly.

"What?" he said but before he could ask anything else she pulled him closer to her and kissed him. Heat and desire flowed through her as she lifted herself up into his lap, and she explored his mouth with greater urgency. He broke away from their kiss gasping. "Veronica?"

"Yeah… I just got lost for a minute…" she said smiling in relief, her blue eyes were watering with tears. The room had stopped spinning and now… all she had was clarity.

"I don't understand…" he told her, should he be calling her an ambulance?

"I remember you…" she said cupping his face. "I remember us… I remember the beach…"

 _How could she not have recalled this feeling? This mouth, this face… these arms… she was home…_

Logan didn't want to give into the sick feeling of hope that swelled inside him as she kissed him again. How drunk was he exactly?

"I love you.." she whispered.

Logan pulled her against him kissed her feverishly.

 _She was back..._

"Dr Sorrell told me this could happen; it's called a fugue state? When I'd lost my memories the second time" Veronica told him as Logan handed her a small glass of water a little time later and sat down beside her again. "Did you read it?" she asked quietly as she glanced at the small green leather notebook on the bed.

"Yeah" he admitted.

"So my secret's out then…" she breathed.

"That you have a thing for Surfers?" he joked.

"Yeah... and the other thing" Veronica replied as she watched him turn to pick it up.

"Lilly…" he sighed, leafing through the pages.

"Lilly" she nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly.

"I tried… no one would listen…" she explained and he nodded but didn't look at her.

"I'm sorry Veronica… I should've been there for you" he sobbed. "If I'd just looked at the evidence…"

 _He had failed them both again…_

"We didn't create these circumstances Logan.. I don't blame you… I blame whoever killed Lilly" she told him firmly.

"Then let's find the son of a bitch" he sniffed.

"Together" she agreed as she entwined her fingers with his.


	41. Chapter 41

(Song for this scene The Fray – Look After You)

Logan wasn't sure how long they had lay cuddled together on the bed in his hotel room in the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel but he was grateful to whatever deity had answered his prayers, Veronica was nestled against his chest having a quick nap, the dizzy spell she had taken when she'd first entered the room had taken a lot out of her and he was still too drunk to drive her anywhere to get checked out so they'd just laid down on the bed for a little while, her petite body curled up beside him. He just hoped she was still her when she woke up again.

 _She was here, and she was safe._

He was worried; this dizzy spell of hers had taken him by surprise. He'd been prepared for her to tear him a new one when he had opened that door, for her fury and a reckoning. He hadn't envisioned she would fall into his arms again declaring that she loved him. He had been so wrong about everything…

 _Lilly… Abel Koontz… Keith Mars… all of it_.

 _Please don't let this be temporary_ … he thought as he looked at the petite blond in front of him, he would die if he had to go through that again. There was still so much they had to talk about, the investigation, the evidence… how they were going to proceed.

"You smell good" she whispered as she roused a little, her sapphire blue eyes blinking a few times before they focused and her arms hugged him tighter.

"How much do you remember?" Logan asked quietly as he cupped her face.

"I'm not sure, some of it's still a little muddled" Veronica admitted, rubbing her eyes sleepily, it was still a little bit of a jumble in her head. The anger she had felt initially at the theft of the diary, of their argument earlier had mostly subsided, overpowered by the recent surge of recovered memories. She knew there were still pieces missing, but this feeling was overwhelming… the sense of belonging with him. It seemed surreal now that she had asked him for space while they had been in the library earlier.

 _How could she have ever thought that they had been a mistake?_

She just knew that when she saw him looking so upset tonight that she had felt the need to comfort him, to curl up into his lap and cradle him closer to her. She couldn't stop her hands from wanting to trace every outline of his skin, to taste his lips on hers…

"I remember Homecoming… I remember going back to your house…" she rasped as her eyes blazed into his, desire curling around in her belly. "I remember you touching me…" she sighed as she pushed him backwards against the mattress. They had a hot, intense sexual chemistry and it was drawing them together again as she devoured him with her eyes.

"Veronica…" Logan gulped. "This isn't a good idea…" as she straddled him.

 _Wasn't this what had gotten them into this situation the first time around?_

"I can't help it… I feel like I'm on fire…" she whispered as she leaned forwards and kissed him. "I really want you… God... the things you did to me with that tongue…"

 _They should call Dr Sorrell... he should take her to get checked out… but he was too tipsy to drive…_

His toffee-coloured eyes looked up at her helplessly as her hands ran under his shirt as he felt her grind against him. He had spent the last three days aching for her, thoughts of their night together, of her sheathed tightly around him… _but they couldn't._

"Veronica… we can't…" he gasped as she nibbled on the sensitive spot on his ear.

"I know… but if you think that means we aren't going to make out then you are sorely mistaken Echolls" she purred as she playfully squeezed his nipples.

"Hey!" he protested as he grabbed her hips and rolled them over. He still didn't know what had triggered her recent memories and he wasn't going to risk losing her again this soon.

"If you wanted to be on top you just had to say so…" she joked as she buried her fingers in his hair as she kissed along his jaw.

 _God would she stop writhing beneath him?_

"We still don't know what triggered your memories… or how this works…" he breathed as he tried to resist the urge to slide his hands down her body. "Can you remember when it started?" he asked softly. She lay back against the pillow and looked up at him thoughtfully for a moment.

"A little bit after you kissed me in the library? And again at my dad's office… there was this couple… the Hartnett's?" she told him.

"From our date?" he asked after a moment and Veronica nodded.

"The lady… Mage? She had this umm jasmine perfume?" she answered as she played with the buttons on his shirt.

 _Would she stop mentally undressing him like that?_

"Her perfume?" he prompted and she nodded again.

"When you hugged me… your aftershave… it sparked something and I felt very lightheaded and then it was like I was back there… in your room the night of Homecoming and we were…" she admitted shyly as she blushed. "and all I can't think about is how you must have felt that morning… I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to hurt you…" she whispered, comforting and sexy as she kissed him softly and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I really hope _this_ isn't one of those fugue states… because I can't lose you again…" his brown eyes were welling with tears. _He had almost come undone…_

"Well according to Dr Holtz… the second kind of memory loss is usually temporary… the first probably wouldn't have resolved itself if it wasn't for you" she explained as she cupped his face.

"You know… there wasn't a day that I didn't miss you… since that day in the library when we fought…" he admitted. "Even when I was being a jackass… especially when I was being a jackass.."

"Even when everyone else was a stranger… my heart knew you weren't" she told him as she undid a few of his buttons. "So… the first time I kissed you… that was in the girl's bathroom?" she asked absently.

"Yeah.." he answered, his hands on her waist. "You.. uh… just grabbed me out of nowhere and umm.. will you stop?" he scolded as he grabbed her wrists and interlocked his fingers with hers, pressing her hands into the mattress beside her head.

"And the second time?" she asked innocently as she tucked her calves behind his knees and pulled him closer, sending heat through him in erotic, torturous waves.

"I kissed you outside the library…" he sighed. He was stiff against her thigh and he knew she was aware of it. She was looking at him like she wanted to rip his clothes off again, her blue eyes so pale they had an extraordinary luminescence. He wanted nothing more than to allow her to explore him as she wanted, let their bodies melt together until she moaned his name the way she had a few nights ago. He'd memorised every inch of her skin, how much this particular woman had enjoyed the feel of his touch, he wanted her touch now.

"And then we made out in the back of your car?" she added as she gazed at his lips and back up at his eyes until he gave in and his mouth collided with hers. Her blonde hair spilled around the pillow like liquid gold, her hips wriggling unconsciously in a silent invitation.

Their kisses were passionate, molten and consuming, he was fighting his body for control as their gazes tangled for a few breathless seconds, he wanted to strip her naked and press their bodies together until they had sated this irrepressible desire flowing between them, to take his time to tame the wanton, needy creature curled beneath him on his bed. Raw need tore through him; his length throbbed to be closer to her. He trailed a searing kiss along her neck, his lips travelling down her throat as he slid a hand up under her shirt to cup her breast, encouraged by the mewling cry she made as he captured her hardened nipple in his fingers.

"I'm famished" she gasped as her heart pounded and her pulse raced and he paused, looking down at her laboured breathing as she trembled under his touch. Something in her eyes urged him on, begged him to continue his explorations, to undress her and plunge himself deep inside her like they both wanted.

 _He wanted to possess her… to feel her clamp around him and have her cry out in pleasure again…_

"Do you want to get room service?" his voice was rough as he removed his hand from her breast and raised himself off of her until he was lying on the bed beside her. She nodded wordlessly and lay on her back panting, he was so turned on.

"I'm going to need a minute…" he confessed as he stared into her blue eyes as she studied his face.

 _She's going to be the death of me…_


	42. Chapter 42

(Song for this Scene Hozier – Take me to church)

"Are you always this distracted when you are horny?" Veronica teased as she licked the ice-cream off her spoon. _How did he ever get through his classes?_

"Do you always eat your ice-cream like that?" Logan retorted as he watched her mesmerised.

 _Damn I need a cold shower…_

They had moved off the bed onto the chairs with small breakfast table set and had just finished their dinner while Veronica talked Logan through the highlights of the Lilly Kane case. He had to admit, it was a little difficult to keep track of everything that she was saying when part of him just wanted to haul her back into the bed and finish what they had started.

"I'm supposed to get the records on Wednesday from the Births and Deaths office, so I should have more information then" she explained as she flicked through the diary.

 _God I feel like an addict…_

"I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop" Veronica admitted, she could remember most of the details from the journal now, although now she had the full spectrum of her experiences back, a lot of the details bothered her. She wondered how Duncan would react knowing that she had her full memories back again? It bothered her that she even cared. If anything his sudden reappearance in her life after everything that she had been through annoyed her. He cared now? What about before when she had lost her mother, or her home or the other 09ers had been treating her like their own personal punching bag?

"When do you see Dr Holtz?" Logan asked as he sipped on his glass of water, the alcohol was mostly out of his system now, but the beginnings of a hangover had started.

"I'm supposed to go and see him on Friday, but I think Daisy was trying to get me in for an appointment tomorrow" she replied, more tests and brain scans.

 _Fun Fun Fun._

"When you woke up on Saturday…" he began carefully, she'd been very upset.

 _Oh God… he wanted to talk about the morning after…_

"I could tell we had had sex" she agreed.

"You were really scared…" he commented quietly, watching her face. He wanted to ask about the Recovered Memory Therapy session with Dr Holtz… the memories that came back after the night of Shelley's party.

"Dr Sorrell explained that it's almost impossible to distinguish real memories from imagined ones that early in the treatment… I don't know what that was" she said dismissively.

"You can tell me anything…" he coaxed. "All I care about is you…"

"Logan… just drop it… please" she pleaded as she pushed the diary away from her.

"Okay" he replied softly.

"Wallace and my father totally took advantage of me… they turned me into a Basketball loving groupie" she joked awkwardly changing the subject. "And my dad tried to convince me that I loved Key Lime Pie… it's still gross" as she licked the back of her spoon again.

"The abuse…" Logan chuckled.

"That was nothing… my boyfriend subjected me to mind-shattering strenuous sex and gave me amnesia all over again" she teased as she licked the spoon more deliberately this time.

"Mind-shattering?" Logan repeated.

"And _strenuous_.." she pouted as she got up from her chair.

"Sounds awful…" he rasped as she climbed into his lap.

"No… it was amazing" she corrected as she kissed him again.

"Veronica… you will end up forgetting your own name again if you keep this up…" he warned, his hands on her hips, squeezing her ass.

 _What was she trying to do to him?_

"It's getting late… I'll have to get home soon" she told him reluctantly.

Her father would be wondering where she was.

It was 8.13pm.

"I know…" he sighed.

 _He didn't want her to go…_

"Cacoethes…" she whispered quietly as she nibbled his ear.

"What?" he moaned as she began to open the buttons on his shirt again.

"My word a day calendar… it means an urge to do something inadvisable" she said as she opened his shirt completely. "I want to inadvisably screw _your_ brains out" she purred before capturing his lips with hers.

"We can't…." he pleaded but his body was already starting to betray him again.

"No… we shouldn't… but we could…" she encouraged as she pulled her shirt off, straddling him with only her black bra on.

"I don't have _that_ much control Veronica…." he warned as he cupped her breast in his hands, enthralled by the sight of her in front of him. Heart pounding adrenalin in his veins as the renewed hot yearning enflamed him with a need to carry her to the bed.

 _Why was she teasing him like this?_

"I'm not expecting you to keep control… in fact… it's more fun when you lose it completely…" she whispered as she reached for his belt. He was achingly hard. "I'm not leaving you all pent up and tortured like this…" she said as she reached for his zipper and freed him. He gasped as he felt her fingers glide over his shaft and begin stroke him.

"I thought you weren't trying to torture me…." He rasped.

"I'm not…" she corrected him as she slid off his lap and onto her knees in front of him. He couldn't stop the rough cry from ripping from his throat as she took him into her mouth and licked the tip of him. His head swam as he began luxuriating in the sensations her gentle sucking was evoking. Air deserted his lungs as she steadily increased the rhythmic pace and took him deeper into her mouth, her tongue flickering over the head of his shaft.

"Oh God…" he gasped, his hand buried in her hair while her fingers stroked him in time to her movements, a thin sheen of sweat broke out on his forehead as he squirmed in pleasure. His thoughts ground to a happy halt before a splash of colours swept over him as he released himself in her mouth.

"Veronica…" he breathed as she sat back content, a wicked grin on her face.

"Good… you still remember my name..." she winked before she got up and kissed him.

 _Amnesia jokes… again?_

He sat panting for a moment as he watched her get back up and put her t shirt back on.

 _What the hell was she trying to do to him?_


	43. Chapter 43

Veronica chuckled a little as Daisy Blossom slid into the chair next to her in the waiting area, her green eyes were hidden under a pair of dark sunglasses and she groaned in pain as she nursed her coffee in her hands. They had just finished up the mornings scans and assessments when Daisy had brought Veronica a breakfast wrap.

"Tequila… never again…." She mumbled.

"You don't have to stay with me" Veronica giggled.

"Your dad and Cliff are at a hearing this morning, I've forwarded all the calls to my cell, and I promised your dad I'd go with you yesterday… although that was before Becca and Cadence decided to break out the shot glasses last night" she muttered as she sipped her coffee. "Tequila Pong… never try that one!"

"Well I appreciate the company" Veronica smiled as she watched her father's hungover assistant slump further into her chair and groan.

"It's too bright in here…" she added as she pulled her hood up over her head and her phone chirped. Daisy peeked at the screen and buried her face in her knees. Flashing the screen to Veronica.

Thanks for a great night – Don

"Why do I do these things to myself?" she lamented.

"As in SHERIFF LAMB?" Veronica asked.

"It's the uniform…" Daisy sighed.

"If this is what College does to a person.. I think I don't ever want to graduate" Veronica joked.

"We aren't always attracted to what is good for us… sometimes we just have chemistry with someone who is wrong for us in all the right ways" Daisy said sagely as she replied.

Ditto – D

"I mean, I know there's nothing redeeming about the guy… he's an asshole, but he's a pretty asshole" Daisy chuckled.

"Veronica Mars?" Nurse Jackie called as she stood in the reception.

"That's me" Veronica said, standing.

"You want me to go in with you?" Daisy asked.

"No, I'll be fine" Veronica replied.

"Good… wake me up when you are done" Daisy smiled as she buried her head under her coat.

"Neuroscience is a lot like a detective story – we have to look for clues to reveal the cause. Neuroscientists have identified the hippocampus as crucial for creating new memories for events. People with damage to the hippocampus have trouble remembering what has happened to them. The part of the brain that is responsible for processing smells – the "olfactory bulb" – is next to a part of the brain called the hippocampus. Upon detecting a smell the olfactory neurones in the upper part of the nose generate an impulse which is passed to the brain along the olfactory nerve. The part of the brain this arrives at first is called the olfactory bulb, which processes the signal and then passes information about the smell to other areas closely connected to it, collectively known as the limbic system" Dr Holtz explained as he sat opposite Veronica looking at her recent charts.

"The limbic system comprises a set of structures within the brain that are regarded by scientists as playing a major role in controlling mood, memory, behaviour and emotion. It is often regarded as being the old, or primitive, part of the brain, because these same structures were present within the brains of the very first mammals. The sense of smell is closely linked with memory, probably more so than any of our other senses. Those with full olfactory function may be able to think of smells that evoke particular memories; the scent of an orchard in blossom conjuring up recollections of a childhood picnic, for example. This can often happen spontaneously, with a smell acting as a trigger in recalling a long-forgotten event or experience. Smell is also highly emotive." He added.

"So… when I smelled Mrs Hartnett's perfume… it triggered the memory?" Veronica asked.

"It seems most likely that is the case" He confirmed.

"How likely is it that I'll have another _Transient Global Amnesia incident_?" Veronica queried. "Will it occur every time I…"

"You would like to know how advisable it is to engage in sexual intercourse." Dr Holtz asked and Veronica blushed. "From what we can tell, there is still no known cause for your original seizure… nothing ongoing physiological so it may have been triggered by something environmental, or something which you ingested but we cannot determine that for sure… the TGA event seems to have resulted from the initial recovery of the retrograde amnesia" he explained.

"Meaning?" Veronica asked.

"Meaning, it is perfectly safe for you to engage in 'normal' healthy sexual activities, it is highly unlikely that a secondary TGA incident should occur, in fact, it may actually prove quite beneficial but you should still avoid in engaging in highly emotionally stressful situations for a least another month, you are still in recovery" he said finally. "Your test scores from the tasks today have come back even better than before, I am content that you are making significant progress, have you had any other symptoms?" he asked.

"Symptoms like…" she asked.

"Nausea, headaches.. odd tastes" he elaborated.

"I get the taste of pennies sometimes… and I'm a little lightheaded in the morning" Veronica told him.

"I would recommend that we monitor your blood sugar levels, perhaps, think about drinking something sugary before bedtime for the next few evenings and see if that assists in lessoning the symptoms" he told her. "I am going to give you the number for the out of hours advisory line encase you develop any new symptoms or you are worried, there is also an app which I would recommend that you use to help us map your progress, it is just a series of small tasks and puzzles but it can help to indicate any potential relapses" Dr Holtz added as he handed her a business card.

"So I guess I will see you next week?" Veronica smiled weakly.

"Yes, next Tuesday" he answered as he handed her the prescription for her medication.

"Hey Honey, how did it go?" Keith Mars asked as he answered the phone.

"Good, my test results came back better than before" she explained.

"That's great… is Daisy with you?" he asked and Veronica glanced over at the waiting area where Daisy was having a nap curled up over two seats.

"Yeah she's here… we are just going to go get some lunch and then I'm going to head to school" Veronica told him.

"Excellent, well I shouldn't be too late tonight, can you call home before you go to school and check on Backup?" he asked.

"Sure, no problem" she agreed.

"Alright, I'll see you later sweetheart" Keith answered. "I love you"

"Love you too dad" Veronica replied as she nudged Daisy who was snoring lightly.

"I don't wanna be the Piñata!" she yelped before she jolted awake, her eyes taking a minute to refocus.

"You ready to go?" Veronica giggled as Daisy wiped the drool from the side of her mouth.

"Yeah… yeah… I'm up…" she nodded as she stood up and moaned as she stretched her back. "I'm stiff.."

"And yet you looked so comfortable there…" Veronica commented as they headed for the doors.

"I wonder if you would look as comfortable with my foot up your smart ass…" Daisy joked.

"Java the hut?" Veronica suggested.

"Do you see a coffee in my hand? Of course!" Daisy declared as they headed for Veronica LeBaron parked outside.


	44. Chapter 44

Logan Echolls did his best to make idle conversation with his reluctant passenger, his best friend Duncan Kane that morning on the way to Neptune High School. The relationship between them both had been frosty at best ever since their revelation about Logan's budding romance with Duncan's ex-girlfriend Veronica. He doubted Duncan would even have accepted the lift if his mother Celeste Kane hadn't interceded Logan's call asking for an alibi for his whereabouts if his parents should ask and suggested Logan collect Duncan to drop him off to school because his car was off getting repairs.

"You wanna get something from the drive thru for breakfast?" Logan asked quietly but Duncan just shook his head and continued to look out the passenger side window.

Zombie Duncan was back… but for an entirely different reason. Word had started to spread slowly amongst the 09ers that Veronica had regained most of her memories as a result of the _intimacy_ between Logan and herself on Homecoming. He wasn't sure how the information had gotten out but it wasn't a secret anymore and he was certain that a lot of Duncan's glacial attitude towards him was because he knew.

He hated this wall between them; he wanted to be able to open to him about the things he had found out in Veronica's journal, the revelations about Lilly's murder, about Abel Koontz and the cover up. They were best friends but Veronica had advised against it, and she had a point. The Kane's had paid Abel Koontz to confess, so they were protecting someone... that meant that he couldn't risk saying anything in case it put them on the radar of whoever they were tracking.

 _Although if Duncan knew something, surely he would have told him? Confided in him?_

 _Lilly was his sister…_

Something was really bothering Duncan, it couldn't just have been that he was dating Veronica. They'd been broken up for over a year now, he had never cared much about who she had dated before. After Shelley Pomoroy's party last year, Duncan had done everything in his power to completely avoid her… They hadn't even been _that_ serious, he was sure they'd never gotten passed third base.

He surely would have mentioned _that_ to him?

"Are we ever going to talk about it?" Logan sighed.

 _We are friends Duncan… it's not my fault I fell in love with her…_

"No… just don't use me to cover for you again" he replied, his blue eyes were so much like Lilly's sometimes he wasn't sure whose disapproval he was really seeing, his friends, or the ghost of the girl he loved.

"Okay" Logan agreed. He didn't want to lose his best friend over this, but he couldn't be sorry over the decisions he was making. Veronica had brought him back from the edge, he'd been going down a very dark self-destructive path and he didn't want to think what would have happened had he stayed on that road. Before her, life hadn't been worth living.

She was at a hospital appointment that morning and wouldn't be back in school until later after lunch, he was eager for news. Her recent resurgence in memories had taken them both by surprise last night; the constant changes in her health had him feeling anxious. He'd felt like he'd been on a roller-coaster the last few days, she hadn't replied to his texts other than the one she had sent saying good morning. He'd feel better when he could see her at school. They couldn't spend much time together today, her father wasn't on a stake-out tonight, and his parents were home from their whale watching cruise. His mother had arranged an Echolls family sit down meal for them this evening, Trina was going to be home for the next few days.

 _Fun Fun Fun. Cold War in the Echolls Family Estate._

Logan had paid the hotel this morning in cash that he'd won during the last poker game he hosted, so thankfully there wouldn't be any credit card bills, as far as his parents knew, he'd spent the night at Duncan's, but as he could tell that option wouldn't be available again.

He hated going home when his father wasn't on location; the guy hadn't taken a new project on in about four months, which meant he was in the house, concentrating all his time on trying to drum up interest in his "brand" aka dragging Logan and his mother around on family excursions to improve his public image.

 _Why couldn't he just turn 18 already so he could have an excuse to move out on his own? He couldn't wait to get his own place, then he could invite Veronica over as often as he wanted._

"Let's go to Starbucks" Duncan finally relented.

Veronica stood in line at the Java the Hut as Daisy squinted at the chalk board with the service options.

"Can I have a Frappuccino please?" she asked and the barista smiled and took her money. "What are you having?" Veronica asked Daisy.

"Coffee… black… like my soul" Daisy smiled as she picked up a packet of ginger biscuits and placed them onto the tray.

Veronica felt her phone vibrate in her pocket, it was a number she didn't recognise but it looked like one of those government department extensions, like the ones her dad got her to call up sometimes for checks on ID's.

"Hello?" she answered cautiously as she watched two guys wander by the counter and ogle Daisy's ass as she bent down through the sandwich counter as she browsed through the options.

"Hi, is this Ms Veronica Mars?" a gentlemen's voice asked.

"Yes, speaking… how can I help?" she asked.

"This is Gerald Mathews from the Neptune Balboa County Births and Deaths Registry… its regarding your request for Family History and Birth Records acquisition number 150084FBB" he informed her.

"Yes… the Abel Koontz records I sent in for last week" Veronica confirmed.

"Unfortunately due to the on-going legal proceedings and the nature of the public records, we will not be able to release those to you" he told her regretfully.

"Unable to release them… but I've already paid the fee" she said incredulously, and it was then Daisy gave her a quizzical look as she took the two drinks from the barista and nudged Veronica towards her seat.

"Unfortunately as I have stated, the nature of the public records for this particular individual because of the on-going legal situation with Mr Koontz.. unless you were a law professional involved in his case, or a direct relative we would not be able to release that information to you. We are happy to credit your account with a refund if you would like to come down and fill out the appropriate paperwork, we are more than happy to assist you" he said finally.

"This is for a Story for the Neptune Navigator… a follow up piece for the Abel Koontz story… are you sure there's no way that you can help me?" she pleaded.

"Unfortunately as I have stated the on-going legal situation…." He repeated.

"That's fine… thank you for letting me know" Veronica interrupted before ending the call.

 _Son of a Bitch! She had been counting on getting those records to help establish motive for why he would have accepted a bribe._

"Bad news?" Daisy asked.

"It's the Neptune Registry… they won't release the family history files I asked for on Abel Koontz… apparently because I'm not a _law professional_ they won't give them to me" Veronica sighed bitterly as she took her coffee from Daisy.

 _Now what was she going to do?_

"I could collect them" Daisy offered. "I am still Cliff's legal intern… and he was Abel Koontz court appointed public defender"

"You would do that?" Veronica asked.

"What are friends for? I also didn't get you that visitor pass to visit the man in person out in San Quinten like you were asking me to before the Big O with your new Beau made you forget all about me and my fabulous talents" Daisy smiled as she finally slid her dark glasses up onto her head like a hair band, her green eyes smiling conspiratorially as she handed Veronica her iPod with all the recordings in it from the Homecoming Bug downloads.

"You ever need it, I will be giving you one hell of a reference" Veronica smiled as she began to scroll through the list of tracks.


	45. Chapter 45

Something hadn't felt right about the clerks excuse at the Neptune's Registry Office, it had sounded rehearsed and nothing she had found on the internet search during her computer class had validated the excuses but Veronica had no real proof, it didn't matter though.

Daisy was going to submit the information request today using Cliff McCormack, her father's former college roommate and all round affordably priced defender of the people Legal firm to get the files that she needed. She would be dropping them over after her shift in the Legal Aids office, it was Gumbo and Basketball night in the Mars household, and any excuse for free food usually got Daisy's vote of approval.

"I am bringing Rocky Road tonight, with those little sugar wafers?" Wallace told her as she grabbed her books from her locker.

"Sounds good" she smiled as she took the homework assignments and reading list from Natalie that she had collected for her from the classes she had missed that morning.

"I tried that snickerdoodle recipe you gave me… how do you stop them from over baking on the bottom? I had to use the burger flipper just to get them off the tray" Natalie asked.

"Oh… I usually butter up the bottom of the tray and put a layer of chocolate… makes it easier to get off" Veronica explained.

"Chocolate… I forgot, I knew you'd said something like that…" Natalie sighed. "Oh well… next time!" she smiled.

"Hey" Logan said as he leaned against the locker behind them, the sound of his voice sent her stomach into a little flutter.

"Hi" Veronica smiled as she turned around to gaze into his brown eyes.

 _Did someone say chocolate?_

"How are you?" she asked as she slid her bag into her locker.

"I'm better now that you are here" he smiled, kissing her forehead.

"Awwww" May sighed dreamily and Natalie gave her an elbow nudge.

"We will see you guys later" Natalie said grabbing her by the elbow and turning them to walk away.

"Hey Man" Logan nodded at Wallace who gave him an eyebrow flash in greeting.

"See you later Mars… I gotta go see a certain cheerleader about a cartwheel" he winked before he went off to find Meg.

"Alone at last" Logan smiled before he pulled her closer for a quick kiss, being sure that Mr Clemmons and the hall monitor weren't paying attention. "How'd it go?"

"Good… I've got new tablets to take this time and I've got the all clear…" she told him as she wrapped her hands around his waist.

"All-clear?" Logan asked as he frowned slightly.

"I can have my way with you…" she smiled as she put her thumbs into the belt loop on the back of his jeans and tugged him closer to her.

"Is that all you think about?" he chuckled nervously, the memory of the previous evening made him have to swallow hard as he became transfixed looking at her tempting lips as the bell sounded above them.

"No… there's a lot of other serious thoughts in there too… pony's, unicorns… how to wear pink with various shades of pink" Veronica quipped a teasing twinkle in her blue eyes, it was all the proof he needed that although she could come across as cold as ice, in the right hands she would melt.

 _Usually she would throw around sass like confetti, but she would swoon for him now._

"Hey Veronica" Cassidy smiled shyly as he walked by with Mac.

It reminded her that she would have to review the iPod recordings that Daisy had given in her next period in study hall. She was still playing friendly with the 09ers, and so far none of the old resentments from them had started up again, with the exception of Caitlin and Pam, but now she knew who she was, and the game had changed.

She was hunting for leads.

"Hi Cass" she smiled back politely, she wasn't anti-social, she was just selectively social, and right now she had to do some research before that wall came back down and she lost her access.

"Ugh, control your whoremores, slut" Madison grumbled under her breath as she watched the couple in the corridor but Veronica did her best to control her tongue, her smart mouth would get her into trouble but it was impossible to control the venomous facial expression she hurled in her direction.

"I am beyond tardy for my French class" Logan sighed as he glanced at his watch.

"I'll see you before home" she promised as she kissed him.

"Laissez les bon temps rouler" Logan joked before he headed off in the opposite direction.

She didn't need google translator for that one, a former deputy of her father's Mitch Deveraux, a hearty Cajun fellow from Louisiana, who had been killed in the line of duty about four years ago, used to say it all the time.

 _'Let the good times roll'_ _indeed_ she thought as she popped in her headphones and began to review the recordings, sparing a thought for the man who'd been the one to teach her father how to make **real** Gumbo like out in the bayou.

It was about 9.15pm and Daisy still hadn't shown, Wallace and Veronica settled onto the sofa with a large bowl of ice-cream in their laps while Keith Mars washed up the dishes and began putting the Gumbo into freezer friendly containers when there was a knock on the door.

"Cliff" Keith said a friendly surprised tone but his body language changed when he saw the man's expression. "What is it?" he asked as he guided him inside.

"I've just had a call from Cadence Argent…" he explained in a quiet hollow voice as he took a seat at the kitchenette in the Mars apartment.

 _Cadence… why did she know that name?_

"A woman's body was found earlier this evening in the Alley outside the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel…" Cliff continued as emotion began to make his voice break slightly. Wallace hit the mute button on the television and they regarded the older man carefully as he took a deep quivering breath, his eyes welling with tears and Veronica felt her stomach knot painfully.

 _No... No… No…_

"It's Daisy"


	46. Chapter 46

"What happened?" Veronica asked Cliff as she got up from the couch, her blue eyes were starting to fill with tears.

 _Not Daisy… please not Daisy…_

"Honey… I'm going to have to go to the office.." Keith said quietly as he went to retrieve his coat. He would have to go to the Sheriff's Office, give them a run down on any leads that might help with their investigation.

"I can call my Mom… tell her I'm going to stay a little longer" Wallace offered and Keith nodded gratefully.

"Cliff… what happened?" Veronica pleaded.

 _This had to be a mistake…._

"They said it was a mugging gone wrong… but all Nadia at the County Medical office would tell me is that it looked like a stabbing" he told her as he sipped the glass of water that Keith had given him. He looked exhausted, his brown suit was wrinkled and he had the appearance of someone who had aged 10 years in the last few hours.

"But I _just_ saw her…" Veronica sobbed and her father wrapped his arms around her.

 _She was just here… they'd had coffee not more than 7 hours earlier…_

"I've just come from Lamb's office; he's requesting a timeline of her movements for the last few days…" Cliff told him and her dad nodded.

"This isn't right…" Veronica cried as she looked at the bowl of gumbo still sitting on the bench waiting for a friend who was never going to show…. Backup nudged her leg in concern, licking her hand as her arms sat limp by her sides.

"It never is Sweetheart" Keith said solemnly, kissing her forehead as he picked up his briefcase and followed Cliff to the car.

No doubt her father blamed himself for this… he thought that this was something to do with his Private Investigation work… he was wrong. Veronica knew instinctively… She couldn't quite explain it, something deep down told her that this was her fault.

 _Daisy had died because of something found in those files._

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay Supafly?" Wallace asked as he gave her a hug about thirty minutes later.

"No… I'm just going to climb into bed" Veronica sniffled, she felt sick, Backup was licking the rocky road out of the abandoned bowls on the floor. They said their goodbyes, and he borrowed her car to get home.

 _This is going to take longer than I thought… are you going to be okay? Love Dad_

Her dads text came about fifteen minutes after Wallace had left and Veronica had rescued the bowls and spoons to leave them steeping in the sink.

 _Yeah… I love you. V_

"Hello?" Logan asked as he picked up the phone sleepily, at the soothing sound of his voice the flood gates opened. She couldn't even form the words tell him, she just cried. "Veronica?" he asked.

"Hmmm hmmm…" she sobbed.

"Where are you?" he asked more urgently this time as he sat up in his bed.

"At Home…. Can you come over?" she sobbed.

 _Had something happened to her dad? Was she having memory problems again?_

"On my way.." he said as he pulled his favourite coral coloured hoodie and slipped his feet into his trainers.

 _He tried his best to quell the rising panic. Something was very very wrong…_

"Where are you going?" Trina asked as she sat curled on the sofa with her latest boyfriend watching a horror movie.

"Out" Logan said as he grabbed his car keys from the counter and headed out the door.

He drove faster than he probably should have on the way to the Sunset Crescent Apartment's and raced up the stairs to the small two bedroom apartment that Veronica shared with her father. Knocking on the door he paced nervously until Veronica opened it, her eyes were red and puffy, she stood in her housecoat and when she saw him she crumpled into his arms, her body shaking with grief.

"It's all my fault…." She cried, he didn't ask questions, he just wrapped his arms around her, picking her up and carried her to the couch. He kissed her forehead and soothed her blonde hair and let her cry it out of her system while he held her, he hadn't seen Veronica this upset since Lilly's funeral.

It was a little while later she shared the information that her father's new assistant had been killed earlier that evening and he couldn't have felt more helpless as the sobs shook her entire petite body as she sat cradled in his lap.

 _She's in shock._

"You can't be sure it was anything to do with the case…" Logan reasoned, doing his best to comfort her. "Your dad's work… the court cases…"

Not to mention the girls own personal crusade against the fighting Fitzpatrick's to uncover the resting place of Gustavio Toomes, her high school boyfriend who had gone missing during her Senior year.

Daisy Blossom had become quite well known in the media over the last few months for her handling of a few high profile embezzlement cases with Cliff McCormack involving a few of the more affluent 09ers involved in a Ponzi scheme involving Pensions.

Keith Mars's Private Investigatory work of wrangling bail jumpers and cheating spouses was hardly the safest line of work either, and Daisy had participated in her fair amount of take downs in the last few months that she had worked for Mars Investigations.

"You didn't hear this guy on the phone… there was something off about it… I should never have asked her to get those files…" Veronica sobbed.

 _What could she have found that would have been worth killing her for?_

"My dad will be home soon…" Veronica sighed as she listened to the voicemail message.

"You want me to go?" Logan asked softly, but even if she had said yes... he wasn't going anywhere, not when she was like this.

"No, I don't wanna be alone right now, but maybe we should go into my room?" she suggested, it would be easier to cuddle up to him if they were on her bed.

"Okay" he said gently.

They went into her room and Logan excused himself to use the bathroom while Veronica pulled up her laptop to check her emails.

 _To: Vmars_

 _From:DaBlAwesome_

 _Subject: None_

 _How's my favourite Sunshine mixed with a little Hurricane?_

 _As hungover as I am, trouble never looked so damn fine if I do say so myself ;)_

 _Finally got those files, Gerald the Git? Pfft! He was no match for me. Didn't I tell you I was savage?_

 _On the bitch scale of 1 -10 I gave him a 12!_

 _Turns out Abel Koontz has a kid, Private Eye Force is strong with you like your Pops._

 _Anyways, you were right, daughter, Amelia something, but I'll show you the stuff when I come over. Do NOT eat all the chocolate sauce!_

 _I deserve Ice-cream for being this awesome…_

 _Love D,_

 _PS know your worth and then add tax!_

"Mr Weidman?" Lucille the receptionist to the security office asked.

"Yes?" he replied.

"Mr Kane is on line 3 for you" she yawned. She didn't really understand why they insisted on keeping the support staff here for such long hours, most of the computer programmers did like to spend the quieter evenings pulling all-nighters, but this place was hardly Google or Facebook.

"Put him through" he instructed as he picked up the phone.

"Clarence… is it done?" Jake asked impatiently.

"The threat has been neutralised" he replied as he heard the tech billionaire sigh in relief. Gerald Mathews would be found the following morning having suffered a fatal overdose.


	47. Chapter 47

Keith Mars filled out the CCTV footage request forms that Deputy Leo D'Amato had given him regarding the Daisy Blossom's murder, he was still in a state of disbelief. She had been with his daughter that morning at the hospital. This shouldn't have happened, something didn't quite add up.

 _What was Daisy doing in that part of town?_

He had no cases there, had she been working on the side? The robberies for the clients he had her investigating had been going on at the Neptune Grand Hotel, was this related to a lead at the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel that he didn't know about?

The only reason he had agreed to take her on as a receptionist had been because of her ability to look after herself. She was a member of the Half Moon Dojo… she had a black belt in martial arts, she wasn't stupid. She had grown up in an 03 neighbourhood of Neptune, she had been friends with the PCHers during her younger days, she was street smart, savvy and she radiated that back-off vibe with her prickly demeanour that had won him over instantly.

Rarely had he been so taken with a boisterous spirit like hers, the palpable energy that she had brought to the office over the last few months had made her indispensable to him, when Lianne Mars had left and Veronica had become ill… he had needed that kind of encouragement to keep going. She had moulded herself into their lives like she had always belonged there, now she was gone and he couldn't help but feel responsible.

 _They say the good die young… they certainly did in Neptune, California._

Cadence Argent and her girlfriend Becca Walker stood by Cliff in the hallway as they waited on Sheriff Lamb to release the last of paperwork they had to sign.

"Sheriff Mars" Deputy Sachs said politely as he handed him back the files that he had brought down for them to photocopy for their investigation.

"That would be Former Sheriff Mars" Deputy Briar snarked, as he ogled the two girls standing in the corner with a sickening interest. He was arrogant and Keith could detect the hint of recklessness lurking underneath his sneer, he was the kind of guy that would never have been given a badge if he was still in charge. That kind of attitude got good men killed. It had been Deputy Nathaniel Briar's older brother who had been responsible for the death of Mitch Deveraux a few years ago during a routine house call to a potential domestic disturbance that escalated resulting in the Cajun man being stabbed by a kitchen knife in the yard.

"Nathaniel" Keith said coldly.

"You finally down sharing your dirty picture collection?" Deputy Ryan's joked as he watched Keith pack the files back into his suitcase. Ryan's was a silver-tongued limelight loving troublemaker, he reminded Keith of a younger version of Don Lamb… if only he'd paid better attention to the signs at the time… Don Lamb had usurped his position as Sheriff by releasing the Lilly Kane evidence video all over the internet.

"If I was going to do that, you know you would be the first one to know" Keith quipped. He hated these latest additions to the Balboa County Sheriff's Department, the place was almost unrecognisable from the department he had left, the corruption in Neptune had exploded beyond all control, and there was only one person to blame… whomever had killed Lilly Kane.

That one case had cost Keith everything. If he'd been a better Sheriff… if he'd paid closer attention… if he hadn't allowed the Kane's to blindside him with that emergency recall election… it hadn't helped that Lianne had been causing problems at home, her unfounded insistence that Jake Kane was innocent made no sense to him. The martial problems had only been the beginning, losing his home, his job… and then Lianne's disappearance. His poor daughter Veronica's trouble at school, the loss of status, the way the town had turned on him, his reputation… it had almost been enough to drive him out of town completely.

Was he a fool for still trying to solve this case? He'd almost lost the only thing in the world that mattered to him… Veronica was healing slowly, but if anything… This recent loss just proved that he had to keep her as far away from this part of his life as possible. She couldn't come back to work for him. In fact… he should probably think about moving them out of town. Transferring her to Pam High… starting over someplace new… maybe try and track down Lianne like he had been avoiding for the last 8 months.

"How long until the footage will be ready?" Keith asked quietly.

"We still have to get the forensics' guys to have a look over the scene, the final medical examiners report should be available by Thursday, I don't know what the Neptune Galaxy Resort Hotel's lawyers are like with co-operating with the investigation for the footage, but I will let you know Mr Mars" Leo promised.

"Keith" Sheriff Lamb said as he came out of his office and handed Cadence a few forms to sign.

"Don" he replied curtly. He knew from Veronica that Daisy and Lamb had been involved with one another for a few months, but the Sheriff didn't seem to be too affected by the news. "Sorry for your loss" he added.

"Just another good girl with a hood playlist" Lamb said dismissively as he took back the clipboard from a disgusted Cadence.

"I can't believe she got involved with such a fuckboy!" Cadence growled but her girlfriend held her back. Leo shifted uncomfortably.

"She was someone's daughter" Cliff said angrily. He was going to have to be the one to call her tutors at Hearst College and try to contact her parents tomorrow.

"She had a good heart… but damn that mouth…" Don mused as he stood with his hands on his hips. "Damn shame… she should have gone to see the Wizard… asked for some Ruby slippers to take her home" Sheriff Lamb joked and Keith had to turn on his heel leave before he did something he regretted like swing and hit him in the face.


	48. Chapter 48

Veronica got out of the car with her Dad clutching the small box of Daisy's things from the office as she walked towards the small off-campus Hearst student housing her friend had shared with her roommate Cadence and her roommate's girlfriend Becca.

It was a small ground floor apartment in the 04 area code of Neptune, about a half hours ride from the college and two blocks from the Neptune Family Planning Free Clinic where Becca worked in the evenings.

"You sure you are okay to do this honey?" her father asked gently.

"Yeah.." she replied, her voice was hoarse and her eyes were still red from the hours of crying. Shortly after she'd found that email from Daisy, she had come completely undone in Logan's arms. Her father hadn't said anything about coming home at such a late hour and finding her curled up in her boyfriend's arms, he'd been too pre-occupied with going through the case files of the recent burglary case that he was working on.

Veronica couldn't be 100% sure that it was those Abel Koontz files that had gotten Daisy killed, but they hadn't been with the evidence found at the crime scene when she'd been…

She inhaled sharply and tried to fight back the urge to curl up into the foetal position again.

That was part of the reason she had volunteered to help her father today to clear out her desk at the Mars Investigations Office and at Cliff's legal firm, so she could see if there had been any trace of them. There wasn't, and as she watched the older Mars wrestle with the undeniable guilt they were both feeling, she knew she couldn't tell him now. He'd definitely make her stop… and now she couldn't. She owed it to both Lilly and now Daisy to bring whoever did this to justice.

 _It had to have been the Kane's._

It was the only thing that made sense, why hadn't she considered this before? It was an oversight that had cost Daisy her life. They would have to be so much more careful now.

Her father had refused to give her any updates on exactly what had gone down with Lamb at the Sheriff's department, or to share any information, and Cliff had been even more reluctant to divulge any details.

She walked up the small steps behind Keith Mars and were greeted by a short dark haired girl in a floral dress.

"Thank you" Cadence sobbed, as she took the small box of things from Veronica.

"Is there anything else we can do?" Keith asked.

"No… I'm going to Fed-ex the last of her things to her aunt in San Diego, she doesn't really have much other family here in Neptune" Becca explained.

"Well.. send me the bill" Keith told them, handing them his invoicing address.

"Oh you don't have to…." Cadence protested.

"I insist…" Keith told her firmly.

"The funeral is probably going to be on Thursday, next week… after the coroner releases her…. I think it's probably going to take place down in Weller, near her Grandmother's old house" Nadia, on of Daisy's the previous housemates explained. Her boyfriend, a taller Hispanic man wearing a leather jacket, rubbed her shoulders.

"Mateo" Keith said reaching out his hand. "It's been a long time"

"Sheriff" he smiled politely and shook her Dads hand.

"I see you still got your bike" Keith pointed as he hinted at the motorcycle parked around the side.

"Yeah… still runs, although, I don't get out as much as I used to" he said quietly. "Daisy was helping me restore part of the engine block"

"There's a scrap yard, out on 7th and Oak Hill, they should be able to help you finish" Veronica said quietly. _Weevil's Uncle's place._

"Can I get you some tea… or something?" Cadence offered.

"No thank you, I am fine… but I was hoping to ask you some questions…" Keith said as he took the housemates aside and started to try and fill in a timeline of Daisy's movements over the last few days. She didn't know what had happened down at the Sheriff's station, but her father was incensed when he had come home, he was determined to solve this case.

Veronica took the opportunity to have a small tour of the house, it was nothing like she had expected a student house to look. She stopped near the door of what was Daisy's bedroom, she'd never been to her house, but everything about the small room screamed single career woman. Her lab coat hung over the back of her small office desk, it was all modern clean lines, her furniture was functional and there were no sentimental Knick knacks or family photos in the room. It smelled of vanilla and lavender, a small Venus fly trap sat on the window.

The only things out of place apart from the leather bound brown journal with case notes beside a small old cassette tape recorder sitting on the computer table were the wardrobe was open, and some of the t-shirts were thrown onto the bed, her training shoes sat discarded by the door, and her iPod sat by on the edge of her bed, almost like it was just waiting for her to come back and put the headphones back on and jam out to the music.

Everything just paused, waiting eerily for the dark haired girl with an instantaneous cheeky smile to come back in and fill it full of life. Being in this room made her feel jittery… there was a vacuum here now. Just like in Lilly's room. Previously occupied spaces… just empty. Void of something vital.

Veronica looked at the clothes in the closet and noticed the petite motorcycle jacket. She recognised it from her freshmen year, the senior girls who dated guys in the PCHers used to wear them.

"Gustavio gave her that" Mateo explained as he stood in the doorway.

"The Reaper" Veronica said quietly. Daisy's dead boyfriend. Felix Toome's older brother, the guy who'd went missing.

"Yeah… I think he's the reason she got into… all this" he said hinting at the book shelves full of scientific forensic's textbooks and the small microscope on the desk. The brown leather journal. _Her Gustavio investigation…_

"You knew him" Veronica observed.

"Yeah… he was a friend of mine… me and Daze… we came up together" Mateo explained. "Her and Gus.. they were true Ride or Die"

"Mateo… Marissa is here" Becca called from the living room.

"Excuse me" he smiled solemnly as he went into the next room.

"I still can't believe she's gone…" Nadia remarked as she stood in the doorway. "I never should have moved out…" she sighed.

"You can't blame yourself" Veronica comforted.

"I don't… I blame this fucking town…" she swore angrily as she brushed away hot tears. "Daisy had something for you…" Nadia said changing the subject. Handing over a small digital recording device and a book. "It's from her first year… some Professor at Hearst… he's a profiler… I think she thought this was something you'd be interested in…"

Veronica took the small package with the new digital recorder, a handmade label stuck to it.

 _For when you need a little reminder…_

"Thank you" Veronica said quietly.

"I think it was meant to be a leaving present… she had Finals coming up, and with you being nearly back to yourself… I reckon she thought that her internship with your dad would be over soon" Nadia continued before Becca called her into the next room.

"Veronica… sweetheart.. you okay to go?" Keith asked as he stuck his head in the door.

Veronica looked down at the brown leather case file and cassette tape recorder and picked them up, putting it behind the ones that Nadia had given her as Marissa Toomes came into the room and Cadence started to open up some of the drawers for them to begin packing away Daisy's things to send to her aunts.

"Yeah… I got everything I need" Veronica replied, before slipping them into her black leather bag.

Veronica and her father would find out what happened to her friend she promised herself as she climbed into the passenger seat of her fathers car.

 _And then she'd finish what Daisy started._

 _For anybody missing Daisy... there's an Alternate Ending Season 1 Finale short story I wrote featuring Daisy and Norris Clayton... if you wanna get to know a wee bit more about her background and add a bit more depth to this chapter. It's Called **Just Another Flower**_


	49. Chapter 49

"Hello Logan" Ms James said as she welcomed him into the guidance counsellors office and indicated that he should take his usual seat.

"Hey.." he said in a voice not much more than a whisper and she gave him a concerned glance, she'd known that the recent medical issues with the Mars girl had broken through that wall of anger that had been keeping him from fully processing Lilly Kane's murder but she hadn't expected a young man like him, a known silver-tongued trouble-maker, from a wealthy 09er family to become so dependent on her help. She worried about him; he was a really good student and a sweet boy underneath all his usual boisterous bravado.

"How have you been feeling lately?" she prompted.

"Useless?" he said in a hoarse whisper. "Veronica has lost another good friend… again… she was murdered… and all I can do is stand back and watch as she falls apart…. I can't fix it… I can't make it not hurt…" he said while his cinnamon-brown eyes focused on the small plant in the window.

"Is this about the girl from her father's office?" Ms James asked. She had heard news reports about the murder of a former student, Daisy Blossom, it had taken her most of the morning to realise that it had been the same girl her predecessor Mr Wu had mentored before her admission into Hearst College. The girl who had been dating another troubled student, Gustavio Toomes who had gone missing about 5 years ago under less than savoury circumstances during the schools last major problems with drugs on campus.

"Yeah" Logan confirmed. She didn't mention that she had been reading through the girls permanent file after the gossip in the teacher's lounge had started after the news had broken.

"What happened to Ms Blossom was not your fault Logan" Ms James assured him.

"I never said it was" Logan snapped defensively.

"I'm just saying… there's no way that anyone could have predicted what was going to happen… I know it's difficult to watch someone you love in pain, but all you can do is be there for her as best you can" she told him gently.

Logan sighed, he couldn't explain this to her. Veronica had been tearing herself apart for the last few days because she was certain that the files she had asked Daisy to collect from the Neptune Registry Office on Abel Koontz had been what had gotten her killed.

That he had been wrong about Lilly's murder this whole time… that he'd been the one to suggest to the Kane family about using his father's public relations agent Raj Sanju and press connections to call for the emergency recall election that had resulted in Keith Mars losing his job as Sheriff.

That he had been in Neptune the day Lilly had been murdered… that he still hadn't confessed that part to Veronica because he couldn't bear to see the horrified, disgusted look in her eyes when she'd eventually find out how badly he had failed the women that he loved?

"I know… I just… feel so helpless…" he admitted.

 _He loved Veronica so much… if she ever found out…. If he lost her…._

 _This whole conspiracy theory… the implications that Duncan or his family could have had something to do with Lilly's murder… it was freaking him out… and what if she was right about those files… if Veronica kept digging and it put her on the killers radar?_

"That's a natural reaction… you just have to assure her that you are there for her" Ms James told him.

Veronica stood in the small kitchen of the Mars Investigations Office and finished putting the used coffee pods into the trash and picked up the two coffees for her father's most recent client. Another robbery at the Neptune Grand Hotel, except this time someone had broken into the VIP lounge in the small restaurant and bar downstairs. Wordlessly she handed the beverages to the Neptune Grand Manager Gerard Quesnelle and her father.

"I am sure you can understand how an issue as delicate as this… needs to be handled discreetly?" Gerard told him, casting a worried glance at the presence of a teenage girl.

"I assure you Mr Quesnelle, here at Mars Investigations, we pride ourselves on discretion" her father replied.

Veronica smiled in agreement and turned, closing the door behind her, taking the seat at her desk. It felt wrong to be back here… like something important was missing.

Of course it was… most of her recent memories about this office were the ones where Daisy had been showing her the new filing system and mini-lessons in how to get through locked doors without leaving fingerprints or trace evidence, or simply just having an afternoon coffee with her friend. She glanced at the small leather book she had taken from her bedroom, the investigation into her missing boyfriend.

Daisy had been working on this case for almost five years with very little leads. It was peppered with legal terms, forensic lingo, and potential body dump sites. It looked like something that would have been compiled by the FBI or someone in the DA's office. So much detail… because even though her father was sure that the body was buried somewhere under the foundations of the Neptune Leisure and Spa complex which had been getting build about the time that Ciaran and Tyrone Fitzpatrick had been working there… the McCoy and Gleason Land Trust kept throwing appeals notices to block the excavation order. Daisy had been trying to get all this information together so she could get a judges court order to get permission to try and recover it so that the deeply religious Marissa Toomes could lay her eldest son to rest properly.

She had said as much in her recordings, Veronica had been listening to the small tape recorder over the last few days, even in the headphones that joie de vivre attitude could still be heard in her voice.

 _Why had she sent Daisy to get those files?_

 _Why hadn't she considered the idea that the Kane's would have someone watching those records?_

Determined to pull herself out of those thoughts she reached for the stack of unopened mail sitting by her desk and started to file it away under invoices to be sent out, returns information from the Border Patrol Office, the latest weekly Bounty Notices and checks to be lodged.

Then she found it… a small visitors notice and an invitation to visit San Quentin… for access to Abel Koontz.


	50. Chapter 50

"Remind me to forget this moment" Veronica muttered under her breath to Wallace as she accepted the box of Most Spirited Student Spirit cookies from Pam and Saoirse as they wandered the halls of Neptune High in their skimpy cheerleader uniforms, apparently her re-admittance into the 09er Elite ranks had come with its own range of snacks. They were also gearing up to play against the rival football team at All Saints High School from Toto Santos. This month, she had been nominated as the Student showing the Most Spirit due to her recent illness and personal tragedy at the loss of her friend Daisy Blossom. There had been no collective show of student body love and unity after the death of her best friend Lilly Kane last year.

No, after that particular loss she had shrunk in size, and they had firmly let her know that after her relationship with Duncan Kane ended, the fall from grace in the absence of Lilly, the 09ers had made it clear that she had flown too high to the sun, unworthy to be allowed amongst them. It was moments like this since the recovery of her longer term memories, the stark difference in their behaviour towards her, that made her most resentful. It also made her struggle with her feelings about her foundling relationship with Logan Echolls, her former best friend-turned enemy and bully-turned lover and ally.

 _It was sickening how much his approval of her now meant the rest of the student body considered her worthy to belong walking the halls of Neptune High free of harassment and abuse._

She didn't want to feel that anger, but sometimes, she couldn't help but notice the control that he exuded over the rest of her classmates and how he had been the orchestrator of much of her misery over the last year. It made forgiving him that much more difficult. She had been the victim of his pain and borne the brunt of his anger, his favourite target; it had been driving her insane. She had been drowning in a sea of his cruelty; the vicious fun he had encouraged had certainly left its scars.

"Are you going to eat those?" Wallace said eyeing up the glitter covered rainbow painted box.

"Without my Royal Food Tester? Absolutely not…" Veronica quipped.

"Are those chocolate chip?" he said as he peaked inside the box.

"Or pellets of rat poison… you never can be too sure" she retorted.

"Oh come on… you really think Meg would let them do that to you?" he replied, quirking an eyebrow. His expression told her that he thought she was being more than a little paranoid.

"All yours big guy…" she smiled as she handed over the box and he put them into his locker on top of his own smaller box of Spirit Cookies he got for the basketball teams upcoming game against Pam High.

"Just as long as you aren't turning into one of those girls who think eating breakfast as giving up" he retorted, narrowing his eyes at her slim waist. He knew she hadn't been eating that well lately; she had barely slept according to her father and had been spending longer and longer hours at the Mars Investigations Office. A situation which Wallace would remedy if he didn't have to take up those extra hours at the Sac-N-Pac after his co-worker Mario Esposito had been arrested for a bar fight a week ago, with priors and being out on probation, he would have to cover the slack until a replacement could be found.

"Are you going to ask me if I only feel pretty when I am hungry Wallace?" she answered, glaring at him. She knew her dad and best friend had been discussing her withdrawn behaviour lately. It wasn't that she was trying to punish herself… she was just trying not to spend every waking moment screaming. She had done it again… after her Mom had left, she had let this person in, she had let Daisy in, trusted her and gotten close to her… and she was taken away.

The visitors pass to see Abel Koontz was sitting in the secret compartment of her desk in her office. She hadn't even mentioned it to Logan yet.

"I just don't want you spending so much time lost in your own head… there's unicorns and shit in there, you might lose an eye" he teased.

"If someone asked you who you were… would you know more than your name?" she asked absently.

"So this is the kind of thoughts that go on inside that Pocket Venus head of yours when I am not around?" Logan interrupted as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her backwards against his broad chest, kissing her cheek as she turned to face him. "Hey Beautiful… how was class?" he asked. It was her first official day back at Neptune High after the most recent hospital visit and their class schedules had prevented them from spending much time together this morning.

"Oh you know… If homework goes too easy you are doing it wrong." she mused, giving him a smile.

"I was wrong about the chapters you needed for English wasn't I?" he sighed. He had been doing his best to get together the assignments for her while she was out so she wouldn't fall too far behind.

"You got the information from Kennedy didn't you?" Veronica asked knowingly. Kennedy was the only 09er that Logan knew was in her class… he had also greatly underestimated her loyalty to Duncan Kane's current girlfriend, Homecoming Queen Faith Schultz. The little clique had made it clear that the most recent recovery of her memories, had put her firmly back into the Nemesis category, despite there being no interest on her part to try and rekindle her former relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Son of CEO Billionaire, Jake Kane.

"Dwight, you're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering" Hector Alonso joked as he pushed one of the junior class men into a locker and mocked lunging at him who immediately lowered his head and scurried away.

"Vato.. enough with that shit" Felix Toomes complained in disgust, as much as he usually got a thrill over heckling some academic overachieving scrawny nerds, doing it to a Freshmen while they were now Juniors though just didn't seem very sporting. He had just about peed his pants. Ain't no one got time to be cleaning up that shit… especially since his aunt Tricia's boyfriend was doing a few shifts here as Janitor. Dwight Van Handal might have been an 06er… but he was just tragic, he still had a bowl cut worn in curtains like he was in the 90s and was carrying a trapper keeper for god-sakes!

"In 20 years, I bet there's going to be a college course called eye contact" Logan told her as they watched the little display as the PCHers moved like a pack through the hallways. Interestingly Weevil Navarro, their leader was not amongst them. Veronica studied her boyfriend carefully, ever since he had read the journal she had kept during her amnesia and discovered Lilly's affair with Weevil, she had been waiting for some kind of response, or retaliation… but so far… there had been nothing.

Veronica shifted her gaze to her best friend whole had instinctively stiffened, despite the uneasy truce she had brokered with the PCHers and Wallace, she could tell their attack on the Sac-n-Pac and the night he had been left duct-taped butt naked to the schools flagpole had left its own scars. He was still anxious and regarded the gang with a healthy dose of fear, not that the athletics teams would allow an attack on their star Basketball player, he had almost made co-captain this year so he had his own crowd now to watch his Six when she couldn't be around.

"Yo, Space Girl" Havier 'Shiv' Esposito called over as the group walked over towards them.

Now it was Veronica's turn to stiffen warily, it was a common insult some of the PCHers had coined during middle school that continued to haunt her to this day.

 _That's what you get with a surname called Mars…_

"Guera, you signed up with the 09ers now or ir a su propia bola?" Felix asked as he cast a dismissive glance towards Logan who had moved to stand protectively in front of her.

 _Was she doing her own thing?_

"Relax surfer boy, we aren't here for you… we just want to talk to your girl here" Hector taunted.

"Hector… come on.. you know we aren't here to cause problems like that" Felix growled and glared at his companion.

"Es un pijo, me cae gordo" Hector snorted and Havier nodded in agreement.

 _Okay… so they pretty much just think Logan is a wealthy snob… this isn't going to go well…_

"Then why ARE you here? Need help with your homework? ESL teachers not make the budget this year?" Logan sniped.

"Qué fuerte! Surfer boy got some stones on him…" Orlando Cassena the fourth boy snarled.

"Logan…" Veronica soothed as she reached a hand out to touch his arm and pulled him away, putting herself to stand in front of Felix. "You wanted to talk… talk…" she told him firmly.

"She be little but fierce… I like my girls fiery like that… bet she gets real riled up in the sack huh? Blondie here must be a hot fu-" Orlando continued teasing Logan who was about to lunge himself forwards at the biker before he beaten to it as Orlando was firmly silenced by a slap to the back of the head, turning Veronica saw that it was Weevil passing by him.

"What I told you about that Mouth?" Weevil growled, grateful Veronica felt her entire body sigh with relief. The last thing she wanted was for Logan to get suspended for fighting after she had finally gotten back to school. Her father had had her on lock down, she hadn't gotten to see him much after the night he had come home and found Logan in her bedroom… that had resulted in a very uncomfortable Father-Daughter conversation about how her memories had been recovered and a very stern lecture on the birds and the bees. He was still angry with her… she'd broken his trust and now with Daisy's murder, he was extra paranoid on top of it. Until they got more leads on exactly what had happened, they couldn't be sure.

The thief who had been robbing the Neptune Grand Hotel had been caught, there was no connection to the Neptune Galaxy Resort, no obvious reason in her father knowledge of why Daisy would have been in that part of town… and Veronica hadn't found the courage yet to tell him that it was because of the records she had sent Daisy for… just a few days later, the clerk had been found dead in his bathtub after the neighbours in his apartment block started to complain about the smell. This wasn't a coincidence.

 _Maybe that was why she had been stalling in telling Logan about the visitor pass to see Abel Koontz? She didn't know just how big the cover up had been…_

"You ask her yet?" Weevil said as he nudged Felix's arm.

"No.. just got here" Felix told him.

"Ask her what?" Logan demanded, he was suddenly more defensive now that Weevil was here, competition and jealous was a natural part of the male psyche, Veronica realized, and Weevil's presence after the revelations of Lilly's secret relationship with him must have created its own insecurity for him, she reached down and squeezed his hand with hers, he gripped it back, possessively.

"He wasn't talking to you.." Hector snapped.

"Guys… guys… I'm flattered… but I already gave the Spirit Cookies to Wallace" she quipped, shrugging, trying to look adorable to ease some of the tension.

"I came here to talk to you about Daisy" Felix replied coldly, and immediately Veronica felt the air lock in her lungs. Logan's warm hand in hers, went from being something meant to reassure him, to the only thing help keep her standing.

Her mind mentally did the calculations…

 _Gustavio Toomes… Felix's Older Brother…. What was it that Mateo had said?_

 _Daisy and Gustavio had been True Ride or Die…_

Nodding she met his gaze, she knew that Daisy had stayed close with Felix's family after Gustavio had went missing, she talked frequently of the visits to see his Mother Marissa, and two younger sisters Clarita and Maya. She had told her of her displeasure that Felix was choosing to get involved in gang life, and how she had wanted more for him but that the boy just wouldn't settle down.

 _Some people just don't want to be saved… the boys that choose that Life? There's only one way out…_

Did Felix blame her father? Was he here to mete out some kind of retribution?

The thought made something in her stomach tighten in apprehension.

"I'm listening…" she swallowed and waited.

"I want to hire you to find the scumbag that did this" Felix replied.

That… was something she had not been expecting.

(sorry for the delay in updating this... I am working on it!)


	51. Chapter 51

(Song for this scene Flora Cash - You're Somebody Else)

"Why would you want Veronica to investigate this for you?" Wallace queried the group of PCHers who had decided to crowd around their lockers. Some guy with spiky hair and a black leather jacket whispered something into Weevils ear and he just nodded, handing over a set of keys before the guy turned and walked towards the exit to the car parks.

"Because when it comes to this shit she has five times the brain capacity of every other human being on the planet?" Hector snorted while he looked the petite blond up and down.

"The mind is a tricky little devil at the best of times… and her doctor told her to avoid stressful situations" Logan said, shaking his head _._

 _No way was he allowing Veronica to get involved in this… Daisy had gotten herself killed pulling on that thread…_

"Don't think you get any kind of say in this Surfer Boy, because you will lose… Every. Single. Fucking. Time" Hector threatened, Veronica gave Weevil eyes. Fuck. She wasn't sure what their relationship had been like in recent months…

 _09ers and PCHers facing off was like Worlds colliding…_

The last thing she needed was for someone like Dick or Casey Gant to come along at any moment thinking that Logan needed back up.

"Daisy was Family… I need to know what happened to her" Felix growled forcefully at her boyfriend, but Veronica could feel his eyes on her. "She considered you Blood… you can't say no to this" he added firmly but Veronica could see the redness in his eyes, the silent pleading behind those dark pools, it was the same emotion that was threatening to swallow her up as well.

 _Grief and love were conjoined. You didn't get one without the other._

"My dad's working on it" she replied quietly, even though her posture had already ceded her defeat. She'd already started on the case.

"Now you are too" Weevil answered, unnecessarily, she looked at him but didn't see any malice in his eyes, instead he looked… lost. He was firm, but he wasn't cruel about requesting her assistance. She knew that Felix and Weevil had grown up in the same neighbourhood, they were practically like brothers but she kept that sentiment to herself.

"I'll see what I can find out" Veronica told him. She was used to a solitary life, taking down targets that no one else would touch. She could already feel Logan's disapproval radiating from his skin. He was acting like she had disobeyed him. She wasn't used to having to consider his feelings when taking on a case… he was moving out of the spaces in her life he used to inhabit and was now parking his tight behind in other spaces… although… not all of this invasive side of him was entirely unwelcome. A few fleeting slivers of her memory brought back the feel of being in those possessive arms on Homecoming night.

 _Being owned by someone had never felt so fucking good._

Seeming content with her promise, the others turned with Hector and slithered away from them like a collection of serpents, moving fluidly down the hallway from them. Felix lingered behind a moment and Weevil stayed with him.

"You can reach us here" he said, handing over the card of a local laundromat.

The Dirty Nickel

"I know this place… that Hernandez guys owns it right?" Veronica asked, she felt Logan shift beside her at the less than mean-spirited gesture. He was in her periphery, she watched him fold his arms defensively, he wasn't pleased, but she could tell he was worried, she had been withdrawn from him since finding out about Daisy… but she wasn't used to having a sounding board, a partner who saw all the pieces in her investigations. Her mind flickered to the parcel that had arrived his morning, news report tapes from the first few weeks of the Abel Koontz arrest and the transcripts from the court house that she had applied for before homecoming. She still had the recordings to listen to from the Homecoming Pins and the Bugs that she had planted in the girls locker room but she'd been so busy helping her father in the Mars Investigations Office after that Neptune Grand thief case for Mr Quesnelle that she hadn't looked at any of it yet.

 _The red tape of the public administration system… I wonder if Dad's got that CCTV footage from the crime scene yet?_

"Frankie" Weevil nodded.

"Te ves preciosa cuando estas nerviosa" Felix muttered at her.

"What, you couldn't find a hide out with a cuter name like Squeakies?" Logan grumbled as he read the name on the card he took from her hand. He knew enough Spanish to know that Felix was telling his girlfriend that she was cute when she was nervous. He felt himself gritting his teeth and digging his nails into his palms.

"You mean the kind with a cute little café inside and where you get to cuddle puppies in the corner?" Weevil asked sarcastically.

Rolling her eyes at the testosterone pissing contest Veronica ran through the mental list of local business owners… Francis Hernandez, the more public friendly face of the Latino Blood operation in Neptune… her father had warned her once that he was the kind of guy who cleaned a lot more than clothes at his little slice of Neptune Hell for all sorts of unsavoury characters. Francis was a fence… the kind of middle man who could get you what you needed, drugs, illegal documents, information and the occasional custom order for stolen car parts. The Dirty Nickel was right in the heart of Weevil's neighbourhood, she knew from a case last year involving some pricey 09er hubcaps that part of the deal for keeping the area clean of the heavier drugs was the PCHers doing the odd job and targeting certain wealthy vehicles on demand. A mutually beneficial arrangement when the Latino Blood's didn't want to risk having their members do hard time.

"It's not the smartest idea to go discussing things like this at school" she told him pointedly, knowing that Logan and Wallace would interpret that firmly as her desire not to discuss the matter further when they were alone again.

"Hence the card" Felix retorted. "Becca will be there tonight about 7pm" he explained.

 _Becca… the roommate from Daisy's apartment? Why would she want to meet up with me? I already know what happened to her… I got her killed because I was fucking stupid… because I didn't think things through properly._

"This still doesn't explain why you aren't just going to her father about all of this" Wallace sighed, his tone told her he was as stressed as Logan was about this little predicament… how stressed out would he be if he knew the full extent of her investigations into Lilly Kane's murder as well?

"Because… Keith Mars used to be Sheriff… he still thinks like a cop… we need someone whose just as motivated as we are… and willing to dig deeper and cross lines to get the truth" Weevil replied finally.

"Besides blondie here is better at blending in than any plainclothes officer" Felix added.

"Your vote of confidence warms my heart" she said, in far too sweet a tone to be sincere, smiling sarcastically. She may have looked like a perky, pretty girl but she wasn't intimidated… this whole encounter felt like a fucking ambush, she was tired, and she still had the mandated counselling session with Ms James that Mr Clemmons had ordered after her return.

"Just don't be late" Weevil told her before nodding at Felix to start heading towards the auto workshop rooms. Most of the PCHers were fanatical about muscle cars, most of them were doing vocational training, so didn't have to attend as many of the higher AP classes as the rest of the student body. It was hard not to look at their tattoos, baggy black clothes, chains and not see _other_.

"Veronica…" Logan said in a low voice and she watched as Wallace took that as his sign to avoid any potential embarrassment of getting caught up in couple drama to exit stage left.

"I promised May and Nicole I'd help with the banners for the Cheer-off finals against Clint High" she told him, changing the subject.

"We need to talk about this" he pressed as the bell rang and the sophomore classes started to filter out into the halls. His posture rigid with that innate sense of entitlement, her breath left her in a long, cathartic exhale.

"We will… just right now… I gotta go have that meeting with Ms Let's-Be-Besties James" she said in annoyance but at least she wouldn't have had to go back for the yearbook picture layout discussions. The crowd of students moving towards their classes was like a lively organism now, the tension in his body was palpable, but he broke eye contact with her and looked of down into the distance. She studied his face, his major fault lines, beyond that air-brushed façade he used in their stifling privileged school society with its pretty rules and manipulation who regular exercised their schadenfreude muscles.

 _He wanted to argue with her but thought better of it._

"Hey… I've got my eyes on the prize and my feet on the ground" she promised, trying her best to soothe his frayed nerves, pulling him closer.

 _And before I know where to go from here I need to finish my digital eavesdropping…_

"I don't want to be charging on ahead of you, or trailing behind you… I want to be beside you Veronica. Together. It's what we agreed" Logan sighed, he made it sound like an accusation as he stood looking down into her blue eyes. He wanted to whisk them both away from here, seek solace in his bed, dimly he noted the burble of voices, the tension between them was like a powder keg, all it needed was a match.

He felt like a satellite in orbit around her, when she pulled away from him like this, it drove him crazy. The Universe could offer him a million galaxies but he only wanted one single planet… whichever one allowed him to be with her. She was the epicentre of his existence… and she had a body that sent his hormones into party mode. If it came to it, he knew how to keep her distracted… she shared his bed with wild abandon. He was an expert in detecting a weakness in an opponent, she may have been trying to keep him at arm's length, to play that same old destructive tape again, wanting to fall into old habits. Veronica was Veronica, enigmatic, taciturn, not giving an inch… but Want, Need and Lust swirled between them and he would use it to his advantage if he had to. His dance of seduction could be one of infiltration into that stubborn labyrinth of iron bars she put up against her thoughts.

 _He'd make her need him the way she needed air… like he needed her… she wanted to instigate boundaries… when it came to her decisions… she kept a very practical filter on everything… he would have to unravel that resolve… even if it meant he'd have to do some very X-rated things to her body._

"I'm trying…" she told him. He didn't understand the struggle past her own barriers… she'd been forged in a cauldron of constant fighting and mistrust. She was finding herself confused and suspicious of everyone… like she was losing her mind and didn't know what to do or who to trust. The closer she was going to get to finding out what happened to Lilly and Daisy, the more danger they would be in... "Someone has purposely choreographed all of this… like a giant game… and if we don't move carefully we could end up as someone's pawn" she told him, and he looked thoughtful as he inched her back against the lockers, fixing her in place in front of him.

"I only want you Veronica… and I want you safe…" he whispered, cupping her face as the tumbling tresses of blond hair fell around her shoulders. A number of instinctive sarcastic responses occurred to her… she didn't believe in fairy tales and white knights but he claimed her mouth in a kiss that plundered her soul earning a feral groan from her as he deepened the erotic dalliance of their mouths and he felt an answering lick of fire across his manhood.

 _You belong to me… it's been too long since we were close like this… you are mine.. and only mine… all rights reserved._

 _He hated that Weevil was trying to make claims on Veronica's time…_

"Alright you two… break it up… this is a school not Make-Out Point" Mr Sanders warned as he moved through the hallway and shooed them onto their next lessons as she pulled back from Logan almost gasping, looking up into his scalding, hungry gaze.

She excused herself and went into the girls bathroom to catch her breath and to try and calm the rush of colour that had erupted in her cheeks. Her rational thought process had been taken over by something more primitive, her senses went into overload when he clamped her against his whipcord body like that. She may have been struggling a little in recent days with this foundling relationship, but she couldn't deny the electricity that crackled between them. She couldn't decide whether of her recent forgetting and remembering was a blessing or a curse, and whether given all their history it was possible to start over. One minute Logan Echolls had been an absolute douche bag and the next moment she was swooning and completely in love with him. A staple plot line of bad day time soap operas and romantic comedies, it never seems real, even though it happens every day. How does the brain selectively lose chunks of information but retain others?

Even the neurologist Dr Holtz hadn't been able to explain it to her. "The brain is a complicated organ" he had sighed.

 _Duh. well, it is._


	52. Chapter 52

"I was stuck in this life I didn't remember, squeezed into the shell of this girl-this stranger-and the more I learned about her, the more I was starting to hate her." Veronica sighed as she fidgeted with the small letter opener in her hand, glancing at the pretty white flowers on the window sill. "Memories define us, they tell us who we've been in the past and give insight to who we are likely to be in the future. But what if you wake with no memory? Can you imagine the bone chilling dread on waking up, to discover, not only that you have no idea where you are, but also that you have no idea WHO you are?"

"I'm pretty sure that losing your memories was like winning the lottery. You were getting a second chance at being a better daughter, and friend, and falling hard for Logan Echolls, a boy who had always looked out for you-even if the old you treated him like an enemy" Ms James offered.

"Memory. That's a minefield. And according to the student body here… and the old Logan? Veronica Mars was awfully unlikable, I'm assuming you remember the rumours that used to be scribbled on the bathroom walls? Because I do… I still do now… and presumably it was only contracting a heavy dose of jerkiness with that head trauma that made me tolerable to them now" she snapped back.

"You feel resentful about your new acceptance among your peers?" Ms James asked.

"I don't trust it…" Veronica admitted.

Her hopes of escape to Stanford and catching Lilly's killer had been the only thing to get her through her time here, now her nemesis, Logan Echolls comes back into her life and does everything he can to drive her out of her mind even as he steals her heart?

 _He hated her._

At least, he tried to hate her, but it was so damn difficult to hate someone that he couldn't live without. He tried to ignore her, tried to focus on anything but her, but nothing worked… at least that's what he had told her when he finally confessed everything.

"Are you reluctant to reconcile?" she asked carefully. There was no doubt for her that they still had feelings for each other and their unresolved issues before Veronica's recent medical issues had been tearing them both apart inside. It had been one of the toughest situations for her personally in the last year, seeing two young people who obviously cared so much for one another put each other through so unnecessary misery after the loss of a loved one… Logan had allowed his anger and pride to him from hearing her out.

Becky James watched the question crossover the teenagers face. She just really hoped that she could save the situation for them both…. Neptune high school had been chaotic, turbulent in the wake of Lilly Kane's death. Veronica had been the unfortunate outlet for much of the Echolls boys pain and frustration. There were moments she had hated Logan, but in the end, when he finally started opening up in their sessions… he was completely redeemed. His changes were gradual… he was very affected by her departure… she just wished she could make Veronica see that. Part of the poor girl was convinced that he would only hurt and humiliate her again.

Seemingly having resolved in the idea, her confidence boosted her up in her seat like a pair of 6 inch heels. Unflinching she shook her head, she was cold-as-ice composed, her sapphire blue eyes daring Ms James to contradict her or press her further.

"I was very sorry to hear about your friend" Ms James told her softly.

"Daisy" Veronica told her.

"Yes… she used to be a student here" Ms James answered her.

"Yeah.. she was…" she nodded.

"How have you been processing that?" Ms James asked.

"Fine" she answered evasively, but despite the back-off vibe she radiated with her prickly demeanour, Ms James continued.

"And has it been difficult rediscovering the memories of Lilly?" the older educator pressed.

"I don't want to talk about Lilly" Veronica told her quickly.

"Your medical counsellor said here that you have been reporting unsettling nightmares after your Recovered Memory Therapy… are those still occurring?" she asked, changing the subject.

Veronica felt the breath seize in her throat.. the nightmares… the ones with the fragments of pressure and pain from the night she had been raped… sometimes there was no such thing as sufficient mental preparation. Shaking her head a little too abruptly she shook no. Their gazes tangled for a few painful moments and she was thankful when the older guidance counsellor just decided to give her a tight smile.

"Do you have any more idea of what they were about?" Ms James asked.

"I'd rather not discuss it… ever" Veronica told her firmly.

"I can't help you Veronica if you at least try to open up..." Ms James scolded, she didn't want to have to pry her secrets out of her so forcefully… but it wasn't good for anyone to keep that kind of unspoken pain all bottled up. Her eyes trailed over the petite little cat like girl in front of her, hair the colour of spring sunshine, a slim, almost curve less body with wide elusive blue eyes. She gave a little sigh of despair as she was met with the usual blank stare of resistance. She could almost hear her brain whirring with all the defiance just waiting to throw up it's sarcastic defensiveness. The bell sounded and the session was officially over, glancing at the clock on the wall, Veronica didn't say a word, she just returned her gaze back to hers and Becky cave a small deferential nod of approval for her to return to class.

"Just.. think about what I said Veronica… this could be an opportunity if you allowed it" Ms James told her softly as she stood and put her brown bag over her shoulder. Veronica knew that she had been churlish, the woman was just doing her job, but somethings… somethings belonged only to her. They fuelled the tempest that raged inside her, gave her power to keep going, drove her to get the answers she needed. She didn't care if it made people think she was Little Miss Wound-too-tight.

She was obviously the wrong person to try and get through to the Mars girl… she just hoped that Logan Echolls could use some of that casual insolence of his that set teeth on edge to break through whatever walls she used to keep herself isolated.

 _It didn't do anyone any good trying to go through life alone…_

Logan's deep throaty laugh was the first thing she heard as she rounded the corridor and bumped into Madison Sinclair who rolled her eyes in disgust and stormed off down the hallway.

 _Roll those eyes back further in your head bitch… you just might find a brain back there…_ Veronica mused to herself.

"Veronica! Hey!" Meg smiled as she greeted her. It was lunch break and they were waiting for Wallace to come back from the boys locker rooms.

"Did you just get Shrunk or have you always been that small?" Dick joked, his hair was tousled from gym class. Ignoring him, Veronica slipped an arm around Logan's waist and pulled him closer.

"Thank you for letting us survive that trip from hell. Thank you for ignoring my prayers for a quick death when I didn't think that I'd be able to survive another day of Mr Daniels English class," he said in a mock prayer as he put his arm around her shoulder. She gave him a reassuring smile but there was something beneath her veneer that told him she didn't have her unexpected toughness in place. She wouldn't want to talk about it, but he didn't want to leave her in her own troubled thoughts.

 _He would put an end to this estrangement once and for all…_

"So what are we thinking? Sushi?" Dick suggested.

"Sushi? What the hell is wrong with you?" Wallace said in disgust, his dark hair was sitting in wild untamed curls around his face.

"What?" Dick retorted defensively.

"Hey Babe.." Wallace said, gripping Meg's hips and giving her an affection peck on the lips. "I just don't know how you can eat all that... rawness" he replied finally.

"Says the Man Child who ate two boxes of spirit cookies before lunch?" Meg laughed.

"Hey… what you say we get out of here?" Logan suggested softly, pulling out his car keys. "We could swing by your place… get Backup out for a run on the beach?" his brown eyes meandered over the petite blond in his arms. For such a fragile little thing, she had a bite like a cobra but she yielded gratefully and rewarded him with a weak smile and nodded her assent.

"He could do with the air" she agreed.


	53. Chapter 53

"I swear that woman has seen Memento, way too many times" Veronica drawled as she opened up to her boyfriend Logan Echolls with the eager pit-bull at her side as they walked along the sandy beach of Neptune overlooking Nereids Point, a popular spot with the surfers and tourists who took advantage of the beach and central location. They had didn't have time to take Backup to Dog's beach during their lunch hour, and use of an absence excuse slips that Wallace had swiped for her would only result in a concerned phone call to her father since she was still being watched carefully by the faculty after her recent medical issues, so they had settled for here instead.

"How do you know she isn't expecting you to go full on Jason Bourne?" Logan quipped as he looked at the petite blond walking beside him, his thoughts were preoccupied with how he had wished he had been a fly on the wall during her earlier therapy session with Ms James, the schools guidance counsellor. He knew that Veronica would never admit it, but she was having trouble coping. She had been more than a little absentminded. PTSD and losing her memory and the trauma that came along with her faulty memory and regaining it again in such a short period of time were starting to take their toll, and he was worried about her.

 _They were going to talk about this investigation whether she wanted to or not…_

He had noted the presence of several local news station videos in a box on her computer desk in her bedroom while they had been collecting her dog.

 _Abel Koontz Footage… the journal had mentioned that she had been attempting to double back on her investigation by retracing her steps._

Keith Mars had been at his office, thankfully, finding him in her bedroom again after last time would not have ended favourably. It had been innocent, she had fallen asleep in his arms the night that they had discovered Daisy had been killed, but there had yet to be a reckoning for the knowledge between them all that it had been their sexual encounter on Homecoming that had triggered the recovery of her memories.

"Because she hasn't reported me to Homeland Security?" she offered as she shrugged, doing her best to catch up with him, it seemed for every one step he was taking; she had to take three to keep pace. "If I find a copy of Before I Go To Sleep on her shelf I am transferring to Pam High" Veronica declared as she threw the ball for Backup and they watched as the determined pooch tore off down the beach to retrieve it.

"You could loan her your Journal?" he suggested, but they both knew that would never happen because it was full of the records of her investigation.

 _Lilly Kane hadn't exactly taken all her secrets to the grave… once you knew something like that... it couldn't be unknown._

Again he pondered how much of our decisions were truly based on our memories? Solving this mystery had formed the cornerstone of her rapidly dissolving present. She had been without hers, and she had still repeated every single one.

 _If this hadn't happened, would he still made his choices to be controlling, cajoling, bullying and doing everything to get his power over her to make her see him because only in those artic blue eyes that blazed with hatred and fire had he felt real?_

"Ah… the Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac?" she mused. "An exciting tale of ritualistic murders, hunting serial killers and fighting the paranormal" she continued in a mocking voice as she grinned at him, but the truth was anything but funny. Someone had bludgeoned Lilly Kane to death, her body hadn't been found in a shallow grave, it was left in her backyard… and Veronica had been there the night her father had been called to the gruesome crime scene. That she was still suffering the nightmares.

 _We can't ignore that Duncan might have done this… that the Kane's could have covered up the crimes of their only surviving Heir… that it was all connected to Daisy's case… that whoever had done this was clever… perhaps too clever…_

"She still trying to figure out what high school is like when you get to be a tabula rasa?" Logan asked carefully as he stood beside her, watching as the dog jumped through half an old sand sculpture to claim his prize.

 _Tabula Rasa… a blank slate._

"Yeah, except now it's more like déjà vu" Veronica nodded bitterly, her newfound 'opportunities' made her feel like her memory had been toyed with… manipulated. "She talks about it like I had one of those in-a-coma, out-of-body-experiences" she sighed, exasperated. Her earlier session with the guidance counsellor had left her feeling a little frustrated. "I wasn't void of anything… Not that I didn't have to write notes to myself to help me remember mundane things- like washing my hair to jotting down snippets of memories I was learning about myself along the way. I can almost hear the grant proposal draft whirring around in her head on how the _tragedy_ of my experience means they can study the implications and repercussions of my amnesia can give a fascinating insight on the high school experience… Personally I think she's hoping for a mind-bending, Bond-esque finale." she added sarcastically, the corner of her mouth quirking up as she crouched down, scratching behind the excited dogs ear as she wrestled the ball from him as she looked out along the shoreline, enjoying its tranquillity. "I reckon she secretly wants proof I'm part of an elite force of genetically-altered teens that possess flawless combat skills and powers strong enough to destroy a city" she smiled up at him.

It was well known that Ms James had studied her BA degree in Psychology, and an MA in Neuropsychology but had been unable to secure a fellowship at any of the nearby colleges or universities so she had taken up a local position as Guidance Counsellor in Neptune High School while she cared for her ailing parents, using her experience of working with her students to conduct research. She had already begun measuring the impact of grief on the collective student population; Lilly Kane's murder last year had created an unexpected opportunity.

 _Sooner or later, everyone sits down to a banquet of consequences..._

Logan gave the tough pixie girl in front of him a pained expression but he didn't say anything, in many ways, losing her memories had caused her to become trapped inside a labyrinth of them. That entire past trauma was now her reality; and she was trying desperately to piece together her shattered life. Tipping points were only recognizable in retrospect but without hindsight… how would he know if this was the beginning or the end?

No one was expecting the memories that eventually came rushing back to Veronica, least of all herself, she couldn't help but observe Logan as he silently watched her, while the alternate points of view warred in her head… all the fragments of befores and afters scattering her emotions into a complicated web.

 _She would have to rethink her investigative techniques if they were going to do this together… if they were going to continue on this path at all now it was veering into ever more terrifying terrain._

Part of her didn't like the person she was before her memory was wiped. She had been grateful for the reunion with Logan, the way that being with him with no prior memories of their history had reconciled them, being with him had felt as easy as breathing, and their intense relationship had flourished. But the other part of her was troubled by how easily she had fallen into the Stepford-student-syndrome of Neptune High, completely unaware of being laughed at, accused, and bullied on a daily basis. Of how easily she had forgotten that someone had violated her in the worst possible way. Things she could recall now, in frank and sardonic detail.

 _Oh tangled web of sex and drugs at this high school…_

What could she expect though, when she had been navigating the world with patchy memories, the vagueness in people's eyes, waking up knowing only life's little basics? Being around the 09ers again was unsettling and upsetting, and she didn't want to pick at those memories… didn't want to recall what was really going on in her dreams.

 _Somethings are just best forgotten… like Mom leaving… not knowing where she is…_

Even now she hadn't been able to shake the memory of alienation that when she first came home with her dad, she had felt like she was invading another girl's life, sleeping in a strangers room, going through her belongings, even though it had always been her own space.

 _Nothing had been familiar. Nothing but Him… this love for him felt like a compass… pointing her way home._

Questions about her former self, survivor's guilt and a host of other mixed up emotions streamed through her consciousness upsetting any attempt to find a balance between her two warring personalities.

The journal and it's the backstory was told in jagged bits and pieces, creating a jigsaw puzzle story that had been interesting reading, she had passive, docile, hardly curious at first. But it didn't take long for her to get a glimpse of the girl she used to be before.

 _Even with no memories… she had still made all the exact same moves… investigating Lilly's murder… still would have made the same mistakes that had gotten Daisy killed._

Even now she still had a disconcerting loss of self, she also had a second chance to realign her present and, possibly, her future. The only consistent sort of emotional connection had been the magnetic pull she still felt towards Logan. The sense that he was the epicentre of her world.

At least after her last visit with Dr Sorrell and her final evaluation with Dr Holtz she was free from having to worry about another memory vanishing incident like the one that left her with retrograde amnesia. She had been transferred to a regional outpatient physician, Dr Lauren Elliot, at a remote clinic near her home so she was free of the maze of the Neptune Sacred Heart hospital's corridors, hallways, and stairways which were now as familiar to her as the back of her hand. No more gurneys and people in white coats… no more people trying to infiltrate her private thoughts.

She still didn't know the overall Greater Purpose of Life Lesson of what to think about her recent memory issues… maybe it was all symbolism, maybe it was time-travelling, rebirth, dream-prose or maybe it was all just an allegory for an existential crisis. Each approach seemed valid and each made her feel like she should still be expecting something else from the Twilight Zone.

 _"What would you do if you could reinvent yourself?"_ Daisy had asked her one afternoon when they had been using the photocopier to digitize the case files for backing up. Veronica had used that as motivation before her memories were recovered to reinvents herself as someone more carefree and fabulous. But despite her exciting new life, there were some things from her past that she just can't wipe clean. She'd still been trying to solve Lilly's murder.

"Our lives are always ours to remake." Veronica repeated what Ms James had told her sagely during their session, the teacher had a bizarre fixation on the power of positive thinking. Her blue eyes searched Logan's face as she stood back up and launched the ball towards the incoming tide. She knew he was going to want to talk about Weevil and the PCHers… about those tapes she knew he had spotted in her room.

 _Would these secrets she was hunting threaten their love or solidify it?_

She wanted to skip it, she wanted pull him closer for more of those mind-blowing, knee-bending kisses that made everything but the sensation of his lips on hers fall away. Logan could almost read her thoughts as those wide pansy-blue eyes looked up at him.

"Is that what you want?" Logan asked as Backup nudged the ball into his hand. The clever hound had quickly figured out that he could throw the ball farther than his pint-sized owner. Veronica held his gaze and he knew that she couldn't let it go… as much as he wanted her to. As much as it threatened to explode something primitive inside him that just wanted to carry her off to keep her safe.

He prayed that they could find some kind of coexistence between her need to get justice for Lilly… and his need to protect the woman he loved and needed more than his next breath.

 _This tiny woman could bring him to his knees…and he hadn't even confessed to his true whereabouts the day of Lilly's murder… how could he risk telling her now and alienating her when he needed to protect her and the case was so much more dangerous than either of them had ever believed possible?_

Veronica knew that as much as he agreed with her that something was horribly wrong inside the Neptune Police Department, that her father had been removed from office unfairly after the mounting pressure from the wealthy 09er elite and City Council to solve the case before it affected the tourist trade to produce results had used him as a scapegoat, as much as he wanted vengeance for Lilly… that after the recent slaying of her friend… that he that he felt they were out of their depth.

"Every friendly face… is a mask… and every kind word… is a lie. Amnesia wasn't the scariest part of the last few months Logan… It's this. Right now… I could be looking her killer in the face… and I wouldn't even know it" Veronica told him.

How could she have been so reckless before? She had tried to solve this when she had no recollection of her past. If you can't see your past… how could you have no idea that the danger was coming, that it could be standing next to you, lying to you, sitting at your lunch table… sitting in your classes… touching you… until it's too late?

 _What if she had confided in Duncan before he'd taken that journal and learned the truth?_

"We have no idea who we are dealing with…" Logan reasoned, he was practically white-knuckling at the thought of the hidden threats. She was dancing with the devil and she had no intention of stopping… Could two people be any less suited for conversation? He could already see the determination in her face.

"I know… it's down the rabbit hole" she nodded, his diminutive vigilante.

"You should bow out… consider yourself side-lined… this is dangerous Veronica" he told her firmly.

"Have you forgotten what happened to Lilly?" she demanded, her azure eyes narrowed and Backup jumped up against her hip, forcing the ball into her stomach, tail wagging.

"Of course not… how could I?" he responded angrily. "I love you… you do remember the last person who helped you with this was buried yesterday?" he asked rhetorically and he watched as her mouth closed into a tight line as she took the slobber covered yellow tennis ball from Backup and tossed it away. Those blue eyes had the shockingly vivid clarity of a glacial lake he had seen once when he was skiing with his parents when he had been 14.

"You don't have to remind me" she scowled, although it was impossible not to stare at him, her stomach shimmied like jelly under the fierce expression in those dark eyes. She hated him for that lethal combination of looks and hormones that wore down her steely resolve.

"Well maybe I do!" he insisted. "We just got outmanoeuvred… this game is so big we don't know who's got us in their crosshairs… we need to slow down… Weevil and those guys… they are going to go rushing off into hazardous territory regardless of the consequences and I can't lose you too" he snapped and allowed the ramifications of that statement sank in. "You aren't doing this without me Veronica…"

She had an assessing look on her face, like she was trying to figure out what the hell they were supposed to do now, her caramel-blond hair blowing around her shoulders as the ocean breeze blew between them. She was about a docile as an atomic bomb… she wouldn't tolerate being caged.

"Arguing with you is always inevitable" she declared, aghast.

"Loving you is irreversible…" he countered.

"You sound kind of desperate" she replied wryly as she mentally strangled herself until her mental self lost all consciousness.

 _She didn't want to battle with him…_

"I'd rather fight with you than live another day without you" he told her finally, and the look in his eyes stole all her words away. Her softness against his hardness as she curled into his broad chest as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, her surrender was a delicious victory. Necessity had made her self-reliant before, and she took a mental inventory of the next possible moves she stayed there listening to his heartbeat as their breathing synchronised. The heated discussion wasn't over and the truth was like blood under their fingernails.

She couldn't walk away from this… but she wouldn't be doing this alone from now on.

 _Together meant together…_

"We will fix this, do you understand me?" he whispered in her ear and her bones melted like honey as he stroked the tumbling tresses of her blond hair that fell around her pale shoulders.

She was the one thing in his life that felt like was truly his.

"I'm staying…" he told her and they were both almost knocked off balance as the attention seeking hound returned and barked, the ball laying at their feet. Blissfully unaware of the drama unfolding around him.

 _Was it stupid to envy a dog?_

"I warned you about that ball…" Veronica groaned, hiding her face against his chest. "You have created a monster…"

"Yeah.. I thought you were exaggerating when you told me" Logan admitted, those gorgeous chocolate brown eyes were looking down at her apologetically.

"Nope… he's a total jerk when you get him started" she replied in her usual playful tone.

"You still helping out with the Student Council after school?" he asked as he nuzzled her neck. May and Natalie had asked for her help with some photographs for the school website for the upcoming events and campaigns, and some posters for the upcoming basketball and football games.

"Go Pirates!" she mused.

"I'll meet you after school and we can go to the Dirty Nickel together to meet Weevil and Becca" Logan told her. She looked like she was going to protest. "You are a pint-sized lunatic if you think I am going to let you go by yourself" he warned. He would have stayed at the school with her until they had to leave but his father had an event to some charity dinner that Logan and Trina were being forced to attend but he should be able to sneak away after the pictures.

Clearly she was treading on hot cinders around the lip of a volcano… he wouldn't take no for an answer.

They hadn't discussed the elephant in the room.

 _Weevils history with Lilly._

Those dark intuitive eyes must have sensed her concern.

"I don't exactly love this… but I am capable of some semblance of civility… I don't like it… but we can't afford the complication if I lose my head" Logan told her. "My only focus is you"

 _How could she be worried about him being jealous when the more immediate threat was her ex-boyfriend Duncan Kane and his family?_

He would have to grow a thick skin quickly; the only weakness in his armour was an obsession with his five-foot-two nothing blonde who's every touch felt like both medicine and murder.

She was already trying to find her reasons to persuade him to give her the space to manoeuvre and get the information they needed. He could see it on her face, his die hard little hustler.

"Okay" she agreed.

"My mom also wants to invite you over for dinner sometime…" Logan added, no doubt his father would insist on showing off his cooking again. Her cheeks reddened and she looked a little more pliable… dinner with the parents… dinner with his family… as his girlfriend. Recent tragedies had allowed them to avoid these predicaments so far.

Something they hadn't discussed yet, the butterflies in her belly turned to chainsaws with nerves. He could see her considering the suggestion. Her mind was a scorching hot mess.

"Meeting the parents… can't we just stick to the unsolved sinister murders and clandestine conspiracies?" she squeaked.

"Of all things… this is what you find daunting?" he grinned before he picked the ball up from the sand beside them and walked her back towards his car, throwing the ball a little further ahead of them and watching Backup run after it seeking his glory.


	54. Chapter 54

"Look out ladies!" Dick Casablancas announced as he followed Logan from the pools edge and back towards the diving board. "Hunks in Trunks!" he grinned as he flexed his biceps and winked at them, even with all the noise of their classmates ovaries stood up and delivered a thundering ovation. He wandered past Hayleigh Wells in the shower washing her hair, making a hungry expression before adding "Thank the big man upstairs for creating such a perfect male specimen" as she turned and glared at him.

The smell of chlorine invaded his nose as the sound of splashing and high pitched shrieks as most of the privileged students ignored their teacher's demands for them to continue their length bounced around the hall as the two men went to the deep dive pool. Neptune High School was their Kingdom; they were arrogant and sure of themselves. It was a well-known fact that college scouts had been offering Dick Casablancas full ride scholarships based on his performance for the last two years as captain of the Neptune High Tritons. None of the faculty could have guessed that the blond surfer couldn't give a rat's ass about the schools swim team, part of the only reason he had joined up at all was participation in the sport meets meant that he didn't have to try so hard academically if he wanted to pass along with his classmates. He was certainly wealthy enough to never have to work a single day of his life if he didn't want to. His net worth almost rivalled Logan's. He was as laid back as they could come, happy to kick it in the role of beta male but had this undercurrent of strength that you can't help but respect. Dick didn't step up, because he simply chose not to.

 _Anything for an easy life…_

Logan was just grateful that Dick's girlfriend, Madison was not also in their class to witness hormone-whisperer walking beside him checking out the talent, whistling the Happy Days theme song. She was a prim and proper socialite who seemed content enough to ignore her boyfriend's obvious slutting around as long as he didn't make it to obvious and the conquest list never included any of her social circle, who'd have thought in junior high that the preppy bottle blond cheerleader would turn out to be a pampered, selfish and materialistic chit? She seemed like the perfectly polished Princess but she had more going on under the surface.

 _She was a conniving bitch… and definitely not good enough for his friend…_ _an uppity, privileged, spoiled rich girl…nothing like his little sassy spit-fire._

Logan had to admit, Dicks antics cracked him up; yes, he was crass and cocky, but he also had this really devoted and caring side to him that he never allowed anyone to see. So he played the part, always the dutifully rude and obnoxious member of their group at outings. His conversation with Veronica at lunch filtered back into his thoughts. She was used to living her life on her terms and had never really had anyone take care of her… no one except her father, but even then she kept secrets.

 _I want her to let me all the way in… She was the one recovering from retrograde amnesia but I forget who I am, what I want, with just one look from her… she's my fucking heaven and hell all wrapped into one…_

"Madison told you not to play with your food" Logan drawled in their usual good-natured bickering as he stared over his shoulder at his best friend who was entranced by the hot female talent in their little swimsuits, although most of the 09er girls in his class had defied school rules and were sporting skimpy bikinis that left little to the imagination. If you asked Logan… most of them were already plotting landing themselves a supposedly a spoiled rich trust fund husband… even if he was a man-whore.

"I wouldn't be looking to snack at all if she didn't have me on such a strict diet" Dick groaned lustfully as he looked at the Neptune High's female swim team practising in the other pool. "I don't know how you do it…" he added trying to up the ante and challenge Logan to spill more details on the latest with his and Veronicas 'flirtatious duel' as he referred to it often, now that her memories had returned. "Ah. I've got your attention. So she didn't let you eat her for Lunch?" he said in mock sympathy referring to Veronica, it wasn't so long ago that the two of literally couldn't stand each other, but neither of them could deny that there was a whole lot of lusting going on.

What was the biggest turn-on for these two according to his fair-haired friend? Fighting! They fight hard and no better way to release the tension than with their bodies.

In life according to Dick… Veronica was using this latest development of her returned memories to assert her authority and enforce a sex drought against his wingman. "Look if you really need me to… I could use my God given ability to fuck the ever-loving snark right out of her… She's too high maintenance and uptight but my body disagrees" Dick said making a screwing her from behind and spanking her ass gesture.

"Dude seriously?" Logan growled possessively… even the thought of her drool-inducing smoking hot sexy body being anywhere near another man made him want to go on a killing spree.

 _He wasn't wrong… they did have off the charts sexual chemistry… it had taken everything in him not to carry her off to her bed and spend the rest of the night buried between her sweet thighs where he knew she'd be safe…_

"If you pretend even for a second that this lack of sex bullshit isn't bothering you, there's going to be trouble in Neptune City. You would think a girl who's all _Sexy Sleuth_ like that when one banter goes a bit too far, sparks fly and someone would end up in handcuffs for some canoodling" Dick countered and Logan sighed, trying to shove away the latest little fantasy that he'd had the night before where he was using his impressive bedroom skills to 'Protect & Serve' a certain blond camera wielding badass all night long.

 _Sexual frustration turned him into a grouchy bastard…_

"She's like the Hermione to your Malfoy and if you don't man up soon she's going to be using your balls in some voodoo potion… the kind of potion that it takes to get back with Duncan" he continued. Inhaling a deep breath, he counted to 10 as the other man stared at him in amusement. No eye rolls, no head shaking just sincere enjoyment. It was well known that the two former besties hadn't spoken since he had gone to Homecoming with Veronica.

 _Dick was his best friend…_ _who knows my darkest secret… he's my alibi for the day Lilly had been murdered… He's my brother… he's just being an asshole because I haven't been myself lately…_

But still, even the hint that the elusive Duncan Kane might be the reason why his girlfriend had been distancing herself from him in almost two weeks irked him. Most of the angst and drama was external to their relationship but it still didn't mean they'd gotten any closer to ripping each other's clothes off again.

"Man.. what is your problem today?" Logan snapped.

 _Fuck… of course he wanted to be with her again… it had been driving him crazy… he wanted to feel her body beneath his... wanted to hear that throaty noise she made the first time he sucked on her neck while she clenched around him…_

"Finally! There it is… Jeez dude, you have been stuck in your own head all fricking day… I'm just saying all your bickering, insults, arguing, bitching and sniping makes for a sexy sizzling session of epic proportions in the bedroom… it started out with angry hot chemistry and then gradually started to really see what was there beyond the attraction… you two have spent so long rubbing each other up the wrong way… it's time to stop talking about all your _feelings_ … and rub each other up the _right_ way. I'm talking burn your panties to ash sex and not all of that angst." Dick explained even though from the stance of Logan's arms folded across his broad chest, the discussion was obviously unwelcome. Dick had a gift for crawling inside his head and forcing him to see uninvited truths… he was stalling in his physical relationship with Veronica out of fear.

 _Maybe it was the memory of her frightened expression the following morning after they had spent the night together? He was allowing fear and insecurity to rule him, and she was pulling away because of it…_

"You are an enormous dick." Cassidy scolded as they joined him beside the diving board, his cheeks reddening as he began to climb the ladder. Typical of his brother to be discussing sex so loudly while his crush Laurel Sampson was in this class watching him as he was about to take his dive.

"Correction. I have an enormous—" his brother corrected before he gripped his shorts and almost pulled them off completely.

"You're such a jerk…" Cassidy shrieked as he gripped onto the waistband, fighting to stay up on the ladder and looking around for the teaching assistants who were typically nowhere to be found.

"Wow Beaves… if I was into Dudes that little tushie was freaking HAWT!" He grinned and finally released his little brother who had decided to abandon his ascent and took off towards the locker rooms. "I was not ready to comprehend your otherworldly beauty, kindness and hotness… I'll never forget you, ass. Don't forget to call me…. Friend me of Facebook!" he mocked, earning being flipped off as Beaver grabbed his towel. "I'm just having a little fun and he runs away like I just asked him to murder a cat so we could sacrifice it to Satan." Dick said shaking his head at Logan as they watched him retreat into the locker rooms.

"You're really going to make me say this Oprah bullshit out loud, aren't you?" he sighed.

"Bro.. I'm going to try not to fangirl all over myself… She is yours to torment and you make it known… but your story is Up There with a Lifetime Movie script… the relatable characters, sharp dialogue, and abundant dirty talk more than makes up for it. I'll admit… there were a couple of moments of plot convenience in this one, that felt a bit contrived… but now the curtains have closed, the credits have rolled and it's time to get back to some of that X-rated shit that works so well" Dick told him as he turned and began his own assent up the ladders to the dive board.

Logan watched as he showed off by doing a backflip and some fancy dive move right into the water, yeah, Dick Casablanca's was a total jock- a jock who needs tutoring help according to the school's administrator. A skilled liar. A bully and a saviour, a monster and a random sexual hook-up. Dick Casablanca's was a lot of things to a lot of people. He was the cocky sidekick, the approachable one.

Logan on the other hand… was cold-hearted, arrogant, mean, rude, with a 'fuck off' vibe and a zero tolerance for anything and anybody. Not one redeeming quality, except for being hot, but that was easy when your parents were members of Hollywood's Glitterati Elite.

His only weakness was his Obsession with Veronica Mars.

Logan was just glad he could call Dick his friend, even if he knew it was too dangerous to open up to him about the Investigation into Lilly's murder and Duncan's possible involvement.

"Surfing later?" Dick asked as he finally emerged back out of the pool, interrupting Logan's troubled thoughts about the upcoming meeting with the PCHers.

"Can't… I got that shindig of my dad's" Logan sighed.

 _Quality time with Dear old Dad..._

 _"Sucks to be you… here's a little a_ ction…" Dick smirked as he spanked Logan's ass before he headed off to the showers himself.


	55. Chapter 55

"You, Me, Whipped Cream and Handcuffs. Any questions?" Deputy Sachs interrogated dreamily to the pastry in his hand as he stood in the almost empty Balboa County Sheriff's Department during lunch hour. It was quiet, and often the rest of his team were out doing patrols around the High School and usual tourist hot spot locations where pickpockets liked to operate along the boardwalk. All part of the city councils new 'Safer at any time of the day' initiative after the brutal slaying of a local college student a week ago. It also meant that he had been left alone to man the phones because it was Deputy D'Amato's day off.

"Interrupting something?" Keith smiled in greeting as he held the most recent bail jumper by the cuffs. Habitual pothead. A con, a liar, a thief and a fraud. Garrett Dixon was the last member of the gang who had been robbing the Neptune Grand Hotel and the Serenity Inn.

"Oh… hey Sheriff! I—I mean Keith… Mr Mars" Sachs smiled nervously as he returned the donut to the small plate beside his computer and went to the reception desk.

 _Deputy Sachs wasn't a tough cop… but he was a good cop…_

With a history rooted in scandal, Keith Mars wasn't exactly thrilled to be back in the town of Neptune's Sheriff Department. He remembered all too well what it was like to be tabloid fodder but it was also the only way to get the cases signed off officially so he could get paid.

"Hey Deputy" Keith smiled as he handed over the appropriate paperwork and Sachs called through to Deputy Lionel Cooper to come and collect the latest prisoner for processing, and a few minutes later two of the Deputy's came in from being out the back.

"Keith… how are you?" Deputy Cooper greeted as he sported a wide grin on his face.

"Commiserating… I saw in the paper this morning that approval came through for the demolition of Shark Stadium from the City Planning Commission. Damn shame" he sighed, shaking his head as Cooper took hold of the paperwork from Sachs and Deputy Duke White grabbed the suspect by the arm and handed over a new set of cuffs to Keith from his belt, he was a chubby little fellow with ginger hair and always smelled like some kind of processed sweet snack food.

 _Officer Twinkie is what the PCH Motorcycle Club junior members called him…_

"Yeah… although it's not like there's been much worth cheering them on for ever since Fairchild traded out to the San Francisco Giants" Deputy Cooper countered before he took hold of Garrett's other arm and he was taken off towards the interrogation room and evidence processing.

"This is true!" Keith nodded.

"Uhh Keith… since you are here… that footage you requested came through today" Deputy Sachs said as he went to the export box and began to rifle through the contents.

"The CCTV footage from the Neptune Galaxy Resort?" Keith asked eagerly, he had been waiting for the release of the footage from Daisy's murder for almost a week now. His lunch yesterday with his friend Nadia Harper from the County's Medical Office had provided him with a copy of the coroner's report for her autopsy that was safely tucked away in his box labelled Playboys and not in the safe in the Mars Investigations Office for Veronica to go snooping through.

"And from the City Network Surveillance Systems" the deputy nodded.

"Thanks Reggie, this… this is appreciated" Keith said quietly. He knew that although he was a private investigator, access to the Neptune Network of Surveillance Systems was strictly controlled and it was probably something that Deputy Leo D'Amato had done without Sheriff Lamb's knowledge. Corruption was bad inside the police department, but there were still the few members of staff on the payroll who respected him enough to pull some strings and look the other way when needed. He really hoped there was something in these tapes that could help him because this recent case had him stumped.

The detective slid the package into his satchel and took the confirmation of apprehension slip from the deputy and tucked it into his jacket. He would have to hide these someplace where his daughter wouldn't see them, she was struggling to overcome her life's memories… the only reason he had allowed her back into the office in recent days was because he'd been unable to figure out the new filing system that had been implemented in recent months.

 _I want my daughter out of this life…_

"You forget your office isn't in here anymore Mars?" Sheriff Lamb asked as he returned, snacking on an apple as he wandered through the doors. Deputy Sachs looked immediately uncomfortable and started to put things back into the export box and shuffling through papers to look busy. "I know… Cops, Cakes and Coffee.. Real Police work… nothing like that playing detective you get up to lately" he chided, puffing his chest up in front of his macho buddies, Deputy Briar and Ryan as they snickered and headed towards the staff entrance towards the break room.

"No Donnie… just doing my civic duty… solving a few crimes… closing up a few cases… you should try it sometime… does wonders for the complexion" Keith smiled sarcastically. His relationship with his replacement had always been wrought with tension, before the emergency recall Election that lost his position as Sheriff. Keith had been trying to remove the crooked Deputy Lamb from his department due to his involvement in the drug cartel he suspected he had been feeding information to before arrests could be made. He'd always suspected that Lamb had been the one to release the crime scene footage of Lilly Kane's murder… but he'd never been given the chance to prove it.

"Yeah well it couldn't have been much better than your sleeping on the job…" Lamb retorted and threw the discarded apple into the trash can beside the door.

"As opposed to just sleeping with the Victims… and ignoring their murders" Keith seethed and he watched as the other man bristled. Tough, wary, Keith felt like the walking wounded, the loss of his intern was still too raw of emotional baggage, he had thought with this latest arrest he would finally get some answers… but there had been no connection to the Galaxy Resort Hotel and the thieves he had been investigating with Daisy were part of a high stakes gambling syndicate that was pulling the strings.

 _He still didn't know why she'd been in that part of town… whatever it was… he knew she was on the trail of something that involved deceit, secrets and risk-taking._

"Daisy Blossom was the victim of an unfortunate mugging gone wrong… Should have gone to see the Wizard Mars… asked for a new Magic 8 ball… then you wouldn't be stuck doing the job of disproving all these Charlatans and Psychic Mediums" the Sheriff snarled.

"She's the victim of an incompetent Sheriff" Keith countered, trying his best to keep his professional cool.

"Incompetent FORMER Sheriff... Careful Mars… someone might mistake you as a former lawman carrying a badge...and a grudge" the younger man warned. "It's not like she was some helpless weak defenceless simpering maiden in need of rescuing… she was a grown girl with a thing for cartoon pyjamas… and what did anyone really expect? She had a hard upbringing and wanted better for herself rather than end up trapped in the horrors she witnessed growing up. It's a vicious cycle. A young woman.. a good girl who falls for a no good biker who becomes her knight in leather. Danger, violence, drugs, abuse… running with all the wrong kinds of people… even in High School… it becomes an unsafe environment" he taunted and it was then Keith knew that it was useless expecting any help from the Balboa County Sheriff.

It was no secret that Daisy had past traumas that had still haunted her, her upbringing hadn't been easy. She'd been raised by her mother's best friend Lucinda Grimes after her death when she'd been 14 years old and she had never known her father. Professionally and privately and had absorbed herself in being the balance in a shady town like Neptune, to say Keith was usually closed off was an understatement. Watching your Wife disappear into a bottle before vanishing, abandoning him along with their teenage daughter, having his friends and colleagues turn from him and losing everything had that effect. Daisy had a way of piercing his armour… of getting through to Veronica in a way that he hadn't been able to manage since the death of Lilly Kane. She'd crept into his chest, and now this town was trying to bury the truth of what had happened to her all because it would affect the bottom line?

Although they loathed the thought of working together, these circumstances should be compelling them to join forces but instead Sheriff Lamb was more than happy to bow to the Mayor's pressure to just rule it out as an unfortunate mugging gone wrong and pin the blame onto someone like Winston Livingstone, the chief suspect in a yacht robbery that occurred shortly after the time of her death, even though both men knew in their gut that he was innocent. The Lines blurred in Neptune, it was a complicated little web of pretty little lies and ugly truths that the brutal slaying of a local college student… only mattered to the privileged elite when it affected the admission numbers and the local tourist trade.

It hadn't mattered that Daisy and Donald Lamb had been having a romantic liaison for the last few months. Danger, greed, lies and corruption within the power structure of Neptune it always amazed the Elder Mars that such a strong, muscly, powerful man who looked every bit like some kind of Disney Prince was too much of a coward to do anything about it… they were conflicting forces grappling for that knockout punch. Lamb swallowed hard under his former mentor's hard gaze… Keith Mars had been a decorated Officer before his little coup, but an investigation like that would for him to tread the thin line between what he felt for her, and his duties as an officer. She'd been hot as hell the night he and Deputy D'Amato were the officers to respond after she accidentally tripped the security system while closing up the Legal Aid Firm Offices where she was doing her work placement. It had been until a few nights later that he had met her again at a house party Deputy Myers had thrown using the kegs confiscated after that underage rager in the Gant residence.

 _There had been smoking hot chemistry and flirty sexual discovery but it didn't matter. Some battles just couldn't be won and he wasn't about to leave behind the safety net of his beloved city... Men like Keith Mars were fighting a losing battle... it was adapt or die..._

"Now if you don't mind Mars… I got to get back to keep the community safe" Don Lamb grumbled before the other man could respond and headed off to his office.

"Safe? Is that what you call it?" Keith called after him.

 _How did a fiercely intelligent girl like Daisy get involved with Neptune's Finest Example of a Douchebag like Donald Lamb?_


	56. Chapter 56

"Like OMG… Actually kill me… my ex Brad is here…" Alexandra Cantrell's voice whined as Veronica listened to the small mp3 player that held the recordings from the Homecoming Bug Pins. So far her digital recon had her convinced that if it were not for the buds in her ears, her brains would slowly be dribbling out of them. "I swear it's like he just follows me or something…." The recording continued.

 _Or it could just be you both attend the same school genius?_

"Ugh… I decided this year that I was going to like go Drama Cold-Turkey… but what can you expect in Neptune High?" Pam retorted over the muffled sound of a locker being opened.

"Yeah, I don't do teen drama" Alexandra agreed.

"Speaking of Drama… I cannot believe what went down at the Boardwalk yesterday!" a third female voice declared but she couldn't identify it right away.

"Oh Please… I've had to listen to Caitlin bitch about that all morning" a fourth girl scoffed, and Veronica quickly recognised it as Faith Schultz.

"What happened?" Alexandra pressed as Veronica strained to hear over the sounds of the other students in the hall who were positioning the props for her photoshoot for May and Natalie for the recruitment pamphlets for the drama department.

"Echolls and Ms Spaced Out were on a date _together_. Kimmy and Jax – that total hottie from six period German class? saw them making out on the beach" the third girl explained.

"No way!" Alexandra and Pam gasped in unison.

 _I'm trapped in chick-chat hell… send help!_

"Yeah… and word is that Ms Mindless turned down going to the Dance next Friday with Troy Vandergraf because the two of them are going as like a couple…" the girl continued.

"Gabriella is there some kind of point you want to be making?" Faith snarled.

"Only that that must mean Caitlin was right all along… the guy IS obsessed with her" Gabriella pouted. "I mean… I can't believe he waited until she lost her damn mind before dating her… wasn't he the one who told Murphy Richards that she had screwed half the midfielders on the lacrosse team?"

Veronica winced at the rumour. Murphy Richards was the son of one of her father's clients whom she had gotten close to when the business had opened up last year just after Lilly's death. They were in the same study hall and he often walked her to class. He'd been the first boy to really show an interest in her after the break up with Duncan and her move into the Sunset Crescent Apartment's with her dad… then seemingly for no reason at all he just started giving her the cold shoulder. She had always suspected that Logan and Dick had had something to do with it… that her disaster of a love life had been the result of their cruel reign of terror… but to have it confirmed so directly still hurt.

 _She had hated him with a vengeance after their argument in the library... She was convinced that his sole purpose in life was to break her down to nothing… and one more than one occasion… Logan had succeeded._

"Caitlin was screwing Chardo Navarro since before those two were even dating…" Pam replied dismissively. "Logan was just a meal ticket and that bullshit with Whore-ronica is a horrible brainwashing disaster… I mean she wanted to be all tough and badass now she just looks like an idiot most of the time"

 _Was she nothing more than a butterfly caught in his net? They made it sound like this was all some sick game of coercion and control._ S _omewhere in the clouded fog that was her brain, she knew that if this was a game she was going to lose..._

"Well I love my men possessive and bat shit crazy" Alexandra drooled wistfully.

"You're just saying that because you hooked up Echolls last New Years" Kimmy Dalton interrupted. "He's basically your vagina's kryptonite."

Veronica winced at the sound of his name… they were finding themselves on a collision course as they both seeked to bring down whomever had killed Lilly, but they seemed at odds with how exactly to go about it. Could she really do this? Forgive, forget all the unforgotten hurts and move on with Logan? After Shelley Pomeroys party last year she had chosen to box herself off from people in an effort to keep herself from future hurt. If she didn't befriend people, talk to them or acknowledge them in any way so they would leave her alone just like she wanted.

 _Wallace and Meg had been the only exceptions…_

"I don't know why Mr Clemmons even lets her stay enrolled here… she is incredibly spiky and practically snarls at anyone who gets close" Faith sighed and there was the sound of books ruffling and the locker closed again. "No wonder Duncan ditched her ass"

 _Well this was a train wreck, ten car accident and helicopter crash all rolled into one plan…_

"Well who would have dated him last year anyways?" Alexandra scoffed. "Let me string you along while I sort out my shit? Duncan was booty benched last year for a REASON"

"Yeah… it was Boy Bye!" Faith agreed.

"Aren't you going to Homecoming with him though?" Pam asked.

"Yeah… so?" Faith retorted, and they had. Faith and Duncan had been named this years Homecoming King and Queen, and they were currently dating.

Veronica was almost starting to miss the recordings from the boys soccer team the conversations were crude, and had her cringing multiple times as they had discussed the various positions they would like to screw her classmates in but it lacked the vitriol of the cheerleading squad. For a bunch of jerks who had bullied her relentlessly for the last year because of Lilly's murder, they hadn't had many nice things to say about the memorial fountain dedication either.

 _I'm a glutton for punishment until I've had enough…_

Veronica became lost in her thoughts as she remembered the last time she saw Lilly Kane during the car wash fundraiser. Tessa Corelli returned and tapped her on the shoulder, hinting that they were ready to begin taking the pictures now that the drama club were in their costumes and she took out her headphones, grateful for the break.

"Okay, what is more likely Sue that the lighting is going to be too much on my face… or that your monolith of a frame is going to eclipse the rest of us?" Tammy Forrester grumbled at her companion and pointed at her to move. "Like… what is more likely?"

"Sorry" Sue apologized as she moved into a position in the back of the group while Veronica bit her tongue. If she wouldn't make such a big deal out of it afterwards, Veronica would gladly make sure Tammy's head would be cropped out of every single frame.

"It's like actually though… if you can't handle me at my best… you don't like…" Tammy complained before she began to fluff and primps her hair for the camera that Veronica would have gladly thrown at her face in frustration. This afternoon had been dragging by. She would be meeting Logan here soon, and then they were going to meet up with Weevil and the other PCH Motorcycle Club—baddest of the bad boys. She wasn't worried about Weevil. Behind his womanizing façade, hid the pain of losing his first love, Lilly, the deceased daughter of a prominent family rocked by scandal.

 _How could she meet with Becca and promise to investigate Daisy's death when she hadn't even confessed to her father everything he needed to know to work the case?_

"Marcus… be careful with your Chino's near those props. I'm not sure they are all the way dry and we need those for the Falconry Dedication Ceremony" Tessa advised the taller boy in the corner.

 _After she met with Weevil and Felix tonight, she was going to have to tell her father everything…_

Revenge was a dish best served cold but she would serve it up white hot. Whoever had done this to her friends was not going to get away with it Veronica seethed, her grip on the camera was a little too tight when she realised she had been holding it too firmly and hadn't taken the picture yet.

"Say Clemmons!" she chirped sarcastically in a singsong voice before snapping the picture.

The shoot went on for a further twenty minutes, and Veronica watched as Tessa fussed around the sets and organized the drama club. She was naïve, young and filled with hopes in dreams… this elite privileged 09er worshipping town would chew her up and spit her out. Veronica finally handed over the approved pictures on the data card to Ms Dent as she entered the Navigator Newspaper office to see Duncan standing over the table with articles and several of the sophomore classmates.

"Thanks Veronica" the teacher smiled, and the sound of her name snapped his head up in her direction and she couldn't help but map all the similarities she was recalling that he shared with his sister. Their gazed meshed awkwardly for several heartbeats and she felt a trickle of apprehension. He turned back to the young freshmen Sandra who was waiting for his approval. He nodded and stepped away from the desk. She regarded him carefully; they hadn't really spoken much beyond that first day at lunch when she had come back to school the weekend after Homecoming.

 _Dear Diary,_

 _The Duncan Defence Shield is at full power Captain…_

 _If an angsty soup of push-pull, love-hate, first love and second chance love stories based on trust & forgiveness issues were your thing, then you'd love this shit... I should just stick to the art and cookie business… leave the murder and intrigue… and complicated romances to someone else… but sadly, no… as Weevil would say…. It's just Mi Vida Loca…_

 _The opposite of love isn't hate, It is indifference. Love and hate...they weren't that far from one to the other… its someone eating you alive… because it means someone got under your skin and consumed you._

 _You never had a chance…_

Duncan Kane. Lilly's Brother. Billionaire. Her first love... the man who completely ignored her existence.

What made him tick? Why was he the way he was? What happened to him in the past to shape the man he was today that he had completely cut her out of his life?

It was hard to think that at one time they had been the school's golden couple. Hi body was made for sin, and his icy blue eyes could still scorch her with feelings too intense for a heart as scarred as the one he had left her with.

She'd listened to recordings of conversations most of the 09er's who'd known Duncan, his friends, his classmates.. team mates… and no one else seemed to have a clue either.

Duncan Kane was an enigma and getting lost into the depths of those blue eyes was like free-falling a hundred stories… maybe that was part of her fascination with him? He'd been a puzzle she had been unable to crack… There are two sides to every story. His. Hers. And the truth.

 _She wanted his truth… and she couldn't ignore the most glaringly obvious one… she didn't love him anymore…_

"Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast? We walk through doors to be either in or out of a room.. we don't block them unless you are auditioning to become a door" Caitlin Ford snarled as she barged her way inside the Navigator Office with Kimmy Dalton following closely behind. She was a delectable prissy princess in her pantyhose and pencil skirts, her father was a was a millionaire… a hotelier … a somebody. Which made her part of the Neptune High Elite… unlike Veronica… and she used every opportunity to remind her of it. She was also Logan Echoll's former girlfriend.

"In this school we do not talk to each other that way… even if it is after the final bell" Ms Dent scolded her.

"Sorry…" Caitlin clipped before she handed over the student recruitment surveys from the various club members, a scowl on the cusp of breaking free.

"My dislike for her is instant. From the moment I lay eyes on her, she ignites something in me. She makes me feel things I thought I was incapable of feeling. I don't like it, not one bit… I don't even know why I fricking care… she's just his favourite toy… a little ragdoll he gets to throw around." Caitlin had complained to Pam during the recordings that Veronica had listened to this morning. She'd been talking about her. "I should hate him for the way he treats me, but surprisingly I don't. If anything, I feel sorry for him. I want to help him find peace… but his unhealthy obsession for Veronica Mars is what brings him to his knees.. He hates her with such a passion and at the same time craves her like a drug… he is a complete a bastard and she is falling for it… for the monster, bully, tormentor, whatever you want to call it… he tortured her… Not simple little things, but real psycho shit… He's down right mean… he kept telling me that he has a plan for her, a plan to destroy her… now he's playing the dutiful boyfriend... a sexy multimillionaire who loves her...too much."

Caitlin's little monologue made her freaked her out, pissed her off, made her laugh and made her want to cry with frustration. Was she right? Was she the lamb to Logan's lion?

Logan knew every inch of her, but she knew almost nothing about him… he was a crafty chameleon. He always had been. He had thought she betrayed him when she'd told Lilly about that kiss was he still out for revenge? Did he have a hidden agenda, and has secretly been stalking and keeping tabs on her?

 _If he is so impressively fucking twisted my-eyes-just-dropped-out-of-my-sockets from the emotional turbulence. My very own Mr. Tall, Dark and deliciously dangerous… and everything could go so so wrong…_

Veronica was trying to align the Logan she was hearing about in the cacophony of fragments of conversations she had been collecting as she picked up the photo paper for the copier to print out some of the pictures when she was assaulted with a zingy feeling shimmering across her skin and something cold seeping into her hair and down her back.

It was like a scene from Carrie but instead of animal blood it was a rainbow glittery sticky mess.

"Oh Fudgickles! Are you okay? I am so sorry Veronica!" May lamented from the ladders above her. Her big wide eyes were round in shock peering out from the redhead girls as she climbed down from the ladders. "Did the bucket hit you?" she asked, her pale hands grabbing Veronica's face and shaking her head from side to side to inspect her.

"Everything okay?" Ms Dent asked as she responded to the noise.

"Uh yeah… just an accident… but it's okay… the bucket hit the shelf and I just got covered" Veronica assured her.

"There was glue mixed in with the paint… that needs to come out like now…." Natalie advised as she joined them.

"I am so sorry Veronica.." May sobbed.

"I'm fine.. it's okay… I'll hit the showers…here it will be fine…" she promised, trying to soothe the other girl.

"I didn't do it on purpose… I promise… I wasn't expecting anyone and you startled me…." She continued.

"May… it's alright…" Veronica repeated and gave her a smile as she shook some of the glitter off her shoulder. Her dad was working late at the office but it should be fine, she still had a change of clothes in the trunk of her car from the last overnight assessment at the Hospital. Sighing she ignored the amused giggles of Pam and Caitlin as she peeked their heads out of the Navigator office. Most of the cars had already left, many of the clubs had finished up for the evening and cheerleading practise was over, so thankfully she wouldn't have an audience.

It had taken about 10 minutes and acceptance of May's own personal stash of shampoos that she promised would absolutely get the glue off of her blond hair before she finally convinced Meg and Natalie to take May home so she could get her shower without interruption.


	57. Chapter 57

Latoya Alonso, CPKW 97.4's radio host announced that it was Saints and Sinners hour as the track changed over the old radio in the girls locker room to play Julia Michaels -Heaven as Veronica let out a happy moan and sang along as the hot water began to steam from the shower communal in the girls changing room and she stood enjoying the pressure as the water sluiced over her body.

 _God it felt so good… so much better than the crap lukewarm one she had at home…_

She squeezed some of the shampoo that May had given her into her palm and her senses were bombarded by the scent of pineapples and coconuts as she lathered her hair into a soapy tangle.

 _This could take a while… the hot water felt like luxurious kisses over her skin... goodbye internal monologue… hello bliss…_

The shower felt like paradise as muscles she hadn't even realized she'd been tensing all day began to ease and those little grey cells finally stopped their little game of tug-o-war with the conflicting little snippets of information that she'd been gathering. She had always known after Lilly's death that she had fallen into his line of sight, he'd become completely enthralled with her.

 _Should she be signing up for a restraining order against Logan?_

Now she was battling with her instincts… mainly the ones that kept fighting with her to accept her father's threats to send her off to a Nunnery if it meant that she could escape her potential stalker because the thought that he had some kind of hidden agenda and wasn't really the man she'd fallen for… the man her body craved like an addiction… had her stomach in knots.

 _The man who she thought she loved could turn out to be sexy as hell but also borderline psychotic? Surely some truths needed left locked up? Some secrets belonged there.. because once she knew for sure if his sharp mind was plotting something… she'd have to find away to break free from him…_

Was she going to have to start checking under her bed and in her closet for him? The thought sounded ridiculous... but now she wasn't sure. Those recordings were making her doubt everything she thought she knew about him.

She buried her face under the jet stream of hot water and allowed the sensations of the water trickling over her body to calm her nerves. The world had gone topsy turvy and right now she just wanted to drown it all out.

 _It was a miracle she had any shred of sanity left…_

Logan Echolls ventured eagerly down the halls of Neptune High School, glad that he was free, and finally didn't have to face the cameras and play happy families with Trina pulling her usual 'perfect doting daughter' crap at his Dad's latest excuse for a media circus, one of Forbes magazine's most successful men in America and now budding philanthropist.

"Acting has always been an island of calm in a sea of chaos" his father, movie star Aaron Echolls had declared as he'd opened up his latest foundation to help returning war vets through the use of the Art Therapies. It would all be better when he could locate his target.

 _Where the hell was Veronica? She was supposed to wait for him here…_

Her car was still parked outside but he couldn't find her yet.

"Logan?" Ms Dent asked as she locked up the office to the Neptune High Journalism classroom.

"Hey…" he smiled awkwardly as she looked over his suit and tie. He obviously looked like he was more dressed for a school formal than for the school extracurricular activities she had been supervising this evening.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked giving him a puzzled expression.

"I'm just waiting for someone…" he explained.

"Anyone in particular? The Navigator finished up earlier than usual today" she enquired, her brown eyes looking towards the hall where the drama club had been earlier but it was also empty. The only one's left in the building were the two teachers' aids in the library and the janitor.

"Veronica Mars" he replied as he tucked his hands into his coat pockets.

"Ah… she's in the girls locker room… there was an incident earlier… but she shouldn't be too long" Ms Dent smiled.

"Incident? What kind of incident?" Logan asked in alarm.

"A PVA glue and sparkles incident… but she's fine…" she replied distracted as they turned at the sound of the door at the opposite end of the corridor opening.

"Charity, honey, you ready to go?" Ms Dent's boyfriend Terence called from down the hallway and the teacher gave him a conflicted glance as she looked towards the girl's locker room.

"It's fine… I'll wait here" Logan promised at her hesitation as he pointed at the small seating area opposite the trophy case. He flashed his teacher the Echolls Oscar Winning grin and gave her his best wide innocent eyes and took up his seat.

Among the faculty of Neptune High he was known as a light-hearted teenager. He was always cracking jokes in class, he was charming and easy-going, but he had some abandonment issues that were focused on his parents. The general consensus was Logan Echolls was a trustworthy kid who could do no wrong. If you asked most of the girls in those classes he was hilarious with his tongue in cheek quips, one liners and constant flirting made them laugh, giggle, and blush … all the way down to the damn right adorable way he got them to drop their panties when he was a shameless playboy.

"Darling, if we don't leave now we are going to hit traffic, and you know how your dad gets" the older man encouraged. "He said he's fine…"

"Okay…" she sighed finally. "Georgios is locking up the building in the next hour, I expect you both out before then"

"You can count on it" Logan nodded, smiling his best Yes-Mam smile. Seemingly satisfied with his mock Boy Scout impression, Ms Dent and her partner left. He waited until he heard the distinct sound of the car starting up outside before he ventured into the girls locker room. The steam was the first thing he noticed, followed by the sound of running water and a contented feminine moan.

"Veronica?" he called as he removed his tie, shoving it into his pocket and eyeing the small green gym bag sitting beside the discarded clothes that she had been wearing earlier. Worry curled around his stomach like butterflies, frowning he wandered closer to the sound of the running water and stopped short at the mouth-watering sight of the petite blonde with her eyes closed, head tilted upwards into the stream, her back to him as she stood drenched in the water, rivulets trailing down her slender stomach and over the soft curve of her ass, her hands slowly trailing along her skin in teasing massaging strokes against her naked flesh, oblivious to his presence. Her blond hair shimmered like a galaxy of twinkling stars and bubbles.

 _Holy Fucking God…_

Those butterflies turned into an entire storm, ripping straight through to his groin with all the subtly of a chainsaw.

 **Want.**

It was the only coherent thought in his head as he looked at the delicate goddess in front of him and he felt sickly jealous at every soapy bubble that was touching her skin where he wanted his fingers, his hands and his lips to be. Of all the labels he'd given himself over the years… a voyeur had not been one of them. He was so hard, he thought he'd break, so aroused he couldn't breathe, so captivated all he could do was hold still and watch.

"Logan.." she gulped in surprise and he groaned involuntarily as she turned, giving him full view of those perfect mounds with their hard nipples, her molten blue eyes locked their gaze with his, he swallowed against his throat that was suddenly, far too dry. She met his hungry brown eyes feeling equal parts vulnerable and brave. They took on a focus as they lingered over her body, a hard edged gleam. Almost predatory and her body responded with reckless disregard for what was right or decent, her skin flushed and her cheeks reddened, the desire in her eyes, a sultry invitation to stay... even if she hadn't been aware of it.

The temptation was too irresistible, and Logan found himself removing his jacket and reaching for his shirt buttons. Sexual boundaries hadn't been something they had discussed before. It was a beautiful slow strip tease, it was selfish… it was heavenly…

 _Hell… they hadn't talked about sex much at all since she'd been given the all clear… but right now he was starving for her and she was about to get fucked right up against the damned wall._

He heard her breath catch in her throat as each passing minute coiled up with heavy sexual tension as he slowly removed his shirt and left it on the floor just outside the entrance to the wet tiled floor, those Ceylon sapphire blue eyes roamed freely over his chiselled abs and broad shoulders, he was lithe and supple, his body honed with latent energy that oozed from every pore whispering promises of sex and pleasure, she felt a traitorous shiver of need run straight to her core at the memory of how he knew exactly to deliver on each and every one of those promises.

 _He looked like every filthy thought she'd ever had made flesh… bless me father for I have sinned…_

He hadn't even touched her yet but everywhere his gaze wandered over her body felt heat scorching like he had just licked and caressed her. She didn't know exactly what the hell she should be doing because his charisma and devil-may-care attitude were currently undressing the shit out of themselves right in front of her and her mind had decided that it yet again that this was the opportune time to take another vacation as she stood there speechless gaping at him with her mouth open drooling.

 _What the hell were they doing? They'd already been intimate together… not since the full recovery of her memories… but this felt new… she'd never really took the time to dissect his body like this… to drink him in like she'd been dying of thirst…_

Evidently her mistrust hadn't reached the primal parts of her brain because her eyes locked with his in mutual wonderment as he finally removed his pants and stepped naked sauntering into the shower with her like he owned it. Skimming his fingertips below her breastbone down to her belly button he held her gaze with a slow teasing smile.

 _Christ just looking at him naked was enough to make her need a cigarette…_

She also couldn't help but notice the intimidating erection currently resting at her stomach as his familiar comforting frame towered above her.

Was it lust or cardiac arrest? Her heart was pounding so hard it was almost drowning out the sounds of the radio as the track changed to Nerv – Bad Habits. How she had never succumbed to his charms before now was something she couldn't fathom as her body trembled in anticipation of his touch. Logan exuded that bad boy vibe, and embodied everything she'd never wanted but she was mesmerized by the way he moved with a fluid like grace, his actions were slow as he stepped forwards, their breaths moving in and out as they sized each other up like some kind of erotic adversaries.

 _He was so close she could smell the cologne on his skin…he smelled like trouble… and her heart ached for trouble…_

He intended to reintroduce her to the pleasures of a flesh-and-bone man. In all his numerous sexcapades during bachelor playboy status… he'd never once invaded the girls' locker room but he knew the moment he'd seen her behind those rolling clouds of steam…. when her lust-drunk gaze almost challenged him to make a move… that he wasn't going to be leaving anytime soon. This fire unfurling inside him was the strangest sensation, like an inferno rolling through him seeking her out to consume them both.

"Need a little help washing out all that fairy dust?" he quipped giving her an amused smirk as he played with a strand of her blond glitter covered hair.

He wasn't sure how she was going to react to his little self-assured invasion, he was focusing on her expression, looking for any signs he was pushing her too far as the water beat down on her toned shoulders.

None came.

Veronica was a force to be reckoned with, determined, stubborn and didn't know the meaning of backing down and he'd been watching her wrestle with her needs and desires for the last few days as she'd recalled more of their history together. He knew she was aware that he loved the chase, challenge and that he would eventually get the girl. He wore that smug knowing smile like a loaded gun.

 _He'd been patient…_

Fate had thrown her in his path 5 years ago that day he'd been hanging out at Duncan's house and since the first feel of her lips on his; he knew he'd be lying in bed every night just replaying the taste of her.

 _It's been too damn long… his adolescent fantasies about their night together had been driving him crazy without holding her…all he could think about was the memories of her spread out on his bed, of her underneath him as he made love to her…_

"Y—you're in the shower" Veronica stammered as she gazed up at him, her eyes wide and full of want.

"And soon I'm going to be inside you" he whispered, his voice was thick with arousal and need, all she could do was nod in agreement, unable to create words with her tangled tongue. It was then that Veronica realized she was just like that proverbial boiling frog… the danger of situation had crept up in little unnoticed increments until he had her bare ass pressed against the cold tiles and he was cupping her face claiming her mouth with his.

His tongue sought hers, tasting, touching and his touch spread through her body, melting her bones and her inhibitions like butter. Emotions flared between them as passion ignited an intense heat that made them spark off each other like flint against steel and she whimpered, needing to feel more of him.

"Call me a bad bad man… I just can't help myself" he murmured against her ear as he cupped her breast and buried his other hand in her hair.

"God… Logan…" she rasped as she dimly registered the feel of the water pouring over the two of them.

 _Logan Echolls was the sexual equivalent to running with scissors…_

"Do you know how much I thought about this?" He confessed as his hands gripped her slender waist and pulled her against his body, crushing her to him and the close physical proximity to him made her feel like she was being stripped of all her defences. She couldn't respond, on the sound of her soft breaths could be heard whispering in and out as he reached down and lifted her legs, her arms reaching up around his neck to hold herself up as he pressed her back against the wall. He studied her silken blond hair, her beautiful face with its elfin features and wide mouth, lips swollen from his kisses and the little freckles of glitter on her cheeks.

 _She looked like a fuckable pixie, and he was going to do just that._

Then suddenly he was everywhere, her legs encircling his waist as he pushed himself forwards, those strong arms locking her in place, burying himself deeply inside her as she stretched and gripped his long thick length earning a throaty moan in response. The exquisite side effects of friction as she felt that fullness, that sense of completion. His espresso-brown gaze never left hers as he slammed into her body, again and again hungrily, deeper and harder, more intensely with every thrust. She was all woman… all welcome as her petite body clung to his, taking him while her hands gripped at his shoulders and fisted his hair.

 _She was like a wild cat in his arms, untamed and unleashed…_

"Logan.." she cried out as he gripped her ass and kissed her neck, she felt exposed, her body was a creature of pleasure, lost to powerful thrusts as the water ran down his body in rivulets over his muscled torso and abdomen. He was relentless, delving into her as her body clenched in response, aching, needing, wanting until his body jerked and he grunted as he fought to keep control. Her body convulsed in a series of deep contractions as the tensions left her body in juddering jolts, his musculature long limbs kept her pinned against the wall as the less enlightened part of him claimed his mate in an explosive surge of possessiveness that threw her over the edge until she reached that point like the sun was exploding and something inside her was going to break apart.

 _Frantic need, fierce untameable need… she wanted… desperately wanted…_

Words locked in her throat and she didn't recognise the intense cries of pleasure as her own until he swallowed them with his mouth, a dance of tongue and teeth as the world erupted into a firestorm of heat and colour, until she was limp, boneless, clinched around him so tightly that the sensation of being impaled on his cock was her only anchor.

"You are so beautiful when you come…" the husky timbre of his voice did X-rated things to her body and she was lost to the sensations of him pounding into her, filling her while her legs gripped his waist like a boa constrictor.

 _He had unravelled her so easily…_

Hot colour suffused her cheeks as she looked at his shoulders where her nails had left harsh scratches… had she broken the skin? If she had, he didn't seem to notice as he continued to drive into the hot, sweet release of her tiny body.

Her pulse raced and she felt the sensations beginning to build again, he wanted to make her melt into his embrace, to feel their connection again as she came completely unhinged, no inhibitions, no restraint… His…

He drove into her like he needed it, like being inside of her was more important than anything, and she craved more of it as he let out an intense growl. His eyes locked on hers, one hand squeezing her ass and the other at her throat, holding her to meet his gaze and she was filled with a cell deep awareness that her soul recognized his… their demons… whatever they were… danced together. She tried to pull herself back, to remember her reservations from before… putting together a mental litany of all the past crimes he was guilty of… but none of it mattered when she gazed at his gorgeous masculine face, those sculpted cheekbones, straight nose and that sensual mouth that compelling her to devour him again and again.

"Logan…" she whispered. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

 _She would choose this truth over any pretty lie she might have convinced herself of before to give her an excuse to run back to her cold rigid control… The man has fucked her in every sense of the word… She'd never want anyone the way she wanted him…_

"Trust me. I know the feeling." He admitted as his body spasmed and he buried his head against the hollow of her collarbone to muffle the sound as her pussy tightened around him in that terrible wonderful ache that gripped him when she was close, pulling the release from his body as they both came simultaneously." But if you want words.. I love you, Veronica. I'm not sure I'll ever know how to stop loving you. You always had a piece of me. Always." He told her, those liquid intuitive brown eyes seared into hers as he withdrew from her and helped her stand on shaky legs.

 _Those words should have terrified her… they were only 17 for Gods sakes… but they didn't…_

She was a slim slip of a girl and he was looking down at her, eyes studying her with a fierce concentration, he was like a stalking tiger and as he picked up the bottle of shampoo sitting at their feet and coaxed her into the warm inviting water, she shivered. He moved with such beguiling animalistic grace and he talked to her with that hypnotic rumble of his voice.

 _Loving Logan was effortless… like breathing…. She felt safe…_

"I think you missed a perfect opportunity to say something about getting you out of those dry clothes" she mused, looking at his discarded suit sitting by the entrance to the communal showers and he chuckled.

Trusting him was another matter. He confused her, he set her at war within herself when he was near her… but he fucking owned her far too easily whenever he touched her. She came apart in waves of pure pleasure for him almost on command and the sexy smile on the scoundrels face told her he'd just figured that part out too.

Logan mentally scolded himself for behaving like an ape overdosed on testosterone but any regrets had disappeared after she had melted into him, submitted to him and the half-formed apology vanished. Part of it had been lust… but another part had been something primal… a need to mark her as his until she remembered who she belonged with… and perhaps a little jealousy…

 _Not Weevil… Not Dick… Not Duncan Fucking Kane… **Him** and no one else…_

He knew that she fought to corral her thoughts, to remain practical, logical and pragmatic. They had bigger issues to be dealing with right now and she was probably fatigued from all the myriad of tugs he'd made at that the wall around her heart. He watched her silently brood as he slowly massaged and lathered up the bubbles in her hair and kissed her forehead.

"I'm never going to be able to have a shower in here again without thinking about this…" she pouted, sliding back into her clothes as she tossed her ruined shirt into the trashcan beside them, her blond hair was still a little damp and tangled, and her eyes shimmered with the afterglow of sex.

"How do you think I feel about my bedroom?" Logan countered, raising an eyebrow and she blushed again as he made a leisurely inspection of her body, mourning the loss of her nakedness. He watched her like he was expecting her to vanish or have some kind of post coital seizure, but none came. She tucked a strand of her glitter free blond hair behind her ear and the sexual tension in the air crackled like an electrical storm as her mind weighed the ramifications of this. Logan Echolls was no slouch in the looks department and he only had eyes for her.

Pregnancy wasn't an issue because after her last visit to the hospital she had asked for a birth control injection. It didn't matter to her anymore that half of their classmates thought he was obsessed with her… friends didn't set each other alight like this and as he drew her close again and plundered her mouth… she knew the love between them was mutual.

For now, she was going to let any niggling suspicions that his pretty face was hiding all kinds of lies and stop being so damn difficult by trying to ruin her own happiness.

(A/N what are your favorite elements of this story so far?)


	58. Chapter 58

"You are so full of shit," Frankie Hernandez laughed heartily, shaking his head as he looked a Sal Valetta, his business partner and owner of the Mermaid Inn, a small dive found down on the Neptune Plazza Boardwalk known for its illegal backroom high stakes gambling. Many of the profits that were too large to be filtered through the bar, were brought here to The Dirty Nickel Laundromat to be distributed amongst the various employees. Frankie was known as the Cleaner, he often handed out the wages to the lower level members of their little organized crime family along with their smalls and clean uniforms, and the next weeks shipment of whatever they happened to be pushing that month.

"Because you and I are too much alike," Sal said smugly. "Don't you think? You'll be the luckiest son of a bitch alive if he can pull that off," he chuckled turning to leave again, referring to the plans that Frankie had set in motion to try and broker a deal to corner the High School Drug trade in Neptune. Most of those fat cat customers they wanted to buy their products were the wealthy trust fund kids of the 09ers, get them hooked early… and you are set up for life. A man's got to retire sometime, if he could set up the right influence, broker a deal between the Runners and the supplier, he could take a small cut and sit back risk free, he didn't want to be dealing with this forever.

They were smart enough to try and keep that poison out of their own neighbourhoods, no point having an unreliable workforce… not to mention addicts got desperate for a fix and if they fell out of favour, they might blab to the wrong person. So keeping your guys clean worked to your advantage. The only barrier he had so far was this Navarro kid who'd taken over the PCHers in the last few years, he was hard line anti-drug, not even just in his own neighbourhood, but in the school as well. It was time for a regime change, but these young bloods were loyal sons of bitches, and he was their leader. The only way to replace him would be to get someone on the inside who was Loyal to them, someone greedy enough to want the power… who could be easily gotten rid of once the changes were fully established. You didn't keep a traitor like that around after he'd served his purpose, but for now, that Eduardo kid was lapping up all his praise, directing an ego like his into position took finesse… he had to think it was all his own idea… and the meetings between the Fitzpatrick's were going well.

You didn't easily walk away from the kind of coin that could be made from claiming an untapped resource like Neptune High School. New customers rolled in every year, and once you had them… you usually kept them. They just graduated to the University Clientele, then it was Tourist and Club Scene… and even the ones who married and had kids eventually ended up trying to reclaim their glory days in the Rusty Knot strip club before divorcing and having their drugs delivered to their homes along with their pizza's and dry cleaning.

"Here, I'll walk you to the door," Frankie replied in an almost amused tone as his friend walked away. His gaze meandered at the tumbling machines and the few regular faces he knew who worked as domestics in the fancy 09er estates. It wasn't much of a throne, but it was his kingdom that had managed to stay in business long after Cormac Fitzpatrick and that influx of Italian mobsters and even that punk kid London Sinclair whose fate had ended up looking like a Greek tragedy.

 _People might think he was small time… but him and Sal endured… he'd take endurance over burning out like some uppity little second rate bitch any day._

"I expect to see you at the Knot on Friday, free crabcakes and you know my Nora misses your ugly face, although I can't imagine why, you ugly bastard" Sal called as he headed towards his car.

"I'll think about it if I can wash the smell of you out of my office, asshole!" Frankie chuckled before he turned to go back inside.

Logan stared at the entrance to The Dirty Nickel as they watched the large Hispanic man turn back inside and move towards his office. They had decided to drive Veronica's car to the meeting with Weevil and Felix and leave his back at the school parking lot because his drew too much attention.

He recalled the day he'd first brought it home.. a yellow attention-seeking monstrosity he believed she had called it, although he couldn't deny that it did attract unwanted notice if they were supposed to be having some kind of cloak and dagger meeting. She just hadn't gotten around to telling her boyfriend that she was going to be attending it alone. She was a master tactician, and as tenacious as a Jack Russell terrier but sometimes, she had to do the hunting by herself… especially when being near him made her feel like she had been plugged into an electrical socket.

"You should stay here" Veronica told him gently.

"Absolutely not…when exactly did this become an exclusive invitation?" he protested but she silenced him with a kiss that drew him in until she pulled back, the wicked promises in his eyes told her he wanted to forget the mission completely and take her someplace to ruffle her up. She worried that this latest development between them was going to have her acting like a blushing, mumbling idiot for a few months.

"You aren't dressed for espionage… and they won't talk as freely if you are around. Someone.. probably you or Weevil will turn this into some kind of dick measuring contest and we don't need that right now… we need answers" she explained, making sure to put extra emphasis on the 'We' but she could see the defiance in his eyes. Logan and Weevil had been sworn enemies since the first moment they met but she didn't know how to convince him that his presence was more of a hindrance than a help at this point but she loved him for wanting to be with her.

"And we will get them even if I have to beat it out of someone" Logan promised, slumping back into his chair, the scratches on his back starting to ache a little, her heart somersaulted at the dejected look on his face.

 _Why was she so insistent on sideling him when he needed to protect her?_

"Here..." she said, holding up a small earpiece device and showing him the small clip she had buttoned onto her coat lapel.

"You want to jam out to some tunes _now_?" he grunted unhappily as she winced a little. "You know right now I'm feeling more like your bodyfriend instead of your boyfriend" he added taking the small gadget that she offered.

"It's an earpiece… you'll be like those cops in the listening van and I'm going undercover, I can hide in plain sight" she said, pointing at the bag with the rest of her glitter covered clothes. He looked into her fathoms-deep clear blue eyes and nodded.

 _Sometimes you had to break the rules to protect what you love. Even if they were your own._

"And I can't..." he sighed, disappointed walloped him.

 _She was still benching him…_

He couldn't deny the truth of her logic, but that didn't mean he liked it.

"Nothing about can hide Logan Echolls... you were born to stand out" she encouraged, he was every inch the image of propriety and class.

"Correction… Born to be Outstanding" he joked, putting the earpiece in place.

"You'll hear everything as if you were right there with me…" she promised, the trust between them had to start somewhere, and if he could bend for her this little, then perhaps she could ease into letting him help out with the rest of it as well.

"Okay" he nodded. "You go be all inconspicuous" Logan told her as he brushed a few tendrils of golden blond hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear, pulling her mouth back to his for a slow searing kiss like he was a shameless pleasure-seeker.

"Maybe we should get you a handlebar moustache?" he teased kissing along her jawline to her throat. "I could get a newspaper… cut some holes in it like those 1950's batman episodes" he continued as he nibbled her ear and she moaned, he was doing his best to keep her side-tracked. Lips against lips, the tip of his tongue tracing the seam in between hers until she let him in, keeping his hands from reaching under her shirt felt like nibbling on crackers when a whole banquet was on offer. He'd wanted to distract her… Slow and naughty, with a soundtrack in her head and a sharp need to press her thighs together.

He had battled with himself on whether or not he was going to try and convince her to drop this whole thing, but he couldn't do that. He had to get justice for Lilly, he had to help make up for his stupidity over the last year. He had to protect her, and the safest thing for her would be when the monsters that had shattered their lives were behind bars.

 _She just had to learn that although he would sit this part out… she wasn't doing any more of this solo…_

She tipped up her chin and pierced him with her gaze.

"Promise me you won't leave the car unless I call for you" she said, lifting a brow.

"You're a demanding little thing." he retorted, mourning the absence of her perfect lips from his.

"Logan…" she sighed, her pretty caramel-coloured hair framed her face as she looked into his desire-darkened eyes. "If you have trouble hearing me… the last 60.00hz on the dial on the radio should be able to pick up the chatter if you park a little closer…"

"You can't blame me for being worried Veronica" Logan told her firmly. "We don't know how deep thing goes, or how many people are involved… all we know is someone apparently thinks it's worth paying millions to hush up and even killing someone over."

"Trust me.. I haven't forgotten" she promised, looking towards the laundromat in front of them, thinking of how the Kane's could have been involved… of how all roads could lead back to Duncan made her want to hyperventilate. A person could get anything in this city, any day, any time, and it was usually because of places like this. Her stomach gurgled and she looked at her cell phone, checking the time. "Thank you, for wanting to be with me. It's very gallant." She whispered, kissing his cheek before she got out of the car.

 _Gallant? It felt like a God damned necessity and it was taking everything in him to stay buckled in his seat as he watched her walk towards the entrance._

6.55pm.

Almost time.

"So you're the detective huh?" a taller Latino boy in a black shirt and trousers said as he nodded in her direction as she wandered into the laundromat and he stood playing the slot machine. He must have been about twenty one. Definitely not one of the PCHers from her school, although his tattoos suggested that he had once been affiliated with the gang.

"Jill-of-all-trades really…" Veronica replied as she cast a wary glance at the short Asian woman whose head twisted in her direction at the word Detective, her dark eyes assessing her before turning back to fold her laundry.

"Well that's okay, I'm not sure I have a type" he said, but despite his smile, everything about her body language read that she wasn't quite as certain as she'd like him to believe.

"You're very smooth." She smiled back politely and it was a few minutes later she learned his name was Cory and he was in college, he was actually an old friend of Mateo's, one of Daisy's friends from her old neighbourhood.

"Becca shouldn't be long" he told her as he handed over a small cup of lukewarm coffee. She wished he would say something. Blink. Instead he just continued to stare at her in that calculating way that she was used to dealing with from Weevil, only on Cory, it was much more menacing.

"Thanks, it's nice of you to wait with me" Veronica replied as she sipped on the beverage.

He grinned. "I'm going to call my mom later and tell her she did a good job raising me. She'll be delighted. She'd lost hope by the time I was in high school. Thought I was a selfish brat. Not without reason, I must confess."

"What do we have here? You flirting with my girl Core?" Weevil interrupted as he entered the Laundromat with Felix and Havier flanking him on either side. It almost made her laugh how much their little procession looked like a wolf pack as the two of them surveyed the area for possible trouble while Weevil's eyes locked onto his target.

Her.

"You think they are all yours little man… you have ever since your Abuela told you girls were made from candy" Cory chuckled as he pounded Weevils fist in greeting and nodded at Veronica.

"Where's Becca at?" Felix asked from behind him.

"Late" Cory snorted, the annoyance with her tardiness was written all over his body language.

 _What was he even doing here to begin with?_

"She'll be here" Weevil soothed as he slotted into the seat opposite Veronica. "So what did you find out?" he asked her.

"You mean since the five minutes ago when you told me I was taking this case?" Veronica retorted.

"I thought you said she was going to be helping you dawg?" Havier asked Felix as he took up a seat on top of one of the washing machines, almost knocking the basket of garments belonging to a young African American woman who had a shy 6 year old boy clinging to her hips as he looked up at the older boy.

"I am, but it takes longer than a totally occupied afternoon to get any kind of information" she snapped back.

"Yeah, because painting your nails is so time consuming" he retaliated, hinting at the slight sparkles that could still be seen on her fingernails.

"There's phone records to sort through, timelines to draw up.. plus I still have no idea why I'm meeting Becca here… and Daisy was my god damned friend! So how about you shut up?" Veronica growled.

"Hey get off the washer!" Frankie called over and Weevil gestured for Havier to get down with a simple nod of his head.

"So why are we meet here?" Veronica asked,

""Sorry. My fault. Braving the mean streets and then I had to drop Cadence home" Becca Walker called as she bustled into the shop, carrying a large bag of laundry and dropped it at her feet, wrapping Felix up in a hug as she did.

The scene in front of her couldn't look more like the mismatched cast of some horrible horror movie plot that was trying to go for gold in the diversity department. Everyone sort of made sense, Daisy was Becca's roommate at Hearst, Weevil was Felix's best friend and Daisy had dated his brother and she'd worked for her father at the Mars Investigations office… wherever Weevil went, Hector or Havier went… everyone had their connection to this case… everyone but Cory.

 _So what was his deal?_

"How do you guy's even know each other?" Veronica asked Cory as her gaze flickered over to Becca.

"He's my Brother" she explained.

"Step-brother" he corrected.

"Like it makes a difference" she glared before turning her big brown eyes to Veronica like she was some lost little sister and pulling her in for a hug.

"How's the baby murdering business?" he retorted and it took Veronica a few minutes to recall that she worked in the Neptune Women's Free Clinic just off campus.

"Bite me" she grumbled over her shoulder.

"Hi Becca" Veronica replied, a lump beginning to form in her throat as she remembered why they even needed this meeting in the first place and guilt gnawed at her insides.

"Hey Veronica" she answered quietly before she turned and tossed a ticket stub in Cory's direction. "Here, now you have clean sheets… fricking washing service and you still can't even do your own damn laundry" she complained at him before she looked back at the petite blond sitting opposite her and a heavy silence fell over them.

"It was my fault" Becca declared finally, big pools of tears filling her eyes as she sucked in a heavy breath.

"Shhh Becca… don't say that… you didn't know what was going to happen" Weevil argued.

"I got her involved… this is on me…" Becca sobbed. "Look Veronica… we brought you here because it was safer than meeting at the house or at your dad's office… you never know who could be listening… I mean here we all just look like people getting their laundry, you know?"

"What are you talking about? What was your fault?" Veronica asked, her heart was now racing and her palms were starting to sweat.

"Daisy wasn't killed in a mugging gone wrong" Becca cried, wiping the angry tears away as she reached into her bag and pulled out a small red tablet.

 _But surely that was obvious since they had brought her here to look into her death?_

"She Was Assassinated… by Supreme Court Justice Kelvin Bancroft" Becca declared, handing the small device to Veronica .

 _Supreme Court Justice Kelvin Bancroft?_

 _Did that mean this was something related to one of Cliff's cases?_

 _Exactly what else was on this tablet that Daisy was looking into without her knowing about that could have gotten her killed?_


	59. Chapter 59

Veronica found herself suddenly fully present as she drank in every piece of information about Becca Walker, the girl currently sitting opposite her. From her dyed blue hair, dark eye make-up that made her olive skin look paler, to the nose ring, all the way to her chipped green nail polish and how her grey hoodie drowned her small frame, she noted the nervous play of her fingers. Daisy had been killed because of those files she'd requested from the Neptune Births and Deaths Registry… she was sure of it. The timing of the Clerks body being found and the missing paperwork was too coincidental.

 _In Neptune nothing happens by accident…._

"I didn't want to bring this up with your dad when he was at the house because Nadz and Cadence were listening" she explained, referring to her girlfriend and roommate as she began to flick through pictures on the tablet and pulled up one showing several men in their late-twenties to early thirties, white… probably eastern European from the hard jut of their jaws, crowded around several shipping containers down by the Poseidon's Bay, Neptune Shipping yard. "This is what she was working on before… you know…" she sniffled as Veronica took in her tear-ravaged face.

Veronica took the small tablet and Weevil studied her face as she zeroed in on it and began skimming through the photos of three unmarked black vans and several guys standing around a shipping container, some of them had guns, she could tell from the way they held themselves, standing around looking nervous.

 _Or ready to throw down or to be shooting down helicopters from a moving vehicle…._

"What's in the containers?" she asked absentmindedly but her fingers kept scrolling past the various close ups of each of the men, different body parts, it took her a moment to realize that they were cataloguing identifying marks. Tattoos, height etc.

"Keep going, you'll see" Weevil told her grimly and she felt uneasy… something bad enough to get him rattled couldn't be good.

It was then the dots began to connect, she gaze moved to Becca who nodded helplessly, and sure enough, the next few pictures started to come through, several filthy looking young girls of various heights and ages being dragged from inside the container along with what looked like some frightened older Asian individuals and herded into the vans. These guys made the PCHers look like kids playing dress up.

 _How had Daisy even found out about this? Some of these girls are barely older than I am…_

She felt like she was going to be sick, her eyes shot back up to meet Becca's and understanding finally dawned onto her.

"The Clinic…" Veronica said numbly and tears began to pour down Becca's face again as she nodded.

"I was working late just before Thanksgiving… I'm not in touch with my parents since they kicked me out when they found out about me and Cadence" Becca continued as she wiped away the tears and lowered her voice, casting a quick glance around the Laundromat where Cory was distracting Frankie who went out the back to collect his laundry. "Everyone was supposed to be gone already and the clinic would have been empty, except for like I said, I was still around… I'd just finished up some paperwork because it'd been really busy and I was in the supply closet restocking so the staff coming back after the holidays would have less to do… and then these guys showed up" she sniffed, pointing at two of the guys in the picture. "But they weren't alone… they had Dr Colton and Annie West, one of the treatment nurses… at first I didn't know what was going on… but something felt really wrong and when I went to check… they had guns… and they brought these girls in… they couldn't have been any more than about 15 years old… and I don't think they could even understand English but I don't know what it was… Ukrainian or Russian maybe?" she frowned but shook her head and Felix rubbed her shoulder.

"I couldn't risk taking this to your dad… I don't know whose watching me, I probably shouldn't even be involving you at all…. Except there's no other way… they have people down in the Sheriff's department" she spluttered and stared at her hands like she expected to find blood on them buried under her fingernails.

"My dad's looking into Daisy's death… I'll make sure he gets this, but you have to tell me everything… " Veronica encouraged, reaching her hand out to take Becca's.

"You can't get him involved directly… this goes too high up, I know that now… I was so dumb before. I shouldn't have let Daisy… but she was Daisy, you know?" Becca sobbed. "She could blend in most places, and she promised she would be careful. Then that Libby Borello case kicked off with Cliff, and she was on the news, I think someone must have recognised her… figured out what she was doing… I should have stopped her… but I was weak and gutless… now she's dead…"

"I did some digging on my own with some of my Uncles old Cartel buddy's… they've been using the Clinic after hours as their own private family planning centre… it's been interfering with the Cartel's expansion." Weevil interrupted.

"One of their girls gets knocked up… they take care of the problem right there after hours" Felix added.

"One of the girls begging for someone to contact Justice Bancroft… and _he_ … shot her right there" Becca told her, pointing at a taller man in a grey tailored suit… he looked like a monster who can just as easily kill as kiss you.

"Who are they?" Veronica asked, her voice was barely a whisper as the scene played out in her head.

"Russian Bratva, Traffickers, the girls are stolen, owned like chattel, kept controlled and sold into slavery" Weevil answered, looking at the petite blond in front of him, he never ceased to be amazed at her ability to stare ugly truths of the world in the face head on and not flinch. She was more than a pretty face - she was strong, resilient and intelligent.

 _Too good for a fool like Echolls…_ _The world is full of monsters, and I'm not the most dangerous one out there._

"Russian Mob?" Veronica gasped in a quiet voice. She knew from various stories her dad used to tell her that most of those girls would have grown up in near poverty, they would have been promised work.. like a modelling contract or a waitressing job and would have run away from home.

"I don't want to be getting you involved in this much either V, but we need you to reach out to your dad, maybe he's got some Fed buddy's or something?" Weevil replied and she glanced at him, in his own right Weevil was powerful, intelligent and cunning. He wasn't a monster but he could be ruthless just the same. He was just that good of a player to mask it all.

Her heart was racing as she looked at the photographs of those girls… How long ago had these pictures been taken? Where were they now? What had happened to the girl they'd shot in the clinic?

 _None of those answers were worth getting unless it came along with a tumbler of fine Scotch… Investigating Lilly's murder was one thing… There's no way Logan would be okay with her getting mixed up in this…_

"When you play with these guys... Only Death stops the game." Felix said solemnly and her keen eyes noted all the nuances of his face. He looked like he hadn't slept properly in days.

"And you think this is what got Daisy killed?" she asked, but her mind was silently thanking Logan for staying in the car.

"It has to be… about a week before she was… she came across some group connected to Bancroft… some Illuminati types from his college days at Hearst… they call themselves The Castle… but there's no official list anywhere of their memberships… she was supposed to be meeting with this guy Alex in the Neptune Galaxy Resort Casino… that's the last anyone heard from her" Becca exhaled as she tossed over a small set of keys with a shell keyring. "She kept a storage locker in her mother's maiden name… down by the Marina… I think she kept all her stuff there" she explained as Cory returned with the bag and stood over his step sisters shoulders. His large muscular frame dwarfed her.

"I told you two just to stay out of it… but then she wasn't the type to listen… remember when Daisy found out that Nadia had her ex-boyfriend steal her money and skips town, leaving her with his gambling debt and a loan shark determined to collect? Those protective instincts kicked in and the guy ended up in the hospital?" Cory mused grimly. "This shit isn't any small time loan shark… and I am begging you manita, let this go…"

Could she handle this? Should she even be getting her father involved? Even the thought of these people somehow tracing the investigation back home was giving Veronica some major heart palpitations. Her nerves were all over the place not knowing what was going to happen and how it was all going to go down. She drank down the last of her bitter coffee and promised herself a Latte for the way home to wash out the taste when something occurred to her.

"How did they get close enough?" Veronica asked quietly.

"What are you muttering about Blondie?" Felix questioned.

"She was stabbed… they'd have to get close to her… close enough to catch her off guard" she reasoned, after the Fitzpatrick's had killed her boyfriend Gustavio Toomes, Daisy had spiralled… several arrests for fighting, she'd quit cheerleading and was almost heading down the wrong path before she had joined the Half Moon Dojo and dedicated herself to Martial Arts and trying to get justice for Gustavio the right way but she never lost that prickly edge, her sharp analytical scientific mind wouldn't allow her to just charge head first into something this big without a plan… she wouldn't have done this alone. She'd have reached out to someone… someone with experience… someone like her dad… but her father knew nothing about it or he would have told her.

 _Would she have gotten Lamb involved with this?_


	60. Chapter 60

"What the hell was she doing?" Veronica sobbed angrily finally as she got back into her car and curled up into Logan's lap as her mind tried to absorb the latest fucked up details of the story developing in front of her and he wrapped his arms protectively around the petite blond teen detective. Even as his comforting warmth enveloped her, she knew that she couldn't walk away and deep down she didn't want to. Even Becca, who was beyond terrified after witnessing a brutal killing-hadn't been able to leave it alone like her step brother had begged her to. "I might need some serious hand-holding in order to finish this one.." she sniffed as she curled her arms around him and hugged him closer.

"You really think what happened to Daisy was some kind of vast conspiracy?" Logan asked softly.

"You mean like Lilly's?" Veronica replied quietly, glancing at him before resting her head on his shoulder. Musing to herself how different this was to the beginning of the school year. School administrators had separated their classes because their arguing was like verbal foreplay, and their reputation around town had been notorious because of the constant feuding. Metaphorically... She'd been the prettiest little girl that he'd ever seen and he just had to push her and pull on her pigtails… he'd been her nemesis and getting to their relationship had seemed endless… now it was almost a week and a half to Christmas and she didn't want to be anywhere but right here snuggled up in his arms.

 _I love you Logan Echolls…_

"You're going to just leave this to your dad now right?" he pleaded, already knowing and dreading the answer. He would handcuff her to him and make her watch the Godfather trilogy on repeat until she realized just how stupid an idea going up against something like this would be.

"I haven't been able to think that far ahead just yet" she admitted, glancing down at the small gym bag in the backseat where she had stashed the tablet.

 _He wanted her to quit this investigation... and any sane person probably should…_

"Do you still think it was anything to do with the Abel Koontz files?" he questioned.

"I did… but now there's all this new evidence… I don't know what my guts trying to tell me" she confessed as she turned and kissed his cheek, reaching up and taking the listening device from his ear. "You smell like a fruit salad" she smiled absently, inhaling his masculine scent and catching notes of the pineapple and coconut shampoo.

"Says the girl who looked like she should be flying off to Neverland" he quipped back, tucking a piece of her hair away from her neck and kissing her throat softly as his other hand wrapped underneath her shirt, caressing the soft skin at her lower back. She moaned and it was better than music. "All I want to do is protect you Veronica…" he breathed against her ear, his brows furrowing and she could almost see the gears showing in his head.

 _How could he make her understand? Daisy's story was a cautionary tale… not an instruction manual…_

"Thanks… for trusting me to be in there… for having my back… I know it was hard..." she told him, her blue eyes pouring into his, he didn't say anything, he just nodded, his brown eyes searching hers.

 _You have no idea… I'm not built to sit on the sidelines... all he wanted to do now was fill up his dad's boat and run away with her someplace safe… with enough time for Stockholm Syndrome to develop... because ever losing her now made him feel like he'd lose his damn mind…_

She smiled and played with the lapels of his suit jacket as if she'd just been entertaining the very same idea. But he knew she would never go for it. It wasn't who she was. Remembering their time together this afternoon he was coming to realise exactly what Veronica meant to him. And from that point on the poor girl had no chance, because he was never going to let her go.

"Yeah well... together. That's what we said…. And you are right… I do kind of look like a lawyer in this suit" he smirked, a smile curving one corner of his mouth.

"A hot lawyer if that helps" she said distractedly and then her cheeks reddened as she realized she'd said it out loud, and she pulled her hands away again.

 _Great... now he know's you are a pervert..._

"I'm starting to think you have a thing for undressing me when I wear formal wear" he grinned as he caught her wrists and put them back where they had been playing with the buttons of his shirt just moments before.

"Well shocking enough, not everyone can afford to buy an entire store… I'm just preserving the clothes" she teased, embarrassed as her arms snaked around his neck and she sat up straighter in his lap and an image of her wearing nothing but his shirt the morning after Homecoming came to mind.

"Are you hungry?" he asked softly, his voice was strained as he felt himself hardening in his pants.

"We need to get you back to your car" Veronica reasoned, casting a quick look at the dashboard clock.

7.49pm

"Your dad's probably expecting you home soon" he nodded, tilting his head towards her ear and the scent of the unfamiliar shampoo brought back the memories of their shower together.

 _He hated leaving her…_

"Yeah… Backup probably needs his walk… you wanna come with me?" she asked shyly.

They could grab something from that little Vietnamese place for dinner not too far from the school and eat together.

 _If Dad doesn't run Logan off with a Rifle on the porch… but hey… even the wheels of justice got to eat… right?_

Logan regarded her with surprise seemingly weighing the wisdom of spending time with the Elder Mars.

"You sure he'd be okay with us fogging the house windows up?" he teased glancing at the car windows around them.

"Why would we be doing that? My heart's pitter-pattering and my head is still in lala land! A boy simply be coming a courting" Veronica said in a fake soft southern accent.

"Somehow I was thinking we'd end up looking more like a pro-wrestling couple" he retorted in a voice that could melt honeysuckle from a lime, kissing along her jaw and nibbling her ear.

"And with imagery like that my panties are in flames…" she chuckled, grateful for the moment of lightness breaking her thoughts over wondering if Sheriff Lamb had been involved in Daisy's investigation... or her murder. "I should call home" she sighed before she pulled him closer for a kiss and the taste of him was like unbridled energy pouring down her throat as she ran her fingers through his hair, feeling something deep in her core clench with awareness, remembering how they were joined together on a few hours ago. She whimpered against his lips, unused to this need that his expert mouth could elicit from her all too easily.

Logan pulled back and tried to slow his breath, looking at the wanton blond bombshell in his lap, she was petite but a handful in all of the right places. She was pure stardust and he could happily spend the night getting jubilantly drunk on her kisses.

"Is it always like this?" she whispered, her words betraying just how innocent and inexperienced she still was as his thumb traced the outline of her smooth, full, provocative mouth.

"No…" he admitted as he stared in stupefaction. "Only with you…" he brushed back the heavy swathe of blond hair, smoothing it behind her ear. His fingertips tracing the outline of the small scar from the day of her accident when she'd fallen and had her seizure. "Does that scare you?" he asked quietly and those blue eyes fastened on him. She frowned as the thought took foot and flourished, Logan had ignored all of her defensive barricades and steamrolled right over them. Having him near her now was like a fundamental need. She craved it.

 _It terrified her…_

Veronica had always been like a lone wolf and she had found a home in him. He'd tamed that part of her that had always snarled and fought to protect itself, to stay free… and she was still worried that he'd wake up one morning and sleep her off like a hangover.

"Good girl falls for bad boy…" she shrugged drawing in a breath and glancing away.

"Very different people who have a kindred soul" he said, turning her chin back to face him.

"Did I not mention his boyband hair and dark brown eyes, seductive smile, and a hard-body?" she smiled weakly.

"I know I hurt you Veronica. You have no idea how much I wish I could take it all back and have you look at me that way again…" he sighed, his soulful brown eyes were so earnest as they poured into her and she could almost feel his ache. "Back to when you trusted that I would never hurt you…"

 _Back to when you didn't battle yourself for loving me…_

"I do trust you" she told him truthfully and kissed him. "I love you" she murmured and she felt his hands squeeze her ass as her tummy rumbled before she pulled back and giggled.

"Please don't eat ice-cream at me in front of your dad" he pleaded as she climbed over into her own seat.

"Have you never seen me seductively eat noodles?" she mocked as she turned the ignition and the radio blared to life. "Hey… at least you are dressed to impress?" she winked.

The short drive to Neptune High didn't take long and they both agreed that Logan would pick up the food while Veronica headed home to see her father and warn him that they were having company for dinner. She was immediately panicked by the sight of blue flashing lights of police and ambulances outside the Sunset Crescent Apartments where she lived with her dad, she couldn't park in her usual spot near the entrance because of the News van's starting to gather.

 _Had someone seen her at the Laundromat? Was this Them? Where was her father?_

"What's going on?" she asked Gladys, one of her neighbours who was standing in the street outside.

"I'm not sure… I was just on my way home…" she replied.

Veronica hurried to the stairs to the apartment complex and her heart nearly stopped when she saw the gurney with the body being wheeled into the back of the County Coroners van. Bright red blood stains seeping through the white towel they'd used to cover the body.

"Oh God…" she gasped, reaching into her pocket and dialling her dad desperately.

"Veronica?" his voice called from the top of the stairs.

"Dad?!" she exclaimed, her heart thundering with relief as she leapt up into his arms. "What happened?"

"There was a shooting… do you remember the pregnant girl from upstairs?" he asked as he finished descending down the staircase.

"Umm Sarah I think?" she nodded. She'd briefly been getting to know her around them complex before her amnesia, but they'd never really gotten a chance to get too close. "She lives with that painter?"

"Well it seems her parents came to try and take her home… there was a struggle involving a gun and both she and her stepfather were shot" he sighed pointing at the gurney, it was obviously a male victim, given the size of the shoes.

"And Sarah?" she asked quietly as he draped an arm protectively over her shoulder.

"She's on her way to Neptune Memorial now… but they aren't sure if they will both make it" he answered grimly as they both looked over at what Veronica assumed was Sarah's mother sitting in shock, wrapped in a blanket being asked questions by Sheriff Lamb.

 _Her husband had just been killed, and her daughter and grandchild were fighting for their lives on their way to hospital..._

Her fathers answer felt like someone had cut through her lighter mood after the meeting with Becca and Weevil with a guillotine.

 _There was no way she could discuss the contents of the tablet with him tonight... Not now..._

"Let me guess… the Butler did it?" Lamb asked as he wandered over towards them and nausea swamped her senses as she noted his smug expression.

"I'm sure if you do some fine detective work Donald, you could figure it out" Keith replied coldly.

"Every time I get a case involving far too much damn paperwork… it's usually got your name all over it Mars" the Sheriff glared.

"What can I say? I like to heed my convictions and close cases" Keith said derisively.

"Open and shut case. Domestic gone wrong" Lamb smiled, his hideously handsome face sickened her.

 _Of course Daisy wouldn't have asked this jackass for help… he didn't know the first thing about being a real Sheriff…_

"Look at this one… trying to act all grown… shouldn't you be off doing homework somewhere?" he said with wry amusement as he glared at Veronica who was throwing daggers at him. "You know Keith… Hell of a neighbourhood to be trying to raise a family… maybe you should go see the Wizard… ask for a safer postcode" he added mockingly before he nodded at Deputy Briar to take the mother down to the Sheriff's Department for questioning. "Starting to think you Martians need to come with a Government Health Warning" he said finally before he climbed back into the squad car.

 _How could such a beautiful face be attached to someone filled with such spite and malice?_

"Veronica?" a familiar voice called from behind her.

"Hey…" she offered weakly, stepping away from her dad to see Logan standing observing the scene, his eyes scanning over her in relief.

"Logan.." her father greeted sternly as he glanced over at his daughter and back at the boy in front of him.

"Tafelspitz?" she shrugged awkwardly.

(A/N I thought it would be fun to add in a few AU impacts with how Veronica's lack of case solving would affect the storylines we have seen in Cannon. In this case... Sarah was the girl who Veronica was investigating for going missing during the show... as we can see... no Veronica investigation had this story end quite differently)


	61. Chapter 61

"Alright! Finally!" Dick grinned as he greeted Logan the following morning at his locker as his brown eyes roved over Veronica's petite form in her white t-shirt, red and green plaid skirt and small heels as she stood with Wallace collecting her books for class.

"Finally what?" he asked looking at his blond companion in confusion.

 _Did he have a love-bite someplace he didn't know about?_

Giving Dick his full attention, he noted his friend's longer than usual blond hair was damp and tousled and he had a towel wrapped around his shoulders. He must have been out surfing before school again this morning. Typically Logan would have gone with him but he was exhausted after the revelations and drama from the night before. Mr Mars was insisting on looking for a new apartment complex after the incident involving that girl Sarah from the flat upstairs despite Veronica's reasoning that it could have happened anywhere.

 _A small private island and we could get one of those little cottages on the properties for her dad… maybe then she would run away with him?_

The thought that she was entertaining getting involved in an investigation involving the Mob and people high up in the justice system had kept him awake into the small hours of the morning. She was drawn to trouble like a moth to a flame. He'd been practising all night how to give her a warning speech to not take this case in a way that wouldn't have her completely hate him and even thinking about it made his head ache.

 _At least I know she's not entirely immune to my powers of persuasion…_

"I mean Ka-Pow… you finally sexed that little blond thing up… now that's what I'm talking about Bro… all that emotions crap… was turning you into some therapy seeking junkie when all you needed was to use your Junk… Sometimes you just need to remind the little lady… she's a little woman" he said offering up a fist bump.

"How the hell did you even find out about that?" Logan demanded, glancing over in Veronica's direction protectively.

 _Had they been caught?_

"Dude… it's me! I've been watching you have Post-Coital conversations with chicks for the last 2 years.. I know the signs… and that little hottie has been looking at you like she can't blush hard enough" Dick said patting him on the back.

 _Typical… you could parade an entire safari of animals and have penguins in bikinis teaching all of the classes and Dick would barely notice… but one night of intimacy with Veronica and he's fricking Sherlock Holmes._

"I'm proud… oh hey are those your dads boots from Hair Trigger?" he asked browsing at the contents of his locker.

"Uh.. yeah. _Big Ticket Item._ Dad promised Vice Principal Clemmons he could have them for the auction" Logan confirmed before grabbing his books for his Life Skills class.

"Alright… new scoreboard… Hey Bro… now you've scored you could totally put it up there" Dick grinned and punched his shoulder, earning him an arched eyebrow. "Okay… you are under caffeinated… but it's okay, I'm guessing she wore you out last night since it's been a while. You go greet the little lady, I'm going to get me grape soda, I'll grab you a Red bull and see you in class"

"Later Dick" Logan sighed shaking his head before he picked up his bag and headed over towards Veronica and Wallace.

"Sup?" Wallace greeted as he nodded in his direction, as if responding on cue Veronica turned rewarded him with a smile and he gave her a tender kiss on the cheek as her arms automatically wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer. "I swear it's like since you got your memories back you are one part Koala" Wallace sighed shaking his head.

"I thought you smelled like eucalyptus" Veronica said, addressing Logan as she looked up at him, glad to be close to him again, even now her body recalled how and where it had been touched… if she could dissolve him into smoke and inhale him, it still would never be close enough. His masculine, musky scent had a hint of something spicy this morning and she wanted to just burrow into his wide chest that cushioned her against him and stay there for the rest of the day.

"I wouldn't be sending off to Animal Planet just yet… opening her arms… spreading her legs… it's all the same to her really" Caitlin snarled, glaring at Logan as she slammed her locker closed and wandered off towards the girls bathroom with Alexandra and Gabrielle, Veronica felt her vocal cords jam at the calculated insult.

"There we have it folks Neptune High's very own cast of Mean Girls" Meg sighed sympathetically as she joined them. "Hello My Basketball Star" she smiled at Wallace, tugging his arm so he was closer to her and stealing a kiss. Veronica cast a look at his best friend who looked like Meg Manning had just lit the entire sun from inside him his grin was so wide.

"Would it be weird if we started a drinking game based on how often I only get to see you these days when I'm at my locker?" Veronica asked Meg teasing.

"Only a star because I got my favourite girl cheering me on" he retorted smiling crookedly at her and Veronica rolled her eyes and shared a sneaky glance with Logan.

 _Hypocrite…_

"Oh look… it's the usual morning snugglers. Move it along to class…. Come on…" Mr Sanders groaned as he walked down the corridors towards the administration lounge.

"I do have to get ready for the morning announcements actually" Meg sighed in dismay as she gazed up at Wallace.

"And I have attendance slips to check and tardy notes to dispense in the Admin office" Wallace lamented in mutual disappointment.

"Quite the workaholic power couple, it sort of makes you feel like a slacker, doesn't it pumpkin?" Logan teased Veronica as he kissed her forehead.

"Yeah… I mean all we do is smooching in the hallways…." Veronica grinned at Wallace who was busy admiring Meg as she walked away towards the AV club to do the schools morning announcements.

 _Or have clandestine meetings in laundromats and think about taking down an international sex trafficking ring?_

Neptune was an exclusive coastal resort and home to several shipping lanes if someone wanted to bypass San Diego. It made sense that that in a place more usually known for harbouring luxury private yachts for celebrities and politicians that some corrupt underworld influences would seize on the opportunity to use the flashy tourist friendly backdrop as the perfect disguise… hiding their dealings in plain sight.

 _Just one more mask of their sordid little hometown._

"Don't even tease me… I had Meg over to my place last night after the football game against All Saints High and our psycho tenant was in the kitchen again. Dude is seriously disturbed. I told my Mom's to just evict him but the dude just won't leave…" Wallace grimaced. The Sheriff's department had been less than useless in removing the hookers the guy had brought over and let camp out in his room for three days. He was supposed to be working tonight at the Sac-N-Pac after Basketball Practise before their game on Friday against Pam High but he really wanted to be at home with his Mom and little brother Daniel.

"Jeremy? You can't keep letting him get away with this, it's like the third time this month" Veronica pleaded. She recalled how a few weeks ago he'd mentioned that his mother suspected the creep was going into her bedroom while she wasn't there.

"I'd handle it myself but he's threatening some kind of lawsuit saying he fell in our yard. He's saying that he'll take it up against her employer if she doesn't back off. My Mom's up for a promotion this month, she can't be having any drama like this making its way back to her at work…." Wallace said shaking his head, besides the guy owed almost 2 month's rent and they couldn't afford for him not to cough up like he would eventually. "Look I got to get to the office" he sighed and walked away. "I'll see you at lunch"

"Okay…" she replied quietly, she'd let it go like he asked just this once, but one more incident and she was going to contact her dad.

 _I might just run a background check on him just to be sure… see who we are dealing with._

"You have that look" Logan remarked.

"What look?" she asked innocently.

"Your I'm-going-to-do-some-digging look" he replied.

"That has its own look?" she inquired, flashing him her best guiltless expression.

"Yep" he nodded wryly.

"Does it resemble anything like my kiss-me-Logan-Echolls look?" she teased giving him a little smirk.

"Does this resemble anything like your homeroom?" Mr Sanders repeated as he wandered past them again and tapped on his wristwatch for dramatic effect.

"It's like the school district employs that man simply to make sure I can't spend my mornings kissing you" Logan sighed in frustration as is breath on her neck sent tingles feathering over her skin.

"Come along Mr Echolls… we mustn't monopolize all of Ms Mars's time…" Mr Sanders urged as he glared at them sternly.

"Its like what happens to a person when you can't do… or get laid" he whispered in a low voice pitched just for her as he kissed her cheek and stepped away to glance back over his shoulder at Mr Sanders and gave him a mock salute as Veronica stifled a giggle.

Communications with Weevil and the other PCHers had been all but limited to subtle nods and calculated side wards glances, topped off with the usual wolf howls at the sight of any female flesh on display from Orlando and Havier. Most of the rest of her morning classes passed by in a blur and she found herself assisting Ms Dent by helping out with aiding Evelyn Buglee, the volunteer commissioner for the upcoming 20 year High School for the people who graduated at the same time as her mother, Lianne Reynolds. It was with mixed emotions that she both resented her own weakness at devouring every new piece of information she could about the woman who had raised, and then abandoned her.

 _I'm only checking it out because it might offer up some new leads as to where she might have gone…_

It didn't matter how she tried to reason it to herself, part of her hated her mother. She'd left… Veronica had needed her and she'd just ran away with no explanation... she hadn't even bothered to come back when she'd lost her memories and she knew that it'd ended up as a small bit in the entertainment section that she'd had medical problems and was attending Homecoming with Logan Echolls.

 _She just didn't care enough to even call…_

The biggest shock had been finding out that her mother and Jake Kane had been Homecoming King and Queen.

 _Her mother and Lilly's father had been high school sweethearts…. What did that mean? Did her father know? Could it have had something to do with why he'd gone so hard after Jake Kane during the murder investigation? Was it… jealousy?_

She cast a brief glance at her ex-boyfriend Duncan Kane.

 _Did he know about this?_

She was tempted to ask him but things between the two of them had gone from indifferent, to cordial to damn right frosty. Ever since she'd gotten together with Logan, he had completely blanked her again and he was his usual evasive self.

"Neptune High Trivia for you" Veronica announced as she sat down in her seat beside Logan where he was waiting in the food court. "Did you know that my mom and Jake Kane used to be childhood sweethearts?" handing him the yearbook.

"You're kidding right?" Logan scoffed before he looked at the picture of them at the high school dance with a heart around it.

"Its crazy right?" she sighed as she pulled her lunch out of her bag and a chilling thought occurred to him.

 _Did Veronica's mother have something to do with Lilly's death?_

She'd fallen apart after Lilly's murder, she'd pretty much fallen into the bottom of a bottle… she'd always been adamant that Jake Kane had been innocent.

 _Was she so certain because… she'd killed Lilly?_

He tried to kill the mutinous thought but he couldn't deny that her sudden disappearance a few months later didn't look like the actions of someone who wasn't hiding some kind of secret. He would focus their investigation in another direction first… until they had eliminated all other possibilities. His eyebrows tilted down in the hint of a frown as he clamped down on the accusations and questions clamouring for release.

 _Who would ever want to think that the person who raised them was a killer? Who'd want to be burdened with the thought that that kind of darkness ran in their blood? I'll be with her no matter what happens…_

"Logan! I'll catch you outside Wu's after Study Hall" Dick called as he wandered by with several pizza boxes and went to sit beside Faith Schultz and Madison. "Veronica… you keep looking after my guy" he winked.

"What was that about?" Wallace asked as he walked up to their table with his tray, narrowly missing tripping on the step before he corrected himself.

"Just Dick… being Dick" Logan dismissed quickly although Wallace was sure he could swear he'd almost see him blushing. Veronica was too engrossed in looking through an old high school yearbook to notice.

"Uh huh…" Wallace replied sceptically as Logan tried to reign in the raw craving that flushed his cheeks when he thought about the previous evening and her cool-as-a-cucumber veneer made him envious as his groin tightened.

 _He'd taken her right there against the wall… He didn't do things like this… He wasn't this reckless…_

Logan mentally scolded himself, they were tracking down murderers, attempting to unravel conspiracies and getting involved in plots against the Mob, while to ace Mr Daniels English test and avoid being separated being ripped apart by their fathers… and all he could think about was how the water had shimmered seductively over her lithe lines and sultry curves as she gave herself to him with complete abandon the night before? He'd be torturing himself with that image of her for months… standing naked almost glittering from head to toe like some kind of provocative early Christmas gift.

She must have sensed him watching her because she looked up from her salad and gave him a quizzical look.

"My Mom was asking again when she could expect you over for Dinner" he said quickly, trying to ignore the tide of desire for her currently singing in his veins. "And fair warning… since she is back in town, my sister Trina has been threatening to take you shopping" he sighed.

"Oh…." Veronica shifted nervously. "I'll have to check my schedule and pencil that in for next to… never?" she replied.

"Shopping? Where?" Meg asked as she arrived at the lunch table with May, Tessa and Natalie.

"Please tell me it's for shoes!" Natalie pleaded, earning Meg a pained expression from Wallace as he slid over to allow them to sit down.

"Hey! You got all the glitter out! I'm so sorry about that again Veronica…" May exclaimed and Logan looked over at the short redhead girl, contemplating offering her thanks for the erotic pictures currently circulating around his head and igniting his libido.

"I miss the days… when all we used to talk about at this table right here… were Taco Tuesdays and whatever dessert we were having at Gumbo and Basketball night" he whispered to Veronica as his deep voice rumbled across the table and she giggled silently. It was good to see her laugh, if even just briefly.

"I set up the equipment in the AV lab for you again Veronica" Mac announced as she came over and slotted into the seat beside May.

"Thanks!" Veronica smiled and offered over a small bag with chocolate chip cookies.

"You're using the video lab?" Logan questioned, something in his tone implied that he knew this was more than just a class project.

"Yes… I was actually hoping to ask your help with that… I am in need of your particular specialist skills" she said cryptically.

"Organizing your porn career?" Caitlin sneered as she walked by.

"Seriously… what is that girls problem?" Wallace demanded as they watched her walk over to the table where Faith and Madison where sitting, flanked by Pam and Kimmy.

"Who? Her? Just the President of my fan club" Veronica said pointing at the bottle blond and heaved a sigh, trying to shake the recollections of the recordings she'd been listening to over the last few days from her head.

"It's not you… it's me" Logan comforted. "She's a Celebutant wannabe. Doesn't like someone else playing with her toys… girls like that think I'm like some kind of Gucci handbag" he thought bitterly, she was no better than any of the other rich spoiled socialites he'd dated who all flaunted him around like some kind of additional asset and using whatever fun they could get out of him before tossing him aside in favour of someone closer to their ideal version a mouldable future husband would make them his trophy wife while they were still young enough to twist their youth to their advantage. They quickly learned that he was not the kind of man to pressed and bent into shape, and when they figured that out… they usually left him.

 _Beautiful, privileged people, living beautiful privileged lives…_

"Celebutant?" Natalie asked.

"Celebrity Debutant… young women who just want to look pretty for the cameras… you know… famous for being famous?" May explained.

Wallace stood, his tall athletic frame unfolding from the chair as he left his tray over by the collection point and he chatted to some of the basketball players about the upcoming game, his dark ebony eyes continuing to steal adoring glances at Meg while she focused on Mac telling them all about the new transfer student Troy Vandergraf who'd been sent off by his dad to some all-boys catholic school getting caught for drug possession.

"A whole piñata full of steroids… and there was some girl from his previous school too" Natalie added, Logan frowned. He'd known that Troy had been in Tijuana with Luke and Mike Stephens when his father's car had been allegedly stolen, along with about $8000 dollars' worth of drugs that Luke had been smuggling.

"Do you think it has anything to do with those meatheads that beat up Luke a few weeks ago?" May whispered, her sea-green eyes wide and Logan couldn't help but compare her wild red hair to that Disney character Mèrida from the movie Brave he'd had to watch on a loop when he'd been dating Tammy Forrester for a few months last year and they had to babysit her younger sisters.

"And to think you almost went to Homecoming with _that_ guy" Logan smirked at Veronica as he followed her into the AV lab, no doubt rumours would be circulating about something less than savoury going on between the two of them in here.

 _Hell, all he had to do was think about something more intimate happening between the two of them in there and no doubt Mr Sanders would sniff them out like a blood hound._

"You are kind of pouty when you are jealous" Veronica provoked as she pulled out the tapes from her bag, placing them on the table behind her. His gaze trawled her body, slowly, assessing her petite curves designed to drive men to the edge of insanity.

"Jealous?" he asked, arching an eyebrow, his fingertips were gliding around her waist, tugging her against his body as she stepped away from him as his body mirrored her movements, inching closer.

"Wouldn't you be jealous?" she taunted, a playful glint in her blue eyes . "I'd be in those strappy heels… some red satin dress… smelling good enough to eat… and he'd be wanting to put his hands all over me…." She purred as her hands threaded through his hair as he pinned her up against the desk, his brown eyes dark with lust and challenge and she couldn't prevent the surge of reaction in her body as he looked at her that way.

"Yeah… well he can keep wanting… because the only hands you belong in are mine…." He murmured his hands on her slender ribcage as he pressed his lips against hers, her mouth was nectar sweet and she shuddered, trying to control the riot of hormones clamouring for gratification, the scent of sea and soap and male enticed her like a heady invitation. Her feet were glued to the spot, her will to resist in case they were caught eclipsed by a flood of remembered pleasure.

"Tell me why we are in here before I lose control and take you right here on the table…" his voice was hoarse and vibrated through his wide chest as he held her against him.

"T-the Homecoming video… I was hoping you could digitize the Abel Koontz arrest footage.. like you did before…" she swallowed, her blue eyes were careful, studying his face for signs of protest and she felt his grip tighten around her, his expression a careful mask revealing nothing. "I was thinking… We could get the files onto DVD and review the footage at your house together. Your pool house is pretty private and we wouldn't have to worry about my dad or anyone else interrupting us" she added quietly.

"Yeah… that sounds like a good idea…" he nodded, he could use that time to have a serious talk with her. Get them both on the same page.

 _If he could just get his libido to get over the fact that she'd just planned to be someplace private with him away from prying eyes and parental supervision…_


	62. Chapter 62

"I think we need to lay down some ground rules Dude" Dick declared as he climbed into Logan's car and began to eat the ice-cream cone which he had sent Cassidy off to retrieve for him.

"Ground rules for what?" Logan asked as he stood beside his car door, towelling drying his short brown hair, his muscles ached and he was glad to finally be out his wetsuit even if he did miss the feel of the cool water, the waves had been tougher than usual and he regretted not applying at least one layer of sunscreen this afternoon. Logan's thoughts were finding themselves making their way back to Veronica and her promise to meet him at his house after she finished up some paperwork at her dad's private investigations office.

"Now that you've decided to get all Loved Up on us" Dick explained. "It's no little secret that my Ice Madison and your Fine Vixen Veronica do not get along… but even so… that shouldn't mean that we don't get to hang out. So I think we should divide the week up, and reserve Thursday afternoons for Surf and Beers with the Boys… which means you gotta tell your little wildcat to go easy on the scratchs… or to at least retract the claws on Weds. It slows you down out there." He continued before handing Logan a soda from the cooler which he accepted gratefully, the cold liquid did nothing to calm the flush of embarrassment reddening his cheeks as the bubbles tickled his throat.

"I think Toothpaste is supposed to help with that" Dick suggested.

"It's natural yoghurt Einstein, not toothpaste" Cassidy mumbled as he shoved his wet clothes into his bag, sighing unhappily at the sight of the sand that Dick had put in, not just his trainers, but his clean socks as well. Shooting his older brother an unhappy look as Logan shook his head.

 _Thank God I don't have an older brother…_

It was a common occurrence when Cassidy's style choices were ones that Dick decided ruined his image as an efficient wingman. He would pull pranks on his younger sibling frequently to 'establish dominance' and try to toughen the little guy up a bit, or most likely because he was just bored.

"Told you Lil Bro… embrace your position in the pack. Logan's Alpha, I'm the Beta and you… are the Omega" he lectured.

"You're such an asshole… these are Italian Leather… Mom sent them to me" the younger Casablanca's pouted.

"And there is the problem Lil Bro… you are far too old to be letting Mom dress you… and I don't know why you are crying like a little bitch. We are flying over there in 3 days.. you can get like 6 pairs for Christmas… I might even help you out by getting picking some that doesn't completely ruin your Game" Dick scoffed as Cassidy tossed the wet leather shoes into the bag and accepted the flip flops that Logan offered him.

"You couldn't pour the water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel" Cassidy grumbled.

"Okay… now try that again, but use your Big Girl words. This reminds me… Dude" Dick said turning his attention back to Logan as he climbed into the car. "Pool Party, my house, this Friday after the Basketball game… my dad's out of town. Duncan won't be there… The only way you get to blow this off is if you are getting blown off… I'm serious Dude… you gotta be there, even if I gotta like petition some Judge for like Joint Custody of you with Ms Mars" he insisted. "Better yet, bring her along… she can drive you home and you can tuck her into bed."

 _As subtle as a brick to the face…_

Logan almost winced at the crude language his friend was using but knew it would be futile to outright refuse this second, he knew Veronica didn't really like attending 09er party's since Lilly's death.

 _At least… she hadn't before they'd started dating…_

"Dick! You promised Dad there would be no party's after last time!" Cassidy complained.

"Don't get your bikini in a bunch Beaves… he said there was to be no House Party's… this is a Pool Party so it's totally cool" Dick corrected. "Loop Holes Logan… It's all in the fine print."

"You'd make a hell of Lawyer Dick" Logan smirked, quirking an eyebrow as he looked at Cassidy's sulking expression in the rear-vision mirror.

"Dude! That would imply ambition or responsibility… don't say shit like that Bro!" Dick gasped through a full mouth as he sucked on his ice-cream as he glanced back at Cassidy in horror and shuddered at the thought.

"I'll ask her" Logan conceded before turning the ignition and driving his friends back to their house.

Veronica finished clearing away the plates from the lasagne she'd had for dinner with her father as he stood in his office with Casey Gant's parents and some guy who looked like one of those Moon Mission Nasa employees. Apparently, Casey had run off to join some kind of cult and they wanted them to run some kind of background check. She had found Daisy's autopsy report in her father's playboy box when she'd gotten home when she went to take Backup for a run.

 _Did she really want to know all the gory details? She'd read Lilly's case file and those pictures were permanently seared into her brain._

"We just want him home for Christmas" his mother insisted before they left.

"You know… such pleasant people… they almost make me sorry for the mean, awful accurate things I said…" Veronica sighed.

"Yeah… there was something a bit off about them" Keith Mars agreed before he went to grab his coffee.

"You taking the case?" she asked.

"I'll do the formalities.. see what I can dig up" he nodded.

"They said he met one of the counsellors at school… I could ask around tomorrow… see what the recruitment process is? Maybe do a little undercover.." Veronica suggested.

"Veronica… honey we talked about this… I just want you to focus on school and helping me keep the office in order… I don't want you getting involved in the investigations anymore" he scolded and she broke away from his smoky grey-green eyes. They'd been having this conversation a few days now, neither side really willing to back down. He sipped his coffee and said nothing else, neither did she.

 _Sometimes the greatest way to say something… was to say nothing at all…_

He shared Logan's reservations about her getting involved in cases. She knew it was because he wanted to protect her, but some threats were too big to ignore. The monsters got bolder if they weren't caught, and more people would get hurt until they were stopped. She was tempted to mention the troubles that Mrs Fennel had been having with her problem tenant but Wallace had asked her to let him handle it for now and the background checks would be emailed to her later on this evening. She'd been tempted to ask him about the yearbook photos and about how her parents had met.

 _What exactly was her mother's history with Jake Kane? How did the relationship end?_

"Are you heading out?" he asked, noting her packed bag and coat that was waiting for her.

"Yeah… I um… have a date…" she confirmed as she closed up her laptop and he leaned idly against the doorway.

"You sure you know what you are doing with that boy honey?" he sighed and his words ricocheted around her head.

 _Was she sure? She honestly wasn't sure some days… but it didn't mean she appreciated him questioning her judgement…_

Her father had never really forgiven Logan after the several pranks he'd pulled here at the office last year and the bullying he'd instigated amongst her peers, but she couldn't really make him understand how much he had changed without letting him know about her snooping into Lilly's murder investigation, about how much he was on their side now that he had finally read her journal and learned the truth. She couldn't explain it because she didn't really understand it herself… Logan was her focal point. When the storm raged around her, he's what she wanted, he was her safe haven. The trust thing… it didn't come naturally to her. She'd seen too much deceit, too many liars and failed marriages whilst working for her dad… but if there was someone she wanted to let in completely, to let herself be that open and vulnerable with, it was the man with soulful brown eyes who kept offering his heart out to her and kissing her like he needed her more than his next breath.

"It's my heart dad…" she answered quietly as she picked up her coat. She knew he'd rather he try and give it to someone more down to Earth like Wallace.

 _Not the tabloid and gossip pages troubled teen of an A list movie star. Hadn't part of the benefit of working for her father been she'd had an early education that Love was an over-rated commodity?_

"I'm not going to tell you who to date" he told her casually but his tone told her everything she needed to know.

 _She had just found herself again… he didn't want her to get lost in this boy…_

He didn't trust Logan and if he wasn't so busy with his recent case load he would probably be trying to organize some kind of father-boyfriend interaction while she got ready involving some rifle cleaning some evening and his best scary impression.

"I won't be back too late" she promised and headed towards the door.

"Ready to go?" Logan asked as she climbed into his car and she startled him when she hauled him closer for a deep kiss instead of putting on her seatbelt, a sound between a rumble and a growl vibrated from his throat and they were momentarily lost in sheer bliss as she inhaled the scent of salt and sin. When she pulled back a lazy grin had spread from his mouth all the way to his eyes.

"I missed you too Bobcat" he said in a deep and masculine voice as he tried to regain his composure as he stared at the petite blond buckling into her seat beside him. They had halted their little lusty interlude earlier in the AV room and compiled digital versions of the video files of all the Lilly Kane crime scene footage, the Abel Koontz Trial, the arrest and press coverage and compare everything with the crime scene pictures and witness statements of the original case files. He marvelled again at the change in the Veronica sat beside him who was so different to the girl he knew a year ago. She was a vigilante in a gritty corrupt town like Neptune, nothing like the sweet Sheriff's daughter who had been Lilly's best friend and he felt something tighten in his chest. In some ways, he didn't know this girl at all, maybe he never had and the notion rocked his world off its axis.

 _Even when she'd had none of her memories she'd kept her investigation a secret from him… there was just something in her physical make-up that made her naturally accustomed to fending for herself… how could he protect her if she wouldn't let him all the way in?_

A knowing little smile played at the corners of her lips as her blond hair tumbled like skeins of spun gold down her shoulders and her fingers entwined with his, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Are you free tomorrow night?" Veronica asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

"I'm usually very expensive" he retorted in amusement.

"I was thinking we could go on a date… we haven't really had much time to… just be us. Since everything…" she suggested shyly, her blue eyes roaming his handsome face. After Duncan Kane had broken her heart and she had woken up that morning after Shelley Pomeroys party she had sworn that the wall around her heart would be impregnable, no more tears, no more pain, no more self-recriminations, but this man had been the proverbial wrecking ball that had broken his way through. She'd lost too many people, Lilly, Daisy and her mother's disappearance, even herself.

She didn't want everything in her life to revolve around her secret shadow game against these unknown adversaries. All she had to go on so far was a hunch that the Kane's had been involved somehow, a parking ticket proving Lilly's time of death was off by a few hours that eliminated the alibi's of almost everyone originally investigated and the name of Abel Koontz daughter Amelia.

It still wasn't hard evidence though and none of the recordings she had listened to so far had offered up more than the usual bitchy high school gossip. Even her father had seemingly given up on looking into Lilly's murder after Abel Koontz had fired his court appointed public defender.

 _Maybe her father was right and she should just stick to calculus and making sure the filing system was in place?_

Maybe she should just stick to making sure she didn't use her stubbornness and prickly demeanour to push away this man who was charming, fun and seemingly inexhaustible with his rapturous kisses?

The thought of going up against an organization like the Mob and people that well connected made her fearful of what her father would do if he got hold of that tablet that Becca had given her. Daisy deserved justice, but she'd also have been the first one to tell her to slow down, to take her time.

"Patience is an investigators friend. Allow them to make mistakes. Someone with something to hide always has to cover their tracks. All it takes is for them to slip up once and you can gather up the vital piece of evidence that unravels their web of lies" Daisy's had told her one night while she had been discussing why she loved her forensic classes so much.

"Are you trying to ask me out on a Date?" Logan smiled in surprise.

"Well I was thinking we could go rent out a fire pit and toast some marshmallows, then down to the Boardwalk and watch the fireworks display like we are some shameless tourists… or you could join me and my dad for dinner and enjoy a cross-examination on your intentions for his daughter over pizza?" She teased nervously but she could already see the softening of his shoulders.

"Do I have to wear one of those I heart Neptune t-shirts or can I just stick with a novelty key chain?" he laughed and his smile was a bullet to her heart.

 _Take a Leap of Faith Veronica… what's the worst that could happen?_


End file.
